生活大爆炸 第六季:第15集:新室友(上)
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I don't know why I avoided the Harry Potter books for so long.
真不知道我這些年來(lái)為什么不看哈利波特系列小說(shuō)
These are great.
寫(xiě)得很不錯(cuò)啊
I just started number six.
我剛開(kāi)始看第六冊(cè)
That's a good one.
那本挺好看的
Dumbledore dies in that one.
鄧布利多在這一本里死了
Yeah, I know, I didn't see it coming, either.
我懂你的感覺(jué)， 我當(dāng)初也沒(méi)料到
Why would you say that?
你干嘛說(shuō)出來(lái)啊
You brought up the subject.
你開(kāi)始了一個(gè)話題
I contributed an interesting fact on that subject.
然后我回以與話題有關(guān)的有趣訊息
It's called the art of conversation.
這就叫聊天的藝術(shù)啊
Okay, your turn. That was a huge spoiler. Good. What is wrong with you?
換你說(shuō)了你這是超級(jí)大劇透啊。灰常好。你這人有病啊
If I did that, you'd bitch about it for weeks. Oh, really, Leonard?
換做是我劇透， 你肯定會(huì)嘰歪一整周。不是吧， 萊納德
Are you going to have another one of your hissy fits?
你的小暴脾氣又要發(fā)作了嗎
Hissy fits? I have hissy fits?
小暴脾氣， 我有小暴脾氣嗎
Yes, and I have a theory why.
沒(méi)錯(cuò)， 而且我還得出個(gè)推論
Because of your lactose intolerance, you switched over to soy milk.
因?yàn)槟愕娜樘遣荒桶Y所以你用豆奶替代牛奶
Soy contains estrogenmimicking compounds.
而大豆含有類雌激素的化合物
I think your morning Cocoa Puffs are turning you into a hysterical woman.
你的可可球加豆奶早餐把你變成了一個(gè)歇斯底里的八婆
You are unbelievable. I don't know why I put up with you.
你還真夠極品啊。我干嘛要這么忍你
You're controlling, you're irritating... There you go againnag, nag, nag.
又是控制狂， 又超級(jí)欠扁。又開(kāi)始嘰嘰歪歪了， 嘰嘰， 歪歪， 嘰歪
You're only proving my point, little lady.
越嘰歪越顯得我說(shuō)得對(duì)哦， 小三八
You know what? Screw you, Sheldon.
謝爾頓， 滾你丫的
You are the most annoying person I have ever met.
你是我這輩子見(jiàn)過(guò)最煩人的人了
What? I'm annoying?
什么， 我哪里煩人了
You criticize my behavior all the time.
明明是你整天對(duì)我的言行意見(jiàn)超多
"Sheldon, don't talk about your bowel movements over breakfast."
"謝爾頓， 吃早飯時(shí)別提你排便的事"
"Sheldon, when the president of the university is giving a eulogy at a funeral, don't yawn and point at your watch."
"謝爾頓， 我們大學(xué)校長(zhǎng)在喪禮上念悼詞時(shí)別打哈欠外加指手表催他"
"Sheldon, don't throw away my shirts'cause you think they're ugly."
"謝爾頓， 不要覺(jué)得我衣服難看就把它們拿去丟了"
You're impossible. That's it. I don't...
你才難搞好嗎？夠了， 我沒(méi)必要...
I don't have to put up with this.
我沒(méi)必要忍這些極品事
Actually, I have your signature on a roommate agreement that says you do.
事實(shí)上， 從你在室友協(xié)議上簽名的那天起你就注定得忍受
Here's what I think of your roommate agreement.
這就是我對(duì)室友協(xié)議的意見(jiàn)
You pick that up right now. No.
你馬上給我撿起來(lái)， 不要
Roommate agreement, section 27, paragraph 5: The roommate agreement, like the American flag, cannot touch the ground.
室友協(xié)議第27章， 第五段寫(xiě)明室友協(xié)議書(shū)， 與美國(guó)國(guó)旗一樣都不許落地
I don't care. I don't have to do anything you say because...
懶得鳥(niǎo)你。我才懶得管你說(shuō)了哪些屁話呢
I don't think I want to live here anymore.
我以后不想住這里了
Where are you going? To live with Penny and not you, you crazy bastard.
你要上哪去， 去跟佩妮住不跟你這傻逼混球住了
Crazy bastard? Yes. Leonard, wait. What?
