“Mick,”Bubber said.“I come to believe we all gonna drown.”
It was true that it like to never quit raining. Mrs.Wells rode them back and forth to school in her car, and every afternoon they had to stay on the front porch or in the house.She and Bubber played Parcheesi and Old Maid and shot marbles on the living-room rug.It was nearing along toward Christmas time and Bubber began to talk about the Little Lord Jesus and the red bicycle he wanted Santa Claus to bring him.The rain was silver on the windowpanes and the sky was wet and cold and gray.The river rose so high that some of the factory people had to move out of their houses.Then when it looked like the rain would keep on and on forever it suddenly stopped.They woke up one morning and the bright sun was shining.By afternoon the weather was almost warm as summer.Mick came home late from school and Bubber and Ralph and Spareribs were on the front sidewalk.The kids looked hot and sticky and their winter clothes had a sour smell.Bubber had his slingshot and a pocketful of rocks.Ralph sat up in his wagon, his hat crooked on his head, and he was fretful.Spareribs had his new rifle with him.The sky was a wonderful blue.
“We waited for you a long time, Mick,”Bubber said.“Where you been?”
She jumped up the front steps three at a time and threw her sweater toward the hat rack.“Practicing on the piano in the gym.”
Every afternoon she stayed after school for an hour to play. The gym was crowded and noisy because the girls'team had basketball games.Twice today she was hit on the head with the ball.But getting a chance to sit at a piano was worth any amount of knocks and trouble.She would arrange bunches of notes together until the sound came that she wanted.It was eaiser than she had thought.After the first two or three hours she figured out some sets of chords in the bass that would fit in with the main tune her right hand was playing.She could pick out almost any piece now.And she made up new music too.That was better than just copying tunes.When her hands hunted out these beautiful new sounds it was the best feeling she had ever known.
She wanted to learn how to read music already written down. Delores Brown had taken music lessons for five years.She paid Delores the fifty cents a week she got for lunch money to give her lessons.This made her very hungry all through the day.Delores played a good many fast, runny pieces—but Delores did not know how to answer all the questions she wanted to know.Delores only taught her about the different scales, the major and minor chords, the values of the notes, and such beginning rules as those.
Mick slammed the door of the kitchen stove.“This all we got to eat?”
“Honey, it the best I can do for you,”Portia said.
Just cornpones and margarine. As she ate she drank a glass of water to help wash down the swallows.
“Quit acting so greedy. Nobody going to snatch it out your hand.”
The kids still hung around in front of the house. Bubber had put his slingshot in his pocket and now he played with the rifle.Spareribs was ten years old and his father had died the month before and this had been his father's gun.All the smaller kids loved to handle that rifle.Every few minutes Bubber would haul the gun up to his shoulder.He took aim and made a loud pow sound.
“Don't monkey with the trigger,”said Spareribs.“I got the gun loaded.”
Mick finished the cornbread and looked around for something to do. Harry Minowitz was sitting on his front porch banisters with the newspaper.She was glad to see him.For a joke she threw up her arm and hollered to him,“Heil!”
But Harry didn't take it as a joke. He went into his front hall and shut the door.It was easy to hurt his feelings.She was sorry, because lately she and Harry had been right good friends.They had always played in the same gang when they were kids, but in the last three years he had been at Vocational while she was still in grammar school.Also he worked at part-time jobs.He grew up very suddenly and quit hanging around the back and front yards with kids.Sometimes she could see him reading the paper in his bedroom or undressing late at night.In mathematics and history he was the smartest boy at Vocational.Often, now that she was in high school too, they would meet each other on the way home and walk together.They were in the same shop class, and once the teacher made them partners to assemble a motor.He read books and kept up with the newspapers every day.World politics were all the time on his mind.He talked slow, and sweat stood out on his forehead when he was very serious about something.And now she had made him mad with her.
“I wonder has Harry still got his gold piece,”Spareribs said.
“What gold piece?”
“When a Jew boy is born they put a gold piece in the bank for him. That's what Jews do.”
“Shucks. You got it mixed up,”she said.“It's Catholics you're thinking about.Catholics buy a pistol for a baby soon as it's born.Some day the Catholics mean to start a war and kill everybody else.”
“Nuns give me a funny feeling,”Spareribs said.“It scares me when I see one on the street.”
She sat down on the steps and laid her head on her knees. She went into the inside room.With her it was like there was two places—the inside room and the outside room.School and the family and the things that happened every day were in the outside room.Mister Singer was in both rooms.Foreign countries and plans and music were in the inside room.The songs she thought about were there.And the symphony.When she was by herself in this inside room the music she had heard that night after the party would come back to her.This symphony grew slow like a big flower in her mind.During the day sometimes, or when she had just waked up in the morning, a new part of the symphony would suddenly come to her.Then she would have to go into the inside room and listen to it many times and try to join it into the parts of the symphony she remembered.The inside room was a very private place.She could be in the middle of a house full of people and still feel like she was locked up by herself.
Spareribs stuck his dirty hand up to her eyes because she had been staring off at space. She slapped him.
“What is a nun?”Bubber asked.
“A Catholic lady,”Spareribs said.“A Catholic lady with a big black dress that comes up over her head.”
She was tired of hanging around with the kids. She would go to the library and look at pictures in the National Geographic.Photographs of all the foreign places in the world.Paris, France.And big ice glaciers.And the wild jungles in Africa.
“You kids see that Ralph don't get out in the street,”she said.
Bubber rested the big rifle on his shoulder.“Bring me a story back with you.”
It was like that kid had been born knowing how to read. He was only in the second grade but he loved to read stories by himself—and he never asked anybody else to read to him.“What kind you want this time?”
“Pick out some stories with something to eat in them. I like that one a whole lot about them German kids going out in the forest and coming to this house made out of all different kinds of candy and the witch.I like a story with something to eat in it.”
“I'll look for one,”said Mick.
“But I'm getting kinda tired of candy,”Bubber said.“See if you can't bring me a story with something like a barbecue sandwich in it. But if you can't find none of them I'd like a cowboy story.”
She was ready to leave when suddenly she stopped and stared. The kids stared too.They all stood still and looked at Baby Wilson coming down the steps of her house across the street.
“Ain't Baby cute!”said Bubber softly.
Maybe it was the sudden hot, sunny day after all those rainy weeks. Maybe it was because their dark winter clothes were ugly to them on an afternoon like this one.Anyway Baby looked like a fairy or something in the picture show.She had on her last year's soirée costume—with a little pink-gauze skirt that stuck out short and stiff, a pink body waist, pink dancing shoes, and even a little pink pocket-book.With her yellow hair she was all pink and white and gold—and so small and clean that it almost hurt to watch her.She prissed across the street in a cute way, but would not turn her face toward them.
“Come over here,”said Bubber.“Lemme look at your little pink pocket-book—”
Baby passed them along the edge of the street with her head held to one side. She had made up her mind not to speak to them.
There was a strip of grass between the sidewalk and the street, and when Baby reached it she stood still for a second and then turned a handspring.
“Don't pay no mind to her,”said Spareribs.“She always tries to show off. She's going down to Mister Brannon's café to get candy.He’s her uncle and she gets it free.”
Bubber rested the end of the rifle on the ground. The big gun was too heavy for him.As he watched Baby walk off down the street he kept pulling the straggly bangs of his hair.“That sure is a cute little pink pocket-book,”he said.
“Her Mama always talks about how talented she is,”said Spareribs.“She thinks she's gonna get Baby in the movies.”
It was too late to go look at the National Geographic. Supper was almost ready.Ralph tuned up to cry and she took him off the wagon and put him on the ground.Now it was December, and to a kid Bubber's age that was a long time from summer.All last summer Baby had come out in that pink soirée costume and danced in the middle of the street.At first the kids would flock around and watch her, but soon they got tired of it.Bubber was the only one who would watch her as she came out to dance.He would sit on the curb and yell to her when he saw a car coming.He had watched Baby do her soirée dance a hundred times—but summer had been gone for three months and now it seemed new to him again.
“I sure do wish I had a costume,”Bubber said.
“What kind do you want?”
“A real cool costume. A real pretty one made out of all different colors.Like a butterfly.That's what I want for Christmas.That and a bicycle!”
“Sissy,”said Spareribs.
Bubber hauled the big rifle up to his shoulder again and took aim at a house across the street.“I'd dance around in my costume if I had one. I'd wear it every day to school.”
Mick sat on the front steps and kept her eyes on Ralph. Bubber wasn't a sissy like Spareribs said.He just loved pretty things.She'd better not let old Spareribs get away with that.
“A person's got to fight for every single thing they get,”she said slowly.“And I've noticed a lot of times that the farther down a kid comes in the family the better the kid really is. Youngest kids are always the toughest.I'm pretty hard'cause I've a lot of them on top of me.Bubber—he looks sick, and likes pretty things, but he’s got guts underneath that.If all this is true Ralph sure ought to be a real strong one when he’s old enough to get around.Even though he’s just seventeen months old I can read something hard and tough in that Ralph’s face already.”
