Caleb Plummer and his Blind Daughter lived all alone by themselves, as the Story Books say—and my blessing, with yours, to back it I hope, on the Story Books, for saying anything in this work-a-day world!—Caleb Plummer and his Blind Daughter lived all alone by themselves, in a little cracked nutshell of a wooden house, which was, in truth, no better than a pimple on the prominent red-brick nose of Gruff and Tackleton. The premises of Gruff and Tackleton were the great feature of the street;but you might have knocked down Caleb Plummer's dwelling with a hammer or two, and carried off the pieces in a cart.
If any one had done the dwelling-house of Caleb Plummer the honour to miss it after such an inroad, it would have been, no doubt, to commend its demolition as a vast improvement. It stuck to the premises of Gruff and Tackleton like a barnacle to a ship's keel, or a snail to a door, or a little bunch of toadstools to the stem of a tree.But it was the germ from which the full-grown trunk of Gruff and Tackleton had sprung;and, under its crazy roof, the Gruff before lasthad, in a small way, made toys for a generation of old boys and girls, who had played with them, and found them out, and broken them, and gone to sleep.
I have said that Caleb and his poor Blind Daughter lived here. I should have said that Caleb lived here, and his poor Blind Daughter somewhere else—in an enchanted home of Caleb's furnishing, where scarcity and shabbiness were not, and trouble never entered.Caleb was no sorcerer;but in the only magic art that still remains to us, the magic of devoted, deathless love, Nature had been the mistress of his study;and, from her teaching, all the wonder came.
The Blind Girl never knew that ceilings were discoloured, walls blotched and bare of plaster here and there, high crevices unstopped and widening every day, beams mouldering and tending downward. The Blind Girl never knew that iron was rusting, wood rotting, paper peeling off;the size, and shape, and true proportion of the dwelling, withering away.The Blind Girl never knew that ugly shapes of delf and earthenware were on the board;that sorrow and faint-heartedness were in the house;that Caleb's scanty hairs were turning greyer and more grey before her sightless face.The Blind Girl never knew they had a master, cold, exacting, and uninterested—never knew that Tackleton was Tackleton, in short;but lived in the belief of an eccentric humorist, who loved to have his jest with them, and who, while he was the Guardian Angel of their lives, disdained to hear one word of thankfulness.
And all was Caleb's doing;all the doing of her simple father! ;But he, too, had a Cricket on his Hearth;and listening sadly to its music when the motherless Blind Child was very young that Spirit had inspired him with the thought that even her great deprivation might be almost changed into a blessing, and the girl made happy by these little means. For all the Cricket tribe are potent Spirits, even though the people who hold converse with them do not know it(which is frequently the case),and there are not in the unseen world voices more gentle and more true, that may be so implicitly relied on, or that are so certain to give none but tenderest counsel, as the Voices in which the Spirits of the Fireside and the Hearth address themselves to humankind.
Caleb and his daughter were at work together in their usual working-room, which served them for their ordinary living-room as well;and a strange place it was. There were houses in it, fnished and unfnished, for Dolls of all stations in life.Suburban tenements for Dolls of moderate means;kitchens and single apartments for Dolls of the lower classes;capital town residences for Dolls of high estate.Some of these establishments were already furnished according to estimate, with a view to the convenience of Dolls of limited income;others could be fitted on the most expensive scale, at a moment's notice, from whole shelves of chairs and tables, sofas, bedsteads, and upholstery.The nobility and gentry and public in general, for whose accommodation these tenements were designed, lay here and there, in baskets, staring straight up at the ceiling;but in denoting their degrees in society, and confining them to their respective stations(which experience shows to be lamentably diffcult in real life),the makers of these Dolls had far improved on Nature, who is often froward and perverse;for they, not resting on such arbitrary marks as satin, cotton print, and bits of rag, had superadded striking personal differences which allowed of no mistake.Thus, the Doll-lady of distinction had wax limbs of perfect symmetry;but only she and her compeers.The next grade in the social scale being made of leather, and the next of coarse linen stuff.As to the common people, they had just so many matches out of tinder-boxes for their arms and legs, and there they were—established in their sphere at once, beyond the possibility of getting out of it.
There were various other samples of his handicraft besides Dolls in Caleb Plummer's room. There were Noah's arks, in which the Birds and Beasts were an uncommonly tight fit, I assure you;though they could be crammed in, anyhow, at the roof, and rattled and shaken into the smallest compass.By a bold poetical licence, most of these Noah's arks had knockers on the doors;inconsistent appendages, perhaps, as suggestive of morning callers and a Postman, yet a pleasant fnish to the outside of the building.There were scores of melancholy little carts, which, when the wheels went round, performed most doleful music.Many small fiddles, drums, and other instruments of torture;no end of cannon, shields, swords, spears, and guns.There were little tumblers in red breeches, incessantly swarming up high obstacles of red tape, and coming down, head frst, on the other side;and there were innumerable old ;gentlemen of respectable, not to say venerable appearance, insanely flying over horizontal pegs, inserted, for the purpose, in their own street-doors.There were beasts of all sorts;horses, in particular, of every breed, from the spotted barrel on four pegs with a small tippet for a mane, to the thorough-bred rocker on his highest mettle.As it would have been hard to count the dozens upon dozens of grotesque fgures that were ever ready to commit all sorts of absurdities on the turning of a handle, so it would have been no easy task to mention any human folly, vice, or weakness that had not its type, immediate or remote, in Caleb Plummer's room.And not in an exaggerated form, for very little handles will move men and women to as strange performances as any Toy was ever made to undertake.
In the midst of all these objects, Caleb and his daughter sat at work. The Blind Girl busy as a Doll's dressmaker;Caleb painting and glazing the four-pair front of a desirable family mansion.
The care imprinted in the lines of Caleb's face, and his absorbed and dreamy manner, which would have sat well on some alchemist or abstruse student, were at frst sight an odd contrast to his occupation and the trivialities about him. But trivial things, invented and pursued for bread, become very serious matters of fact:and, apart from this consideration, I am not at all prepared to say, myself, that if Caleb had been a Lord Chamberlain, or a Member of Parliament, or a lawyer, or even a great speculator, he would have dealt in toys one whit less whimsical, while I have a very great doubt whether they would have been as harmless.
“So you were out in the rain last night, father, in your beautiful new great-coat,”said Caleb's daughter.
“In my beautiful new great-coat,”answered Caleb, glancing towards a clothes-line in the room, on which the sackcloth garment previously described was carefully hung up to dry.
“How glad I am you bought it, father!”
“And of such a tailor too,”said Caleb.“Quite a fashionable tailor. It's too good for me.”
The Blind Girl rested from her work, and laughed with delight.
“Too good, father!What can be too good for you?”
“I'm half ashamed to wear it, though,”said Caleb, watching the effect of what he said upon her brightening face,“upon my word!When I hear the boys and people say behind me,‘Halloa!Here's a swell!'I don't know which way to look. And when the beggar wouldn't go away last night;and, when I said I was a very common man, said,‘No, your Honour!Bless your Honour, don’t say that!’I was quite ashamed.I really felt as if I hadn’t a right to wear it.”
Happy Blind Girl!How merry she was in her exultation!
“I see you, father,”she said, clasping her hands,“as plainly as if I had the eyes I never want when you are with me. A blue coat—”
“Bright blue,”said Caleb.
“Yes, yes!Bright blue!”exclaimed the girl, turning up her radiant face;“the colour I can just remember in the blessed sky!You told me it was blue before!A bright blue coat—”
“Made loose to the fgure,”suggested Caleb.
“Yes!loose to the figure!”cried the Blind Girl, laughing heartily;“and in it, you, dear father, with your merry eye, your smiling face, your free step, and your dark hair—looking so young and handsome!”
“Halloa!Halloa!”said Caleb.“I shall be vain presently!”
“I think you are already,”cried the Blind Girl, pointing at him in her glee.“I know you, father!Ha, ha, ha!I've found you out, you see!”
How different the picture in her mind, from Caleb, as he sat observing her!She had spoken of his free step. She was right in that.For years and years he had never once crossed that threshold at his own slow pace, but with a footfall counterfeited for her ear;and never had he, when his heart was heaviest, forgotten the light tread that was to render hers so cheerful and courageous!
Heaven knows!But I think Caleb's vague bewilderment of manner may have half originated in his having confused himself about himself and everything around him, for the love of his Blind Daughter. How could the little man be otherwise than bewildered, after labouring for so many years to destroy his own identity, and that of all the objects that had any bearing on it?
“There we are,”said Caleb, falling back a pace or two to form the better judgment of his work;“as near the real thing as sixpenn'orth of halfpence is to sixpence. What a pity that the whole front of the house opens at once!If there was only a staircase in it now, and regular doors to the rooms to go in at!But that's the worstof my calling, I'm always deluding myself, and swindling myself.”
“You are speaking quite softly. You are not tired, father?”
“Tired!”echoed Caleb with a great burst of animation.“What should tire me, Bertha?I was never tired. What does it mean?”
To give the greater force to his words, he checked himself in an involuntary imitation of two half-length stretching and yawning fgures on the mantel-shelf, who were represented as in one eternal state of weariness from the waist upwards;and hummed a fragment of a song. It was a Bacchanalian song, something about a Sparkling Bowl.He sang it with an assumption of a Devil-may-care voice, that made his face a thousand times more meagre and more thoughtful than ever.
“What!You're singing, are you?”said Tackleton, putting his head in at the door.“Go it!I can't sing.”
Nobody would have suspected him of it. He hadn't what is generally termed a singing face, by any means.
“I can't afford to sing,”said Tackleton.“I'm glad you can. I hope you can afford to work too.Hardly time for both, I should think?”
“If you could only see him, Bertha, how he's winking at me!”whispered Caleb.“Such a man to joke!You'd think, if you didn't know him, he was in earnest—wouldn't you now?”
The Blind Girl smiled and nodded.
“The bird that can sing and won't sing must be made to sing, they say,”grumbled Tackleton.“What about the owl that can't sing, ;and oughtn't to sing, and will sing;is there anything that he should be made to do?”
“The extent to which he's winking at this moment!”whispered Caleb to his daughter.“Oh, my gracious!”
“Always merry and light-hearted with us!”cried the smiling Bertha.
“Oh!you're there, are you?”answered Tackleton.“Poor Idiot!”
He really did believe she was an Idiot;and he founded the belief, I can't say whether consciously or not, upon her being fond of him.
“Well!and being there,—how are you?”said Tackleton in his grudging way.
“Oh!well;quite well!And as happy as even you can wish me to be. As happy as you would make the whole world, if you could!”
“Poor Idiot!”muttered Tackleton.“No gleam of reason. Not a gleam!”
The Blind Girl took his hand and kissed it;held it for a moment in her own two hands;and laid her cheek against it tenderly before releasing it. There was such unspeakable affection and such fervent gratitude in the act, that Tackleton himself was moved to say, in a milder growl than usual:
“What's the matter now?”
“I stood it close beside my pillow when I went to sleep last night, and remembered it in my dreams. And when the day broke, and the glorious red sun—the red sun, father?”
“Red in the mornings and the evenings, Bertha,”said poor Caleb, with a woeful glance at his employer.
“When it rose, and the bright light I almost fear to strike myself against in walking, came into the room, I turned the little tree towards it, and blessed Heaven for making things so precious, and blessed you for sending them to cheer me!”
“Bedlam broke loose!”said Tackleton under his breath.“We shall arrive at the strait-waistcoat and muffers soon. We're getting on!”
Caleb, with his hands hooked loosely in each other, stared vacantly before him while his daughter spoke, as if he really were uncertain(I believe he was)whether Tackleton had done anything to deserve her thanks or not. If he could have been a perfectly free agent at that moment, required, on pain of death, to kick the toy merchant, or fall at his feet, according to his merits, I believe it would have been an even chance which course he would have taken.Yet Caleb knew that with his own hands he had brought the little rose-tree home for her so carefully, and that with his own lips he had forged the innocent deception which should help to keep her from suspecting how much, how very much, he every day denied himself, that she might be happier.
“Bertha!”said Tackleton, assuming, for the nonce, a little cordiality.“Come here.”
“Oh, I can come straight to you!You needn't guide me!”she rejoined.
“Shall I tell you a secret, Bertha?”
“If you will!”she answered eagerly.
How bright the darkened face!How adorned with light the listening head!
“This is the day on which little what's-her-name, the spoilt child, Peerybingle's wife, pays her regular visit to you—makes her fantastic Picnic here, an't it?”said Tackleton with a strong expression of distaste for the whole concern.
“Yes,”replied Bertha.“This is the day.”
“I thought so,”said Tackleton.“I should like to join the party.”
“Do you hear that, father?”cried the Blind Girl in an ecstasy.
“Yes, yes, I hear it,”murmured Caleb with the fixed look of a sleep-walker;“but I don't believe it. It's one of my lies, I've no doubt.”
“You see I—I want to bring the Peerybingles a little more into company with May Fielding,”said Tackleton.“I'm going to be married to May.”
“Married!”cried the Blind Girl, starting from him.
“She's such a con-founded idiot,”muttered Tackleton,“that I was afraid she'd never comprehend me. Ah, Bertha!Married!Church, parson, clerk, beadle, glass coach, bells, breakfast, bridecake, favours, marrow-bones, cleavers, and all the rest of the tomfoolery.A wedding, you know;a wedding.Don't you know what a wedding is?”
“I know,”replied the Blind Girl in a gentle tone.“I understand!”“Do you?”muttered Tackleton.“It's more than I expected. Well!On that account I want to join the party, and to bring May and her mother.I'll send in a little something or other, before the afternoon.A cold leg of mutton, or some comfortable trife of that sort.You'll expect me?”
“Yes,”she answered.
She had drooped her head, and turned away;and so stood, with her hands crossed, musing.
“I don't think you will,”muttered Tackleton, looking at her;“for you seem to have forgotten all about it already. Caleb!”
“I may venture to say I'm here, I suppose,”thought Caleb.“Sir!”
“Take care she don't forget what I've been saying to her.”
“She never forgets,”returned Caleb.“It's one of the few things she an't clever in.”
“Every man thinks his own geese swans,”observed the toy merchant with a shrug.“Poor devil!”
Having delivered himself of which remark with infinite contempt, old Gruff and Tackleton withdrew.
Bertha remained where he had left her, lost in meditation. The gaiety had vanished from her downcast face, and it was very sad.Three or four times she shook her head, as if bewailing some remembrance or some loss;but her sorrowful reflections found no vent in words.
It was not until Caleb had been occupied some time in yoking a team of horses to a waggon by the summary process of nailing the ;harness to the vital parts of their bodies, that she drew near to his working-stool, and, sitting down beside him, said:
“Father, I am lonely in the dark. I want my eyes, my patient, willing eyes.”
“Here they are,”said Caleb.“Always ready. They are more yours than mine, Bertha, any hour in the four-and-twenty.What shall your eyes do for you, dear?”
“Look round the room, father.”
“All right,”said Caleb.“No sooner said than done, Bertha.”
