https://online2.tingclass.net/lesson/shi0529/10000/10080/5061.mp3
https://image.tingclass.net/statics/js/2012
So what kind of cruise is this you're going on?
您這次要參加的是什么樣的巡航
It's called the Born Again Boat Ride.
這次水上之行稱為"重生之旅"
Christian Quarterly gave it their highest rating five thorny crowns.
基督教季刊給予了這次旅途最高的評價五顆荊棘王冠呢
I do wish you'd come with me, Sheldon.
我真希望你能跟我一起去 謝爾頓
Well, Mom, if I did, it would be conclusive proof that your God can work miracles.
老媽 如果我去了就等于直接證明 您的神真的能造就奇跡
You're missing out.It's gonna be wall to wall fun.It's all themed.
這你可就錯了 到時候歡樂肯定無所不在 全都有主題哦
There's Jonah and the Whale watching.All you can eat Last Supper Buffet.And my personal favorite, Gunning with God.
你還能吃到名為"最后的晚餐"的自助餐 以及我本人的最愛 "神之恕擊"
What's Gunning with God? I'm afraid to ask.
我冒昧的問一下 什么叫"神之恕擊"
Oh, it is a hoot and a half.You write your sins on a clay pigeon,they fire 'em up in the air,and you pulverize them with a 12 gauge shotgun
說起來非常的有趣 首先將你的罪惡寫在一個泥制飛靶上 再用機器把靶子彈射出去 然后你拿一把12發(fā)彈容的散彈槍打爆它
full of our Lord's forgiveness.
充滿了神的寬恕啊
Frankly, Mom, I'm encouraged to see how advanced your group has become you are willing to sail out into the ocean without fear of falling off the edge.
老實說 媽媽 我很高興看到你們天主教團思想進步了敢于出海 不再擔心地球是平的 船會摔下去(暗諷《圣經》里多處暗示大地是一塊平板)
For example,if Shelly was aboard, he'd write,Smart mouth on his pigeon,and then bam!
打個比方 如果謝利在船上 他應該 在飛靶寫上"牙尖嘴利"然后來個五雷轟頂
The Lord giveth and the Lord bloweth away.
神予之 神毀之
Well, Mom, according to my itinerary for our weekend together,the fun begins with fried chicken.
老媽 根據(jù)我們以往周末的安排 歡樂應該始于炸雞
Sounds delicious.
聽起來很美味啊
Good, 'cause I got you everything you need to make it.
很好 因為我已經幫你備齊了所有材料
You are in for a treat.My mother's fried chicken is why we had to buy my dad the extra large coffin.
你有口福了 我爸的棺材 之所以變成加大號的 就是因為我媽的炸雞美味
Sheldon, she just got off the plane.She doesn't want to cook.
謝爾頓 她剛下飛機 她不想做飯了
Of course she does.Making me food is her way of saying "I love you""
她當然想做飯給我吃 那是她向我表達"我愛你"的方式
Making me food when she's too tired to cook is her way of saying "I really love you."
在她筋疲力盡的時候做給我吃 是她向我表達"我真的很愛你"的方式
Actually, I wouldn't mind going out for a bite, Sheldon.
其實我并不介意出去吃 謝爾頓
Won't that spoil our appetites for the chicken you're going to make me?
吃那些粗糧 會壞了吃炸雞的好胃口吧
All right, that settles it, we're going out.Do you like sushi? There's a great little place down the street.
好了 就這么定了 我們出去吃 你喜歡吃壽司嗎 街上有家小店不錯
I've never had it,but there's no harm in trying something new.
我沒吃過壽司 不過試試新鮮事物總沒什么壞處
There's a lot of harm in trying something new.
嘗試新鮮事物壞處多了
That's why we test out drugs and cosmetics on bunny rabbits.
所以要用兔子來測試藥物和化妝品的安全性
Sheldon, you're talking like a crazy person.
謝爾頓 你的言行像個瘋子
Actually, I had him tested as a child.
其實 他小時候我?guī)麢z查過了
Doctor says he's fine.
醫(yī)生說他很正常
Told you.
早跟你說了
Although, I do regret not following up with that specialist in Houston.
雖然我很后悔沒接著去找休斯頓的那位專家
Our whole universe was in a hot dense state,then nearly fourteen billion years ago expansion started. Wait...
我們的宇宙進入了極熱的高濃度狀態(tài),后來,140億年前它開始擴張。等等……
The Earth began to cool,the autotrophs began to drool,neanderthals developed tools, we built a wall (we built the pyramids),
地球開始冷卻,自養(yǎng)生物開始繁殖,穴居人學會使用工具,我們開始建墻(我們還建了金字塔)
Math, science, history, unraveling the mysteries,That all started with the big bang!bang!
數(shù)學、科學、歷史解開了宇宙之謎。這一切從宇宙大爆炸開始。
いらっしゃいます
歡迎光臨
Stop yelling!
別瞎嚷嚷了
I'm not happy about this.
來這兒我很不開心
What's the last thing you were ever happy about?
你這輩子什么時候開心過嗎
The prospect of fried chicken.
