學(xué)會(huì)這4個(gè)愛(ài)情秘訣 讓你永遠(yuǎn)處在熱戀期

Relationships are love and war. Until you get to the war part of it, it's hard to realize how much work is actually required to maintain your patience, affection and commitment. There are ways you can reinforce and strengthen your relationship so both of you can bounce back from difficult phases as painlessly as possible. Here are five tips:

感情關(guān)乎愛(ài)和戰(zhàn)爭(zhēng)。直到參與了這場(chǎng)“戰(zhàn)爭(zhēng)”，你才會(huì)意識(shí)到為了保持你的耐心、對(duì)另一半的愛(ài)慕以及兌現(xiàn)那些曾經(jīng)許下的諾言，你需要付出多少。以下有5個(gè)方法，能夠使你們的感情更加堅(jiān)固，從而盡快脫離感情低潮。

1. Small gestures count big-time.Consistent 'little things' can add up to one resilient relationship. I'm a believer in Dr. Gottman's 5:1 ratio. The theory is: for every negative action, it takes five positive actions to restore stability in a relationship. Therefore, it's important to build up that positivity whenever you can. Frequent small gestures, such as"thinking of you" text messages, love notes and more are great ways to do this.

1. 小行動(dòng)，大作用。那些“小小行為”不斷地累計(jì)，就會(huì)使你的感情迅速恢復(fù)。我篤信戈特曼博士的五比一概率理論。理論的內(nèi)容是：要恢復(fù)感情的穩(wěn)定，五個(gè)積極的行動(dòng)才能抵消一個(gè)消極的行動(dòng)。因此，盡可能的保持你的積極性就顯得很重要。經(jīng)常性的小動(dòng)作，比如那些“我想你了”之類(lèi)的短信或者是愛(ài)的便條，亦或其他行為都可以起到相同的作用。

2. Talk, don't read.Ever have a hunch that your significant other isn't telling you something?Because relationships (and people) go through phases. It's your time to let the other know that you're feeling left out, or disconnected. Most importantly, remember to open the conversation from a curious standpoint, not confrontational or accusatory.

2. 說(shuō)，不要讀。是不是總覺(jué)得你的另一半根本什么都不講給你聽(tīng)呢?因?yàn)楦星?或是人)會(huì)經(jīng)歷不同的階段。是時(shí)候讓你的另一半知道，你感覺(jué)自己被TA忽略了，沒(méi)有感覺(jué)到彼此的關(guān)聯(lián)。更重要的是，記住要以好奇的角度而不是以一種對(duì)抗和指責(zé)的氛圍開(kāi)啟談話(huà)。

3. Listen, don't talk.It's easy to get caught up in multi-tasking. All of these things can prevent couples from hearing each other completely and communicating well. Always listen to what your loved one is telling you. Four tips for listening better are: focus on your partner, don't interrupt, pay attention to their body language and validate what they said- before you respond.

3. 聽(tīng)，不要說(shuō)。人們很容易被很多事務(wù)纏身。這些事情使得夫妻倆不能互相傾聽(tīng)，也不能夠很好地溝通和交流。要經(jīng)常聽(tīng)聽(tīng)你的摯愛(ài)對(duì)你的傾訴。最好的4個(gè)傾聽(tīng)方式是：注意力集中到你愛(ài)人的身上、不要打斷、注意他們的肢體語(yǔ)言以及在你回應(yīng)之前要確認(rèn)他們說(shuō)的是什么。

4. Put up a good fight.Love is wonderful, but it can also be emotionally exhausting. The popular saying 'Don't go to bed angry' can put pressure on a couple to resolve something that doesn't always have a quick solution. By following that rule, you may be at the giving or receiving end of lip service. Take time to authenticaly resolve a problem. It could take hours or days, and several heated conversations, but do not give up when your relationship is worth fighting for.

4. 為愛(ài)而戰(zhàn)。愛(ài)情是很美妙的，但是愛(ài)情也很耗精力。那句很流行的說(shuō)法“不要帶著怨氣去睡覺(jué)”，給了夫妻倆壓力，得去解決那些無(wú)法快速解決的問(wèn)題。這樣，你們或許最終通過(guò)口頭上說(shuō)些好聽(tīng)話(huà)而平息了爭(zhēng)吵。真正花時(shí)間去解決問(wèn)題吧。或許是幾個(gè)小時(shí)、幾天的時(shí)間也或許要幾經(jīng)激烈的爭(zhēng)論，但只要是感情值得抗?fàn)?，那就別輕言放棄。