“Tell me about it.”
“It's much the same as usual,”said Caleb.“Homely, but very snug. The gay colours on the walls;the bright fowers on the plates and dishes;the shining wood, where there are beams or panels;the general cheerfulness and neatness of the building,—make it very pretty.”
Cheerful and neat it was, wherever Bertha's hands could busy themselves. But nowhere else were cheerfulness and neatness possible in the old crazy shed which Caleb's fancy so transformed.
“You have your working dress on, and are not so gallant as when you wear the handsome coat?”said Bertha, touching him.
“Not quite so gallant,”answered Caleb.“Pretty brisk, though.”
“Father,”said the Blind Girl, drawing close to his side, and stealing one arm round his neck,“tell me something about May. She is very fair?”
“She is indeed,”said Caleb. And she was indeed.It was quite arare thing to Caleb not to have to draw on his invention.
“Her hair is dark,”said Bertha pensively,“darker than mine. Her voice is sweet and musical, I know.I have often loved to hear it.Her shape—”
“There's not a Doll's in all the room to equal it,”said Caleb.“And her eyes!—”
He stopped;for Bertha had drawn closer round his neck, and, from the arm that clung about him, came a warning pressure which he understood too well.
He coughed a moment, hammered for a moment, and then fell back upon the song about the sparkling bowl, his infallible resource in all such diffculties.
“Our friend, father, our benefactor. I am never tired, you know, of hearing about him.—Now, was I ever?”she said hastily.
“Of course not,”answered Caleb,“and with reason.”
“Ah!With how much reason!”cried the Blind Girl. With such fervency, that Caleb, though his motives were so pure, could not endure to meet her face;but dropped his eyes, as if she could have read in them his innocent deceit.
“Then tell me again about him, dear father,”said Bertha.“Many times again!His face is benevolent, kind, and tender. Honest and true, I am sure it is.The manly heart that tries to cloak all favours with a show of roughness and unwillingness, beats in its every look and glance.”
“And makes it noble,”added Caleb in his quiet desperation.
“And makes it noble,”cried the Blind Girl.“He is older than May, father.”
“Ye-es,”said Caleb reluctantly.“He's a little older than May. But that don't signify.”
“Oh, father, yes!To be his patient companion in infrmity and age;to be his gentle nurse in sickness, and his constant friend in suffering and sorrow;to know no weariness in working for his sake;to watch him, tend him, sit beside his bed and talk to him awake, and pray for him asleep;what privileges these would be!What opportunities for proving all her truth and her devotion to him!Would she do all this, dear father?”
“No doubt of it,”said Caleb.
“I love her, father;I can love her from my soul!”exclaimed the Blind Girl. And, saying so, she laid her poor blind face on Caleb's shoulder, and so wept and wept, that he was almost sorry to have brought that tearful happiness upon her.
In the meantime there had been a pretty sharp commotion at John Peerybingle's, for little Mrs. Peerybingle naturally couldn't think of going anywhere without the Baby;and to get the Baby under way took time.Not that there was much of the Baby, speaking of it as a thing of weight and measure, but there was a vast deal to do about and about it, and it all had to be done by easy stages.For instance, when the Baby was got, by hook and by crook, to a certain point of dressing, and you might have rationally supposed that anothertouch or two would fnish him off, and turn him out a tiptop Baby challenging the world, he was unexpectedly extinguished in a fannel cap, and hustled off to bed;where he simmered(so to speak)between two blankets for the best part of an hour.From this state of inaction he was then recalled, shining very much and roaring violently, to partake of—well?I would rather say, if you'll permit me to speak generally—of a slight repast.After which he went to sleep again.Mrs.Peerybingle took advantage of this interval, to make herself as smart in a small way as ever you saw anybody in all your life;and, during the same short truce, Miss Slowboy insinuated herself into a spencer of a fashion so surprising and ingenious, that it had no connection with herself, or anything else in the universe, but was a shrunken, dog's-eared, independent fact, pursuing its lonely course without the least regard to anybody.By this time, the Baby, being all alive again, was invested, by the united efforts of Mrs.Peerybingle and Miss Slowboy, with a cream-coloured mantle for its body, and a sort of nankeen raised pie for its head;and so, in course of time, they all three got down to the door, where the old horse had already taken more than the full value of his day's toll out of the Turnpike Trust, by tearing up the road with his impatient autographs;and whence Boxer might be dimly seen in the remote perspective, standing looking back, and tempting him to come on without orders.
As to a chair, or anything of that kind for helping Mrs. Peerybingle into the cart, you know very little of John, if you think that was necessary.Before you could have seen him lift her from the ;ground, there she was in her place, fresh and rosy, saying,“John!How can you?Think of Tilly!”
If I might be allowed to mention a young lady's legs on any terms, I would observe of Miss Slowboy's that there was a fatality about them which rendered them singularly liable to be grazed;and that she never effected the smallest ascent or descent without recording the circumstance upon them with a notch, as Robinson Crusoe marked the days upon his wooden calendar. But, as this might be considered ungenteel, I'll think of it.
“John!You've got the basket with the Veal and Ham Pie and things, and the bottles of Beer?”said Dot.“If you haven't, you must turn round again this very minute.”
“You're a nice little article,”returned the Carrier,“to be talking about turning round, after keeping me a full quarter of an hour behind my time.”
“I am sorry for it, John,”said Dot in a great bustle,“but I really could not think of going to Bertha's—I would not do it, John, on any account—without the Veal and Ham Pie and things, and the bottles of Beer. Way!”
This monosyllable was addressed to the horse, who didn't mind it at all.
“Oh, do way, John!”said Mrs. Peerybingle.“Please!”
“It'll be time enough to do that,”returned John,“when I begin to leave things behind me. The basket's safe enough.”
“What a hard-hearted monster you must be, John, not to havesaid so at once, and save me such a turn!I declare I wouldn't go to Bertha's without the Veal and Ham Pie and things, and the bottles of Beer, for any money. Regularly once a fortnight ever since we have been married, John, have we made our little Picnic there.If anything was to go wrong with it, I should almost think we were never to be lucky again.”
“It was a kind thought in the frst instance,”said the Carrier;“and I honour you for it, little woman.”
“My dear John!”replied Dot, turning very red.“Don't talk about honouring me. Good gracious!”
“By-the-bye—”observed the Carrier—“that old gentleman—”
Again so visibly and instantly embarrassed!
“He's an odd fsh,”said the Carrier, looking straight along the road before them.“I can't make him out. I don't believe there's any harm in him.”
“None at all. I'm—I'm sure there's none at all.”
“Yes,”said the Carrier, with his eyes attracted to her face by the great earnestness of her manner.“I am glad you feel so certain of it, because it's a confirmation to me. It's curious that he should have taken it into his head to ask leave to go on lodging with us;an't it?Things come about so strangely.”
“So very strangely,”she rejoined in a low voice, scarcely audible.
“However, he's a good-natured old gentleman,”said John,“and pays as a gentleman, and I think his word is to be relied upon, like ;a gentleman's. I had quite a long talk with him this morning:he can hear me better already, he says, as he gets more used to my voice.He told me a great deal about himself, and I told him a good deal about myself, and a rare lot of questions he asked me.I gave him information about my having two beats, you know, in my business;one day to the right from our house and back again;another day to the left from our house and back again(for he's a stranger, and don't know the names of places about here);and he seemed quite pleased.‘Why, then I shall be returning home tonight your way,'he says,‘when I thought you’d be coming in an exactly opposite direction.That’s capital!I may trouble you for another lift, perhaps, but I’ll engage not to fall so sound asleep again.’He was sound asleep, sure-ly!—Dot!what are you thinking of?”
“Thinking of, John?I—I was listening to you.”
“Oh!That's all right!”said the honest Carrier.“I was afraid, from the look of your face, that I had gone rambling on so long as to set you thinking about something else. I was very near it, I'll be bound.”
Dot making no reply, they jogged on, for some little time, in silence. But, it was not easy to remain silent very long in John Peerybingle's cart, for everybody on the road had something to say.Though it might only be“How are you?”and, indeed, it was very often nothing else, still, to give that back again in the right spirit of cordiality, required, not merely a nod and a smile, but as wholesome an action of the lungs withal as a long-winded Parliamentary speech.Sometimes, passengers on foot, or horseback, plodded on a little way beside the cart, for the express purpose of having a chat;and then there was a great deal to be said on both sides.
Then, Boxer gave occasion to more good-natured recognitions of, and by, the Carrier, than half-a-dozen Christians could have done!Everybody knew him all along the road—especially the fowls and pigs, who, when they saw him approaching, with his body all on one side, and his ears pricked up inquisitively, and that knob of a tail making the most of itself in the air, immediately withdrew into remote back-settlements, without waiting for the honour of a nearer acquaintance. He had business elsewhere;going down all the turnings, looking into all the wells, bolting in and out of all the cottages, dashing into the midst of all the Dame Schools, futtering all the pigeons, magnifying the tails of all the cats, and trotting into the public-houses like a regular customer.Wherever he went, somebody or other might have been heard to cry,“Halloa!here's Boxer!”and out came that somebody forthwith, accompanied by at least two or three other somebodies, to give John Peerybingle and his pretty wife Good day.
The packages and parcels for the errand cart were numerous;and there were many stoppages to take them in and give them out, which were not by any means the worst parts of the journey. Some people were so full of expectation about their parcels, and other people were so full of wonder about their parcels, and other people were so full of inexhaustible directions about their parcels, and John ;had such a lively interest in all the parcels, that it was as good as a play.Likewise, there were articles to carry, which required to be considered and discussed, and in reference to the adjustment and disposition of which councils had to be holden by the Carrier and the senders:at which Boxer usually assisted, in short fts of the closest attention, and long fits of tearing round and round the assembled sages, and barking himself hoarse.Of all these little incidents, Dot was the amused and open-eyed spectatress from her chair in the cart;and as she sat there, looking on—a charming little portrait framed to admiration by the tilt—there was no lack of nudgings and glancings and whisperings and envyings among the younger men.And this delighted John the Carrier beyond measure;for he was proud to have his little wife admired, knowing that she didn't mind it—that, if anything, she rather liked it perhaps.
The trip was a little foggy, to be sure, in the January weather;and was raw and cold. But who cared for such trifles?Not Dot, decidedly.Not Tilly Slowboy, for she deemed sitting in a cart, on any terms, to be the highest point of human joys;the crowning circumstance of earthly hope.Not the Baby, I'll be sworn;for it's not in Baby nature to be warmer or more sound asleep, though its capacity is great in both respects, than that blessed young Peerybingle was, all the way.
You couldn't see very far in the fog, of course;but you could see a great deal!It's astonishing how much you may see in a thicker fog than that, if you will only take the trouble to look for it. Why, even to sit watching for the Fairyrings in the fields, and for the patches of hoar frost still lingering in the shade, near hedges and by trees, was a pleasant occupation, to make no mention of the unexpected shapes in which the trees themselves came starting out of the mist, and glided into it again.The hedges were tangled and bare, and waved a multitude of blighted garlands in the wind;but there was no discouragement in this.It was agreeable to contemplate;for it made the freside warmer in possession, and the summer greener in expectancy.The river looked chilly;but it was in motion, and moving at a good pace—which was a great point.The canal was rather slow and torpid;that must be admitted.Never mind.It would freeze the sooner when the frost set fairly in, and then there would be skating and sliding;and the heavy old barges, frozen up somewhere near a wharf, would smoke their rusty iron chimney-pipes all day, and have a lazy time of it.
In one place there was a great mound of weeds or stubble burning;and they watched the fre, so white in the daytime, faring through the fog, with only here and there a dash of red in it, until, in consequence, as she observed, of the smoke“getting up her nose,”Miss Slowboy choked—she could do anything of that sort, on the smallest provocation—and woke the Baby, who wouldn't go to sleep again. But Boxer, who was in advance some quarter of a mile or so, had already passed the outposts of the town, and gained the corner of the street where Caleb and his daughter lived;and, long before they had reached the door, he and the Blind Girl were on the pavement ;waiting to receive them.
Boxer, by the way, made certain delicate distinctions of his own, in his communication with Bertha, which persuade me fully that he knew her to be blind. He never sought to attract her attention by looking at her, as he often did with other people, but touched her invariably.What experience he could ever have had of blind people or blind dogs I don't know.He had never lived with a blind master;nor had Mr.Boxer the elder, nor Mrs.Boxer, nor any of his respectable family on either side, ever been visited with blindness, that I am aware of.He may have found it out for himself, perhaps, but he had got hold of it somehow;and therefore he had hold of Bertha too, by the skirt, and kept hold, until Mrs.Peerybingle and the Baby, and Miss Slowboy and the basket, were all got safely within doors.
May Fielding was already come;and so was her mother—a little querulous chip of an old lady with a peevish face, who, in right of having preserved a waist like a bedpost, was supposed to be a most transcendent fgure;and who, in consequence of having once been better off, or of labouring under an impression that she might have been, if something had happened which never did happen, and seemed to have never been particularly likely to come to pass—but it's all the same—was very genteel and patronising indeed. Gruff and Tackleton was also there, doing the agreeable, with the evident sensation of being as perfectly at home, and as unquestionably in his own element, as a fresh young salmon on the top of the GreatPyramid.
“May!My dear old friend!”cried Dot, running up to meet her.“What a happiness to see you!”
Her old friend was, to the full, as hearty and as glad as she;and it really was, if you'll believe me, quite a pleasant sight to see them embrace. Tackleton was a man of taste, beyond all question.May was very pretty.
You know sometimes, when you are used to a pretty face, how, when it comes into contact and comparison with another pretty face, it seems for the moment to be homely and faded, and hardly to deserve the high opinion you have had of it. Now, this was not at all the case, either with Dot or May;for May's face set off Dot's, and Dot's face set off May's, so naturally and agreeably, that, as John Peerybingle was very near saying when he came into the room, they ought to have been born sisters—which was the only improvement you could have suggested.
Tackleton had brought his leg of mutton, and, wonderful to relate, a tart besides—but we don't mind a little dissipation when our brides are in the case;we don't get married every day—and, in addition to these dainties, there were the Veal and Ham Pie, and“things,”as Mrs. Peerybingle called them;which were chiefy nuts and oranges, and cakes, and such small deer.When the repast was set forth on the board, flanked by Caleb's contribution, which was a great wooden bowl of smoking potatoes(he was prohibited, by solemn compact, from producing any other viands),Tackleton led ;his intended mother-in-law to the post of honour.For the better gracing of this place at the high festival, the majestic old soul had adorned herself with a cap, calculated to inspire the thoughtless with sentiments of awe.She also wore her gloves.But let us be genteel, or die!
Caleb sat next his daughter;Dot and her old schoolfellow were side by side;the good Carrier took care of the bottom of the table. Miss Slowboy was isolated, for the time being, from every article of furniture but the chair she sat on, that she might have nothing else to knock the Baby's head against.
