·Anonymous·
We chase after it, when it is waiting all about us.
“Are you happy?”I asked my brother, Ian, one day.“Yes. No.It depends on what you mean,”he said.
“Then tell me,”I asked,“when was the last time you think you were happy?”
“April 1967,”he said.
It served me right for putting a serious question to someone who has joked his way through life. But Ian's answer reminded me that when we think about happiness, we usually think of something extraordinary, a pinnacIe of sheer delight-and those pinnacles seem to get rarer the older we get.
For a child, happiness has a magical quality. I remember making hide-outs in newly cut hay, playing cops and robbers in the woods, getting a speaking part in the school play.Of course, kids also experience lows, but their delight at such peaks of pleasure as winning a race or getting a new bike is unreserved.
In the teenage years the concept of happiness changes. Suddenly it's conditional on such things as excitement, love, popularity and whether that zit will clear up before prom night.I can still feel the agony of not being invited to a party that almost everyone else was going to.But I also recall the ecstasy of being plucked from obscurity at another event to dance with a John Travolta look-alike.
In adulthood the things that bring profound joy-birth, love, marriage also-bring responsibility and the risk of loss. Love may not last, sex isn't always good, loved ones die.For adults, happiness is complicated.
My dictionary defines happy as“l(fā)ucky”or“fortunate,”but I think a better definition of happiness is“the capacity for enjoyment.”The more we can enjoy what we have, the happier we are. It's easy to overlook the pleasure we get from loving and being loved, the company of friends, the freedom to live where we please, and even good health.
I added up my little moments of pleasure yesterday. First there was sheer bliss when I shut the last lunch-box and had the house to myself.Then I spent an uninterrupted morning writing, which I love.When the kids came home, I enjoyed their noise after the quiet of the day.
Later, peace descended again, and my husband and I enjoyed another pleasure-intimacy. Sometimes just the knowledge that he wants me can bring me joy.
You never know where happiness will turn up next. When I asked friends what made them happy, some mentioned seemingly insignificant moments.“I hate shopping,”one friend said.“but there's a clerk who always chats and really cheers me up.”Another friend loves the telephone“Every time it rings, I know someone is thinking about me.”
I get a thrill from driving. One day I stopped to let a school bus turn onto a side road.The driver grinned and gave me the thumbs up sign.We were two aIIies in a world of mad motorists.It made me smile.
We all experience moments like these. Too few of us register them as happiness.
Psychologists tell us that to be happy we need a blend of enjoyable leisure time and satisfying work. I doubt that my great-grandmother, who raised 14 children and took in washing, had much of either.She did have a network of close friends and family, and maybe this was what fulfilled her.If she was happy with what she had, perhaps it was because she didn't expect life to be very different.
We, on the other hand, with so many choices and such pressure to succeed in every area, have turned happiness into one more thing we“gotta have.”We're so self-conscious about our“right”to it that it's making us miserable. So we chase it and equate it with wealth and success, without noticing that the people who have those things aren't necessarily happier.
While happiness may be more complex for us, the solution is the same as ever. Happiness isn't about what happens to us-it's about how we perceive what happens to us.It's the knack of finding a positive for every negative, and viewing a setback as a challenge.It's not wishing for what we don't have, but enjoying what we do possess.
逸名
我們四處追逐幸福,而幸福其實(shí)就在我們身邊。
一天,我問哥哥伊恩:“你感到幸福嗎?”他回答說:“可以說幸福,也可以說不幸福,這要看你指什么了。”
“那你告訴我,”我說,“最近一次你感到幸福是什么時(shí)候?”
