英語美文朗讀 第458期 The most important skill in life

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1. YOU MUST ACCEPT IMPERFECTION AND FLAWS

1.你必須接受不完美和瑕疵

Many people believe that if they just collect a house, a spouse, a car, and 2.5 children, everything will be "perfect". Life has a checklist. Problems don't go away; they change and evolve. And the quicker we accept that the point of life is progress, and not perfection, the sooner we can all order a pizza and go home. Perfection is an idealization. It's something that is approached but never reached. Whatever your conception of "perfect" is in your pretty little head, it is in itself, an imperfect concept. There is no perfect. There is only what you wish in your head.

很多人相信，如果他們買了房子，找到了伴侶，有一輛車，生了幾個(gè)孩子，一切事情就會(huì)變得“完美”。生活有一個(gè)任務(wù)清單。問題不會(huì)消失;他們會(huì)改變，會(huì)進(jìn)化。我們越快得接受生活的重點(diǎn)不在于完美，而在于進(jìn)步，我們就能早點(diǎn)輕松地生活。完美是一個(gè)理想化的概念。這是我們可以不斷接近，但永遠(yuǎn)不會(huì)達(dá)成的事物。無論你腦袋里對(duì)于“完美”的概念是什么，它只存在于你的腦袋里，一個(gè)不完美的概念。世界上不存在完美。只有你腦海里對(duì)自己的期望。

We don't get to decide what perfection is. We don't know. All we can know is what is better or worse than what is now. And even then we're often wrong. When we let go of our concept of what is perfect and what "should" be, we relieve ourselves of the stress and frustration of living up to some arbitrary standard. And usually this standard isn't even ours! It's a standard we adopted from other people. Accepting imperfection is hard, because it forces us to accept that we have to live with things we don't like.

我們沒辦法決定什么是完美。因?yàn)槲覀儾恢?。我們只知道什么是比現(xiàn)在更好的或者更壞的。即使如此，我們的想法也經(jīng)常是錯(cuò)誤的。當(dāng)我們放下了我們對(duì)于“完美”的定義和生活“應(yīng)該”怎么過的想法，我們就把自己從要以一個(gè)主觀標(biāo)準(zhǔn)來生活的壓力和挫敗中解放出來。這個(gè)標(biāo)準(zhǔn)甚至不來源于我們自己!這個(gè)標(biāo)準(zhǔn)是我們從其他人那得來的。接受不完美是很艱難的，因?yàn)檫@迫使我們要去接受并適應(yīng)我們不喜歡的事情。

2. YOU MUST TAKE RESPONSIBILITY FOR YOUR PROBLEMS

2.你必須對(duì)自己的問題負(fù)起責(zé)任

Blaming the world for our problems is the easy way out. It's tempting and it can even be satisfying. We're the victims and we get to be all emo and indignant at all of the terrible injustices that have been inflicted upon us. We wallow in our imagined victimhood so as to make ourselves feel unique and special in ways we never got to feel unique and special anywhere else. But our problems are not unique. And in ourselves we are not all that special. The beauty of accepting the imperfection of your own knowledge is that you can no longer be certain that you're not to blame for your own problems.

將自己的問題歸咎于這個(gè)世界是一種輕松的方式。這很誘惑，甚至可以使你滿足。我們是受害者，我們可以對(duì)我們遭受的可怕的不公正的事情感到激憤。我們沉湎于自己幻想出的受迫害情景，好讓我們感受到一種不能從其他地方感受的感覺，我們是獨(dú)一無二的，是特別的。但我們的問題不是獨(dú)一無二的。并且我們也并不是那么特別。接受自身不完美的美好之處在于，你不再確定自己的問題不歸咎于自身。

Are you really late because of traffic? Or could you have left earlier? Is it really the incompetence of your manager that lost you your promotion? Or was there something more you could have done? The truth is usually somewhere around "both", - although it varies from situation to situation. But the point is that you can only fix your own imperfections and not the imperfections of others. So you may as well get to work on them. Blaming others for the problems in your life may give you a smidgen of short-term relief, but ultimately it implies something entirely insidious: that you are incapable of controlling your own fate. And that's the most depressing assumption of all to live with.