As Tilly stared about her at the dolls and toys, they stared at her and at the company. The venerable old gentlemen at the street-doors(who were all in full action)showed especial interest in the party, pausing occasionally before leaping, as if they were listening to the conversation, and then plunging wildly over and over, a great many times, without halting for breath—as in a frantic state of delight with the whole proceedings.
Certainly, if these old gentlemen were inclined to have a fiendish joy in the contemplation of Tackleton's discomfiture, they had good reason to be satisfed. Tackleton couldn't get on at all;and the more cheerful his intended bride became in Dot's society, the less he liked it, though he had brought them together for that purpose.For he was a regular dog in the manger, was Tackleton;and, when they laughed and he couldn't, he took it into his head, immediately, that they must be laughing at him.
“Ah, May!”said Dot.“Dear, dear, what changes!To talk of those merry school days makes one young again.”
“Why, you an't particularly old at any time, are you?”said Tackleton.
“Look at my sober, plodding husband there,”returned Dot.“He adds twenty years to my age at least. Don't you, John?”
“Forty,”John replied.
“How many you'll add to Mary's, I am sure I don't know,”said Dot, laughing.“But she can't be much less than a hundred years of age on her next birthday.”
“Ha, ha!”laughed Tackleton. Hollow as a drum that laugh, though.And he looked as if he could have twisted Dot's neck comfortably.
“Dear, dear!”said Dot.“Only to remember how we used to talk, at school, about the husbands we would choose. I don't know how young, and how handsome, and how gay, and how lively mine was not to be!And as to May's!—Ah dear!I don't know whether to laugh or cry, when I think what silly girls we were.”
May seemed to know which to do;for the colour flashed into her face, and tears stood in her eyes.
“Even the very persons themselves—real live young men—we fxed on sometimes,”said Dot.“We little thought how things would come about. I never fixed on John, I'm sure;I never so much as thought of him.And, if I had told you you were ever to be married to Mr.Tackleton, why, you'd have slapped me.Wouldn't you, May?”
Though May didn't say yes, she certainly didn't say no, or express no, by any means.
Tackleton laughed—quite shouted, he laughed so loud. John Peerybingle laughed too, in his ordinary good-natured and contented manner;but his was a mere whisper of a laugh to Tackleton's.
“You couldn't help yourselves, for all that. You couldn't resist us, you see,”said Tackleton.“Here we are!Here we are!Where are your gay young bridegrooms now?”
“Some of them are dead,”said Dot;“and some of them forgotten. Some of them, if they could stand among us at this moment, would not believe we were the same creatures;would not believe that what they saw and heard was real, and we could forget them so.No!they would not believe one word of it!”
“Why, Dot!”exclaimed the Carrier.“Little woman!”
She had spoken with such earnestness and fire, that she stood in need of some recalling to herself, without doubt. Her husband's check was very gentle, for he merely interfered, as he supposed, to shield old Tackleton;but it proved effectual, for she stopped, and said no more.There was an uncommon agitation, even in her silence, which the wary Tackleton, who had brought his half-shut eye to bear upon her, noted closely, and remembered to some purpose too.
May uttered no word, good or bad, but sat quite still, with her eyes cast down, and made no sign of interest in what had passed. The good lady her mother now interposed, observing, in the frst instance, that girls were girls, and bygones bygones, and that, so long as youngpeople were young and thoughtless, they would probably conduct themselves like young and thoughtless persons:with two or three other positions of a no less sound and incontrovertible character.She then remarked, in a devout spirit, that she thanked Heaven she had always found in her daughter May a dutiful and obedient child:for which she took no credit to herself, though she had every reason to believe it was entirely owing to herself.With regard to Mr.Tackleton, she said, That he was in a moral point of view an undeniable individual, and That he was in an eligible point of view a son-in-law to be desired, no one in their senses could doubt.(She was very emphatic here.)With regard to the family into which he was so soon about, after some solicitation, to be admitted, she believed Mr.Tackleton knew that, although reduced in purse, it had some pretensions to gentility;and that if certain circumstances, not wholly unconnected, she would go so far as to say, with the Indigo Trade, but to which she would not more particularly refer, had happened differently, it might perhaps have been in possession of wealth.She then remarked that she would not allude to the past, and would not mention that her daughter had for some time rejected the suit of Mr.Tackleton;and that she would not say a great many other things which she did say at great length.Finally, she delivered it as the general result of her observation and experience, that those marriages in which there was least of what was romantically and sillily called love, were always the happiest;and that she anticipated the greatest possible amount of bliss—not rapturous bliss;but the solid, steady-going article—from the approaching nuptials.She concluded by informing the company that tomorrow was the day she had lived for expressly;and that, when it was over, she would desire nothing better than to be packed up and disposed of in any genteel place of burial.
As these remarks were quite unanswerable—which is the happy property of all remarks that are sufficiently wide of the purpose—they changed the current of the conversation, and diverted the general attention to the Veal and Ham Pie, the cold mutton, the potatoes, and the tart. In order that the bottled beer might not be slighted, John Peerybingle proposed Tomorrow:the Wedding-day;and called upon them to drink a bumper to it, before he proceeded on his journey.
For you ought to know that he only rested there, and gave the old horse a bait. He had to go some four or fve miles farther on;and, when he returned in the evening, he called for Dot, and took another rest on his way home.This was the order of the day on all the Picnic occasions, and had been ever since their institution.
There were two persons present, besides the bride and bridegroom elect, who did but indifferent honour to the toast. One of these was Dot, too flushed and discomposed to adapt herself to any small occurrence of the moment;the other, Bertha, who rose up hurriedly before the rest, and left the table.
“Good-bye!”said stout John Peerybingle, pulling on his dreadnought coat.“I shall be back at the old time. Good-bye all!”
“Good-bye, John,”returned Caleb.
He seemed to say it by rote, and to wave his hand in the sameunconscious manner;for he stood observing Bertha with an anxious wondering face, that never altered its expression.
“Good-bye, young shaver!”said the jolly Carrier, bending down to kiss the child;which Tilly Slowboy, now intent upon her knife and fork, had deposited asleep(and, strange to say, without damage)in a little cot of Bertha's furnishing;“good-bye!Time will come, I suppose, when you'll turn out into the cold, my little friend, and leave your old father to enjoy his pipe and his rheumatics in the chimney-corner;eh?Where's Dot?”
“I'm here, John!”she said, starting.
“Come, come!”returned the Carrier, clapping his sounding hands.“Where's the pipe?”
“I quite forgot the pipe, John.”
Forgot the pipe!Was such a wonder ever heard of?She!Forgot the pipe!
“I'll—I'll fll it directly. It's soon done.”
But it was not so soon done, either. It lay in the usual place—the Carrier's dreadnought pocket—with the little pouch, her own work, from which she was used to fill it;but her hand shook so, that she entangled it(and yet her hand was small enough to have come out easily, I am sure),and bungled terribly.The flling of the pipe and lighting it, those little offces in which I have commended her discretion, were vilely done from frst to last.During the whole process, Tackleton stood looking on maliciously with the half-closed eye;which, whenever it met hers—or caught it, for it can hardly ;be said to have ever met another eye:rather being a kind of trap to snatch it up—augmented her confusion in a most remarkable degree.
“Why, what a clumsy Dot you are this afternoon!”said John.“I could have done it better myself, I verily believe!”
With these good-natured words, he strode away, and presently was heard, in company with Boxer, and the old horse, and the cart, making lively music down the road. What time the dreamy Caleb still stood, watching his blind daughter, with the same expression on his face.
“Bertha!”said Caleb, softly.“What has happened?How changed you are, my darling, in a few hours—since this morning!You silent and dull all day!What is it?Tell me!”
“Oh, father, father!”cried the Blind Girl, bursting into tears.“Oh, my hard, hard fate!”
Caleb drew his hand across his eyes before he answered her.
“But think how cheerful and how happy you have been, Bertha!How good, and how much loved, by many people.”
“That strikes me to the heart, dear father!Always so mindful of me!Always so kind to me!”
Caleb was very much perplexed to understand her.
“To be—to be blind, Bertha, my poor dear,”he faltered,“is a great affiction;but—”
“I have never felt it!”cried the Blind Girl.“I have never felt it in its fulness. Never!I have sometimes wished that I could see you, or could see him—only once, dear father, only for one little minute—that I might know what it is I treasure up,”she laid her hands upon her breast,“and hold here!That I might be sure I have it right!And sometimes(but then I was a child)I have wept in my prayers at night, to think that, when your images ascended from my heart to Heaven, they might not be the true resemblance of yourselves.But I have never had these feelings long.They have passed away, and left me tranquil and contented.”
“And they will again,”said Caleb.
“But, father!Oh, my good gentle father, bear with me, if I am wicked!”said the Blind Girl.“This is not the sorrow that so weighs me down!”
Her father could not choose but let his moist eyes overfow;she was so earnest and pathetic. But he did not understand her yet.
“Bring her to me,”said Bertha.“I cannot hold it closed and shut within myself. Bring her to me, father!”
She knew he hesitated, and said,“May. Bring May!”
May heard the mention of her name, and, coming quietly towards her, touched her on the arm. The Blind Girl turned immediately, and held her by both hands.
“Look into my face, Dear heart, Sweet heart!”said Bertha.“Read it with your beautiful eyes, and tell me if the truth is written on it.”
“Dear Bertha, yes!”
The Blind Girl, still upturning the blank sightless face, down which the tears were coursing fast, addressed her in these words:
“There is not, in my soul, a wish or thought that is not for your ;good, bright May!There is not, in my soul, a grateful recollection stronger than the deep remembrance which is stored there of the many many times when, in the full pride of sight and beauty, you have had consideration for Blind Bertha, even when we two were children, or when Bertha was as much a child as ever blindness can be!Every blessing on your head!Light upon your happy course!Not the less, my dear May,”—and she drew towards her in a closer grasp,—“not the less, my bird, because, today, the knowledge that you are to be His wife has wrung my heart almost to breaking!Father, May, Mary!Oh, forgive me that it is so, for the sake of all he has done to relieve the weariness of my dark life:and for the sake of the belief you have in me, when I call Heaven to witness that I could not wish him married to a wife more worthy of his goodness!”
While speaking, she had released May Fielding's hands, and clasped her garments in an attitude of mingled supplication and love. Sinking lower and lower down, as she proceeded in her strange confession, she dropped at last at the feet of her friend, and hid her blind face in the folds of her dress.
“Great Power!”exclaimed her father, smitten at one blow with the truth,“have I deceived her from her cradle, but to break her heart at last?”
It was well for all of them that Dot, that beaming, useful, busy little Dot—for such she was, whatever faults she had, and however you may learn to hate her, in good time—it was well for all of them, I say, that she was there, or where this would have ended, it were hardto tell. But Dot, recovering her self-possession, interposed, before May could reply, or Caleb say another word.
“Come, come, dear Bertha!come away with me!Give her your arm, May!So. How composed she is, you see, already;and how good it is of her to mind us,”said the cheery little woman, kissing her upon the forehead.“Come away, dear Bertha!Come!and here's her good father will come with her, won't you, Caleb?To—be—sure!”
Well, well!she was a noble little Dot in such things, and it must have been an obdurate nature that could have withstood her influence. When she had got poor Caleb and his Bertha away, that they might comfort and console each other, as she knew they only could, she presently came bouncing back,—the saying is, as fresh as any daisy;I say fresher—to mount guard over that bridling little piece of consequence in the cap and gloves, and prevent the dear old creature from making discoveries.
“So bring me the precious Baby, Tilly,”said she, drawing a chair to the fre;“and while I have it in my lap, here's Mrs. Fielding, Tilly, will tell me all about the management of Babies, and put me right in twenty points where I'm as wrong as can be.Won't you, Mrs.Fielding?”
Not even the Welsh Giant, who, according to the popular expression, was so“slow”as to perform a fatal surgical operation upon himself, in emulation of a juggling trick achieved by his arch enemy at breakfast-time;not even he fell half so readily into the snare prepared for him as the old lady into this artful pitfall. The fact ;of Tackleton having walked out;and furthermore, of two or three people having been talking together at a distance, for two minutes, leaving her to her own resources;was quite enough to have put her on her dignity, and the bewailment of that mysterious convulsion in the Indigo Trade, for four-and-twenty hours.But this becoming deference to her experience, on the part of the young mother, was so irresistible, that after a short affectation of humility, she began to enlighten her with the best grace in the world;and, sitting bolt upright before the wicked Dot, she did, in half an hour, deliver more infallible domestic recipes and precepts than would(if acted on)have utterly destroyed and done up that Young Peerybingle, though he had been an Infant Samson.
To change the theme, Dot did a little needlework—she carried the contents of a whole workbox in her pocket;however she contrived it, I don't know—then did a little nursing;then a little more needlework;then had a little whispering chat with May, while the old lady dozed;and so in little bits of bustle, which was quite her manner always, found it a very short afternoon. Then, as it grew dark, and as it was a solemn part of this Institution of the Picnic that she should perform all Bertha's household tasks, she trimmed the fire, and swept the hearth, and set the tea-board out, and drew the curtain, and lighted a candle.Then she played an air or two on a rude kind of harp, which Caleb had contrived for Bertha, and played them very well;for Nature had made her delicate little ear as choice a one for music as it would have been for jewels, if she had had any to wear.By this time it was the established hour for having tea;and Tackleton came back again to share the meal, and spend the evening.
Caleb and Bertha had returned some time before, and Caleb had sat down to his afternoon's work. But he couldn't settle to it, poor fellow, being anxious and remorseful for his daughter.It was touching to see him sitting idle on his working stool, regarding her so wistfully, and always saying in his face,“Have I deceived her from her cradle, but to break her heart?”
When it was night, and tea was done, and Dot had nothing more to do in washing up the cups and saucers;in a word—for I must come to it, and there is no use in putting it off—when the time drew nigh for expecting the Carrier's return in every sound of distant wheels, her manner changed again, her colour came and went, and she was very restless. Not as good wives are when listening for their husbands.No, no, no.It was another sort of restlessness from that.
Wheels heard. A horse's feet.The barking of a dog.The gradual approach of all the sounds.The scratching paw of Boxer at the door!
“Whose step is that?”cried Bertha, starting up.
“Whose step?”returned the Carrier, standing in the portal, with his brown face ruddy as a winter berry from the keen night air.“Why, mine.”
“The other step,”said Bertha.“The man's tread behind you!”
“She is not to be deceived,”observed the Carrier, laughing.“Come along, sir. You'll be welcome, never fear!”
He spoke in a loud tone;and, as he spoke, the deaf old ;gentleman entered.
“He's not so much a stranger that you haven't seen him once, Caleb,”said the Carrier.“You'll give him house room till we go?”
“Oh, surely, John, and take it as an honour!”
“He's the best company on earth to talk secrets in,”said John.“I have reasonable good lungs, but he tries'em I can tell you. Sit down, sir.All friends here, and glad to see you!”
When he had imparted this assurance, in a voice that amply corroborated what he had said about his lungs, he added in his natural tone,“A chair in the chimney-corner, and leave to sit quite silent and look pleasantly about him, is all he cares for. He's easily pleased.”
