5種方法幫助你有效地戰(zhàn)勝對(duì)拒絕的恐懼
In fact, it can be difficult to find a way to overcome this fear, but positive thinking can be one of the ways to ease the rejection.
事實(shí)上,要找到克服這種恐懼的方法是很困難的,但是積極的思考可以成為緩解被拒絕的一種方法。
Most of us want to connect with and become close to someone we care about. So, feeling rejected by the people you love is something no one wants. That really is an uncomfortable feeling.
我們大多數(shù)人都想和我們關(guān)心的人聯(lián)系,變得親近。所以,被你愛的人拒絕是沒有人想要的。這真是一種不舒服的感覺。
The pain of rejection can cause a pretty deep "cut" that hurts you for a long time. The truth is that when it's turned down, the areas of the brain that get excited are the same as when you experience physical pain. So if you've tasted them once or more, your brain will remember the pain they cause and may unconsciously develop a vague fear of rejection.
被拒絕的痛苦會(huì)給你帶來(lái)相當(dāng)深的“傷口”,會(huì)傷害你很長(zhǎng)一段時(shí)間。事實(shí)是,當(dāng)它被關(guān)閉時(shí),大腦中興奮的區(qū)域和你經(jīng)歷身體疼痛時(shí)是一樣的。因此,如果你經(jīng)歷過一次或多次,你的大腦會(huì)記住它們?cè)斐傻耐纯?,并可能無(wú)意識(shí)地產(chǎn)生一種對(duì)拒絕的模糊恐懼。
Fear of rejection can make you shy and prevent you from taking risks in order to achieve great life goals. However, you can completely overcome them by changing your mindset and attitude. Try reading through the tips below!
害怕被拒絕會(huì)讓你變得害羞,讓你不敢為了實(shí)現(xiàn)偉大的人生目標(biāo)而冒險(xiǎn)。然而,你可以通過改變你的心態(tài)和態(tài)度來(lái)完全克服它們??纯聪旅娴男≠N士吧!
5 tips to get rid of your fear of being rejected
5個(gè)讓你擺脫被拒絕恐懼的方法
1. Remember that you are not the only one rejected
記住,你不是唯一被拒絕的人
It is very common to be rejected by someone and the fear of rejection is common in many people. Surely most of us have experienced rejection a few times in our lives, whether it be a small thing or a really big thing.
被別人拒絕是很常見的,害怕被拒絕的恐懼在很多人身上都很常見。當(dāng)然,我們大多數(shù)人在生活中都經(jīng)歷過幾次拒絕,不管是小事還是大事。
Of course, no one likes things going against your wishes, but you should also understand that not everything will follow the trajectory you have outlined for them.
當(dāng)然,沒有人喜歡違背意愿的事情,但你也應(yīng)該明白,并不是所有事情都將按照你為他們勾勒的軌跡發(fā)展。
However, don't let those experiences change the way you hope. Always remind yourself that rejection is a very common thing in life. Everyone will have to deal with this at some point in their life. So, don't let fear of rejection in the past influence your current decisions.
但是,不要讓這些經(jīng)歷改變你希望的方式。經(jīng)常提醒自己,拒絕是生活中很常見的事情。每個(gè)人在一生中都會(huì)遇到這樣的問題。所以,不要讓過去對(duì)拒絕的恐懼影響你現(xiàn)在的決定。
2. Frankly admit the true feelings
坦誠(chéng)地承認(rèn)真實(shí)的感受
Whatever the reason for the rejection, it will definitely hurt you, especially if you are sensitive. When the bystanders look in, they may feel you are taking the problem seriously and often advise you to get through with statements like "everything will be fine".
不管被拒絕的原因是什么,它肯定會(huì)傷害到你,尤其是如果你很敏感的話。當(dāng)旁觀者看著你時(shí),他們可能會(huì)覺得你在認(rèn)真對(duì)待這個(gè)問題,并經(jīng)常建議你說“一切都會(huì)好起來(lái)的”。
However, in reality, only you can measure the degree of grief as well as the effect of rejection on your own mood. Feelings of rejection are also related to many other emotions, such as confusion and embarrassment.
然而,在現(xiàn)實(shí)中,只有你能衡量悲傷的程度以及被拒絕對(duì)自己情緒的影響。被拒絕的感覺也與許多其他情緒有關(guān),比如困惑和尷尬。
Remember, no one can accurately describe the feelings you will experience when rejection, except yourself. Therefore, frankly acknowledge your feelings, share them with loved ones if possible, and find ways to cope and control them.
