怎樣和子女談錢

My eldest daughter recently caught me off guard with a tricky question. It wasn’t about sex, relationships or her future career, but about money. Or to be more precise, my money and how much of it I had.

我的大女兒最近問了我一個(gè)棘手的問題，讓我有些措手不及。這個(gè)問題不是關(guān)于性，也不是關(guān)于感情或她的未來職業(yè)，而是關(guān)于錢?；蛘吒鼫?zhǔn)確地說，是關(guān)于我的錢以及我有多少錢。

Like all young people approaching university, her question was probably inspired mainly by her concern that I will be able to help support her financially during her degree. But I suspect it was also driven by curiosity. I pondered how best to answer her.

正如所有即將跨入大學(xué)的年輕人一樣，她提出這一疑問，很可能是出于對(duì)我能否在她攻讀學(xué)位期間提供經(jīng)濟(jì)支持的擔(dān)憂。但我懷疑這也受好奇心驅(qū)使。我思索著該如何給她最好的答復(fù)。

If I answered it outright, how would it affect her? Would she be more or less motivated to work hard at university? Would she be more or less careful about her spending? How would it affect her relationship with me? Would she tell her friends, inevitably ensuring that their parents knew my financial position? Would those parents be pleased, envious or sorry for me? Why should I care?

如果我坦言相告，會(huì)對(duì)她有怎樣的影響?她會(huì)有更大還是更少的動(dòng)力在大學(xué)里努力學(xué)習(xí)?她在消費(fèi)時(shí)會(huì)更小心還是更隨意?這會(huì)如何影響她跟我的關(guān)系?她會(huì)不會(huì)告訴她的朋友，進(jìn)而不可避免地令她們的父母了解到我的財(cái)務(wù)狀況?那些家長(zhǎng)會(huì)感到高興、嫉妒還是為我遺憾?我為什么要在乎這些?

I could, of course, have chosen not to answer her. But I asked myself whether this might become a cause of tension, distrust or contention between us. It might make it easier — or harder — to involve her in my finances when she is older. Is my financial position any of my daughter’s business anyway?

我當(dāng)然可以選擇不回答她。但我問自己，這會(huì)不會(huì)成為造成我們之間關(guān)系緊張、不信任或出現(xiàn)爭(zhēng)執(zhí)的原因?也許等她年長(zhǎng)一些再讓她介入我的財(cái)務(wù)會(huì)更容易(或者更困難)。無論如何，我的財(cái)務(wù)狀況到底關(guān)不關(guān)我女兒的事?

Many people find it hard to talk about money. This is understandable, because we relate to money on an emotional, not rational, level. Because our money thoughts and feelings are influenced by our emotions, this can lead us to procrastinate or make poor decisions. For some people, money defines their feelings of self-worth, social status and sense of achievement. Others see money as a force for good, while others see it as a necessary evil. Money can be a source of pleasure or pain.

很多人發(fā)現(xiàn)在錢的問題上難以啟齒。這可以理解，因?yàn)槲覀兪窃谇楦?而不是理性)層面思考金錢這個(gè)主題。由于我們對(duì)錢的想法和感覺會(huì)受到情緒的影響，我們可能拖延或者作出糟糕的決定。對(duì)有些人來說，金錢定義了他們所感受到的自我價(jià)值、社會(huì)地位和成就感。有些人視金錢為善的力量，另一些人則視其為“必要之惡”。金錢可能帶來快樂，也可能帶來痛苦。

Depending on your level of wealth, discussing your financial situation with your teenage or young adult children can be fraught with difficulties. Most people want their children to be motivated to make their own way in the world and not to think they can sit back and rely on a future inheritance. Resentment can sometimes be caused when children see their parents spending their wealth on exotic holidays, expensive cars or other luxuries.

