雙語(yǔ)·面紗 第五十五章

55

But a day or two later Kitty made an unforeseen discovery.

She went to the convent as usual and set about her first work of seeing that the children were washed and dressed. Since the nuns held firmly that the night air was harmful, the atmosphere in the dormitory was close and fetid. After the freshness of the morning it always made Kitty a little uncomfortable and she hastened to open such windows as would. But to-day she felt all of a sudden desperately sick and with her head swimming she stood at the window trying to compose herself. It had never been as bad as this before. Then nausea overwhelmed her and she vomited. She gave a cry so that the children were frightened, and the older girl who was helping her ran up and, seeing Kitty white and trembling, stopped short with an exclamation. Cholera! The thought flashed through Kitty's mind and then a deathlike feeling came over her; she was seized with terror, she struggled for a moment against the night that seemed agonisingly to run through her veins; she felt horribly ill; and then darkness.

When she opened her eyes she did not at first know where she was. She seemed to be lying on the floor and, moving her head slightly, she thought that there was a pillow under it. She could not remember. The Mother Superior was kneeling by her side, holding smelling salts to her nose, and Sister St. Joseph was looking at her. Then it came back. Cholera! She saw the consternation on the nuns' faces. Sister St. Joseph looked huge and her outline was blurred. Once more terror overwhelmed her.

“Oh, Mother, Mother,” she sobbed. “Am I going to die? I don't want to die.”

“Of course you're not going to die,” said the Mother Superior.

She was quite composed and there was even amusement in her eyes.

“But it's cholera. Where's Walter? Has he been sent for? Oh, Mother, Mother.”

She burst into a flood of tears. The Mother Superior gave her hand and Kitty seized it as though it were a hold upon the life she feared to lose.

“Come, come, my dear child, you mustn't be so silly. It's not cholera or anything of the kind.”

“Where's Walter?”

“Your husband is much too busy to be troubled. In five minutes you'll be perfectly well.”

Kitty looked at her with staring, harassed eyes. Why did she take it so calmly? It was cruel.

“Keep perfectly quiet for a minute,” said the Mother Superior.“There is nothing to alarm yourself about.”

Kitty felt her heart beat madly. She had grown so used to the thought of cholera that it had ceased to seem possible that she could catch it. Oh, the fool she had been! She knew she was going to die. She was frightened. The girls brought in a long rattan chair and placed it by the window.

“Come, let us lift you,” said the Mother Superior. “You will be more comfortable on the chaise longue. Do you think you can stand?”

She put her hands under Kitty's arms and Sister St. Joseph helped her to her feet. She sank exhausted into the chair.

“I had better shut the window,” said Sister St. Joseph. “The early morning air cannot be good for her.”

“No, no,” said Kitty. “Please leave it open.”

It gave her confidence to see the blue sky. She was shaken, but certainly she began to feel better. The two nuns looked at her for a moment in silence, and Sister St. Joseph said something to the Mother Superior which she could not understand. Then the Mother Superior sat on the side of the chair and took her hand.

“Listen, ma chère enfant…”

She asked her one or two questions. Kitty answered them without knowing what they meant. Her lips were trembling so that she could hardly frame the words.

“There is no doubt about it,” said Sister St. Joseph. “I am not one to be deceived in such a matter.”

She gave a little laugh in which Kitty seemed to discern a certain excitement and not a little affection. The Mother Superior, still holding Kitty's hand, smiled with soft tenderness.

“Sister St. Joseph has more experience of these things than I have, dear child, and she said at once what was the matter with you. She was evidently quite right.”

“What do you mean?” asked Kitty anxiously.

“It is quite evident. Did the possibility of such a thing never occur to you? You are with child, my dear.”

The start that Kitty gave shook her from head to foot, and she put her feet to the ground as though to spring up.

“Lie still, lie still,” said the Mother Superior.

Kitty felt herself blush furiously and she put her hands to her breasts.

“It's impossible. It isn't true.”

“Qu'est-ce qu'elle dit?” asked Sister St. Joseph.

The Mother Superior translated. Sister St. Joseph's broad simple face, with its red cheeks, was beaming.

“No mistakes is possible. I give you my word of honor.”

“How long have you been married, my child?” asked the Mother Superior. “Why, when my sister-in-law had been married as long as you she had already two babies.”

Kitty sank back into the chair. There was death in her heart.

“I'm so ashamed,” she whispered.

“Because you are going to have a baby? Why, what can be more natural?”

“Quelle joie pour le docteur,” said Sister St. Joseph.

“Yes, think what a happiness for your husband. He will be overwhelmed with joy. You have only to see him with babies, and the look on his face when he plays with them, to see how enchanted he will be to have one of his own.”

For a little while Kitty was silent. The two nuns looked at her with tender interest and the Mother Superior stroked her hand.