你真是是因?yàn)榻煌▎栴}而遲到嗎?還是你本可以早點(diǎn)出發(fā)?你沒有升職真的是因?yàn)榻?jīng)理的失職嗎?還是你自己本來能做更多的事得到升職?事情的真相可能是兩方面的原因都存在，-雖然這會(huì)因?yàn)榍闆r不同而不同。但重點(diǎn)在于你只能完善自己不完美的地方而不是別人的。所以你也許該開始行動(dòng)了。把自己生活的問題歸咎于其他人身上或許可以給你一點(diǎn)短暫的解脫，但這最終暗示了一些隱藏的問題：你無法掌控自己的命運(yùn)。而這是所有你可能要接受的事情中最令人沮喪的一個(gè)假設(shè)。

3. YOU MUST FEEL THE FEAR AND DO IT ANYWAY

3.你必須感受自己的恐懼，并無論如何也要做下去

Bravery is not the absence of fear. Bravery is feeling the fear, the doubt, the insecurity, and deciding that something else is more important. IF we identify with our moment-to-moment emotional states and sensitivities, our happiness will surge and crash like a deregulated Wall Street derivatives orgy. For those of you who don't know anything about Wall Street: that's really bad. We want sturdy, resilient happiness. Not derivatives orgies.

勇敢不是不害怕。勇敢是感知恐懼，懷疑，不安全感并認(rèn)為相比這些，其他的更為重要。如果我們感知我們每時(shí)每刻的敏感的情緒波動(dòng)，我們的幸福會(huì)像不受管制的華爾街衍生品*狂歡一樣激增或陡降。告知給那些不了解華爾街的人：這種情況非常糟糕。我們想要堅(jiān)定，堅(jiān)韌的幸福。而不是衍生品狂歡。

True, long-lasting, kid-tested-and-mother-approved happiness, is not derived from our immediate emotional states - being constantly greedy is not only impossible but it would be unbearably annoying - but rather is derived from the deeper values we define for ourselves. Our Ultimate Life Satisfaction is not defined by what we do and what happens to us, but why we do what we do and why it happens to us.

真實(shí)的，持久的，有保障的幸福并不來源于我們瞬間的感情狀態(tài) - 對(duì)幸福太貪心不僅不可能得到幸福，而且會(huì)承受無法忍受的厭煩 - 而來源于我們?yōu)樽约憾x的深層價(jià)值。我們根本的生活滿意度并不由我們做了什么和什么事情在我們身上發(fā)生決定，而是由為什么我們會(huì)做這些事和為什么這些事會(huì)在我們身上發(fā)生決定。

4. YOU MUST FIND A DEEPER PURPOSE TO YOUR ACTIONS

4.你必須找到你行動(dòng)的深層原因

A better way of saying this is you must choose what is motivating you. Is it something superficial and external or something deeper and more meaningful?

一個(gè)更好的說法是你必須選擇是什么在激勵(lì)你。是很膚淺和表面的動(dòng)機(jī)，還是一些更內(nèi)在，更有意義的動(dòng)機(jī)?

Being motivated by money for the sake of money leads to unstable emotional regulation and a lot of obnoxious and superficial behavior. Being motivated by money so that one can provide a good life for their family and children is a much sturdier foundation to work with. That deeper purpose will motivate one through the stress and fear and inevitable complications that a more superficial motivation would not.

單純?yōu)榱速嶅X而賺錢會(huì)導(dǎo)致不穩(wěn)定的情感控制和很多令人反感的，膚淺的行為。為了給家挺和孩子提供更好的生活而賺錢是一個(gè)更堅(jiān)定的基礎(chǔ)。這種更深層的目的可以激勵(lì)一個(gè)人跨越壓力，恐懼和不可避免的難題，但是一個(gè)膚淺的動(dòng)機(jī)不行。

Being motivated by the approval of others leads to needy and unattractive behavior. Being motivated by the approval of others because you're an artist and you would want to construct art that moves and inspires people in new and powerful ways is far more sustainable and noble. You'll be able to work through disapproval, embarrassments and the occasional disaster.