Ralph looked around because he knew he was being talked about. Spareribs sat down on the ground and grabbed Ralph's hat off his head and shook it in his face to tease him.
“All right!”Mick said.“You know what I'll do to you if you start him to cry. You just better watch out.”
Everything was quiet. The sun was behind the roofs of the houses and the sky in the west was purple and pink.On the next block there was the sound of kids skating.Bubber leaned up against a tree and he seemed to be dreaming about something.The smell of supper came out of the house and it would be time to eat soon.
“Look it,”Bubber said suddenly.“Here comes Baby again. She sure is pretty in the pink costume.”
Baby walked toward them slowly. She had been given a prize box of popcorn candy and was reaching in the box for the prize.She walked in that same prissy, dainty way.You could tell that she knew they were all looking at her.
“Please, Baby—”Bubber said when she started to pass them.“Lemme see your little pink pocket-book and touch your pink costume.”
Baby started humming a song to herself and did not listen. She passed by without letting Bubber play with her.She only ducked her head and grinned at him a little.
Bubber still had the big rifle up to his shoulder. He made a loud pow sound and pretended like he had shot.Then he called to Baby again—in a soft, sad voice like he was calling a little kitty.“Please, Baby—come here, Baby—”
He was too quick for Mick to stop him. She had just seen his hand on the trigger when there was the terrible ping of the gun.Baby crumpled down to the sidewalk.It was like she was nailed to the steps and couldn't move or scream.Spareribs had his arm up over his head.
Bubber was the only one that didn't realize.“Get up, Baby,”he hollered.“I ain't mad with you.”
It all happened in a second. The three of them reached Baby at the same time.She lay crumpled down on the dirty sidewalk.Her skirt was over her head, showing her pink panties and her little white legs.Her hands were open—in one there was the prize from the candy and in the other the pocket-book.There was blood all over her hair ribbon and the top of her yellow curls.She was shot in the head and her face was turned down toward the ground.
So much happened in a second. Bubber screamed and dropped the gun and ran.She stood with her hands up to her face and screamed too.Then there were many people.Her Dad was the first to get there.He carried Baby into the house.
“She's dead,”said Spareribs.“She's shot through the eyes. I seen her face.”
Mick walked up and down the sidewalk, and her tongue stuck in her mouth when she tried to ask was Baby killed. Mrs.Wilson came running down the block from the beauty parlor where she worked.She went into the house and came back out again.She walked up and down in the street, crying and pulling a ring on and off her finger.Then the ambulance came and the doctor went in to Baby.Mick followed him.Baby was lying on the bed in the front room.The house was quiet as a church.
Baby looked like a pretty little doll on the bed. Except for the blood she did not seem hurt.The doctor bent over and looked at her head.After he finished they took Baby out on a stretcher.Mrs.Wilson and her Dad got into the ambulance with her.
The house was still quiet. Everybody had forgotten about Bubber.He was nowhere around.An hour passed.Her Mama and Hazel and Etta and all the boarders waited in the front room.Mister Singer stood in the doorway.After a long time her Dad came home.He said Baby wouldn't die but that her skull was fractured.He asked for Bubber.Nobody knew where he was.It was dark outside.They called Bubber in the back yard and in the street.They sent Spareribs and some other boys out to hunt for him.It looked like Bubber had gone clear out of the neighborhood.Harry went around to a house where they thought he might be.
Her Dad walked up and down the front porch.“I never have whipped any of my kids yet,”he kept saying.“I never believed in it. But I'm sure going to lay it onto that kid as soon as I get my hands on him.”
Mick sat on the banisters and watched down the dark street.“I can manage Bubber. Once he comes back I can take care of him all right.”
“You go out and hunt for him. You can find him better than anybody else.”
As soon as her Dad said that she suddenly knew where Bubber was. In the back yard there was a big oak and in the summer they had built a tree house.They had hauled a big box up in this oak, and Bubber used to love to sit up in the tree house by himself.Mick left the family and the boarders on the front porch and walked back through the alley of the dark yard.
She stood for a minute by the trunk of the tree.“Bubber—,”she said quietly.“It's Mick.”
He didn't answer, but she knew he was there. It was like she could smell him.She swung up on the lowest branch and climbed slowly.She was really mad with that kid and would have to teach him a lesson.When she reached the tree house she spoke to him again—and still there wasn't any answer.She climbed into the big box and felt around the edges.At last she touched him.He was scrouged up in a corner and his legs were trembling.He had been holding his breath, and when she touched him the sobs and the breath came out all at once.
“I—I didn't mean Baby to fall. She was just so little and cute—seemed to me like I just had to take a pop at her.”
Mick sat down on the floor of the tree house.“Baby's dead,”she said.“They got a lot of people hunting for you.”
Bubber quit crying. He was very quiet.
“You know what Dad's doing in the house?”
It was like she could hear Bubber listening.
“You know Warden Lawes—you heard him over the radio. And you know Sing Sing.Well, our Dad's writing a1 letter to Warden Lawes for him to be a little bit kind to you when they catch you and send you to Sing Sing.”
The words were so awful-sounding in the dark that a shiver came over her. She could feel Bubber trembling.
“They got little electric chairs there—just your size. And when they turn on the juice you just fry up like a piece of burnt bacon.Then you go to Hell.”
Bubber was squeezed up in the corner and there was not a sound from him. She climbed over the edge of the box to get down.“You better stay up here because they got policemen guarding the yard.Maybe in a few days I can bring you something to eat.”
Mick leaned against the trunk of the oak tree. That would teach Bubber all right.She had always managed him and she knew more about that kid than anybody else.Once, about a year or two ago, he was always wanting to stop off behind bushes and pee and play with himself awhile.She had caught on to that pretty quick.She gave him a good slap every time it happened and in three days he was cured.Afterwards he never even peed normal like other kids—he held his hands behind him.She always had to nurse that Bubber and she could always manage him.In a little while she would go back up to the tree house and bring him in.After this he would never want to pick up a gun again in all his life.
There was still this dead feeling in the house. The boarders all sat on the front porch without talking or rocking in the chairs.Her Dad and her Mama were in the front room.Her Dad drank beer out of a bottle and walked up and down the floor.Baby was going to get well all right, so this worry was not about her.And nobody seemed to be anxious about Bubber.It was something else.
“That Bubber!”said Etta.
“I'm shamed to go out of the house after this,”Hazel said.
Etta and Hazel went into the middle room and closed the door. Bill was in his room at the back.She didn't want to talk with them.She stood around in the front hall and thought it over by herself.
Her Dad's footsteps stopped.“It was deliberate,”he said.“It's not like the kid was just fooling with the gun and it went off by accident. Everybody who saw it said he took deliberate aim.”
“I wonder when we'll hear from Mrs. Wilson,”her Mama said.
“We'll hear plenty, all right!”
“I reckon we will.”
Now that the sun was down the night was cold again like November. The people came in from the front porch and sat in the living-room—but nobody lighted a fire.Mick's sweater was hanging on the hat rack, so she put it on and stood with her shoulders bent over to keep warm.She thought about Bubber sitting out in the cold, dark tree house.He had really believed every word she said.But he sure deserved to worry some.He had nearly killed that Baby.
“Mick, can't you think of some place where Bubber might be?”her Dad asked.
“He's in the neighborhood, I reckon.”
Her Dad walked up and down with the empty beer bottle in his hand. He walked like a blind man and there was sweat on his face.“The poor kid's scared to come home.If we could find him I'd feel better.I've never laid a hand on Bubber.He oughtn't be scared of me.”
She would wait until an hour and a half was gone. By that time he would be plenty sorry for what he did.She always could manage that Bubber and make him learn.
After a while there was a big excitement in the house. Her Dad telephoned again to the hospital to see how Baby was, and in a few minutes Mrs.Wilson called back.She said she wanted to have a talk with them and would come to the house.
Her Dad still walked up and down the front room like a blind man. He drank three more bottles of beer.“The way it all happened she can sue my britches off.All she could get would be the house outside of the mortgage.But the way it happened we don't have any comeback at all.”
Suddenly Mick thought about something. Maybe they would really try Bubber in court and put him in a children's jail.Maybe Mrs.Wilson would send him to reform school.Maybe they would really do something terrible to Bubber.She wanted to go out to the tree house right away and sit with him and tell him not to worry.Bubber was always so thin and little and smart.She would kill anybody that tried to send that kid out of the family.She wanted to kiss him and bite him because she loved him so much.
But she couldn't miss anything. Mrs.Wilson would be there in a few minutes and she had to know what was going on.Then she would run out and tell Bubber that all the things she said were lies.And he would really have learned the lesson he had coming to him.
A ten-cent taxicab drove up to the sidewalk. Everybody waited on the front porch, very quiet and scared.Mrs.Wilson got out of the taxi with Mister Brannon.She could hear her Dad grinding his teeth together in a nervous way as they came up the steps.They went into the front room and she followed along after them and stood in the doorway.Etta and Hazel and Bill and the boarders kept out of it.
