演講MP3+雙語文稿:女性憤怒的力量

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【演講者及介紹】Soraya Chemaly，

Soraya Chemaly，獲獎(jiǎng)記者、散文家和作家，作品經(jīng)常出現(xiàn)在國內(nèi)和國際媒體上。

在她的寫作中，她投射出一種明亮、尖銳的光，投射到關(guān)于女人在男人建立的世界里意味著什么的問題上。她的敘事技巧，細(xì)致的研究和充滿幽默的分析是“無情的和啟示性的”。

【演講主題】女性憤怒的力量

【中英文字幕】

翻譯者 Cissy Yun校對者 TED Translators Admin

00:13

So sometimes I get angry, and it took memany years to be able to say just those words. In my work, sometimes my bodythrums, I'm so enraged. But no matter how justified my anger has been,throughout my life, I've always been led to understand that my anger is anexaggeration, a misrepresentation, that it will make me rude and unlikable.Mainly as a girl, I learned, as a girl, that anger is an emotion better leftentirely unvoiced.

所以有時(shí)我會(huì)生氣，我花了很多年才能夠說出這句話。在我的工作中，有時(shí)我的身體顫抖，我太憤怒了。但是，無論我的憤怒是多么合理，在我的一生中，我一直被告知我的憤怒是一種夸張，一種曲解，它會(huì)讓我變得粗魯和不可理喻。主要是作為一個(gè)女孩，我了解到，作為一個(gè)女孩，憤怒是一種最好將它置之不顧的情感。

00:52

Think about my mother for a minute. When Iwas 15, I came home from school one day, and she was standing on a long verandaoutside of our kitchen, holding a giant stack of plates. Imagine howdumbfounded I was when she started to throw them like Frisbees...

想想我的媽媽，我15歲的時(shí)候，有一天我放學(xué)回家，她站在在我們廚房外廊上，拿著巨大的一堆盤子。想象一下，當(dāng)她開始把它們像飛盤一樣扔出去……

01:08

(Laughter)

（笑聲）

01:10

into the hot, humid air. When every singleplate had shattered into thousands of pieces on the hill below, she walked backin and she said to me, cheerfully, "How was your day?"

扔進(jìn)炎熱潮濕的空氣中，我是多么傻眼。當(dāng)每一個(gè)盤子砸在下面的山上，碎成數(shù)千塊時(shí)，她回到房里，樂呵呵地對我說，“你今天過得怎么樣？”

01:22

(Laughter)

01:26

Now you can see how a child would look atan incident like this and think that anger is silent, isolating, destructive,even frightening. Especially though when the person who's angry is a girl or awoman. The question is why.

現(xiàn)在你可以想象一個(gè)孩子在面對這樣的事件時(shí)，認(rèn)為憤怒是沉默的，孤立的，破壞性的，甚至是可怕的。特別是當(dāng)一個(gè)女孩或女人生氣時(shí)。問題是為什么。

01:46

Anger is a human emotion, neither good norbad. It is actually a signal emotion. It warns us of indignity, threat, insultand harm. And yet, in culture after culture, anger is reserved as the moralproperty of boys and men. Now, to be sure, there are differences. So in theUnited States, for example, an angry black man is viewed as a criminal, but anangry white man has civic virtue. Regardless of where we are, however, theemotion is gendered. And so we teach children to disdain anger in girls and women,and we grow up to be adults that penalize it.

憤怒是人類的情感，它既不好也不壞。它實(shí)際上是一種信號情感。它警示著我們屈辱、威脅、侮辱和傷害。然而，在各種文化中，憤怒僅僅被歸于為男孩和男人的道德財(cái)產(chǎn)?，F(xiàn)在，當(dāng)然，會(huì)有差異。例如，在美國，一個(gè)憤怒的黑人被視為罪犯，而一個(gè)憤怒的白人則具有公民美德。無論我們在哪里，情感有是性別的。因此，我們教孩子蔑視女孩和婦女的憤怒，我們長大成人后又懲罰這種憤怒。

02:30

So what if we didn't do that? What if wedidn't sever anger from femininity? Because severing anger from femininitymeans we sever girls and women from the emotion that best protects us frominjustice. What if instead we thought about developing emotional competence forboys and girls? The fact is we still remarkably socialize children in verybinary and oppositional ways. Boys are held to absurd, rigid norms ofmasculinity -- told to renounce the feminine emotionality of sadness or fearand to embrace aggression and anger as markers of real manhood. On the otherhand, girls learn to be deferential, and anger is incompatible with deference.In the same way that we learned to cross our legs and tame our hair, we learnedto bite our tongues and swallow our pride. What happens too often is that forall of us, indignity becomes imminent in our notions of femininity.