你罵我傻逼混球， 沒(méi)錯(cuò)。萊納德， 等等， 干嘛
Dobby the elf dies in book seven.
小精靈多比在第七冊(cè)也死了。
Here you go.Great. Come on in. What, you don't say thank you? It's my suitcase.
還你太好啦， 進(jìn)來(lái)吧。連句謝謝都不說(shuō)嗎？這本來(lái)就是我的
I lent it to you two years ago.
我兩年前借給你的
Well, then, I should tell you I broke the wheel and the handle.
行， 那我告訴你吧。我把輪子跟手把都弄壞了
So, is everyone from Bernadette's company going to Vegas?
伯納黛特全公司的人都要去賭城玩嗎
No, just me, her and a couple of the big wigs.
沒(méi)， 就我跟她， 以及一些高層
It's part of a bonus she got. Cool.
這是她公司的額外獎(jiǎng)勵(lì)啦， 不錯(cuò)
Did she discover a cure for something? going to Vegas?
她是研發(fā)出某種疾病的解藥之類的嗎？不算是啦
They spent a ton of money developing this dandruff medication that had the side effect of horrible anal leakage.
他們公司砸大錢(qián)研發(fā)出一種治療頭皮屑的藥而那個(gè)藥的副作用是導(dǎo)致嚴(yán)重拉稀
Is there a good anal leakage?
難道拉稀還能是好事嗎
Anyway, it was Bernie's idea to rebrand the stuff as a cure for constipation.
反正是妮妮的主意讓公司把這藥物當(dāng)成治便秘的藥物銷售
You know, from around the corner where fudge is made.
靠人家做巧克力軟糕(拉屎)賺錢(qián)
Hey, I got a favor to ask. Sure.
我有件事想請(qǐng)你幫忙， 說(shuō)吧
My mom's been kind of an emotional wreck since that dentist she was dating dumped her.
我媽被之前好上的那牙醫(yī)拋棄之后心情就落到了谷底， 郁郁寡歡
Dumped her? What, did he use a forklift? Sorry.
拋棄她， 得用叉車才能吧？對(duì)不起
There's nothing funny about morbid obesity.
不應(yīng)該取笑病態(tài)肥胖的人
She's huge. It was funny.
她肥爆了， 是很好笑啦
Anyway, I was just hoping that maybe you could check in on her tomorrow night and make sure she's doing okay.
我是希望呢你明晚能去她那里， 看看她確保以下她沒(méi)事
Dude, I'm a single man.
兄弟， 我可是黃金單身漢
Saturday night is my party night.
周六夜是我的狂歡夜呢
Really? What do you got going on?
是嗎， 你有什么安排
I don't know, maybe drive down to Hollywood, hit a few hot spots, see if I can get lucky.
不知道， 可能開(kāi)車去好萊塢那里去幾個(gè)泡妞圣地轉(zhuǎn)轉(zhuǎn)， 看有無(wú)妹子上鉤
Okay, tell me if this sounds familiar.
告訴我這個(gè)場(chǎng)景你是否似曾相識(shí)
You pay $15 to park, you stand on the sidewalk for an hour until you break down and give the bouncer20 bucks to let you in.
你花了15塊停車費(fèi)然后站在人行道一個(gè)小時(shí)猶豫直到你忍不住， 然后給了門(mén)衛(wèi)20塊門(mén)票費(fèi)， 讓你進(jìn)去
You push your way to the bar, where you drink an $18 cosmopolitan, then you stare at a pretty girl and imagine your perfect life together.
你努力擠到吧臺(tái)，喝杯18塊的大都會(huì)雞尾酒然后盯著一個(gè)美女在腦海中幻想你們一起的美好人生
Your children, grandchildren.
幻想你們的孩子， 孫子
Meanwhile, she leaves with a guy who claims he wrote Beverly Hills Chihuahua.
然后看著她被自稱是電影《比佛利拜金狗》編劇的男人給泡走
Then you give up on anyone ever loving you, go to Marie Callender's, buy a pie and eat it in your car in the parking lot.
然后你就自暴自棄跑去連鎖派店買(mǎi)了個(gè)派然后回到停車場(chǎng)， 在車上默默吃掉它
What time should I be at your mother's?I told her around 7:00.
我明天該幾點(diǎn)到你媽家來(lái)著?我跟她說(shuō)你晚上7點(diǎn)到
I swear, that man is the most egotistical, insufferable human being I have ever met.