等著吃炸雞的時候
This is exciting.
真令人激動
Back home, the diner on Route Four serves sushi,but it's just cut up fish sticks and a side of Uncle Ben's.
咱家四號公路線那的館子也賣壽司 但他們只是把炸魚排切碎 再配上"本恩大叔"牌速食米飯
They put it on the menu in those kung fu letters,but that don't make it sushi.
即使他們用"功夫文"寫菜單 但假貨就假貨
Uh, kung fu letters might not be politically correct.
額 "功夫文"好像有點種族歧視吧
Oh, I thought the one we couldn't say was "ching chong"
我還以為只有"ching chong"是不能說的呢(ching chong:外國人模仿中國話發(fā)音 變相對亞洲人的種族詆毀的詞語)
Yeah, yeah, that, too.
額 對 那個也不能說
So, Shelly,what's up with you and your friend Amy,if you don't mind a mother prying a bit?
謝利 你和你的朋友艾米進展如何了 如果你不介意媽媽窺探點隱私的話
Well, there's actually big news on the Amy front.
艾米的確有大進展
She's been studying the neurobiology of addiction in lower animals.She's this close to getting a starfish hooked on cocaine.
她在研究神經生物學中有關低等生物的上癮問題 她就差這么一點點 就能讓海星迷上可卡因了
Do you have any idea what's going on with those two?
你知道他們兩個發(fā)展的情況嗎
It's kind of like the Loch Ness monster.Maybe there's something there, maybe there isn't.We'll probably never know.
他們倆的關系就像尼斯湖水怪 也許事實存在 也許不存在 真相可能永遠藏在湖里
But sometimes it's fun to creep yourself out thinking about it.
偷想這問題來驚嚇一下自己 還是挺有意思的
How are you doing on the young lady front?I hear you're in some sort of a long distance situation?
你跟年輕女孩子相處得怎樣 我聽聞你被異地戀困擾著
Yeah, it's Raj's sister.
是啊 拉杰的妹妹
It's kind of tough. She's in India.Also, her parents aren't happy she's dating someone white.
情況比較棘手 她遠在印度 她父母也不希望她跟白種人交往
Oh, that's a funny turn, isn't it?
那真是個有趣的轉機 不是嗎
You never think about it going the other way.
在約會之前 你怎么沒想過這個問題呢
Well, you can't force things.You need to figure out if you're in a relationship or if you're just calling it one.It's like they say a cat can have kittens in the oven but that don't make 'em biscuits.
有些事情你強求不來 你應該想想你們是否真的是在交往 還是你們只是名義上的 就好像常言道 你可以把米放到電鍋里 不代表米就會成炊
And that reminds me of another saying.You can lead a chicken to Crisco,but you can't make your mother fry it.
這提醒了我另外一句常言 你可以誘拐雞跳炸鍋 但不代表你能誘拐你媽去炸雞
Sheldon, you pester me one more time about chicken,I will put you over my knee right here in this restaurant.
謝爾頓 你再拿雞的事情煩我 我就把你按到我膝蓋上 當眾打你屁股
Please pester her. Please, for me.
求你煩她吧 就當為了我
So, Mrs. Cooper, what did you think of the sushi?
庫珀夫人 你覺得壽司如何
It was good.The only thing that would have made it better is if it was cooked
很不錯 唯一美中不足的是 它要是熟食就好了
and if it was beef.
要是夾牛肉 就更棒了
Sheldon, when is your landlord going to fix the elevator?
謝爾頓 你房東何時能把電梯修理一下
I don't know.
我不清楚
Lately we've been talking about converting it into a missile silo.
最近我們有在商量 把電梯改造成導彈發(fā)射井
Your son seems to think we need to launch a preemptive strike on Burbank.
你兒子似乎覺得 咱們得先對伯班克發(fā)動攻擊啊
Get them before they get us.
先下手為強 后下手遭殃嘛
Hey, look who decided to show up.
看看是誰大駕光臨了
Raj, what are you doing?
拉杰 你搞什么
I couldn't find you guys so I bought six new friends.
我找不到你們 就買了六個新朋友
Three, sadly, are dead.
可惜的是 有三個已經陣亡了
Mom, you remember Rajesh? Rajesh, my mother.
媽媽 你記得拉杰嗎 拉杰 這位是我媽媽
Of course.Mrs. Cooper.So nice to see you again.
當然記得 庫珀夫人嘛 很高興再見到你
Well, it's so nice to see you, too.
我也是
I thought it was our Indians that had the occasional alcohol problem.
我以為印第安人才偶有酗酒問題(印第安人和印度人都叫Indian) 沒想到印度人也會呀
We don't say that, either.
這也帶歧視 不能說
I'll make you a list.
我回頭列個單子給你
Oh, that would be mighty white of you.
你真是太好了 不愧是白人
So, Raj, what pain are you trying to cover up with alcohol?
拉杰 你借酒澆愁是為了什么事
Nothing, I'm fine.
沒什么 我很好
Are ya? No.
是嗎 不 我不好
That's better.Now tell me what's bothering you.
這樣好多了 說說你有什么困擾
I'm so lonely.