那如果我們不那么做呢？如果我們不割裂憤怒與女性氣質(zhì)？因?yàn)閷嵟瓘呐詺赓|(zhì)中去除，意味著我們切斷女孩和婦女與最能保護(hù)她們免受不公正的情感。如果相反，我們考慮培養(yǎng)男孩和女孩的情感能力，如何？事實(shí)是，我們?nèi)匀灰苑浅６拖鄬Φ姆绞阶寖和煌?。男孩們被要求具有荒謬、僵硬的男子氣概，去除悲傷或恐懼這些所謂的女性情感，并抱侵略性和憤怒，這被看作是男子漢的標(biāo)志。在另一方面，女孩學(xué)會(huì)要畢恭畢敬，但憤怒與恭敬并不兼容。以同樣的方式，我們學(xué)會(huì)了交叉腿而坐并馴服我們的頭發(fā)，我們學(xué)會(huì)了咬住舌頭保持沉默，吞下我們的驕傲。經(jīng)常發(fā)生的是，對我們所有人來說，我們認(rèn)知的女性觀念中，無禮侮辱變得迫在眉睫。

03:37

There's a long personal and political taleto that bifurcation. In anger, we go from being spoiled princesses and hormonalteens, to high maintenance women and shrill, ugly nags. We have flavors,though; pick your flavor. Are you a spicy hot Latina when you're mad? Or a sadAsian girl? An angry black woman? Or a crazy white one? You can pick. But infact, the effect is that when we say what's important to us, which is whatanger is conveying, people are more likely to get angry at us for being angry.Whether we're at home or in school or at work or in a political arena, angerconfirms masculinity, and it confounds femininity. So men are rewarded fordisplaying it, and women are penalized for doing the same.

這一分歧有著漫長的個(gè)人和政治故事。當(dāng)憤怒時(shí)，我們可以是寵壞的公主和荷爾蒙爆發(fā)的青少年，也可以是難伺候的婦女，刺耳，丑陋的嘮叨狂。我們也有口味，請?zhí)暨x你的口味。當(dāng)你生氣時(shí)，你是熱辣拉丁女郎？悲傷亞洲女孩？憤怒黑人女人？瘋狂白人婦女？你可以挑選。但事實(shí)上, 當(dāng)我們在表達(dá)對我們很重要的事時(shí)，通過憤怒傳達(dá)時(shí)，人們更有可能對我們的憤怒感到生氣。無論我們是在家里、在學(xué)校、在工作中還是在政治舞臺上，憤怒證實(shí)了男子氣概，卻混淆了女性氣質(zhì)。所以，男人會(huì)因?yàn)檎故舅玫交貓?bào)，而女人也會(huì)因?yàn)樗艿綉土P。

04:36

This puts us at an enormous disadvantage,particularly when we have to defend ourselves and our own interests. If we'refaced with a threatening street harasser, predatory employer, a sexist, racistclassmate, our brains are screaming, "Are you kidding me?" And ourmouths say, "I'm sorry, what?"

這使我們處于巨大的不利之中，特別是當(dāng)我們必須捍衛(wèi)自己和自身利益的時(shí)候。如果我們面對有威脅性的街頭騷擾者或是強(qiáng)取豪奪的雇主，或是一個(gè)有性別歧視、種族主義的同學(xué)，我們的大腦尖叫，“你逗我啊？”而我們的嘴卻說，“對不起，什么？”

04:58

(Laughter)

（笑聲）

05:01

Right? And it's conflicting because the angergets all tangled up with the anxiety and the fear and the risk and retaliation.If you ask women what they fear the most in response to their anger, they don'tsay violence. They say mockery. Think about what that means. If you havemultiple marginalized identities, it's not just mockery. If you defendyourself, if you put a stake in the ground, there can be dire consequences.

