36個(gè)問題，讓兩人數(shù)小時(shí)內(nèi)即可愛上彼此!

Set One

第一部分

1. Given the choice of anyone in the world, whom would you want as a dinner guest?

如果你可以選擇世界上任何一個(gè)人，你想讓誰做你晚餐的客人呢?

2. Would you like to be famous? In what way?

你想出名嗎?以哪種方式?

3. Before making a telephone call, do you ever rehearse what you are going to say? Why?

在打電話之前，你有沒有排練過你想要說的話?為什么?

4. What would constitute a “perfect” day for you?

你的完美一天由什么組成?

5. When did you last sing to yourself? To someone else?

你最后一次獨(dú)自唱歌是什么時(shí)候?最后一次和別人一起唱歌是什么時(shí)候?

6. If you were able to live to the age of 90 and retain either the mind or body of a 30-year-old for the last 60 years of your life, which would you want?

如果你能活到90歲，在你人生最后60年里，你想擁有30歲的大腦還是身體?

7. Do you have a secret hunch about how you will die?

你有想過你會(huì)怎么死嗎?

8. Name three things you and your partner appear to have in common.

舉出你和我的三個(gè)共同之處。

9. For what in your life do you feel most grateful?

在你的人生中什么讓你最感激?

10. If you could change anything about the way you were raised, what would it be?

如果你能改變你成長(zhǎng)的方式，你會(huì)去改變什么?

11. Take four minutes and tell your partner your life story in as much detail as possible.

用四分鐘，盡可能詳盡地告訴我你一生的故事。

12. If you could wake up tomorrow having gained any one quality or ability, what would it be?

如果你明天一覺醒來，擁有了某種新的品質(zhì)或者能力，那會(huì)是什么呢?

Set Two

第二部分

13. If a crystal ball could tell you the truth about yourself, your life, the future or anything else, what would you want to know?

如果水晶球能告訴你關(guān)于你自己、你的人生、未來或者任何其他事情的真相，你想知道什么?

14. Is there something that you’ve dreamed of doing for a long time? Why haven’t you done it?

有沒有某樣?xùn)|西/某件事讓你魂?duì)繅?mèng)繞很久卻沒有實(shí)現(xiàn)的呢?為什么還沒做呢?

15. What is the greatest accomplishment of your life?

你一生最大的成就是什么?

16. What do you value most in a friendship?

友誼中你最珍惜的是什么?

17. What is your most treasured memory?

你最珍貴的記憶是什么?

18. What is your most terrible memory?

你最糟糕的記憶是什么?

19. If you knew that in one year you would die suddenly, would you change anything about the way you are now living? Why?

如果你知道一年后你會(huì)突然死去，你會(huì)改變現(xiàn)在的生活方式嗎?為什么?

20. What does friendship mean to you?

友誼對(duì)你意味著什么?

21. What roles do love and affection play in your life?

愛情和感情在你的人生中起了什么作用?

22. Alternate sharing something you consider a positive characteristic of your partner. Share a total of five items.

分享你認(rèn)為我身上的5個(gè)優(yōu)點(diǎn)。

23. How close and warm is your family? Do you feel your childhood was happier than most other people's?

你的家庭多親密?你覺得自己的童年比大多數(shù)人都快樂嗎?

24. How do you feel about your relationship with your mother?

你覺得你和母親的關(guān)系怎么樣?

Set Three

第三部分

25. Make three true “we” statements each. For instance, “We are both in this room feeling ... “

分別造三句“我們”的句子。例如，“我們同時(shí)在這個(gè)房間，感覺……”

26. Complete this sentence: “I wish I had someone with whom I could share ... “

完成這句句子：“我希望我有一個(gè)能和他分享……的人。”

27. If you were going to become a close friend with your partner, please share what would be important for him or her to know.

如果你想和我成為親密的朋友，請(qǐng)分享你認(rèn)為很重要并一定要我知曉的事情。

28. Tell your partner what you like about them; be very honest this time, saying things that you might not say to someone you’ve just met.

告訴我你喜歡我的什么;一定要中肯誠(chéng)實(shí)，不要說那些和第一次見面的陌生人就能說的泛泛之談。

29. Share with your partner an embarrassing moment in your life.

分享給我你一生中一個(gè)尷尬的瞬間。

30. When did you last cry in front of another person? By yourself?

你最近一次在別人面前哭是什么時(shí)候?被誰弄哭的?還是自己哭的?

31. Tell your partner something that you like about them already.

告訴我你已經(jīng)喜歡我的一點(diǎn)。

32. What, if anything, is too serious to be joked about?

什么樣的玩笑不能開?(如果有的話)

33. If you were to die this evening with no opportunity to communicate with anyone, what would you most regret not having told someone? Why haven’t you told them yet?

如果今晚你要死了，卻沒有機(jī)會(huì)和任何人交流，你最后悔沒有告訴某人什么事?你為什么到現(xiàn)在為止沒有說呢?

34. Your house, containing everything you own, catches fire. After saving your loved ones and pets, you have time to safely make a final dash to save any one item. What would it be? Why?

如果你的家(包括你的所有財(cái)產(chǎn))著火了。在救了愛的人和寵物外，你還有時(shí)間安全地再?zèng)_進(jìn)去撿回一個(gè)東西。會(huì)是什么呢?為什么?