記住,除了你自己,沒有人能準(zhǔn)確地描述你被拒絕時(shí)的感受。因此,坦誠(chéng)地承認(rèn)你的感受,如果可能的話,與你所愛的人分享,并找到處理和控制它們的方法。
3. Don't forget your own values
不要忘記自己的價(jià)值
Rejection can be very intimidating when you take it too seriously. For example, you have been dating for a while and suddenly the other person no longer shows any interest or care. Then, you worry that you may have done something that made them feel bored and do not want to continue the relationship. However, sometimes the problem is not with you, but with both of them or sometimes just the other person.
如果你太認(rèn)真,拒絕可能會(huì)讓你感到害怕。例如,你們已經(jīng)約會(huì)了一段時(shí)間,突然對(duì)方不再表現(xiàn)出任何興趣或關(guān)心。然后,你擔(dān)心你可能做了什么讓他們感到無(wú)聊,不想繼續(xù)你們的關(guān)系。然而,有時(shí)候問題并不在你自己身上,而是在兩人身上,或者有時(shí)候只是對(duì)方的問題。
Building your self-esteem and self-worth helps you to believe that you are absolutely worthy of love. This helps to alleviate the fear of rejection and continue your quest for love.
建立自尊和自我價(jià)值會(huì)讓你相信自己絕對(duì)值得被愛。這有助于減輕對(duì)拒絕的恐懼,并繼續(xù)你對(duì)愛的追求。
4. Maintain a personal opinion
保持個(gè)人觀點(diǎn)
If you are a sensitive person and are worried about everything, you often think things in a negative way. Suppose, you do not pass the university exam as you like and start to worry because you may fail all the programs that you apply for. This makes you have to practice to try again next year.
如果你是一個(gè)敏感的人,對(duì)任何事情都很擔(dān)心,你經(jīng)常以消極的方式思考事情。假設(shè),你沒有通過你喜歡的大學(xué)考試,并開始擔(dān)心,因?yàn)槟闵暾?qǐng)的所有項(xiàng)目可能不及格。這讓你不得不練習(xí)明年再試一次。
Next, you think that maybe next year you will fail again. In the future, where your career future will be, which company will accept you without a degree, then your economy will be unstable. You cannot buy a house, build a home ...
下一年,你可能又會(huì)失敗。在未來(lái),你的職業(yè)前景是什么,哪家公司會(huì)接受沒有學(xué)位的你,你的經(jīng)濟(jì)就會(huì)不穩(wěn)定。你不能買房子,組建家庭…
This cycle of negative thinking is called catastrophizing and of course it's not true at all. Instead of thinking about bad situations and feeling scared, why not hold a strong point of view and belief in yourself, and then develop some backup plans to help overcome your fear of self.
這種消極思維的循環(huán)被稱為災(zāi)難化,當(dāng)然,這根本不是真的。與其想著糟糕的情況,感到害怕,為什么不堅(jiān)持一個(gè)堅(jiān)定的觀點(diǎn),相信自己,然后制定一些后備計(jì)劃來(lái)幫助克服對(duì)自己的恐懼呢?
5. Find out what you are really afraid of when rejected
找出被拒絕時(shí)你真正害怕的是什么
Discovering the truths behind your fear of rejection will help you to deal with it. The fear of rejection may be because you don't like feeling lonely and need someone to love.
發(fā)現(xiàn)你害怕被拒絕背后的真相會(huì)幫助你處理它。害怕被拒絕可能是因?yàn)槟悴幌矚g孤獨(dú)的感覺,需要有人去愛。
If so, instead of finding a partner, why not try to build or strengthen stronger relationships like friends or family? That can help you stop feeling lonely and afraid of rejection. Sometimes, being rejected is no longer scary if you know you still have better relationships.
如果是這樣的話,與其找一個(gè)伴侶,為什么不試著建立或加強(qiáng)更牢固的關(guān)系,比如朋友或家人呢?這可以幫助你不再感到孤獨(dú)和害怕被拒絕。有時(shí)候,如果你知道自己還有更好的關(guān)系,被拒絕就不再可怕了。
If the fear of being rejected by an employer comes from not knowing how to have a stable income stream or not having a backup plan for the future, then why not outline a few other suitable paths. your abilities and implement them when you have not found the job you like?
如果害怕被雇主拒絕是因?yàn)椴恢廊绾斡幸粋€(gè)穩(wěn)定的收入來(lái)源,或者對(duì)未來(lái)沒有后備計(jì)劃,那么為什么不列出一些其他合適的途徑呢?當(dāng)你還沒有找到你喜歡的工作時(shí),你的能力如何發(fā)揮?