“I've come to talk over all this with you,”Mrs. Wilson said.
The front room looked tacky and dirty and she saw Mister Brannon notice everything. The mashed celluloid doll and the beads and junk Ralph played with were scattered on the floor.There was beer on her Dad's workbench, and the pillows on the bed where her Dad and Mama slept were right gray.
Mrs. Wilson kept pulling the wedding ring on and off her finger.By the side of her Mister Brannon was very calm.He sat with his legs crossed.His jaws were blue-black and he looked like a gangster in the movies.He had always had this grudge against her.He always spoke to her in this rough voice different from the way he talked to other people.Was it because he knew about the time she and Bubber swiped a pack of chewing gum off his counter?She hated him.
“It all boils down to this,”said Mrs. Wilson.“Your kid shot my baby in the head on purpose.”
Mick stepped into the middle of the room.“No, he didn't,”she said.“I was right there. Bubber had been aiming that gun at me and Ralph and everything around there.He just happened to aim it at Baby and his finger slipped.I was right there.”
Mister Brannon rubbed his nose and looked at her in a sad way. She sure did hate him.
“I know how you all feel—so I want to come to the point right now.”
Mick's Mama rattled a bunch of keys and her Dad sat very still with his big hands hanging over his knees.
“Bubber didn't have it in his mind beforehand,”Mick said.“He just—”
Mrs. Wilson jabbed the ring on and off her finger.“Wait a minute.I know how everything is.I could bring it to court and sue for every cent you own.”
Her Dad didn't have any expression on his face.“I tell you one thing,”he said.“We don't have much to sue for. All we got is—”
“Just listen to me,”said Mrs. Wilson.“I haven't come here with any lawyer to sue you.Bartholomew—Mister Brannon—and I talked it over when we came and we just about agree on the main points.In the first place, I want to do the fair, honest thing—and in the second place, I don't want Baby's name mixed up in no common lawsuit at her age.”
There was not a sound and everybody in the room sat stiff in their chairs. Only Mister Brannon half-way smiled at Mick, but she squinted her eyes back at him in a tough way.
Mrs. Wilson was very nervous and her hand shook when she lighted a cigarette.“I don't want to have to sue you or anything like that.All I want is for you to be fair.I'm not asking you to pay for all the suffering and crying Baby went through with until they gave her something to sleep.There's not any pay that would make up for that.And I'm not asking you to pay for the damage this will do to her career and the plans we had made.She's going to have to wear a bandage for several months.She won’t get to dance in the soirée—maybe there’ll even be a little bald place on her head.”
Mrs. Wilson and her Dad looked at each other like they was hypnotized.Then Mrs.Wilson reached around to her pocket-book and took out a slip of paper.
“The things you got to pay are just the actual price of what it will cost us in money. There's Baby's private room in the hospital and a private nurse until she can come home.There's the operating room and the doctor's bill—and for once I intend the doctor to be paid right away.Also, they shaved all Baby's hair off and you got to pay me for the permanent wave I took her to Atlanta to get—so when her hair grows back natural she can have another one.And there’s the price of her costume and other little extra bills like that.I’ll write all the items down just as soon as I know what they’ll be.I’m trying to be just as fair and honest as I can, and you’ll have to pay the total when I bring it to you.”
Her Mama smoothed her dress over her knees and took a quick, short breath.“Seems to me like the children's ward would be a lot better than a private room. When Mick had pneumonia—”
“I said a private room.”
Mister Brannon held out his white, stumpy hands and balanced them like they was on scales.“Maybe in a day or two Baby can move into a double room with some other kid.”
Mrs. Wilson spoke hard-boiled.“You heard what I said.Long as your kid shot my Baby she certainly ought to have every advantage until she gets well.”
“You're in your rights,”her Dad said.“God knows we don't have anything now—but maybe I can scrape it up. I realize you're not trying to take advantage of us and I appreciate it.We'll do what we can.”
She wanted to stay and hear everything that they said, but Bubber was on her mind. When she thought of him sitting up in the dark, cold tree house thinking about Sing Sing she felt uneasy.She went out of the room and down the hall toward the back door.The wind was blowing and the yard was very dark except for the yellow square that came from the light in the kitchen.When she looked back she saw Portia sitting at the table with her long, thin hands up on her face, very still.The yard was lonesome and the wind made quick, scary shadows and a mourning kind of sound in the darkness.
She stood under the oak tree. Then just as she started to reach for the first limb a terrible notion came over her.It came to her all of a sudden that Bubber was gone.She called him and he did not answer.She climbed quick and quiet as a cat.
“Say!Bubber!”
Without feeling in the box she knew he wasn't there. To make sure she got into the box and felt in all the corners.The kid was gone.He must have started down the minute she left.He was running away for sure now, and with a smart kid like Bubber it was no telling where they'd catch him.
She scrambled down the tree and ran to the front porch. Mrs.Wilson was leaving and they had all come out to the front steps with her.
“Dad!”she said.“We got to do something about Bubber. He's run away.I'm sure he left our block.We all got to get out and hunt him.”
Nobody knew where to go or how to begin. Her Dad walked up and down the street, looking in all the alleys.Mister Brannon telephoned for a ten-cent taxi for Mrs.Wilson and then stayed to help with the hunt.Mister Singer sat on the banisters of the porch and he was the only person who kept calm.They all waited for Mick to plan out the best places to look for Bubber.But the town was so big and the little kid so smart that she couldn't think what to do.
Maybe he had gone to Portia's house over in Sugar Hill. She went back into the kitchen where Portia was sitting at the table with her hands up to her face.
“I got this sudden notion he went down to your house. Help us hunt him.”
“How come I didn't think of that!I bet a nickel my little scared Bubber been staying in my home all the time.”
Mister Brannon had borrowed an automobile. He and Mister Singer and Mick's Dad got into the car with her and Portia.Nobody knew what Bubber was feeling except her.Nobody knew he had really run away like he was escaping to save his life.
Portia's house was dark except for the checkered moonlight on the floor. As soon as they stepped inside they could tell there was nobody in the two rooms.Portia lighted the front lamp.The rooms had a colored smell, and they were crowded with cut-out pictures on the walls and the lace table covers and lace pillows on the bed.Bubber was not there.
“He been here,”Portia suddenly said.“I can tell somebody been in here.”
Mister Singer found the pencil and piece of paper on the kitchen table. He read it quickly and then they all looked at it.The writing was round and scraggly and the smart little kid hadn't misspelled but one word.The note said:
Dear Portia,
I gone to Florada.Tell every body.
Yours truly,
Bubber Kelly
They stood around surprised and stumped. Her Dad looked out the doorway and picked his nose with his thumb in a worried way.They were all ready to pile in the car and ride toward the highway leading south.
“Wait a minute,”Mick said.“Even if Bubber is seven years old he's got brains enough not to tell us where he's going if he wants to run away. That about Florida is just a trick.”
“A trick?”her Dad said.
“Yeah. There only two places Bubber knows very much about.One is Florida and the other is Atlanta.Me and Bubber and Ralph have been on the Atlanta road many a time.He knows how to start there and that's where he's headed.He always talks about what he's going to do when he gets a chance to go to Atlanta.”
They went out to the automobile again. She was ready to climb into the back seat when Portia pinched her on the elbow.“You know what Bubber done?”she said in a quiet voice.“Don't you tell nobody else, but my Bubber done also taken my gold earrings off my dresser.I never thought my Bubber would have done such a thing to me.”
Mister Brannon started the automobile. They rode slow, looking up and down the streets for Bubber, headed toward the Atlanta road.
It was true that in Bubber there was a tough, mean streak. He was acting different today than he had ever acted before.Up until now he was always a quiet little kid who never really done anything mean.When anybody's feelings were hurt it always made him ashamed and nervous.Then how come he could do all the things he had done today?
They drove very slow out the Atlanta road. They passed the last line of houses and came to the dark fields and woods.All along they had stopped to ask if anyone had seen Bubber.“Has a little barefooted kid in corduroy knickers been by this way?”But even after they had gone about ten miles nobody had seen or noticed him.The wind came in cold and strong from the open windows and it was late at night.
They rode a little farther and then went back toward town. Her Dad and Mister Brannon wanted to look up all the children in the second grade, but she made them turn around and go back on the Atlanta road again.All the while she remembered the words she had said to Bubber.About Baby being dead and Sing Sing and Warden Lawes.About the small electric chairs that were just his size, and Hell.In the dark the words had sounded terrible.
They rode very slow for about half a mile out of town, and then suddenly she saw Bubber. The lights of the car showed him up in front of them very plain.It was funny.He was walking along the edge of the road and he had his thumb out trying to get a ride.Portia's butcher knife was stuck in his belt, and on the wide, dark road he looked so small that it was like he was five years old instead of seven.