取決于你的財(cái)富水平，跟你十來歲或剛成年的子女討論你的財(cái)務(wù)狀況，可能困難重重。大多數(shù)人希望他們的子女具有自己在這個(gè)世界上立足的動(dòng)力，而不是認(rèn)為自己可以無所事事，寄望未來某時(shí)會(huì)得到的那份遺產(chǎn)。當(dāng)子女看到父母把積蓄花在異國假日、豪車或其他奢侈品上，有時(shí)會(huì)產(chǎn)生怨恨。

The next 30 years will see the largest ever transfer of wealth take place, with recent estimates suggesting that at least $16tr of global wealth will pass to the next generation. The majority of which will be transferred over the next 10-30 years. About $830bn of that wealth transfer will occur in the UK. The question is, will the next generation be prepared for it?

未來30年里將出現(xiàn)史上最大規(guī)模的財(cái)富轉(zhuǎn)移，近期估測(cè)似乎表明，全球?qū)⒂兄辽?6萬億美元的財(cái)富轉(zhuǎn)移到下一代手中。其中大部分會(huì)在未來10至30年轉(zhuǎn)移到位。大約8300億美元的財(cái)富轉(zhuǎn)移會(huì)發(fā)生在英國。問題是，下一代會(huì)為此做好準(zhǔn)備嗎?

A key beneficiary of the wealth tsunami in the UK is likely to be the state. The Office for Budget Responsibility forecasts that receipts from inheritance tax in the UK will continue to rise, with nearly £21bn expected to be paid by estates between 2017-2021. The extent to which families can reduce their potential inheritance tax depends, to a large extent, on their personal values, priorities and ability to plan their finances on a family-wide basis.

在英國，這場(chǎng)財(cái)富“海嘯”的一大受益人很可能是政府。政府預(yù)算責(zé)任辦公室(Office for Budget Responsibility)預(yù)測(cè)，英國政府的遺產(chǎn)稅收入將持續(xù)增長(zhǎng)，2017至2021年期間，遺產(chǎn)繳納的稅收總計(jì)將接近210億英鎊。英國家庭可以想方設(shè)法降低潛在的遺產(chǎn)稅，但具體幅度在很大程度上取決于個(gè)人價(jià)值觀、人生重點(diǎn)以及在全家基礎(chǔ)上規(guī)劃財(cái)務(wù)的能力。

Another key consideration is life expectancy. With rising life expectancy, many of us can expect to live into our 90s. This means that wealth transfer upon death is increasingly happening when the beneficiaries are in their 50s or 60s, unless wealth transfers have been made during lifetime. Most people are naturally unwilling to give away substantial amounts of their wealth in their lifetime, if they think they might need it to fund their own lifestyle needs.

另一個(gè)重要的考慮因素是預(yù)期壽命。隨著預(yù)期壽命不斷上升，我們中的很多人有望活到90多歲。這意味著，除了那些在生前發(fā)生的財(cái)富轉(zhuǎn)移，隨身故而發(fā)生的財(cái)富轉(zhuǎn)移，將越來越多地發(fā)生在受益人50多歲甚至60多歲的時(shí)候。多數(shù)人自然不愿意在生前就放棄自己的很大一部分財(cái)富——如果他們認(rèn)為可能需要這筆財(cái)富為自己的生活方式買單。

Generation X — those born between the mid 1960s to the mid 1970s — can also find it difficult to discuss money with their parents. The baby boomer generation grew up after the second world war when rationing was still in place and most people had relatively modest living standards. Many people born before the war grew up during the depression of the 1930s, when times really were tough and waste was frowned upon. In both cases, people in their 60s, 70s and 80s have a very different view of money from their adult children and grandchildren.

在上世紀(jì)60年代中期至70年代中期出生的X一代(Generation X)，可能也會(huì)發(fā)現(xiàn)很難跟他們的父母談?wù)?ldquo;錢”。嬰兒潮中出生的人，成長(zhǎng)于第二次世界大戰(zhàn)后仍實(shí)行配給的年代，那時(shí)多數(shù)人的生活水平相對(duì)一般。同時(shí)很多在戰(zhàn)前出生的人，成長(zhǎng)于30年代大蕭條的艱難時(shí)期，那時(shí)浪費(fèi)被視為可恥。在這兩種情況下，那些年齡在60多歲、70多歲和80多歲的人，跟他們的成年子女和孫輩有非常不同的金錢觀。

One financial adviser firm I know runs regular wealth workshops for adult children of their clients, where they explain basic financial planning concepts and give a generic overview of the type of planning done by their parents and grandparents. This helps create awareness and understanding about family wealth without going into specifics, while also building a relationship between the advice firm and the younger generation, before any transfer of wealth arises.