我發(fā)誓， 那家伙是我這輩子見(jiàn)過(guò)最傲慢自大， 最難以忍受的人類
Yeah, but you two make such a cute couple. Like Burt and Ernie.
話是沒(méi)錯(cuò)， 但你們這對(duì)很有愛(ài)呢。就像伯特和厄尼（《芝麻街》的兩個(gè)木偶角色同住在一起， 雖然經(jīng)常吵架但又很快和好）
You guys even teach me stuff about words and numbers.
你們倆甚至還教我詞語(yǔ)和數(shù)字（《芝麻街》是美國(guó)家喻戶曉的兒童教育節(jié)目教授基礎(chǔ)閱讀算術(shù)，顏色的名稱，字母和數(shù)字等基本知識(shí)）
Well, I've had it. I am done.
我受夠了， 真的夠了
I can't... I can't live with him for one more minute.
我連跟他同住多一分鐘都忍不了
Where are you going to go?
那你打算去哪里住
I was thinking here with you. That a problem? No, not at all. No, it'sit's great. It's terrific. I...
來(lái)這里跟你住啊。有問(wèn)題嗎?沒(méi)有， 完全沒(méi)有。真沒(méi)， 這樣很好啊。簡(jiǎn)直太棒了
You know, I just can't help feel bad about Sheldon.
我只是忍不住替謝爾頓難過(guò)而已
I mean... how's he going to get by without you? Ernie.
我是覺(jué)得...他沒(méi)有你怎么活??？厄尼
He's got Amy now. Yeah, he does, but it's not the same. Why? Well, um, all right.
他現(xiàn)在有艾米了。的確， 但不一樣的啦。為什么？好吧， 這么說(shuō)吧
Youyou know how in Harry Potter and the HalfBlood Prince, Ron didn't abandon Harry just because Harry started dating Ron's sister?
在《哈利?波特與混血王子》（第六冊(cè)）中羅恩沒(méi)有因?yàn)楣?，跟自己妹妹戀?ài)而拋棄哈利啊
Harry and Ginny get together? Sorry. Spoiler alert.
哈利和金妮在一起了??？抱歉，劇透警告。
My point is, as much as I want to live with you, I can't do it knowing how much Sheldon needs you.
我的重點(diǎn)是， 盡管我很想跟你住在一起但謝爾頓需要你，我不能這么自私
Please, the only thing he needs me for is to be his whipping boy, his his stooge, his doormat.
拜托， 他唯一需要我的地方是當(dāng)他的替罪羔羊他的傀儡和出氣筒
Well, you know what they say: if it ain't broke...
人家不是都說(shuō)，"不要沒(méi)事找事嘛"（源自諺語(yǔ)"If it ain't broke, don't fix it"意思是不要隨便改變現(xiàn)狀，小心弄巧成拙）
It sounds to me like you don't want us to live together. No. No, no, I do. I do. It's just...
聽(tīng)起來(lái)似乎你不想咱倆住在一起。不， 不是， 我想。我當(dāng)然想， 只是...
I mean, it's a really big step. Is it? We're together all the time.
這可是很重要的一步。是嗎？我們總是在一起
Financially, it makes great sense.Can you think of one reason why we shouldn't do this?
錢(qián)方面來(lái)看，同住好處多多啊.你能想出一個(gè)我們不該住在一起的理由嗎
Well... um... I'm just a little thirsty. Yeah. I got nothing. Great. I'll go get my stuff. Good.
這個(gè)嘛...我突然有點(diǎn)口渴，喝吧。想不到。很好， 我去收拾東西。好
Okay, all right, don't freak out. You can make this work.
好吧， 別慌別慌。你能搞定這件事的
Oh, could you clear off a shelf for me in the bathroom?
你能幫我在浴室整理出一個(gè)架子放東西嗎
Oh, please let some of it be Xanax.
拜托一定要有抗焦慮的藥
I take a lot of medicine.
我每天要吃超多藥
Are you ready for dessert?
準(zhǔn)備好要吃甜點(diǎn)了嗎
No, thank you, Mrs. Wolowitz.
不了， 謝謝， 沃羅威茨太太
As it is, I'm going to have to carry my stomach out of here like I'm a fireman rescuing an infant.