“It was silly of me not to have suspected it before,” said Kitty.“At all events I'm glad it's not cholera. I feel very much better. I will get back to my work.”

“Not to-day, my dear child. You have had a shock, you had much better go home and rest yourself.”

“No, no, I would much rather stay and work.”

“I insist. What would our good doctor say if I let you be imprudent? Come to-morrow, if you like, or the day after, but to-day you must be quiet. I will send for a chair. Would you like me to let one of our young girls go with you?”

“Oh, no, I shall be all right alone.”

第五十五章

然而，過(guò)了一兩天以后，凱蒂有了一個(gè)意想不到的發(fā)現(xiàn)。

她像往常一樣來(lái)到修道院，著手她的第一項(xiàng)工作，看看孩子們是否已經(jīng)洗漱完畢，穿好了衣服。因?yàn)樾夼畟兒V信晚上的空氣是有害的，所以宿舍里的環(huán)境是封閉的，空氣污濁。雖然早上有新鮮空氣進(jìn)來(lái)，但總是讓凱蒂有些不舒服，每次她都盡可能迅速地把窗子打開(kāi)通風(fēng)。可今天，她突然覺(jué)得特別惡心，頭也暈乎乎的，她站在窗戶旁邊，想使自己安定下來(lái)，以前從來(lái)沒(méi)有這么難受過(guò)。過(guò)了一會(huì)兒，她終于控制不住惡心，開(kāi)始嘔吐起來(lái)。她的大聲嘔吐把孩子們嚇壞了。那個(gè)年齡大一點(diǎn)兒、給凱蒂做小助手的女孩跑過(guò)來(lái)，看見(jiàn)凱蒂臉色煞白，全身顫抖，她停了下來(lái)大聲叫人過(guò)來(lái)幫忙?；魜y！凱蒂的腦海一下子閃過(guò)這個(gè)念頭，隨后像被死神扼住的感覺(jué)傳遍全身，她被嚇壞了，掙扎了一會(huì)兒，痛苦地抵抗著在她血管中蔓延的黑夜，她覺(jué)得自己病得很厲害，然后眼前一黑，就什么都不知道了。

當(dāng)睜開(kāi)眼睛的時(shí)候，她一開(kāi)始不知道自己在什么地方。慢慢地她感覺(jué)到自己好像躺在地板上，移動(dòng)了一下頭，感覺(jué)好像有個(gè)枕頭在頭下。她記不清剛才發(fā)生了什么事情。院長(zhǎng)嬤嬤正跪在她身邊，手里拿著一塊嗅鹽放到她的鼻子下，圣約瑟夫修女站在旁邊注視著她。凱蒂猛地又想起來(lái)了，霍亂！她看到了修女們臉上的驚愕表情，圣約瑟夫修女看上去身形巨大，但輪廓并不清楚?？植涝僖淮瓮虥](méi)了她。

“哦，嬤嬤，嬤嬤。”她抽泣道，“我快要死了嗎？我不想死?！?/p>

“你當(dāng)然不會(huì)死?！痹洪L(zhǎng)嬤嬤安慰道。

她很鎮(zhèn)定，甚至眼睛里能夠看出有種覺(jué)得好笑的神色。

“但是，我染上了霍亂。沃爾特在哪兒？有人去找他嗎？哦，嬤嬤，嬤嬤?！?/p>

她放聲大哭了起來(lái)，院長(zhǎng)嬤嬤把手伸給她，凱蒂一把抓住了它，好像它能拉住她害怕失去的生命一樣。

“好了，好了，我親愛(ài)的孩子，你別犯傻了。不會(huì)是霍亂或者別的什么傳染病的?！?/p>

“沃爾特在哪兒？”

“你丈夫太忙了，不能受到干擾。過(guò)五分鐘你就會(huì)完全沒(méi)事了?！?/p>

凱蒂用疲憊的眼神目不轉(zhuǎn)睛地看著她，為什么她那么平靜？這也太殘忍了。

“徹底保持安靜一會(huì)兒?！痹洪L(zhǎng)嬤嬤說(shuō)道，“根本沒(méi)事，你別自己嚇唬自己?！?/p>

凱蒂覺(jué)得她的心猛烈地跳著，她已經(jīng)習(xí)慣認(rèn)為自己是不可能染上霍亂的，哦，她真是個(gè)傻瓜！她知道自己快要死了，很害怕。這時(shí)，姑娘們搬來(lái)一把長(zhǎng)藤椅，把它放在了窗戶邊上。

“來(lái)吧，讓我們把你抬上去?！痹洪L(zhǎng)嬤嬤說(shuō)道，“在這把椅子上休息會(huì)兒，你會(huì)更舒服點(diǎn)兒。你覺(jué)得自己能站起來(lái)嗎？”