Bertha had been listening intently. She called Caleb to her side, when he had set the chair, and asked him, in a low voice, to describe their visitor.When he had done so(truly now, with scrupulous fidelity),she moved, for the first time since he had come in, and sighed, and seemed to have no further interest concerning him.
The Carrier was in high spirits, good fellow that he was, and fonder of his little wife than ever.
“A clumsy Dot she was, this afternoon!”he said, encircling her with his rough arm, as she stood, removed from the rest;“and yet I like her somehow. See yonder, Dot!”
He pointed to the old man. She looked down.I think she trembled.
“He's—ha, ha, ha!—he's full of admiration for you!”said the Carrier.“Talked of nothing else the whole way here. Why, he's abrave old boy!I like him for it!”
“I wish he had a better subject, John,”she said with an uneasy glance about the room. At Tackleton especially.
“A better subject!”cried the jovial John.“There's no such thing. Come!off with the great-coat, off with the thick shawl, off with the heavy wrappers!and a cosy half-hour by the fre.My humble service, mistress.A game at cribbage, you and I?That's hearty.The cards and board, Dot.And a glass of beer here, if there's any left, small wife!”
His challenge was addressed to the old lady, who, accepting it with gracious readiness, they were soon engaged upon the game. At first, the Carrier looked about him sometimes with a smile, or now and then called Dot to peep over his shoulder at his hand, and advise him on some knotty point.But his adversary being a rigid disciplinarian, and subject to an occasional weakness in respect of pegging more than she was entitled to, required such vigilance on his part, as left him neither eyes nor ears to spare.Thus, his whole attention gradually became absorbed upon the cards;and he thought of nothing else, until a hand upon his shoulder restored him to a consciousness of Tackleton.
“I am sorry to disturb you—but a word directly.”
“I'm going to deal,”returned the Carrier.“It's a crisis.”
“It is,”said Tackleton.“Come here, man!”
There was that in his pale face which made the other rise immediately, and ask him, in a hurry, what the matter was.
“Hush!John Peerybingle,”said Tackleton,“I am sorry for this. I ;am indeed.I have been afraid of it.I have suspected it from the frst.”
“What is it?”asked the Carrier with a frightened aspect.
“Hush!I'll show you, if you'll come with me.”
The Carrier accompanied him without another word. They went across a yard, where the stars were shining, and by a little side-door, into Tackleton's own counting-house, where there was a glass window, commanding the ware-room, which was closed for the night.There was no light in the counting-house itself, but there were lamps in the long narrow ware-room;and consequently the window was bright.
“A moment!”said Tackleton.“Can you bear to look through that window, do you think?”
“Why not?”returned the Carrier.
“A moment more,”said Tackleton.“Don't commit any violence. It's of no use.It's dangerous too.You're a strong-made man;and you might do murder before you know it.”
The Carrier looked him in the face, and recoiled a step as if he had been struck. In one stride he was at the window, and he saw——
Oh, Shadow on the Hearth!Oh, truthful Cricket!Oh, perfdious wife!
He saw her with the old man—old no longer, but erect and gallant—bearing in his hand the false white hair that had won his way into their desolate and miserable home. He saw her listening to him, as he bent his head to whisper in her ear;and suffering him to clasp her round the waist, as they moved slowly down the dim woodengallery towards the door by which they had entered it.He saw them stop, and saw her turn—to have the face, the face he loved so, so presented to his view!—and saw her, with her own hands, adjust the lie upon his head, laughing, as she did it, at his unsuspicious nature!
He clenched his strong right hand at first, as if it would have beaten down a lion. But, opening it immediately again, he spread it out before the eyes of Tackleton(for he was tender of her even then),and so, as they passed out, fell down upon a desk, and was as weak as any infant.
He was wrapped up to the chin, and busy with his horse and parcels, when she came into the room, prepared for going home.
“Now, John dear!Good night, May!Good night, Bertha!”
Could she kiss them?Could she be blithe and cheerful in her parting?Could she venture to reveal her face to them without a blush?Yes. Tackleton observed her closely, and she did all this.
Tilly was hushing the baby, and she crossed and recrossed Tackleton a dozen times, repeating drowsily:
“Did the knowledge that it was to be its wives, then, wring its hearts almost to breaking;and did its fathers deceive it from its cradles but to break its hearts at last!”
“Now, Tilly, give me the Baby!Good night, Mr. Tackleton.Where's John, for goodness'sake?”
“He's going to walk beside the horse's head,”said Tackleton;who helped her to her seat.
“My dear John!Walk?Tonight?”
The muffled figure of her husband made a hasty sign in the affrmative;and, the false stranger and the little nurse being in their places, the old horse moved off. Boxer, the unconscious Boxer, running on before, running back, running round and round the cart, and barking as triumphantly and merrily as ever.
When Tackleton had gone off likewise, escorting May and her mother home, poor Caleb sat down by the fre beside his daughter;anxious and remorseful at the core;and still saying, in his wistful contemplation of her,“Have I deceived her from her cradle, but to break her heart at last?”
The toys that had been set in motion for the Baby had all stopped and run down long ago. In the faint light and silence, the imperturbably calm dolls, the agitated rocking-horses with distended eyes and nostrils, the old gentlemen at the street-doors, standing half doubled up upon their failing knees and ankles, the wry-faced nut-crackers, the very Beasts upon their way into the Ark, in twos, like a Boarding-School out walking, might have been imagined to be stricken motionless with fantastic wonder at Dot being false, or Tackleton beloved, under any combination of circumstances.
凱萊布·普盧默和他的盲女像故事書上說的那樣,兩個人孤孤單單地生活著——我希望你支持我祝福這些故事,因為在這個凡俗的世界上竟然有此一說!——凱萊布·普盧默和他的盲女兩個人孤孤單單地生活在一所破破爛爛的、小得可憐的木屋里,如果把格拉夫和泰克爾頓的紅磚房比作一只鼻子的話,這座屋子,說真的,還不如鼻子上的一顆粉刺。格拉夫和泰克爾頓的宅邸是那條街上的偉大事物;而凱萊布·普盧默的房屋,你一兩下就能把它捶倒,一車子就能把碎木片拉走。
要是凱萊布·普盧默的房屋遭到這種侵害之后,誰竟然發(fā)現(xiàn)它失蹤了,他無疑會將它的毀壞稱贊為一次巨大的改革。這座屋子跟格拉夫和泰克爾頓的宅邸連在一起,就像藤壺粘在船的龍骨上,或者蝸牛爬在門板上,或者一小簇毒菌長在樹枝上一樣。不過,格拉夫和泰克爾頓這株粗壯的大樹樹干正是從它這株幼芽成長起來的;而且,就在這歪歪斜斜的屋頂下面,格拉夫的祖先曾經(jīng)為過去一代的男女孩童小規(guī)模地生產(chǎn)玩具,那些孩童玩著這些玩具,發(fā)現(xiàn)它們過時,把它們拆壞,然后這些玩具就與世長辭了。
我說過凱萊布和他可憐的盲女生活在這里。我應(yīng)該說凱萊布生活在這里,他的可憐的盲女則生活在別的什么地方——生活在凱萊布所布置的一個奇幻的家里,那兒沒有貧困和破爛,煩惱也從未侵入過。凱萊布不是一個魔法師,然而那仍然遺留在我們心中的唯一魔法,那深摯的、不死的愛的魔法,在這方面,大自然做了他學(xué)習(xí)的師傅;在她的傳授下,一切奇跡都出現(xiàn)了。
盲女孩兒從來不知道天花板已經(jīng)變了色,墻壁上到處斑斑點點,灰泥剝落,深深的裂縫每天在延長和加寬,梁木腐朽,搖搖欲墜。盲女孩兒從來不知道鐵質(zhì)生銹,木頭爛掉,紙張剝離;房屋的大小、形狀和實際的面積在萎縮下去。盲女孩兒從來不知道桌子上放的是樣子難看的荷蘭陶器和瓦罐;不知道憂愁和沮喪籠罩著屋子;不知道在她視而不見的眼睛前面,凱萊布稀少的頭發(fā)變得越來越白。盲女孩兒從來不知道他們有一個冷酷、苛刻和索然無味的主人——從來不知道泰克爾頓總歸是泰克爾頓;卻一直認(rèn)為他是一個奇怪的幽默家,愛跟他們開玩笑,是他們生活的保護(hù)神,卻不屑于聽到一句感恩戴德的話。
這一切全是凱萊布的法術(shù),全是她的單純的父親的法術(shù)!不過他的爐邊也有一只蟋蟀;失去母親的盲孩子還很小的時候,父親悲傷地聆聽著它的鳴唱,這個精靈使他感悟到,即使重大的缺失,也幾乎可以轉(zhuǎn)變?yōu)樾腋#谑桥⒆泳蛻{借這個方法得到快樂。蟋蟀世家全體都是有魔力的精靈,雖然同它們接觸的人并不知道這一點(這是常有的情況);在那看不見的世界里,沒有哪種聲音能夠比爐灶邊的精靈對人類傾訴衷腸的聲音更溫柔,更真實,使人可以絕對信賴,并且可以十分肯定它除了給人以最親切的勸告之外,沒有別的。
凱萊布和女兒在他們平日做工的屋子里一同工作;這間屋子他們平常也作為起居室。這是一個奇怪的地方,里面有許多完工的和未完工的房屋,給各種身份的娃娃居住,比如中層階級的娃娃的郊區(qū)住屋,下層階級的娃娃的廚房和單身公寓,上層階級的娃娃的豪華的城市公館。這些房屋當(dāng)中,有的里面已經(jīng)有了陳設(shè),這是按照估計并且考慮收入有限的娃娃的方便而置備的;還有的,可以拿木架上擺滿的桌椅、沙發(fā)、床架和窗簾臺布等,立刻裝配起來,適合最奢侈的階級使用。貴族、紳士和平民大眾橫七豎八地躺在籃子里,眼睛直愣愣地瞧著天花板,那些房屋正是為了安頓它們而設(shè)計的;在表示它們所屬的社會階級,確定它們各自的身份地位這方面(經(jīng)驗說明,這一點在實際生活中非常難以確定),這些娃娃的制造者大大勝過了常常是剛愎自用和頑固不化的“造物主”;因為他們并不一味依仗緞子、印花布,以及碎片條這類武斷的標(biāo)記,而是添加了更不容誤置的顯著的個人特點。因此,貴婦人娃娃配著十分勻稱的蠟制四肢;不過,只有它和跟它地位同等的娃娃才這樣。社會地位比它低一等的娃娃,則用皮制;再低一等的,則用粗布料制。至于平民大眾,它們的手臂和腿就用很多從火絨箱里抽出來的火柴制成,它們就是這樣——一旦確定了身份,就沒有逾矩的可能。
凱萊布·普盧默的屋子里除了娃娃之外,還有他的其他種種手工藝品,比如,“挪亞方舟”,我向你保證,那飛禽走獸擠在里面是異乎尋常地局促;然而不管怎樣還是可以把它們從船頂上塞進(jìn)去,咯嗒咯嗒地?fù)u成最緊的一團(tuán)。出于一種大膽的詩意的遐想,大部分“挪亞方舟”的艙門上都裝有門環(huán);這或許是不合理的附屬物,因為它使人想起早上的訪客和郵遞員來,然而卻是建筑物外部一個可喜的裝置。這兒還有許許多多滿懷憂傷的小貨車,車輪滾起來,就會奏出最最悲哀的音樂。還有許多小巧的提琴、鼓,以及其他折磨人的樂器;無數(shù)大炮、盾牌、刀劍、長矛和槍支。還有穿紅褲子的翻跟頭小人兒,不停地爬上高處一根紅帶子的障礙物,然后頭下腳上打另一邊翻過去;還有不計其數(shù)雖非德高望重,卻是道貌岸然的老紳士,瘋狂地跳過特為它們嵌在沿街大門口的一根根平置的木釘。還有各式各樣的野獸,尤其是所有品種的馬,從斑斑點點的圓身子裝上四根木條、繞上一條小圍巾做鬃毛的馬,到威風(fēng)凜凜的純種搖動木馬,應(yīng)有盡有。成千上萬個稀奇古怪的東西,只要將鑰匙一轉(zhuǎn),便會做出種種荒謬可笑的事情來。這些怪物多得難以計數(shù),因此,要舉出人類哪一樁蠢事、惡行,或者缺陷,在凱萊布·普盧默的屋子里,沒有其直接或者間接的表征,這也是不易辦到的事。這并不是言過其實,因為小小的手柄就能使得男男女女做出種種奇形怪狀的動作,正像任何被設(shè)計如何動作的玩偶一樣。
凱萊布和女兒就坐在這些物品中間工作著。盲女孩兒忙著做娃娃的成衣,凱萊布在給一幢漂亮的四開間住宅的門面上油漆,鑲玻璃。
凱萊布臉上的皺紋里隱藏著憂愁,帶著十分適合于煉金術(shù)士或者深奧的學(xué)者的失魂落魄的、懵懵懂懂的神情,一眼看去,這副樣子同他的職業(yè),以及周圍微不足道的東西,形成奇怪的對照。然而,如果發(fā)明創(chuàng)造是為了果腹,再微不足道的東西也變成了非常嚴(yán)肅的事物。撇開這個情況不談,我自己還是完全不準(zhǔn)備說,如果凱萊布是一位宮內(nèi)大臣、國會議員、律師,或者即使是大投機商的話,他做玩具的時候,就會減少一點奇思怪想,不過我極其懷疑他們這些人是否會像他一樣沒有壞心眼兒。
“爸爸,昨天晚上,你是穿著那件漂亮的新大衣冒雨出去的嗎?”凱萊布的女兒說。
“是穿著那件漂亮的新大衣?!眲P萊布回答,眼睛望望屋子里的一根晾衣繩,上文描寫過的那件麻袋布做的大衣,正小心地掛在上面晾干。
“爸爸,你買了那件衣服,我多么高興!”
“而且還是那樣的裁縫呢,”凱萊布說,“相當(dāng)時髦的裁縫。我簡直不配?!?/p>
盲女兒停下了手中的工作,開心地笑起來:“不配,爸爸!你有什么東西會不配?”
“可是我穿起來有些難為情,”凱萊布說,打量這句話在她欣喜的臉上引起的反應(yīng),“的確是這樣!我聽見孩子和大人在我后面說:‘啊呀,多摩登哪!’這時候我簡直抬不起頭來。昨天晚上,叫花子死纏著不放的時候,我說我是個非常普通的人,他說:‘不,老爺!上天保佑您老爺不要說這種話!’我真難為情死了。我實在覺得自己沒有權(quán)利穿這件衣服?!?/p>
幸福的盲女孩兒!她樂得心花怒放,高興得不得了!
