(雙語)月亮和六便士 第41章(5)
I do not know what there was in the way he told me this that extraordinarily suggested the violence of his desire. It was disconcerting and rather horrible. His life was strangely divorced from material things, and it was as though his body at times wreaked a fearful revenge on his spirit. The satyr in him suddenly took possession, and he was powerless in the grip of an instinct which had all the strength of the primitive forces of nature. It was an obsession so complete that there was no room in his soul for prudence or gratitude.
在他給我講這件事的語氣里，我不知道有一種什么東西，非常奇特地表示出他當時的強烈的欲望。它令人感到驚措不安，或者甚至可以說非?？植?。他平日的生活方式很奇特，根本不注意身體的需求。但是有些時候他的肉體卻好象要對他的精神進行一次可怕的報復。他內心深處的那個半人半獸的東西把他捉到手里，在這種具有大自然的原始力量的天性的掌心里他完全無能為力。他被牢牢地抓住，什么謹慎啊，感恩啊，在他的靈魂里都一點兒地位也沒有了。
"But why did you want to take her away with you?" I asked.
“但是你為什么要把她拐走呢？”我問。
"I didn't," he answered, frowning. "When she said she was coming I was nearly as surprised as Stroeve. I told her that when I'd had enough of her she'd have to go, and she said she'd risk that." He paused a little. "She had a wonderful body, and I wanted to paint a nude. When I'd finished my picture I took no more interest in her."
“我沒有，”他皺了皺眉頭說，“當她說她要跟著我的時候，我差不多同施特略夫一樣吃驚。我告訴她當我不再需要她的時候，她就非走開不可，她說她愿意冒這個險?！彼继乩锟颂m德停了一會。“她的身體非常美，我正需要畫一幅裸體畫。等我把畫畫完了以后，我對她也就沒有興趣了?！?/p>
"And she loved you with all her heart."
“她可是全心地愛著你啊?！?/p>
He sprang to his feet and walked up and down the small room.
他從座位上跳起來，在我的小屋子里走來走去。
"I don't want love. I haven't time for it. It's weakness. I am a man, and sometimes I want a woman. When I've satisfied my passion I'm ready for other things. I can't overcome my desire, but I hate it; it imprisons my spirit; I look forward to the time when I shall be free from all desire and can give myself without hindrance to my work. Because women can do nothing except love, they've given it a ridiculous importance. They want to persuade us that it's the whole of life. It's an insignificant part. I know lust. That's normal and healthy. Love is a disease. Women are the instruments of my pleasure; I have no patience with their claim to be helpmates, partners, companions."
“我不需要愛情。我沒有時間搞戀愛。這是人性的一個弱點。我是個男人，有時候我需要一個女性。但是一旦我的情欲得到了滿足，我就準備做別的事了。我無法克服自己的欲望，我恨它，它囚禁著我的精神。我希望將來能有一天，我會不再受欲望的支配，不再受任何阻礙地全心投到我的工作上去。因為女人除了談情說愛不會干別的，所以她們把愛情看得非常重要，簡直到了可笑的地步。她們還想說服我們，叫我們也相信人的全部生活就是愛情。實際上愛情是生活中無足輕重的一部分。我只懂得情欲。這是正常的，健康的。愛情是一種疾病。女人是我享樂的工具，我對她們提出什么事業(yè)的助手、生活的侶伴這些要求非常討厭?！?/p>