老實(shí)說(shuō)， 我撐得都要抱著肚子走出去了就像消防員小心翼翼地救出嬰兒那樣
Oh, please. You're a tall glass of brown water. Have dessert. Well, II really couldn't.
拜托。你是個(gè)又高又瘦的帥阿三。吃了甜點(diǎn)再走吧。我真的吃不下了
But, uh, I've had a lovely time eating your brisket and hearing about the things you've had removed from your body over the years.
但我今晚過(guò)得很開(kāi)心， 邊吃你燉的牛胸肉邊聽(tīng)你說(shuō)你這些年從自己身上切除下來(lái)的各種東西
Didn't know you could have a cyst inside another cyst.
真不知道原來(lái)腫瘤里能長(zhǎng)出瘤中瘤
The doctor said they were like Russian nesting dolls.
醫(yī)生說(shuō)它們就像俄羅斯的套娃一樣
Well, if you have to go, how about I put a little doggie bag together for you?
如果你堅(jiān)持要走那我把東西打包到一起讓你帶走吧
That would be lovely. Thank you.
那真是太好了， 謝謝你
Mrs. Wolowitz, uh... how about I put a little doggie bag together for you? Don't mind me.
沃羅威茨太太你沒(méi)事吧。別理我
I just cry when I'm lonely and have nothing to live for.
我一覺(jué)得孤單沒(méi)什么活頭， 就會(huì)想哭
I, uh... I suppose I could stay for some dessert. Great.
要不...要不我吃完甜點(diǎn)再走吧，太好了
You like chocolate chip cheesecake? Sure.
你喜歡吃巧克力碎乳酪蛋糕嗎， 喜歡
I'll make one. One vintage Mr. Mxyzptlk action figure.
那我做一個(gè)。一個(gè)搗蛋先生古董模型玩偶（《超人漫畫(huà)》里面的角色來(lái)自其他宇宙，以戲弄超人為樂(lè)）
That's Leonard's. Children's toy.
萊納德的兒童玩具一把《星際迷航:下一代》里的相位槍
One Game of Thrones collector's edition Longclaw sword.
一把《權(quán)力的游戲》收藏版長(zhǎng)爪劍
Oh... Leonard and I bought that together.
萊納德和我一起買(mǎi)的
That's a bit of an ethical conundrum.
這是個(gè)倫理難題
Eh, I'll keep it. So, uh, what's your plan moving forward?
算了， 我留著吧。你接下來(lái)有什么計(jì)劃？
Uh, suppose I'll have to find and cultivate a new roommate.
估計(jì)我得找一個(gè)新室友， 然后教化他
What a task that will be.
這是一項(xiàng)多么艱巨的任務(wù)啊
Do you know how uncivilized Leonard was when I took him in? No.
你知道萊納德一開(kāi)始進(jìn)來(lái)住的時(shí)候多沒(méi)教養(yǎng)嗎？不知道
Oh, it took me forever to get him on a bathroom schedule.
廢了好大功夫， 才讓他有固定的如廁時(shí)間
He would just go whenever the mood struck him.
他以前只要感覺(jué)一來(lái)， 想去就去
Like a dogboy. Exactly.
就像小狗整天拉撒， 完全正確
What if you could find a roommate who was a scientist and already familiar and comfortable with your ways?
假設(shè)你能找到一個(gè)室友既是科學(xué)家同時(shí)熟悉并喜歡你的生活方式
That would be ideal.
那當(dāng)然最理想啦
If a person like that existed, I would sign on, no further questions asked. Great. Here I am! Wait.
如果真有那么一個(gè)人存在我會(huì)什么都不問(wèn)， 立馬簽協(xié)議。太好了， 那個(gè)人近在眼前。等等
Here who is where? Me. Aren't I your perfect roommate?
那個(gè)人是誰(shuí)，眼前是哪里？我啊。我難道不是最佳室友人選嗎
Think about it, Sheldon.
好好想想， 謝爾頓
I'm not a stranger, we're intellectually compatible, I'm willing to chauffeur you around town, and your personality quirks, and your personality quirks, I find cute as a button.
我既不是陌生人我們的智商又是同一等級(jí)我愿意開(kāi)車載你滿城轉(zhuǎn)還有你個(gè)性怪癖別人會(huì)覺(jué)得厭惡或煩人，而我卻覺(jué)得超級(jí)可愛(ài)
What do you think?
你覺(jué)得怎么樣
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