“爸爸,我看見你了,”她拍手說,“就像我有了眼睛一樣,清清楚楚的。你在我身邊的時候我可從不需要這雙眼睛。我看見一件藍(lán)色大衣——”
“天藍(lán)色的。”凱萊布說。
“對啦,對啦!天藍(lán)色的!”女孩兒仰起容光煥發(fā)的臉喊道,“這種顏色我正可以從神圣的天空想起來!你從前跟我說天空是藍(lán)色的!一件天藍(lán)色的大衣——”
“做得大大的?!眲P萊布補充說。
“做得大大的!”盲女孩兒縱聲大笑著喊道,“親愛的爸爸,你穿了那件衣服,眼睛笑瞇瞇的,臉上樂滋滋的,步子輕快,頭發(fā)烏黑——看起來多么年輕、漂亮?。 ?/p>
“啊呀!啊呀!”凱萊布叫道,“那我一定會得意揚揚了!”
“我想你已經(jīng)這樣了,”盲女孩兒興高采烈地指著他嚷道,“我知道你,爸爸!哈,哈,哈!你瞧,我已經(jīng)猜出來啦!”
她心中的景象跟坐在那兒瞧著她的凱萊布是多么不同啊!她說他步子輕快,倒沒有說錯。許多年以來,他從來沒有用自己緩慢的步履跨進(jìn)門檻,而是用欺瞞她耳朵的腳步聲;即使在心情最沉重的時候,他也從來沒有忘記要用會讓她的心充滿愉快和勇氣的輕快的腳步聲!
天知道!不過我認(rèn)為凱萊布迷迷糊糊的神情,可能一半是由于目盲的女兒的緣故,才使他自己和周圍的一切把他自己搞昏了頭。這個瘦小的人,許多年來的辛勞就是為了要消除他自己的個性,以及所有跟他的個性有關(guān)聯(lián)的東西的個性,他不變得迷迷糊糊的,又會怎樣呢?
“咳,瞧吧,”凱萊布說著往后退了一兩步,以便更好地鑒賞自己的作品,“簡直跟真的一樣,就像值六個便士的半便士跟一枚六便士一樣。多么可惜,房子的正面一下子整個兒開開了!哎,要是里邊有樓梯,走到每個房間都有門,那可多么好!不過這是我的職業(yè)的最壞的缺點,我老是糊弄自己,蒙騙自己?!?/p>
“你的話音很微弱。爸爸,你累了吧?”
“累了!”凱萊布忽然生氣勃勃地應(yīng)聲說,“蓓莎,什么東西會使我累?我從來不累。累是什么意思?”
壁爐架上有兩個伸懶腰、打呵欠的半身像,腰部以上永遠(yuǎn)表現(xiàn)處于疲倦的一種狀態(tài);凱萊布不由自主地模仿起來,然而為了使自己的話增加分量,又忍住了,卻哼起一段歌曲來。這是酒神的信徒之歌,唱的是關(guān)于一只閃閃發(fā)光的酒杯的事。他用一種漫不經(jīng)心的嗓音唱,反而使他的臉瘦了一千倍,而且比平常更為愁眉不展。
“怎么!你唱起歌來了?”泰克爾頓在門外伸進(jìn)頭來說,“唱呀,我可不會唱。”
誰也沒有認(rèn)為他會唱。他絲毫沒有通常所謂的唱歌的人該有的臉蛋兒。
“我沒有閑工夫唱歌,”泰克爾頓說,“我高興你倒有。我希望你也有工夫做工才好。不大有時間兩者兼顧吧,我想?”
“蓓莎,要是你能看見他怎么對我眨眼睛,那多好!”凱萊布輕聲說,“要是你不知道他,你會想,這樣的人會開玩笑嗎?他是說真的呢——你此刻不是這樣想嗎?”
盲女孩兒點頭微笑。
“人家說,會唱而不唱的鳥必須使它唱,”泰克爾頓粗聲粗氣地說,“那么不會唱,不該唱,而一定要唱的貓頭鷹該怎么辦呢?難道有什么理由必須使它唱嗎?”
“他這時候眼睛的神氣呀!”凱萊布對女兒輕聲說,“哦,我的天!”
“對我們總是這樣輕松愉快!”微笑的蓓莎大聲說。
“哦,你在這兒,是嗎?”泰克爾頓應(yīng)聲說,“可憐的白癡!”
他真的認(rèn)為她是個白癡,而且我不知道他是不是有意識的,這種想法就是以她喜歡他作為根據(jù)。
“嗯,既然在這兒——你好嗎?”泰克爾頓不樂意地說。
“哦!好,很好。而且很快樂,正像你希望我的那樣;正像你能辦到的話,一定會給予全世界的那樣的快樂。”
“可憐的白癡!”泰克爾頓咕噥著說,“一點不通人情,一點也不!”
盲女孩兒拿起他的手親親;又雙手握了它一會兒,把她的面頰溫柔地貼一會兒,才放開。這個舉動里包含著那樣不可言喻的感情和那樣熱烈的感激,連泰克爾頓也不免受到感動,用比平常柔和些的咆哮聲說:
“這是怎么回事?”
“我昨天晚上睡覺的時候,把它緊緊挨在枕頭邊上放著,夢里都想起它來。天亮的時候,燦爛的紅太陽——是紅太陽吧,爸爸?”
“早晨和傍晚是紅的,蓓莎?!笨蓱z的凱萊布用焦慮的目光瞟著他的雇主說。
“紅太陽升起來,那明亮的光線讓我?guī)缀跖伦约涸谧邉拥臅r候讓它碰著我;它照進(jìn)來了,我就把那株小樹轉(zhuǎn)過來對著它,同時贊美上帝創(chuàng)造了這樣美好的東西,并感謝你送了來使我快樂!”
“瘋?cè)嗽航o打開啦!”泰克爾頓悄沒聲兒地說,“咱們馬上就要用拘束衣和消聲器了。咱們快了!”
女兒講話的時候,凱萊布兩只手無力地勾在一起,茫然直視,好像真的拿不準(zhǔn)(我相信他是真的)泰克爾頓究竟做過什么值得她感謝的事沒有。在這當(dāng)口,如果他有任意行動的自由,要他冒死踢那個玩具商,或者依據(jù)他的功績對他下跪,兩者擇其一,我相信可能性是完全相等的。不過,凱萊布心里明白,是他自己的雙手那樣小心翼翼地把那一小株玫瑰捧回家來送給她的,也是他自己的嘴編造了無辜的謊話,為的是可以使女兒不至于懷疑他每天都做了許多、許許多多的犧牲,目的是要女兒更快樂些。
“蓓莎!”泰克爾頓暫時偽裝出一點親熱的聲調(diào)說,“到這兒來?!?/p>
“哦!我能一直走到你那兒!你不必引導(dǎo)我!”她答應(yīng)說。
“蓓莎,我告訴你一個秘密好嗎?”
“只要你愿意!”她急切地回答。
那黯然的臉變得多有神采!那側(cè)耳傾聽的頭映照著多么明亮的光輝!
“那個叫小什么的慣壞了的孩子,那個皮瑞賓格爾的太太,定期來拜訪你們——在這里進(jìn)行她的奇妙的聚餐,今天就是這樣的日子,對不對?”泰克爾頓說,語氣中表示對這整個事情極為鄙視。
“對啦,”蓓莎回答,“今天就是這樣的日子。”
“我說是的嘛,”泰克爾頓說,“我愿意加入這個聚會?!?/p>
“爸爸,你聽見了嗎!”盲女孩兒叫著,興奮得不得了。
“是的,是的,我聽見了,”凱萊布喃喃地說,眼睛直愣愣的,像個夢游人,“不過我不信。我毫不懷疑這又是我的一個謊?!?/p>
“你知道,我——我打算使皮瑞賓格爾夫婦跟梅·費爾丁更親密些,”泰克爾頓說,“我要和梅結(jié)婚了?!?/p>
“結(jié)婚!”盲女孩兒從他面前倒退一步,喊著說。
“她真是一個十足的白癡,”泰克爾頓咕噥著說,“我怕她永遠(yuǎn)聽不懂我的話。喂,蓓莎!結(jié)婚!教堂、牧師、教會書記、教區(qū)小吏、玻璃馬車、大鐘、早餐、喜慶蛋糕、禮品、豬肘子以及其他種種傻玩意兒。結(jié)婚,你知道;結(jié)婚。你可知道什么叫作結(jié)婚嗎?”
“我知道,”盲女孩兒語氣溫和地回答,“我懂!”
“你懂嗎?”泰克爾頓喃喃地說,“這可出乎我意料。好吧!我就是為了這個要來參加聚會,還要帶梅和她的媽媽來。今天上午我要送一點什么來。一塊冷羊腿,或者這一類可口的東西。你要我來嗎?”
“要?!彼卮?。
她低著頭,轉(zhuǎn)過身子,交叉著雙手,站在那里思索。
“我想你不會要,”泰克爾頓瞅著她咕噥著說,“因為看樣子你已經(jīng)把什么都忘記了。凱萊布!”
“我想,我敢說,我在這兒,”凱萊布想著,嘴里說,“先生!”
“你留意別叫她忘記我剛才跟她說的話?!?/p>
“她從來不會忘記,”凱萊布回答,“這是她不夠聰明的很少幾件事情中的一件?!?/p>
“誰都把自己的笨鵝看作天鵝,”玩具商聳聳肩膀說,“可憐蟲??!”
老格拉夫和泰克爾頓極其輕蔑地說了這句話后,走了出去。
蓓莎仍然待在原來的地方,想得出神。她垂頭喪氣,臉上失去了笑容,變得十分憂郁。她搖頭,搖了三四次,好像在為什么記憶或者損失而悲愁;可是,她悲傷的心情又無以言表。
凱萊布把幾匹馬架到一輛貨車上,辦法很簡單,就是把挽具釘在馬的要害上。他這樣工作了一些時候,蓓莎才走近他的工作臺,在邊上坐下來說:
“爸爸,我在黑暗里好生孤單。我要我的眼睛,我的那雙寬容我、心甘情愿侍奉我的眼睛?!?/p>
“這就是你的眼睛,”凱萊布說,“一直在這兒哪。與其說是我的眼睛,不如說是你的,蓓莎,二十四小時之中的任何一個鐘點都是你的。你要眼睛做什么呢,親愛的?”
“把這屋子瞧個遍,爸爸。”
“好的,”凱萊布說,“我立刻照做了,蓓莎?!?/p>
“你說說這屋子。”
“跟平常一模一樣嘛,”凱萊布說,“樸素,然而舒適得很。墻上花花綠綠的;盤子、碟子里都是漂亮的花兒;光閃閃的木頭,都是梁木、鑲板;這幢房屋整個兒都精致,討人喜歡。這一切弄得這屋子可美了。”
蓓莎的雙手摸得到的地方都是又精致又討人喜歡的。但是凱萊布用幻想把它如此改造過的這間破爛老舊的小屋子里,卻沒有其他地方能說得上精致而又討人喜歡。
“你穿著工作服不像你穿上那件漂亮的外套那樣神氣吧?”蓓莎摸著他說。
“不那么神氣,”凱萊布回答,“可是相當(dāng)輕便?!?/p>
“爸爸,”這盲姑娘挨近他,輕輕地?fù)е牟弊诱f,“跟我說說梅的事情。她很好看嗎?”
“她的確不錯?!眲P萊布說。她的確不錯。凱萊布這次不必依靠虛構(gòu),這是不大有的事。
“她一頭黑發(fā),”蓓莎沉思著說,“比我的還黑。她的聲音又甜又好聽,我知道。我過去常常喜歡聽。她的體形——”
“整個屋子里沒有一個娃娃比得上她,”凱萊布說,“還有那一雙眼睛!——”
他說不下去了;因為蓓莎摟得更緊,手臂在他脖子上一壓,他太熟悉這種警告了。
他咳了一陣,敲打了一陣,然后唱起那首關(guān)于“閃光的大酒杯”的歌曲,那是他在這種困境中所能依靠的萬無一失的應(yīng)對辦法。
“爸爸,我們的朋友,我們的恩人呢?你知道,我從來都不厭倦聽聽他的事情——我厭倦過沒有呢?”她著急地說。
“當(dāng)然沒有,”凱萊布回答,“而且有充分理由?!?/p>
“啊!有多么充分的理由啊!”這個盲姑娘高聲說,那樣熱情洋溢,凱萊布雖然動機純潔無瑕,也都難以容忍自己去看她的臉,便朝地下看著,好像怕她從他眼睛里瞧出他的善意的欺騙。
“那么再跟我說說他吧,親愛的爸爸,”蓓莎說,“再說許多次!他的臉是仁愛、寬厚、親切的。誠懇而又忠實,肯定如此。一顆大丈夫的心想用一種粗暴和不心甘情愿的外表,去掩蓋住一切厚意,反而在一顧一盼之間流露出來?!?/p>
“而且使它崇高?!眲P萊布簡直不顧一切地加了一句。
“而且使它崇高!”盲姑娘喊道,“他比梅年紀(jì)大,爸爸?!?/p>
“不錯,”凱萊布勉強地說,“他比梅大一點。不過那沒有多大關(guān)系?!?/p>
“哦,爸爸,不錯!在他年老體弱的時候做他有耐心的伴侶;在他生病的時候做他溫柔的護(hù)士;在他憂愁苦惱的時候做他忠實的朋友;不知疲倦地為他工作;照料他,伺候他;在他醒來的時候坐在他床邊和他談?wù)劊凰?,為他祈禱;這些事是多么光榮!這是證實她對他完全衷心愛戴的多好的機會!她會這樣辦嗎,親愛的爸爸?”
“毫無疑問?!眲P萊布說。
“我愛她,爸爸,我能打心底里愛她!”盲姑娘嚷著說。一面說,一面把可憐的長著瞎眼的臉貼在凱萊布的肩膀上,哭成淚人兒似的,使得他差不多后悔把使人淚淋淋的幸福故事帶給她了。
這時候,在約翰·皮瑞賓格爾的屋子里發(fā)生了相當(dāng)大的騷動,因為小皮瑞賓格爾太太自然不能設(shè)想到什么地方去而不帶著嬰孩。帶著嬰孩來去,沉沉的,頗費周章。這并不是說嬰孩有多大,而是說他作為一件東西,既有重量又有體積,那么就有一大堆事情要做,為他做,而且必須不慌不忙地做好。比如說,當(dāng)你想盡辦法把嬰孩打扮到一定程度,你或許已經(jīng)有充分的理由想到,再碰他那么一兩下,就會把他整理好了,把他變成能向全世界挑戰(zhàn)的頂呱呱的嬰孩,卻意想不到他戴著法蘭絨帽子睡著了,得匆忙地將他抱到床上;在大半個鐘頭里,他在床上兩條毛毯之間呼呼地睡著了(譬如這么說)。這一蟄伏不動的階段過去之后,他光芒四射,吼聲震天,就又被人召回去吃點——什么呢?如果你允許我籠統(tǒng)地說說,那我還是這樣說的好——吃點小點心。吃過點心后,他又去睡覺了。皮瑞賓格爾太太利用這一間歇把自己稍稍打扮一下,就像你在一生中所看到的任何人那樣,打扮得漂漂亮亮。同樣在這個短暫的和平時期,施羅博埃小姐悄悄地穿上一件羊毛短上衣,其式樣之新奇美妙,跟她,或者天下任何事物,都聯(lián)系不起來;這上衣是皺攏的、邊上卷起的,有種獨立不倚的架勢,它追尋著自己孤單的旅程,絲毫也不在意任何別人。這時候,嬰孩竟然又活蹦亂跳起來了,皮瑞賓格爾太太和施羅博埃小姐共同努力把他穿戴停當(dāng),用一件奶油色的披風(fēng)包著他的身體,用一頂本色布制的發(fā)酵的餡餅式帽子蓋在他頭上。于是過了一段時間,他們?nèi)瞬畔聵莵淼介T口。那匹老馬,由于用它急躁的“親筆簽名”把馬路踏得一塌糊涂,已經(jīng)從通行稅托拉斯拿回比它一天的通行稅的全部款項還要多的錢了。在那邊,可以模模糊糊地看見拳擊手正在遠(yuǎn)處站著回望,引誘老馬不要等待命令就跟上來。
說到那把椅子,或者任何這類幫助皮瑞賓格爾太太進(jìn)入車廂中去的東西,要是你認(rèn)為那東西是必需的話,那么你對約翰就很不了解了。你還沒有看見約翰把她從地上舉起來,她已經(jīng)在她的位置上了,精神抖擻,面色紅潤,說道:“約翰!你真行!當(dāng)心蒂蕾吧!”
