I love my new phone! It's so cool and red.
我愛(ài)死新手機(jī)了!又酷又紅。
It feels like anything could happen! But it probably won't.
感覺(jué)充滿了無(wú)限可能呢!但應(yīng)該是不會(huì)啦。
My first call. What do I do? What do I do?
我的第一個(gè)電話。我該怎么做?該怎么接電話?
Oh. Hello? Oh, hey, girl, good for you. Bye. Chiandra's not pregnant.
你好?小妞,恭喜你啊。再見(jiàn)。西安卓沒(méi)懷孕。
Max, why are you taking calls from Chiandra? We have to do my video.
麥克斯,你為什么在接西安卓的電話?你應(yīng)該來(lái)拍我的視頻啊。
I had to take her call. She gave me a bunch of free apps. Angry birds, Doodle Jump.
我必須得接她電話。她送了我好多免費(fèi)軟件。"憤怒小鳥(niǎo)","涂鴉跳躍"。
If you want to look like a dog, I could do that.
如果你想看起來(lái)像只狗,也能弄哦。
Look, here's me as a St. Bernard. See my neck keg?
你看,這是圣伯納犬版的我。看到我脖子上的酒桶了嗎?
Okay, I've done some research, and here's some things other people want money for.
我研究了下,這些是別人想網(wǎng)上募款弄的東西。
One woman wants money for a new leg. Scrolling.
一個(gè)女人想募款弄一條新假腿。頁(yè)面往下。
Wait. If she only has one leg, shouldn't she be on can't-Kickstarter?
等等。如果她只有一條腿,她應(yīng)該上"不能開(kāi)踢網(wǎng)"吧?
Oh, I'm no longer working with them. They denied my project.
它們跟我中止合作了。它們拒絕了我的計(jì)劃。
Apparently, I'm not artsy enough and have too many legs. So now I'm on Go Fund Yourself.
它們說(shuō)我不夠有藝術(shù)感,而且還有太多條腿。所以我上了"為己投資網(wǎng)"。
Oh, perfect. I've been telling you to go fund yourself for years.
正好。我也叫你去死好久了。
The future of my pants hinges on the video pitch. The tone needs to be sad and pathetic.
我新褲子的未來(lái)就靠這個(gè)視頻了。氣氛語(yǔ)氣一定要又可憐又凄慘。
Uh, preparation done. What's sadder than former billionaire Caroline Channing asking for money for pants?
那你已經(jīng)不用練習(xí)了。還有什么比前億萬(wàn)富翁卡洛琳·錢(qián)寧上網(wǎng)求人給錢(qián)買(mǎi)褲子還慘?
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