短篇英語(yǔ)笑話(huà)合集

短篇英語(yǔ)笑話(huà)合集

忙碌之余可以看一點(diǎn)不一樣的哦!英語(yǔ)笑話(huà)既解壓又在放松之余學(xué)到了新單詞，是不是一舉兩得呢?

1. Feedback

反應(yīng)

A motorist got caught in one of those new radar traps.He had been driving home one night when the automatic camera identified his car as exceeding the speed limit, Soon after，he received a ticket in the mail，plus a picture of this vehicle with the date and speed recorded on it.

一個(gè)飛車(chē)手被新的雷達(dá)測(cè)速儀捕獲。那是他在一天晚上超速駕車(chē)回家時(shí)，被自動(dòng)照像機(jī)攝下了他的汽車(chē)。不久，他便收到了一個(gè)裝有罰款單的信封，里面裝有他汽車(chē)的照片、超速的日期和速度。

Duly impressed, he sent back the ticket, along with a photo of a $100 bill to pay the fine. 他對(duì)這種方式的印象極為深刻，于是寄回了那張罰款單，并附上了一張一百元美金的照片作為罰金。

2. .Identification

證明

A woman came into our bank to get a check cashed，but she didn't have an account with us. When I asked her for some identification, she showed me several charge cards，her Social Security card and a library card. I told her we needed a driver's license，but she didri t have one. 一位婦女來(lái)到我們銀行想兌換一張支票，但她在我們這兒沒(méi)建立帳戶(hù)。當(dāng)我問(wèn)她要證明材料時(shí)，她把社會(huì)保險(xiǎn)卡、圖書(shū)卡拿給我看。我告訴她我們要看她的駕駛證，她說(shuō)她沒(méi)有。

"Don't you have something with your picture on it?"I asked.

“難道你就沒(méi)帶照片的東西嗎?”

"Oh, sure,"she said as she flipped to a family photo in her wallet. "That's me in the back row. " “噢，有啊，”她邊說(shuō)邊從錢(qián)包里拿出一張合家照，“站在后排的那個(gè)就是我。”

3. As the years turn

生日來(lái)臨之際

For her 82nd birthday，I surprised my grandmother with a birthday greeting signed by the President. (Upon request，this service is available to seniors over 80.)

When I asked grandma how she felt receiving a card from the White House，she had a ready answer. "There's no privacy in this country any more,"she said. "They even keep track of your birthday. "

我奶奶過(guò)82歲的生日時(shí)，我送給她一份驚奇的禮物—一張由總統(tǒng)簽名的生日賀卡。(根據(jù)規(guī)定，80歲以上的老年人可得到此項(xiàng)服務(wù)。)

當(dāng)我問(wèn)奶奶收到來(lái)自白宮的賀卡有何感想時(shí)，她毫不猶豫地回答說(shuō):“在這個(gè)國(guó)家，再也沒(méi)有隱私了，他們就連你的生日都追蹤著。”

4. Peter decides the grade

彼得的長(zhǎng)相決定了分?jǐn)?shù)

One semester when my brother, Peter，attended the University of Minnesota in Minneapolis，an art-student friend of his asked if he could paint Peter's portait for a class.assignment. Peter agreed，and the art student painted and submitted the portrait, only to receive a C minus.

我兄弟彼得在明尼阿波利斯的明尼索達(dá)大學(xué)上學(xué)時(shí)，有一個(gè)學(xué)期，他的一位學(xué)藝術(shù)的朋友問(wèn)他是否可以用他做素描的模特作為課堂作業(yè)。彼得同意了。那位藝術(shù)生畫(huà)完了，就把肖像交給了老師。他只得了一個(gè)C-.

The art student approached the professor to ask why the grade was so poor. The teacher told him that the proportions in the painting were incorrect.”The head is too big，”the professor explained.”The shoulders are too wide， and the feet are enormous."

那位藝術(shù)生找到教授問(wèn)為什么他的分?jǐn)?shù)這么低。教授告訴他肖像中的比例失調(diào)，教授說(shuō):“腦袋太大，肩太寬，腳也過(guò)于大了。”

The next day,the art student brought Peter to see the professor. He took one Look at my brother."Okay, A minus. "he said.

第二天，那位藝術(shù)生帶彼得見(jiàn)教授，教授看了我兄弟一眼，并說(shuō):“好，可以得A-。”

5. Wife's desire

妻子的欲望

A woman and her husband were out shopping when she realized that she needed to purchase some hair color for her graying hair.

一位女士在與他的丈夫購(gòu)物時(shí)，她意識(shí)到她該為她的灰白頭發(fā)買(mǎi)些染發(fā)水了。

"When are you going to stop buying that expensive stuff ,"complained the husband."and let your hair go gray like Barbara Bush?"

她丈夫抱怨說(shuō):“你什么時(shí)候才能停止買(mǎi)那些昂貴的東西，而讓你的頭發(fā)長(zhǎng)成像芭芭拉.布什(總統(tǒng)夫人)的頭發(fā)那樣灰白呢?”

"The day that you're inaugurated,"the wife replied. “那就要等到你就職的那天了。”妻子說(shuō)。

不僅放松了自己，還學(xué)到了知識(shí)!大家下篇見(jiàn)啦!