要是允許我提到一位年輕女士的雙腿,無論如何,我要觀察施羅博埃的,有一樁不幸的事,使得那雙腿特別容易被擦傷。不管是上去或下來一點點,她都從來沒有不在腿上把情況用傷痕記錄下來的,就像魯濱孫·克魯蘇在他的木頭日歷上把日子記下來一樣。不過提起這件事可能會被人認(rèn)為沒有禮貌,我當(dāng)考慮及此。
“約翰,你可帶了那一籃小牛肉和火腿餡餅了?還有別的東西,還有幾瓶啤酒?!毙〔稽c兒說,“要是你沒有帶,你必須再回去一趟,立刻就去。”
“你是一位有趣的小人兒,”運貨夫說,“已經(jīng)叫我耽擱了整整一刻鐘,還說什么再回去一趟?!?/p>
“對此我很抱歉,約翰,”小不點兒說,忙亂了好一陣子,“可是我不能想象——我無論如何也辦不到,約翰——到蓓莎家里去而不帶上小牛肉和火腿餡餅,以及別的東西,還有幾瓶啤酒。跑!”
這個單音節(jié)的字是對著馬兒喊的,可是它理也不理。
“哦,約翰,跑??!”皮瑞賓格爾太太說,“請你叫它跑!”
“有的是時間起跑,”約翰回答,“我這會兒正著手安排一些行前的事情。籃子在這兒,夠安全的?!?/p>
“你必定是個狠心腸的怪物,約翰,不肯馬上說出來,省得我這樣著急!我剛才聲明我不能到蓓莎家里去而不帶小牛肉和火腿餡餅,還有其他的東西,還有幾瓶啤酒,不論你給我多少錢都不行。約翰,自從我們結(jié)婚以來,我們總是每兩個星期到那兒去進(jìn)行小小的聚餐。要是有什么搞得不對頭,我?guī)缀跻J(rèn)為我們再也不會走運了?!?/p>
“一開始那就是一個好主意,”運貨夫說,“我為此而尊敬你,小婦人?!?/p>
“我親愛的約翰,”小不點兒回答,臉漲得通紅,“不要說什么尊敬我。我的天!”
“順便說說——”運貨夫說,“那位老紳士——”
又是那么明顯的、立見顏色的困惑不安!
“他是一個奇怪的家伙,”運貨夫說,直愣愣地望著他面前的那條馬路,“我摸不透他。我不相信他會有什么不好吧?!?/p>
“完全沒有。我——我敢擔(dān)保完全沒有?!?/p>
“是嗎?”運貨夫說,眼睛盯著她的臉瞧,被她那十分真摯的神態(tài)所吸引,“我很高興你那么肯定,因為這對于我來說是進(jìn)一步得到了證實。真稀奇,他竟然有那種想法,竟然要求允許他繼續(xù)和我們住在一起。不是嗎?事情發(fā)生得好奇怪啊?!?/p>
“太奇怪了?!彼涌谡f,聲音低低的,簡直聽都聽不見。
“不管怎樣,他是一位和藹可親的老紳士,”約翰說,“而且像紳士一樣付賬,我想他的話也像紳士一樣靠得住。今天早晨我跟他談了很久。他說,他對我的聲音比較習(xí)慣了,已經(jīng)能較好地聽懂我的話。他把自己的事情跟我談了很多,我也把自己的事跟他談了很多,他還問了我一大堆問題。我告訴他我的行業(yè)路線有兩條巡回線,你知道。一天從我們的房屋向右邊去,再轉(zhuǎn)回來。另外一天從我們的房屋向左邊去,再轉(zhuǎn)回來(因為他是一個陌生人,不知道這一帶的地名)。他聽了似乎很有興味。‘啊,那么今兒晚上我要按照你那條路回家了,’他說,‘我剛才還以為你要從正好相反的方向過來呢。這多妙?。』蛟S我還要麻煩你讓我乘你的車子,不過我要設(shè)法不再呼呼大睡?!墒撬麉s呼呼大睡了,錯不了!——小不點兒!你在想什么呀?”
“在想什么嗎,約翰?我——我在聽你說哪。”
“哦!很好!”誠實的運貨夫說,“從你臉上的神情看起來,我怕我談得太多,弄得你想其他的事情去了。我十分接近這一情況,我敢肯定?!?/p>
小不點兒不回答,短時間內(nèi),他們在沉默中驅(qū)馬前進(jìn)??墒?,要在約翰·皮瑞賓格爾的車子里長時間保持沉默是不容易的,因為路上每個人都有話要跟他說。雖然也許只不過是“你好!”的確也常常不是其他什么話,然而,要一再用恰當(dāng)?shù)臒嵴\的態(tài)度做出回答,需要的不僅僅是點點頭,笑一笑,還需要有益于肺部健康的動作,就像長篇大論的議會演說那樣。有時候,步行的或者騎馬的過路人在馬車旁跋涉,同走一小段路,就因為明顯的想跟人聊聊天的目的。這樣一來,雙方就有許許多多的話要說了。
于是,拳擊手帶來的人們認(rèn)識和理解運貨夫的機會,比半打基督徒所能給的還要多!在這條路上,大家都認(rèn)識它——特別是家禽和豬,一看見它走過來,斜側(cè)著身子,過分好奇地豎起耳朵,那一根尾巴在空中亂擺,它們立刻撤退到遠(yuǎn)處后面的居留地去,而不為更接近的交往的榮譽而待在原地。它到處都有事干。跑到所有的轉(zhuǎn)角去轉(zhuǎn)轉(zhuǎn),跑到所有的井口去照照,在所有的茅屋里竄來竄去,沖到所有初等小學(xué)里,把所有的鴿子都嚇得飛起來,使所有的貓尾巴都變得粗起來,并且像一位??湍菢有∨苤哌M(jìn)一家家酒店。不論它走到哪里都能聽見張三或李四喊道:“哈!拳擊手來啦!”話音剛落,就有人在至少兩三位其他什么人的伴同下,立刻向約翰·皮瑞賓格爾和他的美麗的妻子請安問好。
這輛送貨馬車上大件小件的包裹堆積如山;沿途有不少耽擱,要把包裹放上去,取下來,這件事可一點也不是旅途的最壞部分。有些人對他們的郵包滿懷著期望,有些人對他們的郵包滿懷著好奇,還有些人對他們的郵包不停地關(guān)照,約翰對所有的郵包都懷有強烈的興趣,整個場景就像一幕生動的情景劇。馬車上還裝有物件要運送,運送它們也需要思考和討論,關(guān)于這些東西的調(diào)整和安排,運貨夫和發(fā)送者還得進(jìn)行多次會議討論。這類會議,拳擊手通常都參加,它短時間一陣隔一陣地極其聚精會神,可是又長時間一陣隔一陣地繞著聚集在一起的賢達(dá)之士飛奔,一圈又一圈,還汪汪直叫,把嗓子都叫啞了。對于這些小插曲,坐在馬車?yán)锏男〔稽c兒是個旁觀者,她饒有興味地全都看在眼里。她坐在那兒,觀看著——馬車的遮陽傘把她框成令人贊美的一幅嫵媚的小肖像畫——在年輕小伙子們中間少不得要用胳膊肘兒推推,眼睛瞟瞟,竊竊私語,艷羨不已。這一點,使得運貨夫約翰高興得無法形容;因為他為自己的小妻子被人羨慕而感到驕傲,同時知道她對此并不在意——還知道,要是有什么的話,她倒也很喜歡這樣子呢。
正月的天氣,旅途上固然有一點霧蒙蒙的,而且陰濕寒冷;可是有誰會在乎如此無關(guān)緊要的事情呢?小不點兒肯定不會。蒂蕾·施羅博埃也不會,因為她認(rèn)為,不管怎樣,坐在馬車?yán)锸侨祟惖男腋5臉O點,這馬車是世上所希望的再好也沒有的安樂窩。嬰孩也不會,這點我可以發(fā)誓;因為一路上他都被裹得暖暖的,睡得香香的,嬰孩在這兩方面都有很大的需求量,沒有哪個嬰孩能比小皮瑞賓格爾更有福氣。
當(dāng)然,在迷霧里你不可能看得很遠(yuǎn),然而你卻能夠看到很多呢!你只要不嫌麻煩去觀察,就會感到驚訝,你竟然能夠在比這更濃的迷霧里看見這么多東西?。∴?,即使坐在田野里,瞧著一個個仙人圈,以及殘留在樹籬笆邊和林木下的陰影里的一塊一塊的白霜,也是一樁令人興味盎然的事情哩。且不說那些意想不到的樹影的樣子了:杈丫從迷霧里彈出來,然后重又滑到迷霧之中去。樹籬笆糾纏在一起,光禿禿的,在寒風(fēng)里搖擺,好像無數(shù)枯萎的花環(huán),不過看來并不令人意氣消沉。沉思冥想是愉快的事情,因為它使得眼前的壁爐變得比原來暖和,又使得未來的夏天變得更為翠綠。河流看來陰冷得很,然而還在流著,而且流得很快,這是一個重大的要點。運河水流得相當(dāng)遲滯緩慢,這一點必須承認(rèn)??墒遣槐亟橐?。等到霜雪恰到好處地開始降臨的時候,運河立刻就會冰封起來,于是就會有人溜冰、滑雪什么的;一艘艘沉重的舊駁船就會被凍結(jié)在靠近碼頭的什么地方,生銹的鐵煙囪煙斗整天吸著煙,吞云吐霧,懶散地消磨時光。
在某處,有一座巨大的野草或者麥茬遍布的山丘在燃燒著;他們瞧著在白天里燒得那么白熱的火光,透過迷霧閃爍著,只有東一處西一處射出一道紅光來。到后來,由于施羅博埃小姐看到熏煙“撲到她鼻子上來了”,她嗆咳起來——只消有一點點刺激,她就會做出任何這一類的事情——而且把嬰孩吵醒,不肯再睡覺了,他們這才不再看。然而拳擊手跑到前面約有四分之一英里的地方,早已跑過了城市的前哨點,到達(dá)了凱萊布和他的女兒住的那條街的轉(zhuǎn)角處;在他們來到門口以前,拳擊手和那位盲女已經(jīng)在人行道上等著迎接他們,等了好久。
順便說說,拳擊手在跟蓓莎打交道的時候,帶著它自己特有的細(xì)心周到的樣子,這使我完全相信它明白蓓莎是瞎眼的人。它從來不像常常對別人做的那樣瞧著她來吸引她的注意,而是寸步不離地碰著她。我鬧不清,它可能有過和盲人和盲狗相處的什么經(jīng)驗。但它從來沒有跟瞎眼的主人待過;老拳擊手先生、老拳擊手太太以及他們父親一邊或者母親一邊的可尊敬的家系中的任何一位,也都沒有患盲癥的,這一點我是知道的?;蛟S它是自己學(xué)會這一套的,不過它不知怎么的就已經(jīng)能掌握得很好了;因此它緊挨著蓓莎的裙子,而且一直這樣,直等到皮瑞賓格爾太太、嬰孩、施羅博埃小姐,以及籃子,都安全地進(jìn)了門為止。
梅·費爾丁已經(jīng)先來了,她的媽媽也來了——她是一位動不動就發(fā)脾氣的小老太太,一臉不高興的樣子。因為她繼承而保有了像一根床柱那樣細(xì)的腰,她的身段被認(rèn)為是最出類拔萃的了。她還一度因為境遇比較好,或者因為她煞費苦心地給人一種印象,如果說有什么事情發(fā)生過而實際上并沒有發(fā)生,而且似乎從來沒有特別可能會發(fā)生——然而這是一回事——她可能一度境遇比較好,所以,她的確是非常有大家風(fēng)度,氣派十足。格拉夫和泰克爾頓也在那兒欣然迎候,帶著明顯的自在的樣子,就像一條新鮮的小鮭魚登上了大金字塔的頂上那樣,毫無疑問是在他本行的范圍之內(nèi)。
“梅!我親愛的老朋友!”小不點兒喊著,奔上前去迎接她,“看到你來多高興啊!”
她的老朋友完全像她一樣興奮和歡喜;要是你相信我的話,看見她們擁抱在一起,真是叫人快活。毫無疑問,泰克爾頓是一個懂得風(fēng)雅的人。梅則是非常漂亮。
你知道,你看慣了一張漂亮的臉蛋兒的時候,這張臉又和另外一張漂亮的臉碰在一起并且相比較的時候,有時候,原來那張漂亮的臉一下子似乎變得平常了,姿容減色了,難以符合你曾經(jīng)對它的高度評價了。不過,現(xiàn)在的情況不論對于小不點兒或者對于梅來說,都完全不同;因為梅的臉陪襯著小不點兒的臉,小不點兒的臉又陪襯著梅的臉,如此自然,而且相得益彰。約翰·皮瑞賓格爾走進(jìn)屋子里來的時候,幾乎脫口而出,說她們應(yīng)該生來是一對姐妹——這是你能夠提出來的唯一的改進(jìn)建議。
泰克爾頓帶來了一只羊腿,此外,說來也真妙,還有一只果餡餅?zāi)亍贿^事關(guān)我們的新娘子的時候,我們不會在意一點小小的花費;我們可不是每天都結(jié)婚的——除了這兩樣美味以外,還有小牛肉和火腿餡餅,以及皮瑞賓格爾太太所謂的“東西”:這主要是指硬殼果、橙子、薄餅,以及這一類的并不稀奇的東西。等到這些膳食陳列在案桌上,由凱萊布從側(cè)面供應(yīng)一只巨大的木碗,里邊盛著熱氣騰騰的土豆(有一個莊嚴(yán)的合約禁止他送上任何其他的食品),這時候,泰克爾頓領(lǐng)著他的未來的丈母娘坐上榮譽的席位。為了在這高級的節(jié)日里,在這個地方,表現(xiàn)得更優(yōu)美一些,這位威嚴(yán)莊重的老人家,在她自己的頭上裝飾了一頂帽子,打算這樣來使得輕率的人產(chǎn)生一種敬畏的感情。她還戴著手套呢。不過讓我們大家都彬彬有禮吧,否則還是死了的好!