我好孤獨
Oh, yes, born alone, die alone.It's a tragic human condition.Now,
當然了 孤單的出生 孤獨的死去 人類就是如此悲劇
Raj,if you'll excuse my mother,she's about to make a pecan pie that'll be so good I'll almost forget how she blew it with the fried chicken.
拉杰 你快別煩我媽了 她要去給我做核桃派 要是好吃 我就暫時不計較炸雞的事
Sheldon, your friend is hurtin'.What do we do when someone's hurtin'?
謝爾頓 你朋友很傷心 這個時候我們該怎么做
Offer them a hot beverage.
給他們倒一杯熱飲
And when they're drunk as a skunk,what beverage do we offer?
而要是他們喝得跟個鬼似的 我們該給他們什么飲料
Coffee.
咖啡
And what do we do it with?
還得要怎樣
Now you listen to me.
現(xiàn)在你給我聽好
I know you feel like you can't find someone,but there's a lock for every key.
我知道你感覺自己注定是剩男 但每個問題都有解決方法
Back home, there's a girl works at the Wal Mart.
以前有個在沃爾瑪工作的女孩
Tall, tall girl.
長得實在太高
Woman could hunt geese with a rake.
她用釘耙就能把鵝從空中打下來了
Thought she'd never find a man,then one day, wouldn't ya know,Harlem Globetrotters come to town.
她覺得自己找不到男人但有一天 誰知道呢 哈林籃球隊的人來到鎮(zhèn)上(Harlem Globetrotters 哈林環(huán)球旅行者籃球隊)
Long story short,today that woman travels the world with a semi professional basketball player and two beautiful mixed race babies.
長話短說 現(xiàn)在這個女人和一個半職業(yè)籃球選手周游世界 還生了兩個漂亮的混血寶寶
I didn't get a lot of that because of your accent,but the general tone was soothing and somehow I feel better.
雖然因為你的口音問題我沒怎么聽懂 但你的語氣很撫慰人心 我感覺好多了
I'm not going to get my pecan pie, am I?
我吃不到核桃派了是吧
You want some Oreos?
你想來點奧利奧嗎
Double Stuf? No, regular.
混合夾心的嗎 不是 普通的
Nice. Kick a man when he's down.
不錯 真會在傷口上撒鹽
I'm glad we're finally getting to do something together,just the two of us.
很高興我們終于可以一起做點事情就我們兩個人
Sure.One thing you really miss when you're on vacation is laundry.
當然 出來度假還有衣服要洗 真是開心啊
Careful, you're using too much Downey.
注意點 你松軟劑放太多了
You know if my clothes get too soft it makes me sleepy.
要是我衣服太柔軟 我穿著會想睡覺的
Well, this takes me back.Me doing your laundry, you next to me criticizing.
這讓我想起了以前的日子 我?guī)湍阆匆路?而你在旁邊碎碎念
It is nice, isn't it?
很有愛吧
Mrs. Cooper.Hi.
庫珀夫人
Oh, hello, darlin'.
你好 親愛的
Sheldon, you didn't tell me your mom was coming.
謝爾頓 你都沒告訴我你媽媽要來
It was in my weekly e mail blast.
我在一周郵件集錦中寫了的
Right between "Beet season is finally here"and "Uh oh, red stool from beets leads to cancer scare."
就在"甜菜季終于來了" 和"神馬 甜菜根會致癌"這兩條中間
So, how've you been?
你最近怎么樣
Good, good.
很好啊
I hear that Leonard has a new girlfriend.How are you doing with all that?
我聽說萊納德交了新女友 你感覺怎么樣
Oh, fine. You know, it's been a while.I'm getting back out there.
還好啦 已經過了一陣了 我已經重新開始物色對象了
Let me ask you, when you get back out there,are you wearing this?
我多嘴問一句 你物色對象的時候 不會是穿著這個吧
Well, it's super cute on.That top has paid for itself in free drinks like ten times what it cost.
這個吊帶超好看的 全靠它別人才免費請我喝酒 省下的酒錢都夠買十件了
Yes, Penny has a lot of her money tied up in promiscuity futures.
對 佩妮的錢基本都是靠濫交來的
Hon, you think maybe the reason why you're having trouble finding a guy to settle down with is because you're letting them ride the roller coaster without buying a ticket?
親愛的 你也許該知道 你一直找不到一個合適的人 是因為你總讓男人們先"上"車 而不讓他們掏一個子兒
Oh, they don't always get to ride the roller coaster.
不是誰都有福分能"上"云霄飛車
Sometimes they only get to spin the teacups.
沒福分的就只能在一旁 玩玩咖啡"杯"
Now I'm going out tonight.Would it be crazy to ask you to look at the outfit I'm going to wear?
我今晚要出去 要是我請你幫我選衣服 這樣會不會太瘋狂了
Oh, not crazy at all.
一點也不蠢
And don't beat yourself up.When I was your age, you could have me for a car ride and a bottle of strawberry wine.
別看輕自己我像你這么大的時候 一瓶草莓酒就能騙我出去兜風了
That will not be in this week's e mail blast.