她把手放到凱蒂的胳膊下，而圣約瑟夫修女幫著抬腿，凱蒂筋疲力盡地躺到了椅子上。

“我最好把窗戶關(guān)上。”圣約瑟夫修女說(shuō)道，“早上的空氣涼，恐怕對(duì)她不好?！?/p>

“不，不。”凱蒂說(shuō)道，“請(qǐng)讓它開(kāi)著?！?/p>

看到藍(lán)天，她恢復(fù)了信心，雖然身子還在哆嗦，但顯然開(kāi)始覺(jué)得好多了。兩位修女安靜地看了她一會(huì)兒，隨后，圣約瑟夫修女說(shuō)了一些她沒(méi)聽(tīng)明白的話。院長(zhǎng)嬤嬤坐在椅子邊上，拿起了她的一只手。

“聽(tīng)我說(shuō)，親愛(ài)的孩子……”

她問(wèn)了凱蒂一兩個(gè)問(wèn)題，凱蒂告訴了她，但不知道她的用意。她的嘴唇顫抖著，幾乎話不成句。

“一點(diǎn)兒也不用懷疑了。”圣約瑟夫修女說(shuō)道，“在這種事上，我可不是容易被騙的人?！?/p>

她笑了一下，笑聲中凱蒂似乎能分辨出是某種激動(dòng)和慈愛(ài)。院長(zhǎng)嬤嬤仍然握著凱蒂的手，微笑中透著關(guān)心和柔情。

“圣約瑟夫修女比我在這方面有更多的經(jīng)驗(yàn)，親愛(ài)的孩子，她立刻判斷出了你出了什么狀況，很顯然，她是對(duì)的?！?/p>

“您是什么意思？”凱蒂焦急地問(wèn)道。

“事情明擺著，你從來(lái)沒(méi)想過(guò)這種可能嗎？你懷孕了，我親愛(ài)的?！?/p>

聽(tīng)到這話，凱蒂全身一震，一股寒氣從頭穿過(guò)了腳底。她把腳一下子放到了地上，好像要從椅子上蹦起來(lái)。

“躺好，躺好?！痹洪L(zhǎng)嬤嬤說(shuō)道。

凱蒂覺(jué)得自己的臉紅得發(fā)燙，把雙手放到了胸口。

“這不可能，這不是真的。”

“她說(shuō)什么呢？”圣約瑟夫修女問(wèn)道。

院長(zhǎng)嬤嬤給她翻譯了一下。圣約瑟夫修女純樸、紅撲撲的臉蛋都開(kāi)始放光了。

“不可能有錯(cuò)，我敢發(fā)誓?！?/p>

“你結(jié)婚多久了，我的孩子？”院長(zhǎng)嬤嬤問(wèn)道，“為什么你不要孩子，我弟媳婦結(jié)婚時(shí)間跟你差不多，可她已經(jīng)是兩個(gè)孩子的媽媽了?！?/p>

凱蒂又躺倒在藤椅上，心里有了個(gè)死結(jié)。

“我感到很羞愧。”她小聲說(shuō)道。

“就因?yàn)槟憧煲幸粋€(gè)寶貝了？為什么，這不是再自然不過(guò)的事嗎？”

“要是沃爾特醫(yī)生知道了該有多高興呀?！笔ゼs瑟夫修女說(shuō)道。

“是的，試想一下你的丈夫會(huì)有多開(kāi)心，他一定會(huì)心花怒放的。你只需看看他和嬰兒們待在一起的樣子就知道了，他和孩子們一起玩時(shí)，臉上的表情別提有多快樂(lè)了。我們可以預(yù)見(jiàn)，等他有了自己的孩子一定樂(lè)開(kāi)了花?！?/p>

有好長(zhǎng)時(shí)間凱蒂都沒(méi)有說(shuō)話，兩位修女用溫柔的目光好奇地看著她，院長(zhǎng)嬤嬤拍了拍她的手。

“竟然沒(méi)想過(guò)可能是懷孕了，我真是太傻了?！眲P蒂說(shuō)道，“不管怎么說(shuō)，我很高興我沒(méi)染上霍亂，現(xiàn)在我沒(méi)事了，得回去工作了?！?/p>

“今天就別工作了，我親愛(ài)的孩子。你今天受驚了，最好還是先回家休息休息?！?/p>

“不用，不用，我更想待在這兒工作?！?/p>

“你還是聽(tīng)我的話吧，如果我讓你這么不小心，我們的好醫(yī)生會(huì)說(shuō)些什么呢？明天來(lái)吧，如果你愿意，或者后天，但是今天你必須休息，我派人去找一張轎椅送你回去，你愿意我派一個(gè)年輕的女孩陪著你一起回去嗎？”

“哦，不用了，我想我自己一個(gè)人就行了。”