凱萊布坐在他女兒旁邊。小不點兒和她的老同學(xué)緊挨在一起。那位好運貨夫則照顧著餐桌的末端。施羅博埃小姐一時之間孤立于一切家具之外,除了她坐的那把椅子,這樣,她就可以不讓其他的東西來碰嬰孩的頭了。
蒂蕾睜大眼睛對著那些娃娃和玩具東看西看的時候,它們則睜大眼睛看著她和來客。站在沿街的門口的可尊敬的玩偶老紳士們(他們?nèi)季穸稊\)對于這次聚會感到很有興趣。不時地跳跳又停停,好像正在聽里邊的談話。然后,粗野地一次又一次闖進(jìn)去,闖了許多次,而不停下來喘一口氣——好像對這整個事情喜歡到發(fā)狂的程度。
如果這些玩偶紳士想要在泰克爾頓的窘境中得到一種惡意的快樂,那么他們當(dāng)然有足夠的理由得到滿足。泰克爾頓跟他們完全合不來,他的未來的新娘子越是成為小不點兒的圈子里的人,感到興高采烈,他越是不喜歡這種情況,雖然他是為了使她們愉快才把她們拉在一起的。因為他,泰克爾頓,是一個名副其實的“牛槽里的狗”,她們大笑的時候,他卻不能,于是他立刻想到,她們一定是在笑他。
“啊,梅!”小不點兒說,“親愛的人兒,變化多大??!聊聊那些快樂的學(xué)生時代的日子,使人又變得年輕起來了。”
“哦,你并不怎么老,一直是這樣,是不是?”泰克爾頓說。
“瞧瞧我那位拖著穩(wěn)重的步子的丈夫吧,”小不點兒說,“他至少使我增加二十歲,是不是,約翰?”
“增加四十歲?!奔s翰回答。
“你將會使梅增加多少,我肯定我不知道,”小不點兒笑著說,“不過她明年生日的時候,不可能離一百歲差得太遠(yuǎn)。”
“哈,哈!”泰克爾頓大聲笑著??墒撬男β曄窆穆曇粯愚Z隆隆的。他看起來好像可以舒舒服服地把小不點兒的脖子擰過來。
“親愛的、親愛的人兒!”小不點兒說,“回想一下吧,我們在學(xué)生時代,常常談到將來要選擇什么樣的丈夫。我不知道我的丈夫是多么不年輕,不漂亮,不動人,不活潑??!至于梅的丈夫呢!——啊,天哪!我一想到我們曾經(jīng)是多么傻的女孩子,我真不知道該笑還是該哭?!?/p>
梅卻似乎知道該做什么,因為紅暈泛到她的臉上來了,眼淚在她眼睛里轉(zhuǎn)。
“即使那些人——真正生氣勃勃的男青年本身——有時候被我們看中,”小不點兒說,“我們一點也沒想過事情會怎樣發(fā)展下去。我能肯定的是自己從來沒有看中過約翰,我連想也沒有想到過他。要是當(dāng)時我跟你說,你以后要和泰克爾頓先生結(jié)婚,嗨,你會打我嘴巴子的。梅,是不是啊?”
雖然梅沒有說是,但是她當(dāng)然也沒有說不是,或者用任何方式表示過不是。
泰克爾頓大笑著——他笑得那么響,簡直是喊叫哪。約翰·皮瑞賓格爾也大笑,帶著和藹可親、心滿意足的態(tài)度,像他平常那樣;不過,比起泰克爾頓的大笑來,他不過是一種耳語式的笑罷了。
“盡管如此,你們可由不得自己做主。你瞧,你們沒法拒絕我們,”泰克爾頓說,“我們在這兒!我們在這兒!可是你們動人的年輕新郎現(xiàn)在在哪兒啦?”
“他們當(dāng)中,有些人已經(jīng)死了?!毙〔稽c兒說,“有些人已經(jīng)被人遺忘了。有些人,要是能在此刻站在我們中間,會不相信我們和過去還是同一個人,會不相信他們所見和所聞是真的,而我們竟然把他們忘得一干二凈。不!他們一點也不會相信!”
“嗨,小不點兒!”運貨夫嚷起來,“你這小婦人!”
她的一番話說得那樣誠摯,那樣熱情,毫無疑問,她有必要稍稍恢復(fù)一下精神。她的丈夫的阻攔是非常客氣的,因為照他的打算,他干擾一下只不過是為了保護(hù)老泰克爾頓。然而此舉證明有效,因為她住了口,不再說話了。即使在她的靜默之中,也有一種不平常的激動。那個心細(xì)如發(fā)的泰克爾頓把他半閉著的眼睛瞄準(zhǔn)著她,一一看在眼里,而且像你將會看到的那樣,還相當(dāng)成功地記在心里。
梅不吭聲,好歹不說一個字,只是十分安靜地坐著,眼睛朝下望,對于剛才種種事情表示不感興趣。她的母親,那位好夫人這會兒插了進(jìn)來,開宗明義,說女孩子總是女孩子,過去的事總是過去的事,還說,只要是年輕而又輕率的年輕人,他們就有可能像年輕而又輕率的人那樣行事。此外還發(fā)表了兩三條同樣帶有正確無誤和不可辯駁的特點的意見。然后,她帶著一種虔敬的精神說,她感謝上帝,因為一直在她女兒梅的身上發(fā)現(xiàn)一顆恭敬和孝順的孩子的心;雖然她有一切理由相信這完全是由于她的緣故,她卻沒有把這一點歸功于自己。關(guān)于泰克爾頓先生,她說從道德的觀點看來,是一位無可訾議的人;從合適的觀點看來,沒有一個神志清醒的人能懷疑他是一個合人心意的女婿。(她說到這里的時候特別加重語氣。)關(guān)于這個在他三番五次懇求之后才接納他的家庭,她相信泰克爾頓先生知道,這個家庭雖然錢包里空些,可是卻具有一種貌似名門世家的氣派。在某種不是完全沒有關(guān)系的情況之下,她甚至?xí)f靛青生意(但是她不打算再特別提到它)要是曾經(jīng)順手的話,那么這家庭也許已經(jīng)占有了財富。然后她說不愿意提到過去,也不愿意說起她的女兒曾經(jīng)拒絕過泰克爾頓先生的求婚,更不愿意啰啰唆唆地談她談過的許許多多其他的事情。最后,作為自己的觀察和經(jīng)驗的總結(jié),她宣布凡是不具備被浪漫地、愚蠢地稱作愛情的婚姻,才往往是最幸福的婚姻;并且她從即將來臨的那件婚事中,預(yù)見其得到最大量的幸福——不是那種歡天喜地的幸福,而是那種實實在在的、源源不絕的幸福。在結(jié)束她的話的時候,她對大伙兒說,她活到現(xiàn)在,是因為明天這個她特意盼望的日子;并且說,等過了明天,她就沒有更大的希望了,只希望讓人包裹起來,安排在任何體面的殯葬之地就行了。
這些話是很難回答的,一切遠(yuǎn)遠(yuǎn)達(dá)不到目的的話都有這種可喜的特性。正因如此,他們改變了話題,大家的注意力都轉(zhuǎn)移到小牛肉和火腿餡餅、冷羊肉、土豆和果餡餅上來。約翰·皮瑞賓格爾為了使瓶裝啤酒不至于被人忽視,他提議為明天大喜的日子干杯。他號召他們滿滿地喝一杯,然后他便繼續(xù)登程趕路去了。
你應(yīng)該知道他剛才不過是在那兒歇一歇腳,給那匹老馬喂一些草料。他還得趕四五英里的路;等到傍晚的時候回到這里來接小不點兒,再歇一歇腳,然后回家。這是他們每一次聚餐會的一天的日程,自從他們立下這個規(guī)定以來,一直是這樣。
對于剛才的祝福,除了新娘和被選中的新郎以外,還有兩個在場的人只是冷淡地表示了敬意。其中一個是小不點兒,她太靦腆,局促不安,不能使自己適應(yīng)此刻發(fā)生的任何小事情。另外一個是蓓莎,她在其余的人離開之前,匆忙地站起來,離開了餐桌。
“再見!”身強力壯的約翰·皮瑞賓格爾穿上厚呢大衣,說道,“我在老時間回來。跟大家再見!”
“再見,約翰?!眲P萊布回答說。
他似乎是機械地說這句話,而且?guī)е瑯訜o意識的神情揮揮手。這是因為他站在那兒盯著蓓莎瞧,臉上那種心煩意亂、迷惑不解的表情,始終不變。
“再見,小家伙!”興高采烈的運貨夫說著彎身去吻吻孩子。這會兒正專心致志于她的刀叉的蒂蕾·施羅博埃,已經(jīng)把這個孩子安置在(說來也怪,竟然毫無損傷)蓓莎置備的一個小搖籃里,讓他睡著了?!霸僖姡∥业男∨笥?,我想不久以后,你就要跑到外面的寒風(fēng)中去,留下你的老爸爸待在壁爐邊上吸他的煙斗,生他的風(fēng)濕病。嗯?小不點兒哪里去啦?”
“我在這兒呢,約翰!”她跳起來說。
“來吧,來吧!”運貨夫響亮地拍著手說,“煙斗在哪兒?”
“我差不多把煙斗給忘了,約翰。”
把煙斗給忘了!從來也沒有聽到過這種奇怪的話!她呀!把煙斗給忘啦!
“我——我馬上裝板煙。立刻就裝好。”
然而并不是立刻就裝好的。煙斗躺在它經(jīng)常待的地方——運貨夫的厚呢大衣的口袋里,還有一個小煙草袋,那是她自己做的,她經(jīng)常就是用這袋里的煙裝煙斗??墒撬氖侄兜媚敲磪柡?,被那個袋子纏住了(不過,她的手很小,我肯定她可以容易地抽出來),搞得一塌糊涂。你應(yīng)該記得,我曾經(jīng)稱贊過她在做裝煙斗和點煙的這些小事務(wù)方面非常心靈手巧,可是這回從頭到尾她都做得極其糟糕。在這整個過程中,泰克爾頓都站在那兒,半閉著眼睛,不懷好意地瞧著。每一次,他的眼光遇上她的眼光——或者說逮住她的眼光,因為很難說是遇上別人的眼光,他那樣子就像一種逮住別人眼光的陷阱——極大地增加了她的窘迫。
“喂,今天下午你是一個多么笨手笨腳的小不點兒?。 奔s翰說,“我的確相信,我自己來做,準(zhǔn)會比你做得好!”
他說完這些善意的話以后,大步走開了。不久就聽見他和拳擊手、老馬和車子一起一路上弄出的生氣勃勃的音樂。這時候,在夢幻中的凱萊布仍然站在那兒,眼睛定定地瞅著他的盲女兒,他的臉上還是之前那樣的表情。
“蓓莎!”凱萊布溫和地喊她,“發(fā)生了什么事情啦?打從今天早上起——幾個鐘頭里,你變得多么厲害啊,我的親愛的人。你整天不言不語,悶悶不樂!這到底是怎么啦?告訴我吧!”
“哦,爸爸,爸爸!”盲女孩兒叫著,眼淚奪眶而出,“哦,我的好苦、好苦的命??!”
凱萊布用手擦擦自己的眼睛,然后回答她的話。
“不過你想想你過去是多么幸福愉快啊,蓓莎!多么好,許多人又多么愛你啊?!?/p>
“就是那樣我才受不了啊,親愛的爸爸!總是那么關(guān)心我!總是待我那么好!”
凱萊布覺得非常困惑,不明白她的意思。
“變成——變成了瞎子,蓓莎,我的可憐的乖乖,”他結(jié)結(jié)巴巴地說,“是極大的不幸;不過——”
“我從來沒有感到這一點!”盲女孩兒大聲說?!拔覐膩頉]有感到它是痛苦的全部。從來沒有!我有時候希望自己能夠看見你,或者能夠看見他——只要看見一次,親愛的爸爸,只要看見短短的一分鐘——這樣,我就可以知道我所熱愛的,”她把雙手放在胸前,“并且銘記在心里的人是什么樣子!這樣,我就可以肯定自己的想法完全正確!有時候(不過那時候我還是個孩子),我在晚上祈禱時哭泣,想到你們的形象有一天要從我的心中升到天堂里去,那時候,你們的形象可能不是你們自己真正的樣子。不過,這些想法我從來沒有想很久。都已經(jīng)過去了,而我又心境平和,高高興興的了?!?/p>
“然而這些想法還會出現(xiàn)的。”凱萊布說。
“不過,爸爸!哦,我的和藹的好爸爸,要是我不好,請你寬恕我吧!”盲女孩兒說,“使我心情這樣沉重,愁悶不解的,并不是這件事情!”
她的爸爸濕漉漉的眼睛忍不住溢出淚水來。她是那么誠摯和可憐。但是他還是不了解她。
“把她帶到我這兒來,”蓓莎說,“我不能把這件事情嚴(yán)嚴(yán)地藏在心里了。把她帶到我這兒來吧,爸爸!”
她知道他躊躇不前,便說:“是梅。把梅帶來!”
梅聽見提到自己的名字,就靜悄悄地向她走來,碰碰她的手臂。盲女孩兒立刻轉(zhuǎn)過身子,用雙手抱住她。
“瞧著我的臉吧,親愛的寶貝,甜蜜的寶貝!”蓓莎說,“用你美麗的眼睛瞧著我,并且告訴我,誠實是不是寫在我的臉上?!?/p>
“親愛的蓓莎,是的!”
盲女孩兒仰著茫茫然的臉,眼淚撲簌簌地直往下掉。她仍然對著她說了下面這些話:
“在我的心靈里,沒有一個祝愿或者思想不是為了你好,開朗的梅!在我的心靈里,沒有一個令人感激的回想比那種深刻的記憶更強烈的了。那種記憶存留在我心里有許多許多時候了,那時候,你的目光和美麗都十分值得你為此自豪,但你卻那么體恤瞎了眼睛的蓓莎,即使在我們兩人都還是個孩子的時候就是這樣了?;蛘哒f,即使在蓓莎是瞎得不能再瞎的孩子的時候,就是這樣了!一切幸福降臨到你的頭上!光明照在你快樂的道路上!現(xiàn)在我對你的祝福絲毫未減,我親愛的梅,”她更緊地抱住她,向她靠近,“我的小鳥,因為今天,知道你就要成為他的妻子,這件事絞得我的心幾乎都要碎了!父親啊,梅啊,瑪麗??!哦,原諒我這副樣子,看在他為了減輕我黑暗生活的苦惱所做的一切的分上;也看在你們相信我的分上,你們相信我能呼喚上天來證實,對于善良的他,我不能希望他找到更相配的妻子了!”