They stopped the automobile and he ran to get in. He couldn't see who they were, and his face had the squint-eyed look it always had when he took aim with a marble.Her Dad held him by the collar.He hit with his fists and kicked.Then he had the butcher knife in his hand.Their Dad yanked it away from him just in time.He fought like a little tiger in a trap, but finally they got him into the car.Their Dad held him in his lap on the way home and Bubber sat very stiff, not leaning against anything.
They had to drag him into the house, and all the neighbors and the boarders were out to see the commotion. They dragged him into the front room and when he was there he backed off into a corner, holding his fists very tight and with his squinted eyes looking from one person to the other like he was ready to fight the whole crowd.
He hadn't said one word since they came into the house until he began to scream:“Mick done it!I didn't do it. Mick done it!”
There were never any kind of yells like the ones Bubber made. The veins in his neck stood out and his fists were hard as little rocks.
“You can't get me!Nobody can get me!”he kept yelling.
Mick shook him by the shoulder. She told him the things she had said were stories.He finally knew what she was saying but he wouldn't hush.It looked like nothing could stop that screaming.
“I hate everybody!I hate everybody!”
They all just stood around. Mister Brannon rubbed his nose and looked down at the floor.Then finally he went out very quietly.Mister Singer was the only one who seemed to know what it was all about.Maybe this was because he didn't hear that awful noise.His face was still calm, and whenever Bubber looked at him he seemed to get quieter.Mister Singer was different from any other man, and at times like this it would be better if other people would let him manage.He had more sense and he knew things that ordinary people couldn't know.He just looked at Bubber, and after a while the kid quieted down enough so that their Dad could get him to bed.
In the bed he lay on his face and cried. He cried with long, big sobs that made him tremble all over.He cried for an hour and nobody in the three rooms could sleep.Bill moved to the living-room sofa and Mick got into bed with Bubber.He wouldn't let her touch him or snug up to him.Then after another hour of crying and hiccoughing he went to sleep.
She was awake a long time. In the dark she put her arms around him and held him very close.She touched him all over and kissed him everywhere.He was so soft and little and there was this salty, boy smell about him.The love she felt was so hard that she had to squeeze him to her until her arms were tired.In her mind she thought about Bubber and music together.It was like she could never do anything good enough for him.She would never hit him or even tease him again.She slept all night with her arms around his head.Then in the morning when she woke up he was gone.
But after that night there was not much of a chance for her to tease him any more—her or anybody else. After he shot Baby the kid was not ever like little Bubber again.He always kept his mouth shut and he didn't fool around with anybody.Most of the time he just sat in the back yard or in the coal house by himself.It got closer and closer toward Christmas time.She really wanted a piano, but naturally she didn't say anything about that.She told everybody she wanted a Mickey Mouse watch.When they asked Bubber what he wanted from Santa Claus he said he didn't want anything.He hid his marbles and jack-knife and wouldn't let anyone touch his story books.
After that night nobody called him Bubber any more. The big kids in the neighborhood started calling him Baby-Killer Kelly.But he didn't speak much to any person and nothing seemed to bother him.The family called him by his real name—George.At first Mick couldn't stop calling him Bubber and she didn't want to stop.But it was funny how after about a week she just naturally called him George like the others did.But he was a different kid—George—going around by himself always like a person much older and with nobody, not even her, knowing what was really in his mind.
She slept with him on Christmas Eve night. He lay in the dark without talking.“Quit acting so peculiar,”she said to him.“Less talk about the wise men and the way the children in Holland put out their wooden shoes instead of hanging up their stockings.”
George wouldn't answer. He went to sleep.
She got up at four o'clock in the morning and waked everybody in the family. Their Dad built a fire in the front room and then let them go into the Christmas tree and see what they got.George had an Indian suit and Ralph a rubber doll.The rest of the family just got clothes.She looked all through her stocking for the Mickey Mouse watch but it wasn't there.Her presents were a pair of brown Oxford shoes and a box of cherry candy.While it was still dark she and George went out on the sidewalk and cracked nigger-toes and shot firecrackers and ate up the whole two-layer box of cherry candy.And by the time it was daylight they were sick to the stomach and tired out.She lay down on the sofa.She shut her eyes and went into the inside room.
“米克,”巴伯說,“我覺得我們要被淹死了。”
的確,雨似乎永遠(yuǎn)停不下來。韋爾斯夫人開車來回接送他們上學(xué),每天下午他們都只能待在門廊或者屋子里。她和巴伯玩飛行棋和“老處女”紙牌游戲,還在起居室的小地毯上玩彈珠。眼看圣誕節(jié)臨近,巴伯開始念叨小主耶穌,念叨讓圣誕老人送他一輛紅色自行車。雨水澆在窗戶上,銀光閃閃的,天空濕冷而灰暗。河水漲得很高,有些工人不得不從家里搬了出來。后來,就在大家覺得這雨會無休無止永遠(yuǎn)下下去的時候,雨卻突然停了。一天早晨,他們醒來發(fā)現(xiàn)艷陽高照。到了下午,天氣暖和起來,像是到了夏天。米克放學(xué)回家很晚,巴伯、拉爾夫和斯波爾瑞巴斯正在門前的人行道上。孩子們看上去很熱,汗膩膩的,身上的冬衣發(fā)出一股酸臭味。巴伯拿著彈弓,裝了一口袋小石子。拉爾夫在手推車?yán)镒鹕碜?,帽子歪戴在頭上,煩躁不安。斯波爾瑞巴斯拿著那把新來復(fù)槍。天空一片蔚藍(lán)色,漂亮極了。
“我們等你很久了,米克,”巴伯說,“你去哪兒了?”
她三步并作一步跳上門前的臺階,把毛衣扔在衣帽架上?!耙恢痹隗w操館練鋼琴?!?/p>
每天下午放學(xué)后,她都留在學(xué)校練習(xí)一小時鋼琴。體操館嘈雜擁擠,女子籃球隊正在打比賽。今天,她的腦袋已經(jīng)被籃球砸中兩次了,但能有機(jī)會坐在鋼琴面前,不管被砸多少次,不管有多少麻煩,都是值得的。她把音符組合到一起,總算彈出了她想要的聲音,這比她預(yù)想的要容易。試了兩三個小時之后,她在低音區(qū)摸索出了幾組和弦,可以搭配右手彈奏的主旋律?,F(xiàn)在,她幾乎可以辨別出所有的音樂作品了,而且她還會自己創(chuàng)作新樂曲,這比只是模仿旋律好得多。她的雙手捕捉到這些優(yōu)美的樂聲,讓她覺得這是世間最美妙的感受。
她想學(xué)習(xí)如何看懂寫下來的樂譜。德洛麗絲·布朗已經(jīng)學(xué)了五年音樂,米克把每周用來吃午飯的五毛錢給了德洛麗絲,讓她給自己上音樂課,這讓米克一整天都饑腸轆轆。德洛麗絲會彈很多快而流暢的曲子——但德洛麗絲不知道該怎么回答她提出的所有那些問題,只能教給她不同音階、大小調(diào)和弦、音符值,諸如此類的初級規(guī)則。
米克砰地關(guān)上廚房爐子的門?!拔覀兙统赃@些?”
“寶貝,我已經(jīng)盡力了?!辈ㄎ鲖I說。
只有玉米面包和人造奶油。她一邊吃一邊喝水,這樣才能勉強(qiáng)咽下去。
“別這么狼吞虎咽,沒人搶你的?!?/p>
孩子們?nèi)匀辉诩议T前閑逛。巴伯把彈弓塞進(jìn)了口袋,這會兒正在玩來復(fù)槍。斯波爾瑞巴斯十歲,他父親上個月剛?cè)ナ溃@是他父親留下的槍——所有小孩子都喜歡擺弄這支槍。每隔幾分鐘,巴伯就把槍掄到肩膀上,瞄準(zhǔn),然后大聲發(fā)出“砰”的聲音。
“別亂動扳機(jī)。”斯波爾瑞巴斯說,“我裝上了子彈。”
米克吃完玉米面包,看看四周想找點(diǎn)事做。哈里·米諾維茨正坐在他家門廊的欄桿上看報紙。她很高興看到他,想開個玩笑,于是舉起一只胳膊,用納粹的姿勢沖他大喊:“嗨!”
哈里卻沒有把這個舉動當(dāng)成玩笑,他走進(jìn)門廳關(guān)了門。他的感情很容易受傷。她很難過,因?yàn)樗凸锊痪们斑€一直是好朋友。小時候,他們經(jīng)常一起玩,但最近三年,他上了職業(yè)學(xué)校,而她還在文法學(xué)校。他在業(yè)余時間也干些兼職,好像突然之間他便長大了,再也不跟孩子們一起在前后院胡混了。有時候她看到他在臥室看報紙,或者深夜時分看見他脫衣服。在數(shù)學(xué)和歷史方面,他是職業(yè)學(xué)校里最聰明的男孩?,F(xiàn)在她也上了高中,他們經(jīng)常會在放學(xué)回家的路上碰見,然后一起走回來。實(shí)踐課上,他倆在一個班,有一次,老師讓他倆搭檔組裝一輛摩托車。他讀書,每天看報紙。世界政治無時無刻不在他的心頭。他說話很慢,對一件事情特別認(rèn)真的時候,額頭上會冒出汗珠。而現(xiàn)在,她讓他生氣了。
“我想知道哈里是不是還有金幣?!彼共柸鸢退拐f。
“什么金幣?”