35. Of all the people in your family, whose death would you find most disturbing? Why?

家中所有的人中，誰的死會(huì)讓你最不安?為什么?

36. Share a personal problem and ask your partner’s advice on how he or she might handle it. Also, ask your partner to reflect back to you how you seem to be feeling about the problem you have chosen.

我會(huì)和你講一個(gè)很私人化的問題，請(qǐng)你換位思考告訴我如果是你、你會(huì)如何處理。你覺得我在面對(duì)這個(gè)問題的時(shí)候是什么感覺呢?

The last, terrifying, element of this experiment requires the two participants to stare into each other's eyes for four minutes.

這個(gè)實(shí)驗(yàn)最后一個(gè)、也是最驚心動(dòng)魄元素，是需要兩位參與者對(duì)視4分鐘。

If it sounds easy; it isn't.

聽上去容易，其實(shí)則不然。

The questions begin gently enough: Would you like to be famous? What's your perfect day? Or when did you last sing to yourself?

這些問題的第一部分問的很有禮貌：你想成名嗎?你完美的一天是怎么樣的?或者你最后一次獨(dú)自唱歌是什么時(shí)候?

But they rapidly become more personal.

但是問題很快變得更加私密。

Do you have a secret hunch about how you will die? And how do you feel about your relationship with your mother?

你有沒有想過你會(huì)怎么死呢?你覺得你和母親之間的關(guān)系怎么樣?

The idea is to foster the atmosphere of mutual vulnerability and intimacy that a romantic relationship thrives on. Albeit by revealing to each other your deepest, darkest thoughts - the sort it usually takes a few months to admit (if ever).

這想法是通過營(yíng)造相互脆弱感和親密感，以此讓戀愛關(guān)系不斷發(fā)展。即使是通過互相透露出你最深最黑暗的想法，而通常需要花幾個(gè)月雙方才會(huì)承認(rèn)(或永遠(yuǎn)都不承認(rèn))有這樣的想法。

The 36 questions were published in a study by psychologist Arthur Aron called The Experimental Generation of Interpersonal Closeness.

這36個(gè)問題由心理學(xué)家亞瑟·艾倫發(fā)布在一項(xiàng)名為《人際間親密度的實(shí)驗(yàn)一代》的研究中。

He tested the theory that it's possible to make two people fall in love by getting them to share intimate thoughts and memories. To prove this, he persuaded 52 sets of male and female strangers and 19 sets of female strangers to try it. Two of the participants entered a lab via separate doors, before sitting opposite one another and answering his series of ever-more personal and probing questions.

他測(cè)試過這個(gè)理論，讓兩個(gè)人通過互相分享親密的想法和記憶從而墜入愛河的方法是可行的。為了證明這一理論，他說服了52對(duì)陌生男女和19對(duì)女性陌生人來測(cè)試。參加的兩個(gè)人通過不同的門進(jìn)入同一實(shí)驗(yàn)室，然后面對(duì)面坐，回答他一系列越私密和深入的問題。

Six months after the experiment? Two of them got married (and they invited the whole lab to the ceremony).

那在測(cè)試的6個(gè)月后會(huì)怎么樣呢?兩個(gè)人結(jié)婚了(而且邀請(qǐng)了整個(gè)實(shí)驗(yàn)室人員來到婚禮儀式現(xiàn)場(chǎng))。

Aron's questions, which first appeared in 1997, are experiencing a bounce in popularity following an article in the New York Times by university professor Mandy Len Catron. She tried the experiement with an acquaintance.

艾倫的這36個(gè)問題首次出現(xiàn)在1997年，非?；稹６按髮W(xué)教授曼迪·勒·卡朗在《紐約時(shí)報(bào)》中發(fā)布了相關(guān)的文章。她和一個(gè)熟悉的朋友做了這個(gè)實(shí)驗(yàn)。

The result? (Spoiler alert klaxon). They fell in love, of course.

結(jié)果呢?(劇透警告)當(dāng)然他們相愛了。

The last, terrifying, element of Aron's experiment requires the two participants to stare into each other's eyes for four minutes.

艾倫實(shí)驗(yàn)最后一個(gè)也是最驚心動(dòng)魄元素需要兩位參與者對(duì)視4分鐘。

Catron describes it thus: "I’ve skied steep slopes and hung from a rock face by a short length of rope, but staring into someone’s eyes for four silent minutes was one of the more thrilling and terrifying experiences of my life".

卡朗這樣描述道：我滑下斜坡，被一根短繩懸掛在巖壁上，卻要盯著某人雙眸沉默四分鐘。這是我一生中最激動(dòng)人心，驚心動(dòng)魄的經(jīng)歷之一。

Fancy giving it a try?

想要試試嗎?

So grab your potential love interest - or any willing particpant (that's half the battle, says Catron, just trying the experiment signals that you're open to falling in love) and get questioning.

所以抓住你潛在的戀愛對(duì)象，或任意愿意參加的人(卡朗說，這樣就成功一半了，只要嘗試這些實(shí)驗(yàn)，你就對(duì)愛敞開大門了)然后問問題。

You never know what might happen.

你永遠(yuǎn)不知道會(huì)發(fā)生什么。