我知道的一家理財(cái)咨詢公司，會(huì)定期為客戶的成年子女舉辦財(cái)富講座，講解基本的財(cái)務(wù)規(guī)劃理念，并籠統(tǒng)概述這些人的父母和祖父母所做的理財(cái)規(guī)劃類型。這有助于在不談細(xì)節(jié)的基礎(chǔ)上培養(yǎng)對(duì)家庭財(cái)富的意識(shí)和理解，同時(shí)也能在財(cái)富轉(zhuǎn)移發(fā)生之前，在該咨詢公司和較年輕一代之間建立良好關(guān)系。

Another way of developing a dialogue about family finances is to have regular structured family financial planning meetings. Many good financial advice firms are happy to provide this service either as part of their core planning service or for a modest additional fee. These meetings are an ideal forum to discuss things like the appointment and role of trustees, guardians, executors and attorneys.

另一種建立家庭財(cái)務(wù)對(duì)話的方式，是定期舉行有組織的家庭財(cái)務(wù)規(guī)劃會(huì)議。很多不錯(cuò)的理財(cái)咨詢公司都樂意提供這一服務(wù)，要么作為他們理財(cái)規(guī)劃核心服務(wù)的一部分，要么收取少許額外費(fèi)用。此類會(huì)議是討論受托人、監(jiān)護(hù)人、遺囑執(zhí)行人和律師的委任和角色等事務(wù)的理想平臺(tái)。

At the very least it is a good idea to create a “What to do if we die or get seriously ill” document which summarises who the next generation should contact about various financial issues. Together with a statement setting out what assets you own, this should help your adult children or grandchildren make sense of your financial world, even if you haven’t discussed things beforehand.

在最低限度，擬訂一份“如果我們身故或得重病了該怎么辦”的文件是個(gè)不錯(cuò)的主意，可用這份文件為下一代列出在各類財(cái)務(wù)問題上應(yīng)該聯(lián)系誰。連同一份列出你擁有的資產(chǎn)的聲明，這應(yīng)該幫助你的成年子女或?qū)O輩厘清你的財(cái)務(wù)世界，即便你們事先并未討論過。

Back to my daughter and her question about my net worth. I answered: “We have enough money to have a nice lifestyle; for me to choose what type of work I want to do; for us to fund your education and help you buy a house or start a business; for us to support various charities; and for your mother and I not to be a burden on you when we are old.”

回到我的女兒和她提出的有關(guān)我凈資產(chǎn)的問題上。我的回答是：“我們有足夠的錢享有不錯(cuò)的生活方式;我能自主選擇想要做什么樣的工作;我們能資助你的教育，并幫助你買房或創(chuàng)業(yè);我們能支持各種慈善事業(yè);還能確保在我和你的母親年老時(shí)不會(huì)成為你的負(fù)擔(dān)。”

My daughter replied: “I get it, Dad. What you are saying is you’ve opened the door for me but it’s up to me to walk through it, right?” I smiled to myself — that’s the answer I’d expect from someone studying the classics. She continued: “But one day I do want to know what you’re worth.”

我的女兒回答說：“我明白了爸爸。你是說你為我打開了一扇門，但邁入這道門得靠我自己，對(duì)嗎?”我由衷笑了——這是我預(yù)計(jì)會(huì)從古典學(xué)專業(yè)的學(xué)生聽到的回答。她繼續(xù)說：“但總有一天我會(huì)希望知道你的身價(jià)。”

One day she will. I’m just not sure if that will be while I’m alive or when I’m dead!

總有一天她會(huì)知道的。我只是不確定那會(huì)是在我生前還是身故之后!