為了獲得他人的肯定而行動(dòng)會(huì)導(dǎo)致你做出討好性和令人討厭的行為。為了獲得他人的肯定，因?yàn)槟闶莻€(gè)藝術(shù)家，你希望創(chuàng)作出可以以一種新的，強(qiáng)有力的方式去感動(dòng)和啟發(fā)別人的藝術(shù)而獲得肯定是更持久和高尚的動(dòng)力。你可以跨越否定，窘迫和偶然的災(zāi)難。

How does one find their deeper purpose? Well, it's not easy. But then again, robust and resilient life-long happiness isn't easy either. But here's a hint: it is something to do with growth and contribution. Growth means finding a way to make yourself a better person. Contribution means finding a way to make other people better. Look for ways that can integrate those into your motivations.

人們?nèi)绾握业剿麄兏顚拥哪康?是的，這并不容易。但是話說回來，堅(jiān)定，堅(jiān)韌和一生的幸福也不是容易得到的。但這有一個(gè)提示：幸福是與成長和奉獻(xiàn)有關(guān)的。成長意味著是你變成一個(gè)更優(yōu)秀的人。奉獻(xiàn)意味著找到一種方式使別人更優(yōu)秀。想辦法把他們?nèi)诤线M(jìn)你的動(dòng)力。

There's nothing wrong with sex, money and rock and roll (hey, preaching to the choir here). But the sex needs to be motivated by something deeper than sex, the money needs to be motivated by a value more sustainable than simply money, and the rock and roll needs to just rock. Find a way to slide growth and/or contribution under them，and bam，you get the best of both worlds.

性，金錢和搖滾樂沒有任何錯(cuò)(嘿，我在這向合唱團(tuán)宣傳)。但是性需要有比性更深層的動(dòng)力去追求，賺錢需要因?yàn)楂@得比錢更長久的價(jià)值而去賺錢，而搖滾樂只需要搖滾。找到一種方式把成長和/或奉獻(xiàn)作為動(dòng)力的基礎(chǔ)，然后，嘭，你能得到更好的世界。

5. YOU MUST BE WILLING TO FAIL AND BE EMBARRASSED

5.你必須不害怕失敗和遭受窘迫

The beautiful thing about humanity is the diversity of life values. When you live out your values and let them motivate your actions and behaviors, you will inevitably clash with those whose values contradict your own. These people will not like you. They will leave nasty anonymous comments on the internet and make inappropriate remarks about your mother. Anything you do that's important will inevitably be accompanied by those who wish for you to fail. Not necessarily because they're bad people, but most likely because their values differ from yours.

人類的一個(gè)美好的地方在于價(jià)值觀的多樣性。當(dāng)你建立了你的價(jià)值觀，并讓之驅(qū)動(dòng)你的行動(dòng)時(shí)，你會(huì)不可避免和與和你秉持不同價(jià)值觀的人產(chǎn)生沖突。這些人會(huì)不喜歡你。他們會(huì)在網(wǎng)上留下惡劣的匿名評(píng)論并咒罵你的母親。你在做任何重要的事時(shí)，總會(huì)不可避免地有希望你失敗的人伴隨著你。并不一定是因?yàn)樗麄兪菈娜?，只是很大可能因?yàn)樗麄兊膬r(jià)值觀不同于你。

"Haters gonna hate."

“仇恨者只會(huì)仇恨。”

In any venture, failure is required to make progress. And progress, by definition, is what drives happiness - the progress of ourselves, the progress of others, the progress of our values and what we care about. Without failure there is no progress and without progress there is no happiness.

在任何冒險(xiǎn)里，失敗對(duì)于進(jìn)步是必要的。而進(jìn)步，按照定義來說，可以帶來幸福 - 我們自身的進(jìn)步，他人的進(jìn)步，我們價(jià)值觀的進(jìn)步和我們關(guān)心的東西的進(jìn)步。如果沒有失敗，就沒有進(jìn)步。而沒有進(jìn)步，就沒有幸福。

The most important skill in life is not how to avoid getting knocked down, but rather learning how to stand back up. Haters gonna hate.

生活中最重要的技能不是如何避免被打倒，而是學(xué)習(xí)如何站起來。仇恨者只會(huì)仇恨。

*Wall Street derivatives:華爾街衍生品，指金融衍生品。金融衍生品交易種類很多，最常見的三大品種為：股指期貨，利率期貨，匯率期貨以及相對(duì)應(yīng)的期權(quán)交易。