給你10個理由,讓你不要在乎別人對你的看法。想讓別人欣賞和接納自己,這是人的本性。我們安于現(xiàn)狀,因為身邊的人也這樣。
We tip-toe our way through life by doing things in order to please others. Eventually, our actions, appearances, and lives become molded by how we think other people perceive us. But the truth is, what others think about us can often adversely impact the choices we make and the things we do. This desire to conform to the wishes of others can seriously conflict with our ability to lead independent and rich lives.
為了讓別人喜歡我們,我們活得小心翼翼。最終,他人對我們的看法,塑造了我們的行為,我們的外貌,我們的生活。然而,其實,他人對我們的看法,往往會對我們的決定和我們做的事情產(chǎn)生負面影響。既想迎合他人,又想追求獨立幸福的生活,這兩者本來就是互相矛盾的。
Number 1 - Your life is your business. How many times have you pondered over questions like: How are these clothes going to make me look? What will my colleagues think if I speak out? Are those people talking shit behind my back? If I take this job, what will my friends and family think of me? Look, People are entitled to think whatever they want. Just as you are entitled to think whatever you want! What people think of you cannot change who you are or what you are worth, unless you allow them to. This is your life to live. At the end of the day, you are the only person who needs to approve of your own choices. Well, unless of course if you're married. That's a whole other topic!
第一,你的生活你做主。你是不是經(jīng)常在想,我穿這個衣服看起來怎樣?如果我說出自己的看法,同事們會怎么看我?那些人是不是在背后說我的壞話?如果我選擇了這份工作,朋友和家人會怎么看我?別人怎么想,是別人的自由。同理,你怎么想,是你的自由。只要你的立場堅定,那么,別人對你的看法就無法改變你,無法改變你的價值。這是你的生活,畢竟,真正需要認可你的選擇的人,只有你自己。但要是你結(jié)了婚,那就是另外一回事了。
Number 2 - They don't know what's best for you. It's important to recognize that another person's opinion is often based on what they would do. This alone is the problem. What is best for somebody else, may not be the best for you. Nobody will ever be as invested in your life as you. So only you know what is best for you, and that entails learning from your own choices. The only way you will ever truly learn is through making your own decisions and taking full responsibility for them. This way, if you do fail, at least you can learn from it wholeheartedly, as opposed to blaming somebody else.
第二,別人不知道什么才是對你最好的。很重要的一點是,你要明白,他人的想法,來源于他們的經(jīng)驗,這本身就是個問題,因為對別人而言最好的東西,對你而言不一定就是最好的。你為你的人生付出了最多的努力,所以你才知道什么是對你最好的,這就意味著你要從自己的選擇中吸取經(jīng)驗。你成長的唯一途徑,就是自己做決定,并為這些決定負責。這樣,就算你失敗了,起碼你能真正從失敗中學到經(jīng)驗,而不是去怪罪別人。
Number 3 - People's thoughts change. We all have an internal story that influences how we treat other people and what we think at any given moment. But, our thoughts, ideas and views change on a regular basis! This means, even if somebody does think badly of you at the moment, there is a good chance they will think differently in the near future. So basically, people's thoughts don't mean shit! And that's a pretty darn good reason to stop caring about what other people think!
第三,人們的想法會改變。我們?nèi)绾螌Υ?,我們有什么想法,這與我們過往的經(jīng)歷有關(guān)。但是,我們的想法經(jīng)常會改變。這意味著,如果某個人不太喜歡你,很有可能他以后會改變主意。所以,別人的想法根本不重要,你根本不需要在乎別人怎么想。
Number 4 - You will be much happier. You'll find that when you start focusing on your own needs, you'll be spending more time doing things that make you happy. This self-awareness will make you a more rounded individual. It will allow you to better manage your time and give you space to have fun. As a result, you will actually improve the way that people perceive you – and this of course will make you even happier.
第四,你會更加快樂。當你開始專注于自己的需求時,你會發(fā)現(xiàn),你會做更多可以讓自己開心的事情,這種自我意識讓你變得更成熟,讓你合理安排自己的實踐,讓你能夠適當放松娛樂。因此,別人對你的看法也會變得更積極,這會讓你更加快樂。
Number 5 - Your relationships will improve. Try putting yourself first, in more situations. This way, in relationships, you will have a much stronger base to explain what you will and won't do. The ability to set boundaries effectively will give you the ability to say no - and mean it. Instead of taking on every request, you'll only do the things that make you happy and this will give you more energy and a better reputation for being reliable. These things will make your relationships with other people much healthier in the long run.
第五,你的人際關(guān)系會改善。多嘗試把自己放在第一位,這樣,在人際關(guān)系中,你會有更多主動權(quán),你想做或不想做什么事,都是合理的。劃清邊界的能力會讓你能夠拒絕他人,而且說到做到。與其答應(yīng)別人所有的請求,還不如只做那些能讓你開心的事,這樣你會得到更多的能量,也會得到別人的稱贊,因為他們覺得你很靠譜。從長遠來看,這些事情會讓你的人際關(guān)系變得更健康。