她一邊說,一邊放開了梅·費爾丁的雙手,帶著一種懇求和愛慕交加的樣子抓住她的衣服。她在做著奇怪的自白的時候,漸漸往下沉,最后跌坐在她的朋友的腳旁,把目盲的臉藏在她的衣服的褶皺之中。
“我的天哪!”她的父親喊道,他被她吐露的真情當(dāng)頭打了一棒,“難道我不是從她睡在搖籃里的時候起,就欺騙了她,終于使她的心破碎了嗎?”
那位小不點兒,那位喜洋洋的、能干而忙碌的小不點兒——她正是這樣,不論她有什么缺點,也不管你可能適時地學(xué)會討厭她——對于大家都好,我是說,她在那兒,這對于他們大家都是好事,否則就很難說這情形怎么結(jié)束了。在梅還不能回答、凱萊布還不能開口之前,小不點兒卻已經(jīng)恢復(fù)了往日的沉著冷靜,插進(jìn)來說話。
“來吧,來吧,親愛的蓓莎!跟我來吧!梅,你去攙扶她一把。行啦!你瞧她已經(jīng)多么平靜了。她這樣聽從我們又是多么好,”這位活潑愉快的小女人說著,吻了蓓莎的前額,“來吧,親愛的蓓莎!來吧,她的好爸爸在這兒,他會和她一起來的;是嗎,凱萊布?當(dāng)——然——啦!”
得,得!在這類事情上,她是一位高尚的小不點兒,必須是一個頑固不化的人才能抵抗她的影響力。她把可憐的凱萊布和他的蓓莎送走了,好讓他們彼此安慰和勸解對方,她知道只有他們自己才能做到。于是,她立刻蹦了回來——俗話說,像一朵雛菊那么鮮艷;我卻要說她更鮮艷——她蹦回來護(hù)衛(wèi)那位戴著帽子和手套的昂首傲視的重要而矮小的人物,不讓這位親愛的老人家發(fā)現(xiàn)什么異常之事。
“那么把寶貝嬰孩抱給我吧,蒂蕾,”她說,同時將一把椅子拖到壁爐邊,“等我把孩子放在膝蓋上的時候,蒂蕾,這位費爾丁太太將會把所有的育兒知識告訴我,并且改正我所觸犯的二十個錯盡錯絕的地方。是不是呢,費爾丁太太?”
按照一般的說法,威爾士巨怪模仿他的宿敵在吃早餐時耍的把戲,為他自己做了致命的外科手術(shù),即使是這時候也不那么“遲鈍”;即使是他,跌進(jìn)為他準(zhǔn)備的“陷阱”里的時候,也沒有像這位老太太那樣欣然就范地跌進(jìn)這個巧妙的“陷坑”里邊,一半也沒有。泰克爾頓走了出去這件事,以及另外兩三個人在一段距離之外交談了兩分鐘,而把她拋在一邊這件事,足夠使她在二十四小時之內(nèi)大擺架子,并且感嘆那筆靛青生意所遭到的神秘的災(zāi)難。然而,在那位年輕的媽媽這方面,剛才對于她的經(jīng)驗所表示的恰如其分的敬意是如此不可抗拒,因此,在稍稍假裝謙虛一陣以后,她就開始用世界上最寬厚的神態(tài)來教導(dǎo)她。老太太腰板筆直地坐在調(diào)皮的小不點兒跟前,談了半個鐘點的家庭食譜和格言,其準(zhǔn)確無誤的地方多于(如果照著做的話)會完全毀滅并且葬送那位小皮瑞賓格爾的地方,雖然他曾經(jīng)是一位嬰兒參孫。
為了改變一下話題,小不點兒做了一點針線活兒——她把針線盒里的整套用品都放在她的口袋里。至于她是如何做到這一點的,我可不知道——然后她喂了一會兒奶;然后又做了一點針線活兒;然后,那位老太太在打瞌睡,小不點兒跟梅交頭接耳談了一會兒話。于是,像她一貫的作風(fēng)那樣,她匆匆忙忙地做了些瑣瑣碎碎的事情以后,發(fā)現(xiàn)下午過得真快。然后,因為天黑了,還因為按照這個聚餐會慣例中鄭重其事的部分的規(guī)定,她必須做完蓓莎的所有家務(wù),于是她把爐火調(diào)整好,把爐邊掃干凈,把茶盤擺出來,把窗簾拉上,把蠟燭點亮。然后,她在一架凱萊布替蓓莎制作的粗劣的豎琴上彈一兩支曲子,彈得實在是好;因為造物主賜給了她精致的小耳朵,這耳朵能輕易鑒別出好的音樂,就像能甄別出上等珠寶一樣,如果她有什么珠寶可戴的話。這時候,正是例行的吃茶點的時間;泰克爾頓又回來了,來共進(jìn)晚餐,消磨黃昏。
凱萊布和蓓莎已經(jīng)在前不久回來了,凱萊布已經(jīng)坐下來做他下午的工作。可是他無法安下心來做,可憐的人啊,為了他的女兒正憂心忡忡,悔恨交加。他的樣子看起來讓人感動,那樣意興闌珊地坐在工作凳上,深情地瞧著女兒,臉上的表情似乎一直在說:“難道我不是從她在搖籃里的時候起,就欺騙了她,而使她的心破碎了嗎?”
黑夜降臨了,茶點用完了,小不點兒在洗茶杯和茶碟的工作方面已經(jīng)沒有更多的事情要做了;總之一句話——因為我必須說到這一點,要拖延也拖延不了——在時間接近于期待從遠(yuǎn)處響起那位運貨夫回來的車輪的滾動的每一個聲響的時候,她的神態(tài)又改變了;臉色一陣紅,一陣白,顯得頗為坐立不安。那可不像一些好妻子傾聽著她們的丈夫回來的時候那樣。不,不,不像。那是與此不同的另一種坐立不安。
聽見了車輪聲。還有一陣馬蹄聲,狗的吠叫聲。所有的聲音都漸漸逼近了。拳擊手的腳爪在門上抓了!
“那是誰的腳步聲!”蓓莎驚跳起來,喊著。
“誰的腳步聲?”運貨夫站在門口回答,他的褐色的臉,被夜里刺骨的寒風(fēng)吹得像冬天的漿果那樣紅,“怎么啦,是我的啊?!?/p>
“我說的是另外的腳步聲,”蓓莎說,“在你后面那個人的腳步聲!”
“她可不會受騙,”運貨夫笑著說,“來吧,先生。你是受歡迎的,不要害怕!”
他提高嗓門說話,他說著的時候,那位耳聾的老紳士進(jìn)來了。
“凱萊布,他可不是你一次也沒有看見過的生客,”運貨夫說,“你會接待他,直到我們離開的時候吧?”
“哦,當(dāng)然啦,約翰。這樣做,我感到十分榮幸。”
“要是有秘密需要傾訴的話,他可是世界上最好的人選了,”約翰說,“我跟你說吧,我的肺部相當(dāng)好,可是他考驗著我的肺。請坐下,先生。朋友們都在這兒,大家高興見到你!”
他做出了這一保證,他的嗓音充分證明他所說的自己的肺部的情況,說完之后,他又用本來的聲調(diào)繼續(xù)說:“他所需要的,不過是在壁爐邊上放一把椅子,讓他安安靜靜地坐著,自得其樂地東張西望。他是很容易滿足的?!?/p>
蓓莎注意地傾聽著。凱萊布放好了椅子以后,她便把他叫到身邊,壓低著聲音要求他講一講客人的樣子。他對她說了(這一回是真的了,說得絲毫不差),自從他進(jìn)來以后,她頭一次挪動身子,嘆了口氣,似乎對他沒有更多的興趣了。
運貨夫興致勃勃,他是一個好人,他比以前更喜歡他的小妻子了。
“今天下午,她真是個笨手笨腳的小不點兒!”他說著用一只粗糙的手臂去摟抱她,她離開其余的人站在那兒,“可是我不知怎么卻喜歡她。小不點兒,瞧那邊!”
他指著那位老人。她眼睛朝下看,我想她是發(fā)抖了。
“他是——哈,哈,哈!——他對你是十分欽佩的!”運貨夫說,“到這兒來的一路上,什么旁的話都沒有談。嗨,他可真是一位勇敢的老孩子。我就喜歡他這一點!”
“約翰,我倒希望他有更好的話題。”她說,神色不安地打量著這間屋子,特別是打量著泰克爾頓。
“更好的話題!”喜滋滋的約翰大聲說,“可沒有這種東西。來吧!脫下大衣,脫下厚圍巾,脫下一重重沉重的外皮吧!在爐火邊舒舒服服地待半個鐘頭!太太,甘愿為你效勞。你和我來一場王牌游戲怎么樣?這可叫人樂著呢。小不點兒,把撲克牌和記分板拿來。要是啤酒還有剩余的話,再帶一杯來,小妻子!”
他是對那位老太太下的戰(zhàn)書,老太太立刻欣然接受了,他們很快打起撲克牌來。起初,運貨夫有時候還帶著微笑東張西望,或者不時地叫小不點兒從他的肩膀上望他手上的牌替他在某個難題上出出主意。然而,他的對手是一位嚴(yán)格遵守紀(jì)律的人,不過偶爾也會犯一種毛病,即用木釘記上比她有權(quán)利得到的更多的分?jǐn)?shù),這就需要他高度警惕,不能讓眼睛或者耳朵閑下來。也因此,他的全部注意力逐漸集中在了撲克牌上面,別的什么也不想,直到一只手放在他的肩膀上,才使他清醒,認(rèn)出了泰克爾頓。
“我很抱歉打擾了你——只消一句話,馬上好?!?/p>
“我就要發(fā)牌了,”運貨夫說,“正在緊要關(guān)頭。”
“說得不錯,”泰克爾頓說,“到這兒來吧,先生!”
他蒼白的臉上的那種表情使得對方立刻站起來,匆匆忙忙地追問那是怎么回事。
“別出聲!約翰·皮瑞賓格爾,”泰克爾頓說,“這件事情我很抱歉,的確抱歉。我曾經(jīng)擔(dān)心這件事,從一開始我就懷疑過?!?/p>
“什么事呢?”運貨夫說,神色緊張。
“別出聲!你只要跟我來,我指給你看?!?/p>
運貨夫一聲不吭地跟著他。他們穿過一個星光照耀著的院子,走過一扇小邊門,進(jìn)了泰克爾頓自己的賬房里,那兒有一扇玻璃窗,看得見在夜里關(guān)閉著的那間商品儲藏室。賬房里沒有燈光,但是狹長的商品儲藏室里卻亮著燈,因此玻璃窗是亮的。
“等一會兒!”泰克爾頓說,“你覺得自己能夠受得了從窗口望進(jìn)去嗎?”
“為什么不行?”運貨夫回答。
“再等一會兒,”泰克爾頓說,“決不能用暴力。那是沒有用的,而且還有危險。你是一個烈性子的人,可能連你自己都來不及知道就已經(jīng)動手殺了人?!?/p>
運貨夫盯著他的臉看,然后好像被人打了一下似的倒退一步。他又一個箭步跨到窗前,只見……
哦,爐邊的陰影??!哦,忠實的蟋蟀??!哦,不貞的妻子?。?/p>
他看見了她跟那個老頭兒在一起。他不再是老人了,而是腰背挺直,儀表堂堂,手上拿著那副假白發(fā),他就是靠這個混進(jìn)了他們的寂寞凄涼的家。他看見他低著頭對她悄悄耳語,她則注意傾聽著。她讓他摟著她的腰,兩人慢慢地沿著昏暗的木走廊朝著他們剛才進(jìn)來的那扇門走去。他看見他們站住了,她轉(zhuǎn)過身來——把那張臉,他深愛的那張臉,如此呈現(xiàn)在他眼前!——看見她親手替他端正好他頭上的欺騙人的東西,她一面做,一面取笑著他的并不叫人懷疑的本來面目!
起初,他強壯的右手緊緊攥著,仿佛要打倒一頭獅子。然而立刻又松開了,伸展在泰克爾頓的眼前(因為即使在那時候,他對她還是很溫柔),一直到他們走了出去的時候,他才像一個嬰孩一樣軟弱地癱倒在一張寫字桌上。
等到她走進(jìn)這間屋子的時候,他已經(jīng)穿戴得嚴(yán)嚴(yán)實實的,連自己的下巴頦兒都裹上了,忙著備馬、收拾包裹,準(zhǔn)備回家了。
“好了,約翰,親愛的!晚安,梅!再見,蓓莎!”
她還能吻別他們嗎?在她離開的時候,她還能輕松愉快嗎?她還膽敢在他們面前露臉而不害臊嗎?是的。泰克爾頓仔細(xì)地觀察她。她全都辦到了。
蒂蕾正在哄嬰孩睡覺。她在泰克爾頓跟前走過來走過去,走了十幾次,迷迷糊糊地重復(fù)著說:
“那么,是它知道它要做它的一些妻子了,使它的心痛得差不多要碎了;是打它在一些搖籃里的時候起,它的一些爸爸就欺騙了它,到頭來使它的一些心碎了!”
“蒂蕾,這會兒把寶寶給我吧。晚安,泰克爾頓先生。我的老天爺,約翰到哪兒去了?”
“他打算牽著馬在一邊步行?!碧┛藸栴D說,他幫她坐進(jìn)了馬車。
“我親愛的約翰。步行嗎?今天晚上?”
她那包裹得嚴(yán)嚴(yán)實實的丈夫匆匆地向她做了個肯定的表示。那位偽裝的陌生人和那位小保姆都各就各位以后,那匹老馬出發(fā)了。拳擊手,這個不自覺的拳擊手,一會兒跑在前面,一會兒跑到后面,一會兒繞著馬車一圈圈地跑,并且像它一貫的那樣耀武揚威、歡天喜地地吠叫著。
在泰克爾頓也護(hù)送梅和她的媽媽回家去的時候,可憐的凱萊布傍著女兒在爐火邊坐下來,心中感到憂慮和悔恨,仍然用他深情的目光凝視著她,嘴里說著:“打她在搖籃里的時候起,我就欺騙了她,到頭來卻使她心碎了!”
為了逗那個嬰孩玩兒,開動了的一些玩具,現(xiàn)在都早已停止不動了。在這微弱的燈光和一片寂靜里,那些無動于衷的安靜的洋娃娃、長著老大的眼睛和張著鼻孔的急躁的搖木馬、用無力的膝蓋和腳踝半彎著身子站在沿街的門邊的老頭兒、面目猙獰的胡桃夾子,以及好像寄宿學(xué)校學(xué)生外出散步時那樣成雙成對地朝方舟走去的野獸,都會令人猜想它們是一下子驚呆了,一動也不動,而這是由于它們不管在哪一種錯綜復(fù)雜的場合下,看到了小不點兒虛偽或者泰克爾頓竟然也有人愛,都會因此而覺得奇怪得不可思議的。
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