對吧？這是相互矛盾的，因?yàn)閼嵟c焦慮、恐懼、風(fēng)險(xiǎn)和報(bào)復(fù)糾纏在一起。如果問女性，她們最害怕別人如何回應(yīng)她們的憤怒，她們不會(huì)說暴力。而是嘲弄。想想這意味著什么。如果你有多個(gè)被邊緣化的身份，如果你為自己辯護(hù)，受到的就不僅僅是嘲弄。如果你認(rèn)真對待這些，可能會(huì)有可怕的后果。

05:32

Now we reproduce these patterns not in big,bold and blunt ways, but in the everyday banality of life. When my daughter wasin preschool, every single morning she built an elaborate castle -- ribbons andblocks -- and every single morning the same boy knocked it down gleefully. Hisparents were there, but they never intervened before the fact. They were happyto provide platitudes afterwards: "Boys will be boys." "It's sotempting, he just couldn't help himself." I did what many girls and womenlearn to do. I preemptively kept the peace, and I taught my daughter to do thesame thing. She used her words. She tried to gently body block him. She movedwhere she was building in the classroom, to no effect. So I and the otheradults mutually constructed a particular male entitlement. He could run rampantand control the environment, and she kept her feelings to herself and workedaround his needs. We failed both of them by not giving her anger the uptake andresolution that it deserved. Now that's a microcosm of a much bigger problem.Because culturally, worldwide, we preference the performance of masculinity --and the power and privilege that come with that performance -- over the rightsand needs and words of children and women.

現(xiàn)在我們一直再現(xiàn)這些情況，雖不是生硬直白地展現(xiàn)，而是在于日常的平庸生活。當(dāng)我的女兒在幼兒園時(shí)，每天早上她會(huì)搭一個(gè)精致的城堡，用絲帶和積木。每天早晨，同一個(gè)男孩會(huì)興高采烈地把它撞倒。他的父母在那里，但他們從來沒有在事前干預(yù)過。但他們很樂意在事后提供陳詞濫調(diào)。“男孩總歸是男孩。”“這如此誘人，他只是忍不住而已。”我做了很多女孩和婦女學(xué)會(huì)做的。我先發(fā)制人維持了和平，我教我的女兒做同樣的事情。她用她的話語阻止他。她試圖輕輕地?fù)踝∷?。她把城堡搬到了教室里其它地方，沒有影響他人。所以我和其他成年人共同構(gòu)建了一個(gè)特定的男性權(quán)利。他可以肆無忌憚地運(yùn)行、控制環(huán)境，而她把自己的感情藏在心里，并努力解決他的需求。我們沒為她的憤怒提供應(yīng)有的理解和決心，這讓他們兩方都失望了。現(xiàn)在，這是一個(gè)巨大問題的縮影，因?yàn)樵谖幕希澜缟?，我們更喜歡男性的表現(xiàn)，以及伴隨這種表現(xiàn)而來的力量和特權(quán)，而不是兒童和女性的權(quán)利、需要以及訴求。

07:09

So it will come as absolutely no surprise,probably, to the people in this room that women report being angrier in moresustained ways and with more intensity than men do. Some of that comes from thefact that we're socialized to ruminate, to keep it to ourselves and mull itover. But we also have to find socially palatable ways to express the intensityof emotion that we have and the awareness that it brings of our precarity. Sowe do several things. If men knew how often women were filled with white hotrage when we cried, they would be staggered.

因此，對于在座的人來說，報(bào)告說女性比男性更持久、更強(qiáng)烈地憤怒，這是絕對不足為奇的。其中的一些原因是，我們被社會(huì)化了，會(huì)反復(fù)思考，將它藏于心中并自己思考。但我們也必須找到社會(huì)可接受的方法，來表達(dá)我們的強(qiáng)烈情感和意識到它給我們帶來的不穩(wěn)定。所以我們做了幾件事。如果男人知道當(dāng)女人哭的時(shí)候，我們是充滿了多么熾熱的憤怒，他們就會(huì)非常吃驚。

07:50

(Laughter)

（笑聲）

07:51

We use minimizing language. "We'refrustrated. No, really, it's OK."

我們使用最小化的語言?！拔覀冎皇歉械骄趩?，不，真的，沒關(guān)系?！?/p>

07:56

(Laughter)

（笑聲）

07:58

We self-objectify and lose the ability toeven recognize the physiological changes that indicate anger. Mainly, though,we get sick. Anger has now been implicated in a whole array of illnesses thatare casually dismissed as "women's illnesses." Higher rates ofchronic pain, autoimmune disorders, disordered eating, mental distress,anxiety, self harm, depression. Anger affects our immune systems, ourcardiovascular systems. Some studies even indicate that it affects mortalityrates, particularly in black women with cancer.