“猶太男孩出生時,家人會為他在銀行里存一枚金幣。猶太人就是這么做的。”
“哪有的事,你弄混了?!彼f,“你說的是天主教徒。天主教的嬰兒一出生,家人就會買一把手槍??傆幸惶?,天主教徒要發(fā)起戰(zhàn)爭,殺光所有人。”
“修女讓我覺得很好笑,”斯波爾瑞巴斯說,“在街上看到修女,總是把我嚇一跳?!?/p>
她在臺階上坐下,把頭放在膝蓋上,進(jìn)入了“里屋”。對她來說,好像有兩個地方——“里屋”和“外屋”。學(xué)校、家,還有每天發(fā)生的事情,這些屬于“外屋”。辛格先生既屬于“里屋”又屬于“外屋”。國外、那些計劃和音樂屬于“里屋”,她日思夜想的那些歌也屬于“里屋”,還有交響樂。她獨(dú)自待在“里屋”時,那晚派對之后她聽到的那首曲子便會回到她的腦海中。在她的心里,這首交響樂像一朵碩大的花,慢慢地綻放。白天有些時候,或者清晨剛醒來時,她腦子里會突然想起這首交響樂的一個新部分,然后她必須要進(jìn)入“里屋”,翻來覆去地聽著,想要把這部分加進(jìn)這首交響樂她已經(jīng)記住的那些部分中?!袄镂荨笔莻€非常私密的地方,她在人滿為患的屋子里,卻仍然感覺到就像自己被單獨(dú)關(guān)在了屋里一樣。
斯波爾瑞巴斯把一只臟手伸到她眼前,因?yàn)樗恢便躲兜囟⒅h(yuǎn)方。她給了他一巴掌。
“修女是什么?”巴伯問。
“天主教的女士?!彼共柸鸢退拐f,“是天主教的女士,穿著黑色大長裙,一直遮到腦袋?!?/p>
她厭倦了跟這幫孩子無所事事地混在一起,她想去圖書館看看《國家地理》雜志上的圖片。照片里都是世界上其他國家的地方,法國巴黎、巨大的冰川,還有非洲的原始叢林。
“你們幾個看著拉爾夫,別讓他走到街上。”她說。巴伯把那支大來復(fù)槍扛在肩上。“回來的時候給我?guī)П竟适聲??!?/p>
這個孩子似乎生來就知道怎么看書。他才上二年級,卻特別喜歡自己看故事書——從來沒讓別人給他念過?!斑@次你想要什么書?”
“給我挑本里面有吃的東西的書。我特別喜歡那種德國孩子的故事,他們到森林里去,碰到一所房子,全都是各種各樣的糖果做的,還有巫婆。我喜歡有吃的東西的故事?!?/p>
“我找找看?!泵卓苏f。
“但我有點(diǎn)厭煩糖果了?!卑筒f,“看看能不能給我找本故事書,里面有烤肉三明治什么的。如果實(shí)在找不到,我想看本有關(guān)牛仔的書?!?/p>
她正準(zhǔn)備離開,突然停下了,看得出神。孩子們也都紛紛盯著看。他們站在那里一動不動,望著街對面的巴比·威爾遜從家門前的臺階上走下來。
“巴比太可愛了!”巴伯柔聲說道。
也許是因?yàn)橄铝撕脦仔瞧诘挠?,天氣突然晴熱起來的緣故。也許是因?yàn)樵谶@樣一個午后,他們身上暗淡的冬衣太難看的緣故,無論如何,巴比看上去就像個仙女,或者電影里的什么人。她穿著去年的晚會禮服——一條小小的粉色紗裙,微微朝外翹著,很挺括,一條粉色腰帶,粉色舞鞋,甚至還拿了一個粉色小皮夾。除了頭發(fā)是黃色,她全身是粉紅、白色和金色——而且,她又嬌小又干凈,單單望著都怕會傷害到她。她嬌美可愛,穿過街道,但不肯轉(zhuǎn)過臉來看他們。
“到這里來,”巴伯說,“讓我看看你那個粉色的小錢包——”
巴比沿著街道邊緣從他們身邊走過,頭扭向一側(cè)。她下定決心不跟他們說話。
人行道和街道之間有一小片草地,巴比走到草地的時候停住了,站了一會兒,然后做了一個前手翻。
“別去注意她,”斯波爾瑞巴斯說,“她總是要出風(fēng)頭。她要去布蘭農(nóng)先生的咖啡館去買糖。布蘭農(nóng)是她姨夫,她不用付錢?!?/p>
巴伯把來復(fù)槍拄到地上,這支大槍對他來說太沉了。他一邊望著巴比沿著街道走遠(yuǎn),一邊不斷拽著自己散亂的劉海兒?!澳钦媸莻€特別可愛的粉色小錢包?!彼f。
“她媽媽總是說她多么有天賦,”斯波爾瑞巴斯說,“她覺得,她要把巴比送去演電影。”時間太晚,不能去看《國家地理》了,馬上就要開晚飯了。拉爾夫抬起頭哭了起來,她把他從手推車?yán)锉С鰜?,放到地上?,F(xiàn)在是十二月,對于巴伯這個年齡的孩子來說,夏天還早呢。去年夏天,巴比出來時一直穿著那件晚會禮服,在大街中央跳舞。起初,孩子們會圍攏過來看著她,但很快就厭倦了。后來她出來跳舞時,只剩下巴伯還會看。巴伯總是坐在路邊,一有車來就沖她大喊。他看巴比穿著晚會禮服跳舞看了一百次——但夏天已經(jīng)過去三個月了,現(xiàn)在對他來說一切又都是新的。
“我多希望自己也有一件禮服。”巴伯說。
“你想要什么樣的?”
“一件很酷的禮服,非常漂亮的禮服,五顏六色,像蝴蝶一樣。圣誕節(jié)我就想要這個,還有一輛自行車!”