“1967年4月?!彼鸬?。
我真不該對一個(gè)游戲人生的人提出這么嚴(yán)肅的問題,但伊恩的回答卻給了我一個(gè)啟示:我們想到的幸福時(shí)刻通常是一些非同尋常的事,一種純粹的快樂——但是隨著年齡的增長,這種快樂好像越來越少了。
對一個(gè)孩子來說,幸福有著夢幻般的色彩。記得我曾在新鮮的干草垛中捉迷藏;在樹林里玩“警察與小偷”的游戲;在學(xué)校的戲劇里扮演有臺(tái)詞的角色。當(dāng)然,孩子也有情緒低落的時(shí)候。但是,因?yàn)橼A得一場比賽,或得了一輛新單車,他們會(huì)毫不掩飾地快樂到極點(diǎn)。
到了青少年時(shí)期,幸福觀逐漸轉(zhuǎn)變。突然間,幸福就建立在激動(dòng)、愛情、名氣甚至是臉上的青春痘能否在晚會(huì)前消失這樣的事上。我清楚地記得大家都去參加一個(gè)舞會(huì),而我未被邀請時(shí)的痛苦。但也記得,在另一次活動(dòng)中,我意外地與一個(gè)貌似約翰·特拉沃爾塔的人共舞時(shí)的興奮。
成年后,心靈深處最令人喜悅的是生育、愛情和婚姻。所有這些同時(shí)也帶來了責(zé)任和喪失。愛情可能會(huì)消逝,性愛也不總是如意,心愛的人可能會(huì)死去。對于成年人來說,幸福很復(fù)雜。
字典里幸福的定義是“幸運(yùn)”或“好運(yùn)”,但我認(rèn)為幸福更好的定義是“感受快樂的能力”。更多地享受我們擁有的一切,我們就能更多地享受幸福。但是,愛與被愛,友人相伴,簡單的生活,甚至健康的體魄,這些細(xì)碎的快樂卻很容易被我們忽視。
我合計(jì)了一下昨日的幸福時(shí)光,首先我準(zhǔn)備好了最后一個(gè)午餐飯盒,獨(dú)享整個(gè)房間,感受無比的幸福。然后,整個(gè)早上,我都在寫作并且無人打擾,這是我樂于做的。孩子們回到家,我又享受著寂靜一天后的熱鬧。
不久,再次恢復(fù)寧靜,我和丈夫享受另一種快樂——親熱。有時(shí)候只要想到他需要我,就能給我?guī)砜鞓贰?/p>
你永遠(yuǎn)不會(huì)知道幸福下一次會(huì)在什么時(shí)候出現(xiàn)。當(dāng)我問起朋友,什么能給他們帶來幸福時(shí),有些人會(huì)提到一些看似微不足道的小事?!拔矣憛捹徫?,”一個(gè)朋友說,“但有一個(gè)健談的售貨員的確令我很開心?!绷硪粋€(gè)朋友喜歡接電話,“每次電話一響,我就知道有人想我了?!?/p>
我喜歡開車的刺激。一天,我停下來,讓一輛學(xué)校班車拐到路邊。那個(gè)司機(jī)咧嘴一笑,會(huì)意地豎起大拇指。在一個(gè)充滿飆車黨的世界,我們倆結(jié)成了同盟。這讓我很開心。
我們都有過類似的經(jīng)歷,但很少有人能意識(shí)到這就是幸福。
心理學(xué)家告訴我們,幸福既需要愉快的休閑時(shí)間,也需要滿意的工作。我的曾祖母讓我很疑惑,她養(yǎng)育了十四個(gè)孩子,還要給別人洗衣服,看起來,她并沒有休閑的時(shí)間,也沒有滿意的工作,但她有幾個(gè)親密的朋友和和睦的家庭,或許,這已使她很滿足了。如果說她因自己擁有的一切感到幸福,或許是因?yàn)樗⒉幌M钍橇硪环瑯幼印?/p>
另一方面,我們因?yàn)橛刑嗟倪x擇及想在各個(gè)領(lǐng)域成功的壓力,讓我們把幸福變成“必須得到”的一種東西。我們自私地以為我們有“權(quán)”得到它,這也是我們痛苦的根源。所以我們?nèi)プ非笮腋?,并將它同?cái)富和成功聯(lián)系起來,而沒有意識(shí)到擁有財(cái)富和成功的人并不一定更幸福。
對我們來說,幸福是復(fù)雜多樣的,但獲得幸福的方式卻是相同的。幸福不是發(fā)生在我們周圍的事——而是我們?nèi)绾稳タ创車l(fā)生的事。這是變不利為有利、化挫折為激勵(lì)的秘訣。幸福并非是乞求我們未得到的,而是享受我們此刻所擁有的一切。
核心單詞
extraordinary[iks'tr?:dnri]adj.異常的;特別的,非凡的
pinnacIe['pin?kl]n.尖頂;山頂,山峰
sheer[?i?]adj.全然的;純粹的
unreserved['?nri'z?:vd]adj.不隱瞞的,坦率的;完全的
descend[di'send]v.下來,下降
aIIies[?'laiz]n.協(xié)約國,同盟國
實(shí)用句型
She did have a network of cIose friends and famiIy, and maybe this was what fuIfiIIed her.
她有幾個(gè)親密的朋友和和睦的家庭,或許,這已使她很滿足了。①did 在這里起強(qiáng)調(diào)作用,可翻譯為“確實(shí)”。
②a network of 一些,類似的表達(dá)還有 a crowd of許多;a number of一些等固定搭配。
翻譯練習(xí)
1.在精力充沛的年輕時(shí)代,他從未停止對自己夢想的追求。(chase after)
2.他把座位讓給了一位老人。(give up)
3.塞翁失馬,焉知非福;塞翁得馬,焉知非禍。(on the other hand)