我們自我客觀化，失去能力去認(rèn)清表明憤怒的生理變化。但大多情況下，我們會(huì)生病?，F(xiàn)在，憤怒與一整套疾病有關(guān)，這些疾病隨便被視為“婦女疾病”。慢性疼痛，自身免疫性疾病，飲食紊亂，精神痛苦，焦慮，自我傷害，抑郁癥的比率較高。憤怒影響我們的免疫系統(tǒng)和心血管系統(tǒng)。一些研究甚至表明，它影響到死亡率，尤其是黑人患癌癥的婦女。

08:42

I am sick and tired of the women I knowbeing sick and tired. Our anger brings great discomfort, and the conflict comesbecause it's our role to bring comfort. There is anger that's acceptable. Wecan be angry when we stay in our lanes and buttress the status quo. As mothersor teachers, we can be mad, but we can't be angry about the tremendous costs ofnurturing. We can be angry at our mothers. Let's say, as teenagers --patriarchal rules and regulations -- we don't blame systems, we blame them. Wecan be angry at other women, because who doesn't love a good catfight? And wecan be angry at men with lower status in an expressive hierarchy that supportsracism or xenophobia. But we have an enormous power in this. Because feelingsare the purview of our authority, and people are uncomfortable with our anger.We should be making people comfortable with the discomfort they feel when womensay no, unapologetically. We can take emotions and think in terms of competenceand not gender. People who are able to process their anger and make meaningfrom it are more creative, more optimistic, they have more intimacy, they'rebetter problem solvers, they have greater political efficacy.

我厭倦了我認(rèn)識的女性所受疾病與疲憊的困擾。我們的憤怒帶來了極大的不適，而這其中的沖突就在于我們的作用常常是給別人帶來安慰。有憤怒是可以接受的。當(dāng)我們在自己的界限中作為母親或老師的時(shí)候，我們可以生氣。我們可以生氣，但我們不能對養(yǎng)育生命的巨大代價(jià)感到憤怒。我們可以對我們的母親生氣。比方說，作為青少年，父權(quán)規(guī)則和條例，我們不怪系統(tǒng)。我們責(zé)怪她們。我們可以對別的女人生氣，因?yàn)檎l不愛好勾心斗呢？我們可以對那些在種族歧視、仇外主義的社會(huì)中處于社會(huì)底層的男性泄憤。但是，我們有巨大的力量。因?yàn)楦星槭俏覀兛梢钥刂频姆秶?，人們對我們的憤怒感到不適，有人聽到女人毫無歉意地說不會(huì)感到不適，我們應(yīng)該讓他們感到舒服。我們可以以能力而非性別來看待情感和思考。能夠處理憤怒并從中找到意義的人更有創(chuàng)意，更樂觀，會(huì)與人更親密，更能解決問題，更有政治效力。

10:17

Now I am a woman writing about women andfeelings, so very few men with power are going to take what I'm sayingseriously, as a matter of politics. We think of politics and anger in terms ofthe contempt and disdain and fury that are feeding a rise of macho-fascism inthe world. But if it's that poison, it's also the antidote. We have an anger ofhope, and we see it every single day in the resistant anger of women andmarginalized people. It's related to compassion and empathy and love, and weshould recognize that anger as well.

我是一個(gè)女人，我書寫女性和感情，所以很少有權(quán)力的男人會(huì)認(rèn)真對待我說的話，將它作為一個(gè)政治問題。我們認(rèn)為政治和憤怒就是輕蔑，蔑視和憤怒這些正在助長世界各地的大男子主義和法西斯主義。但是，如果它是毒藥，它也是解毒劑。我們有著懷著希望的憤怒，我們每天都在婦女和邊緣化人民的抗拒中看到這種憤怒。它與同情心、同理心和愛相連，我們也應(yīng)該認(rèn)識到這種憤怒。

11:00

The issue is that societies that don'trespect women's anger don't respect women. The real danger of our anger isn'tthat it will break bonds or plates. It's that it exactly shows how seriously wetake ourselves, and we expect other people to take us seriously as well. Whenthat happens, chances are very good that women will be able to smile when theywant to.

問題在于不尊重女性憤怒的社會(huì)同樣不尊重女性。我們憤怒的真正危險(xiǎn)不是它會(huì)破壞紐帶或盤子。它恰恰表明了我們是多么認(rèn)真地對待自己，我們期望其他人也認(rèn)真對待我們。當(dāng)發(fā)生這種情況時(shí)，女性很有可能可以在她們愿意的時(shí)候微笑。

11:33

(Applause)

（掌聲）

11:35

Thank you.

謝謝你們。

11:36

(Applause) (Cheers)

（掌聲）（歡呼）