“娘娘腔?!彼共柸鸢退拐f。
巴伯又把那支大來復(fù)槍扛到肩膀上,瞄準(zhǔn)街對面的一幢房子?!拔胰绻屑Y服,我就會到處跳舞,我還要每天穿著去上學(xué)。”
米克坐在門前臺階上,看著拉爾夫。巴伯并不像斯波爾瑞巴斯說的那樣是個娘娘腔,他只是喜歡漂亮的東西。斯波爾瑞巴斯居然這么說,她饒不了他。
“一個人不管是要什么東西,他都要努力爭取?!彼朴频卣f,“很多次我都注意到,一個孩子在家里越小越好。小一些的孩子都是最堅強(qiáng)的孩子,我就很堅強(qiáng),因?yàn)槲疑厦嬗泻脦讉€孩子。巴伯——他看上去病怏怏的,還喜歡漂亮東西,但他內(nèi)心很勇敢。如果真是這樣,那么等拉爾夫長大了可以四處走的時候,他肯定是最堅強(qiáng)的那一個。雖然拉爾夫現(xiàn)在只有十七個月,但我已經(jīng)從他臉上看出了一種可稱之為堅強(qiáng)和勇敢的東西?!?/p>
拉爾夫四處看看,知道是在說他。斯波爾瑞巴斯坐到地上,一把拿走拉爾夫的帽子,在他眼前晃著逗弄他。
“好吧!”米克說,“如果你把他惹哭了,你知道我怎么治你。你最好小心點(diǎn)?!?/p>
一切都靜悄悄的。太陽落到了屋后,西邊的天空一片紫紅色,隔壁街區(qū)傳來孩子們溜冰的聲音。巴伯斜靠在一棵樹上,似乎在幻想著什么東西。家里傳來晚飯的香味,很快就該吃飯了。
“瞧,”巴伯突然說,“巴比又來了,她穿這身粉色衣服真漂亮。”
巴比慢慢朝他們這邊走過來。她拿了一盒有獎品的爆米花糖果,正把手伸進(jìn)盒子里拿獎品。她走起路來還是那樣一本正經(jīng),那樣文雅??吹贸?,她知道他們都在注視著她。
“嗨,巴比——”她經(jīng)過他們身邊時,巴伯說道,“讓我看看你的粉色小錢包,摸摸你的粉色衣服?!?/p>
巴比自顧自地哼起歌來,并不聽他說話。她經(jīng)過巴伯身邊,不讓巴伯碰她。她只是迅速低下頭,沖他笑了笑。
巴伯的肩上還扛著那支大來復(fù)槍,嘴里大聲發(fā)出“砰”的聲音,假裝在射擊。然后,他又對巴比喊了起來——聲音柔和而又傷感,像是在呼喚一只小貓?!班耍捅取^來,巴比——”
他動作太快,米克根本來不及阻止他。她只看見他的手放在扳機(jī)上,隨后突然傳來“砰”的一聲可怕的槍響,巴比癱倒在人行道上。米克好像被釘在了臺階上,動彈不得,也叫不出聲。斯波爾瑞巴斯抬起一只胳膊捂住了腦袋。
只有巴伯沒有意識到發(fā)生了什么事情?!捌饋?,巴比,”他喊道,“我沒有生你的氣?!?/p>
一切都發(fā)生在一瞬間。三個人同時沖到巴比身邊。她癱倒在骯臟的人行道上,裙子蓋在頭上,露出粉色襯褲和雪白的小腿。她雙手張開——一只手里拿著糖果里的獎品,另一只手里拿著錢包。她的發(fā)帶和頭頂?shù)狞S色卷發(fā)上都沾滿了血。她被打中了頭部,臉朝下摔在地上。
一瞬間,發(fā)生了這么多事。巴伯驚聲尖叫,扔下槍,跑了。米克站在那里,雙手捂著臉,也尖叫起來。然后來了很多人。她爸爸第一個沖過來,把巴比抱到了屋里。
“她死了?!彼共柸鸢退拐f,“她被打在兩只眼睛中間,我看見了她的臉?!?/p>
米克在人行道上來回走著,她想問問巴比是不是死了,舌頭卻像卡在了嘴里一樣。威爾遜太太從上班的美容院一路跑過來,沖進(jìn)屋里,又沖了出來。她在街上來回走著,大哭著,把手指上的戒指摘下來又戴上。后來救護(hù)車來了,醫(yī)生進(jìn)去看巴比。米克跟在后面進(jìn)了屋。巴比正躺在前屋的床上,屋子里安靜得如同教堂。
巴比躺在床上,看上去像個漂亮的小洋娃娃,除了有血,看不出受傷的樣子。醫(yī)生俯下身查看她的頭部,檢查完畢,他們把巴比放上擔(dān)架抬了出來。威爾遜太太和她爸爸跟著一起上了救護(hù)車。
屋里仍然一片寂靜。所有人都忘了巴伯,他不見了蹤影。一個小時過去了,她媽媽、黑茲爾、埃特,還有所有房客們都在前屋等著,辛格先生站在門口。
過了很長時間,她爸爸回來了。他說,巴比不會死,但顱骨骨折了。他要找巴伯,卻沒有人知道巴伯去了哪兒。外面已經(jīng)黑了。他們到后院和街上去找,喊著巴伯的名字。他們又派斯波爾瑞巴斯和其他幾個男孩出去找。巴伯似乎已經(jīng)遠(yuǎn)遠(yuǎn)離開了這個地方。哈里去了一處房子,他們都覺得他也許會在那里。
她爸爸在門廊里來回踱步?!拔覐膩頉]用鞭子抽過自己的孩子,”他不斷地說,“我從來不相信鞭子,但等我抓住這個孩子,我一定要拿鞭子抽他?!?/p>
米克坐在欄桿上,望著黑暗的街道?!拔抑蔚昧税筒5人貋?,交給我就行?!?/p>
“你也出去找找,你比別人都更可能找到他。”
爸爸一說完,她突然想到巴伯去了哪里。后院有棵大橡樹,夏天時,他們在樹上建了個樹屋。他們把一個大箱子拖到了橡樹上,巴伯以前特別喜歡一個人坐在樹屋里。米克離開門廊上的家人和房客,穿過小巷向黑乎乎的后院走去。
她在樹下站了一會兒。“巴伯——”她小聲說,“是米克?!?/p>
他沒有吱聲,但她知道他就在那里,她好像可以聞見他的味道似的。她跳起來,一下抓住最矮的一根樹枝,慢慢向上爬。這個孩子真的讓她很生氣,她要好好教訓(xùn)他一通。她爬上樹屋,又開口對他說話——依然沒人回應(yīng)。她爬進(jìn)大箱子里,摸索著四周,終于摸到了他。他蜷縮在角落里,兩條腿在打哆嗦。他一直屏住呼吸,當(dāng)她摸到他的時候,抽泣聲和呼吸聲一下子爆發(fā)出來。
“我——我不是故意要打倒巴比的。她那么小,那么可愛——我只是想嚇唬她一下。”
米克坐在樹屋的地上?!鞍捅人懒耍彼f,“他們派了很多人找你?!?/p>
巴伯止住哭聲,安靜下來。
“你知道爸爸在家里干什么嗎?”
她好像聽到巴伯在認(rèn)真傾聽。
“你知道勞斯典獄長[16]——你在收音機(jī)里聽到過他,你也知道辛辛監(jiān)獄。嗯,咱爸爸正在給勞斯典獄長寫信,讓他們抓住你送到辛辛監(jiān)獄的時候?qū)δ闵晕⒑靡稽c(diǎn)?!?/p>
黑暗中,這些話聽起來非??膳?,她忍不住一陣戰(zhàn)栗,她能感覺到巴伯在顫抖。
“他們那里有小電椅子——就是你那么大。他們一開開關(guān),你就像一片烤肉一樣烤干了,然后你就下地獄了。”
巴伯蜷縮在角落里,沒有發(fā)出一絲聲音。她爬到箱子邊緣,要下去?!澳阕詈么谶@里,他們找了警察守著院子。也許再過幾天,我可以給你帶點(diǎn)吃的來?!?/p>
米克靠在橡樹樹干上。這就足以教訓(xùn)巴伯了。她總能對付得了他,她比任何人都了解這個孩子。有一次,大概是一兩年前,他總是中途停下,跑到灌木叢后面撒尿,然后玩弄自己一會兒。她很快就明白了是怎么回事。后來每次這樣的時候,她總會給他一巴掌,不到三天便治好了他的毛病。后來,他再也不像其他男孩那樣撒尿了——總是把手背在身后。她得一直照顧這個巴伯,也總有辦法對付他。再過一會兒,她會回到樹屋,然后把他帶回屋里。經(jīng)歷這件事后,他這輩子都不會再摸槍了。
屋子里還是一片死氣沉沉的感覺,所有房客都坐在門廊里,沒人聊天,也沒人坐在搖椅上搖動。她的爸爸媽媽都在前屋。她爸爸用瓶子喝著啤酒,在屋里來回踱步。巴比會好起來的,所以這種焦慮跟她無關(guān),而且似乎也沒人為巴伯著急。是有別的事情。
“那個巴伯!”埃特說。
“以后,我從這座房子里走出去都會覺得丟人?!焙谄潬栒f。
埃特和黑茲爾走進(jìn)中屋,關(guān)上了門。比爾待在后面自己的房間里。她不想跟他們說話。她站在前廳,獨(dú)自考慮著這一切。
她爸爸的腳步停了下來。“這一切都是故意的,”他說,“這不像只是個孩子在擺弄這支槍,然后意外走火了。所有看見的人都說他是故意瞄準(zhǔn)的?!?/p>
“不知道什么時候才能聽到威爾遜太太的消息。”她媽媽說。
“我們會聽到很多消息的,沒錯!”
“我覺得是這樣?!?/p>
太陽下山后,夜里很冷,像十一月。人們從門廊走進(jìn)來,坐在起居室里——卻沒有人生火。米克的毛衣掛在衣帽架上,她穿上毛衣,站在那里縮著肩膀,好讓自己暖和一些。她想到巴伯一個人坐在冰冷黑暗的樹屋里。他相信了她說的每個字,但他真的活該要擔(dān)心。他差點(diǎn)打死那個巴比。
“米克,你難道想不到巴伯有可能去什么地方嗎?”她爸爸問道。
“我覺得他就在附近?!?/p>
她爸爸手里拿著空啤酒瓶,來回踱著步,走路的樣子就像盲人似的,臉上還掛著汗珠?!澳莻€可憐的孩子嚇得不敢回家。如果能找到他,我會好受些。我沒動過巴伯一個手指頭,他不該害怕我?!?/p>
她會再等一個半小時。到那個時候,巴伯會為自己的所作所為深表歉意。她總有辦法對付這個巴伯,讓他得到教訓(xùn)。
過了一會兒,屋子里騷動起來。她爸爸又給醫(yī)院打了個電話,想打聽巴比怎么樣了。過了幾分鐘,威爾遜太太回了電話。她說想跟他們談?wù)?,要到家里來?/p>
她爸爸仍然像個盲人似的,在前屋里走來走去。他又喝了三瓶啤酒?!鞍l(fā)生這樣的事,她完全可以去告我,讓我連褲子都賠掉。她能得到的一切就是這座房子了,還得刨除掉抵押。但發(fā)生這樣的事情,我們也沒什么好說的了?!?/p>
突然,米克想到了什么。他們也許真的會把巴伯送上法庭,然后關(guān)進(jìn)兒童監(jiān)獄。威爾遜太太也許會把他送進(jìn)勞改學(xué)校,他們也許真的會對巴伯做出可怕的事情來。她想立刻回到樹屋,坐在他身邊,讓他不要擔(dān)心。巴伯一直那么瘦,那么小,那么聰明。如果誰膽敢把這個孩子送走,她就殺了誰。她想要吻他,咬他,因?yàn)樗敲磹鬯?/p>
但她不能錯過任何消息。再過幾分鐘,威爾遜太太就來了,她必須得知道事情的進(jìn)展。然后她會跑出去,告訴巴伯她之前所說的話都是騙他的,而他也會真正得到應(yīng)得的教訓(xùn)。
一輛廉價出租車駛上人行道。大家都在門廊等著,既安靜又害怕。威爾遜太太跟布蘭農(nóng)先生一起從出租車?yán)镒吡顺鰜怼K麄冏呱吓_階時,她聽見她爸爸緊張得牙齒咬得咯咯作響。他們走進(jìn)前屋,她緊跟在后面,站在門口。埃特、黑茲爾、比爾和房客們都在門外。
“我來跟你好好談?wù)勥@件事?!蓖栠d太太說。
前屋看上去俗氣又邋遢,她看見布蘭農(nóng)先生注意到了這一切。拉爾夫玩的破賽璐珞洋娃娃、珠子和雜物散落了一地。她爸爸的工作臺上有啤酒,爸爸媽媽床上用的枕頭已經(jīng)變成了灰色。
威爾遜太太不斷把婚戒摘下來,再戴上去。在她身邊,布蘭農(nóng)先生非常冷靜。他蹺著二郎腿坐在那里,下巴上青黑一片,看上去像電影里的黑幫成員。他對她一貫心存怨恨,跟她說話時聲音粗暴,與跟別人說話時的聲音不一樣。是因?yàn)樗滥谴嗡桶筒畯乃衽_上偷了一包口香糖嗎?她恨他。
“一切都?xì)w結(jié)到這一點(diǎn),”威爾遜太太說,“你孩子故意打中了我家巴比的頭部。”
米克一步邁到屋子中央?!安皇?,他沒有?!彼f,“我就在現(xiàn)場。巴伯當(dāng)時正在用槍瞄準(zhǔn)我、拉爾夫,還有周圍的東西。他的槍碰巧對準(zhǔn)了巴比,手指滑了一下。我就在現(xiàn)場。”
布蘭農(nóng)先生搓著鼻子,望著她,一副傷心的樣子。她真的恨他。
“我理解你們的感受——所以,現(xiàn)在我想開門見山。”
米克的媽媽晃動著一串鑰匙,她爸爸坐在那里一動不動,兩只大手垂在膝蓋上。
“巴伯之前沒有成心想這么干,”米克說,“他只是——”
威爾遜太太把戒指猛地摘下來,又戴上去。“等一下,我知道一切是怎么回事。我要告上法庭,讓你們賠光所有的錢。”
她爸爸臉上沒有任何表情?!拔腋嬖V你一件事,”他說,“你告我們,我們也沒有多少錢賠,我們所有的一切只是——”
“聽我說,”威爾遜太太說,“我來這里,不是要帶任何律師來控告你。巴塞洛繆——布蘭農(nóng)先生——和我來的時候,我們仔細(xì)討論過這件事,對一些主要問題基本上意見一致。首先我想要公平誠實(shí)——其次,我不想讓巴比在這個年齡就卷入非普通的訴訟案?!?/p>
沒有人說話,房間里所有人都僵硬地坐在椅子上。只有布蘭農(nóng)先生朝米克似笑非笑,但她斜著眼睛非常強(qiáng)硬地回望著他。
威爾遜太太非常緊張,點(diǎn)煙的時候手一直在抖?!拔也幌敫婺慊蛘咴趺礃樱蚁胍木褪悄銈円?。他們給巴比吃了什么東西讓她睡過去之前,她經(jīng)歷了那么多折磨,哭了那么久,我不是要讓你們?yōu)檫@些付出代價。沒有任何代價可以彌補(bǔ)這一切,這會影響她將來的事業(yè),會影響我們的計劃,我也不是要讓你們?yōu)檫@些付出代價。她要戴好幾個月的繃帶,也不能去晚會上跳舞了——也許頭上甚至還會有塊地方禿掉?!?/p>
威爾遜太太和她爸爸對視著,好像被催眠了似的。然后,威爾遜太太伸手拿過錢包,從里面取出一張紙條。
“你們要付的,就是我們需要支付的實(shí)際費(fèi)用。巴比在醫(yī)院里住單人病房,有私人護(hù)士,一直住到可以回家為止,還有手術(shù)室和醫(yī)生的賬單——這一次,我想立刻給醫(yī)生付錢。而且,他們給巴比剃光了所有頭發(fā),你得付錢讓我?guī)喬靥m大做電燙發(fā)——等她頭發(fā)長回原樣之后,還要再做一次。還有她的服裝費(fèi),以及類似其他小賬單的錢。等我弄清楚,就立刻給你逐條寫下來。我會盡最大可能公平誠實(shí),我把賬單拿來,你得一次付清?!?/p>
她媽媽撫平膝蓋上的裙子,急促地喘了一口氣?!拔矣X得,兒童病房要比單人病房好多了,上次米克得了肺炎——”
“我說過了,單人病房。”
布蘭農(nóng)先生伸出兩只白皙、粗短的手掂量著,像是放在天平上一樣?!盎蛟S,過一兩天巴比會搬到雙人房間,跟另一個孩子同屋。”威爾遜太太毫無表情地說,“你聽見我說的話了。你孩子打傷我家巴比,她理所應(yīng)當(dāng)要享受優(yōu)越的條件,直到康復(fù)的那一天?!?/p>
“你有權(quán)利要求?!彼职终f,“天知道,我們現(xiàn)在一無所有——但我們可以積攢。我知道你不會趁機(jī)占我們的便宜,我很感激這一點(diǎn)。我們會盡最大努力。”
她想待在這里,聽聽他們還會說些什么,但她滿腦子都是巴伯。一想到他坐在黑暗寒冷的樹屋里擔(dān)心辛辛監(jiān)獄的事情,她便覺得心中不安。她走出屋子,穿過走廊朝后門走去。風(fēng)在刮著,院子里一片漆黑,只有廚房的燈透出一方昏黃的亮光。她回過頭,看見波西婭坐在桌前,修長瘦削的雙手捧著臉,一動不動。院子里空無一人,黑暗中風(fēng)刮得影子快速移動著,很嚇人,還發(fā)出一種像是哀鳴的聲音。
她站在橡樹下面。然后,她剛要伸手去抓第一根樹枝,腦子里突然閃過一個可怕的念頭。她突然覺得,巴伯已經(jīng)不見了。她大喊他的名字,他沒有應(yīng)聲。她像只貓一樣迅速無聲地爬上去。
“嘿!巴伯!”
她不用到箱子里去摸,就知道他不在里面。為了確認(rèn)一下,她走進(jìn)箱子,摸遍了每一個角落。那個孩子不見了。肯定是她前腳剛離開,他后腳便爬下樹來。現(xiàn)在他肯定已經(jīng)跑了。像巴伯這么聰明的孩子,誰也不知道到哪里才能找到他。
她爬下樹,跑到前面的門廊。威爾遜太太正要離開,他們都跟她一起來到門前的臺階上。
“爸爸!”她說,“我們得管管巴伯。他跑了,我肯定他已經(jīng)不在我們街區(qū)了,我們都得出去找找。”
沒有人知道該去哪里找,無從下手。她爸爸在街上走來走去,朝所有的小巷子里張望。布蘭農(nóng)先生打電話給威爾遜太太叫了輛便宜出租車,自己則留下來幫著一起找人。辛格先生坐在門廊的欄桿上,他是唯一保持冷靜的人。他們都等著米克想出來去什么地方找巴伯才好。但是,鎮(zhèn)子太大了,這個小孩又那么聰明,她實(shí)在不知道該怎么辦。
也許他跑到糖山上,到波西婭家去了。她回到廚房,波西婭正坐在桌子前,兩只手捧著臉。
“我突然想到,他可能跑到你家去了。幫我們找找他吧。”
“我怎么就沒想到呢!我賭五分錢,我那個嚇壞了的小巴伯一直待在我家里。”
布蘭農(nóng)先生借了一輛汽車。他、辛格先生、米克的爸爸帶著她和波西婭,一起上了車。除了她,沒人知道巴伯的感受是什么樣的。沒人知道,他逃跑實(shí)際上是為了逃命。
除了地上斑駁的月光,波西婭家里一片漆黑。他們一邁進(jìn)門去,便感覺得到兩個房間里都沒有人。波西婭點(diǎn)亮前面的油燈。兩個房間里散發(fā)著一種混雜的味道,墻上擠擠挨挨地貼滿了剪貼畫,桌上鋪著蕾絲桌布,床上放著蕾絲枕頭。巴伯并不在里面。
“他來過這里?!辈ㄎ鲖I突然說,“我看得出有人來過這里?!?/p>
辛格先生在廚房桌子上找到一支筆和一張紙。他迅速看了一遍,然后他們都看著這張紙。字跡圓潤但凌亂,除了一個單詞,這個聰明的小孩其他的詞都拼寫得很正確。便條上寫道:
親愛的波西婭:
我去佛羅里達(dá)了。跟大家說一聲。
你誠摯的,
巴伯·凱利
他們站在那里,大吃一驚,一籌莫展。她爸爸望著門外,焦慮地用大拇指挖著鼻子。他們都準(zhǔn)備鉆到車?yán)?,然后?qū)車前往南去的公路。
“等等,”米克說,“巴伯盡管只有七歲,但他很聰明,如果真要逃跑的話,他不會告訴我們他要跑到哪里去,關(guān)于佛羅里達(dá)的話只是個花招?!?/p>
“花招?”她爸爸說。
“是的。巴伯熟悉的地方只有兩個,一個是佛羅里達(dá),另一個是亞特蘭大。巴伯、拉爾夫和我曾經(jīng)去過通往亞特蘭大的公路很多次。他知道從那里怎么走,他肯定去那里了。他以前一直說,如果有機(jī)會去亞特蘭大他要做些什么?!?/p>
他們出門,又上了汽車。她正準(zhǔn)備爬上后座,波西婭突然捏住她的胳膊肘?!澳阒腊筒闪耸裁磫幔俊辈ㄎ鲖I平靜地說,“別告訴任何人,但我的巴伯把我的金耳環(huán)從梳妝臺上拿走了。我從來沒想到,我的巴伯能對我做出這種事來?!?/p>
布蘭農(nóng)先生發(fā)動了汽車。他們開得很慢,一邊在街上仔細(xì)搜尋著巴伯,一邊朝通往亞特蘭大的公路開去。
的確,巴伯身上有一種強(qiáng)硬刻薄的特性。今天,他的舉止跟以往迥然不同。在此之前,他一直是個安靜的小孩,從來沒干過真正刻薄的事情。如果傷害了誰的感情,他總會感覺羞愧和緊張。那么,他怎么能干出今天的這些事情來呢?
他們緩緩駛上通往亞特蘭大的公路,經(jīng)過最后一排房子來到漆黑的田野和樹林邊。一路上他們不斷停下來,打聽是否有人見過巴伯?!坝袥]有一個穿燈芯絨褲子、光著腳的小孩經(jīng)過這里?”然而,即便他們走了十英里,也沒有人說見過或注意過他。風(fēng)從開著的車窗吹進(jìn)來,寒冷,強(qiáng)勁。已經(jīng)是深夜了。
他們又往前開了一點(diǎn),然后折返回鎮(zhèn)上。她爸爸和布蘭農(nóng)先生想去問問所有二年級的孩子,但她讓他們掉了頭,又回到通往亞特蘭大的公路上。她一直記得跟巴伯說過的那些話,巴比死了,辛辛監(jiān)獄,勞斯典獄長,等等,還說過跟他個頭兒一般大的小電椅,還有地獄。黑暗之中,這些話聽起來非??膳?。
他們緩慢地開出鎮(zhèn)子,走了約莫半英里,然后她猛然看見了巴伯。汽車的燈光清晰地照見了走在前面的他,樣子很滑稽。他正沿著路邊走,伸出大拇指,想要搭車。他腰帶上別著波西婭的切肉刀,在寬闊漆黑的大路上他顯得那么小,不像七歲,倒像個五歲的孩子。
他們停下車,他跑過來要鉆進(jìn)車?yán)铩K床灰娷嚴(yán)锸钦l,臉上露出那種斜著眼睛的表情,跟以前玩彈珠瞄準(zhǔn)時一樣。她爸爸一把抓住他的領(lǐng)子,一通拳打腳踢。然后,他一把抓起那把切肉刀,他們的爸爸及時地一把從他手里奪過了刀子。他像中了圈套的小老虎那樣掙扎著,但最終還是被他們拖進(jìn)了車?yán)?。回去的路上,他們的爸爸把巴伯放在腿上,巴伯僵直地坐著,什么也不倚靠?/p>
他們必須得把他拖進(jìn)屋,所有鄰居和房客都出來看熱鬧。他們把他拖進(jìn)前屋,到了屋里,他退縮到角落里,緊攥著拳頭,瞇起眼睛,挨個兒看著屋里的人,好像隨時要對抗整個人群。
自從進(jìn)了屋子,他一句話都沒說,最后他開始大聲尖叫:“是米克干的!我沒干,是米克干的!”
巴伯發(fā)出一種從未有人聽過的尖叫聲,他脖子上青筋暴突,兩只拳頭攥得像小石頭一樣。
“你們抓不住我!誰也抓不住我!”他一直在大叫。
米克晃晃他的肩膀,告訴他她之前說的話都是編的。他終于明白了她說的話,但他不肯停止尖叫,好像什么都無法阻擋那種尖叫。
“我恨所有人!我恨所有人!”
他們都站在旁邊。布蘭農(nóng)先生搓著鼻子,看著地板。終于,他悄悄地出去了。辛格先生似乎是唯一知道怎么回事的人,也許這是因?yàn)樗麤]有聽見那種可怕的叫喊。他的臉上仍然很平靜,巴伯每次看他,都似乎更安靜了。辛格先生跟所有人都不一樣,在類似今天這樣的時候,如果人們讓他來處理,會好得多。他更理智,他知道的事情很多普通人并不懂。他就那么望著巴伯,過了一會兒,孩子安靜下來,他們的爸爸可以把他抱到床上去了。
他臉朝下趴在床上,哭個不停。他哭了很久,哭得很厲害,這讓他全身顫抖。他哭了一個小時,三個房間里的人都沒法入睡。比爾搬到了起居室的沙發(fā)上,米克跟巴伯一起躺在床上。他不讓她碰他,也不讓她挨著他。他一邊哭一邊打嗝,又過了一個小時,他睡著了。
她久久不能入睡。黑暗中,她用雙臂摟著他,摟得很緊。她撫摸著他的全身,又吻遍他的全身。他那么柔軟,那么小,身上散發(fā)著男孩子的那種咸味。她心中充滿了對他強(qiáng)烈的愛,讓她使勁摟著他,最后她的胳膊都麻了。在腦子里,她同時想著巴伯和音樂,仿佛她對他無論多好都不夠。她再也不會打他,再也不會耍弄他了。她雙手抱著他的頭,就這樣睡了一晚上。然后,她早晨醒來的時候,他不見了。
那晚之后,她再也沒有多少機(jī)會耍弄他了——她或別人,都沒有機(jī)會。打傷巴比之后,這個孩子再也不像小巴伯了。他總是沉默,不跟任何人打交道。大多時候,他就一個人那么坐在后院或者煤屋里。圣誕節(jié)越來越近。她真的想要一架鋼琴,但關(guān)于這個,她自然什么也不會說。她跟所有人說,她想要一塊米老鼠手表。他們問巴伯想讓圣誕老人送他什么,他說什么都不要。他把彈珠和折疊刀藏了起來,也不讓任何人動他的故事書。
那晚之后,沒有人再叫他巴伯。鄰居的大孩子們喊他巴比-殺手·凱利,但他不大跟別人搭腔,似乎也沒有什么事情會煩擾到他。家人叫他的真名——喬治。起初,米克還是忍不住叫他巴伯,她也不想改。但很奇怪,大約一個星期后,她很自然地跟其他人一起叫他喬治了。但這個孩子——喬治——變了,他總是獨(dú)來獨(dú)往,老氣橫秋的樣子,沒有人知道他腦子里在想什么,即便是她,也是如此。
圣誕前夜,她跟他一起睡,他躺在黑暗中一言不發(fā)?!皠e再表現(xiàn)得這么奇怪了,”她對他說,“我們聊聊那些聰明人,還有,聊聊荷蘭孩子是怎么不掛襪子而是掛木鞋的。”
喬治沒應(yīng)聲。他睡著了。
早晨,她四點(diǎn)起床,叫醒所有家人。他們的爸爸在前屋生了火,然后讓他們到圣誕樹底下看看自己有什么禮物。喬治得到一套意大利西裝,拉爾夫得到一個橡皮娃娃,家里其他人得到的都是衣服。她把自己的襪子翻了個遍,想找米老鼠手表,卻沒有發(fā)現(xiàn)。她的禮物是一雙棕色牛津鞋,還有一盒櫻桃糖果。盡管天還沒亮,她和喬治已來到人行道上,砸巴西果,放鞭炮,又吃光了一整盒兩層的櫻桃糖果。天光大亮的時候,他們覺得肚子不舒服,也筋疲力盡了。她躺倒在沙發(fā)上,閉上眼進(jìn)入“里屋”的世界。
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