美國的第一位大麻評論家

The Life of a Pot Critic: Clean, With Citrus Notes

美國的第一位大麻評論家

Jake Browne was seated in a yellow suede chair, carefully rotating a marijuana bud between his fingers. “I’m looking for bugs, mildew, things I wouldn’t want to ingest,” he said, leaning forward to hold the nickel-size flower up to the light. He paused, then took a sip of water from a cup with a Miley Cyrus hologram down its side. “This looks clean,” he concluded.

丹佛——杰克·布朗尼(Jake Browne)坐在一張黃色山羊皮椅子上，手指悉心撥弄一支大麻花蕾。“我在找蟲子、霉斑之類我不想攝入的東西，”他身體前傾，把手上硬幣大小的花朵迎向光線，頓了一下，從面前印著麥莉·塞勒斯(Miley Cyrus)全息圖的杯子里喝了口水。“它挺干凈的，”他總結(jié)道。

Mr. Browne, 31, held the bud up to his nose and inhaled. Then he opened his computer. “Faint lemony sweetness,” he typed, before loading the pot into a small glass pipe.

31歲的布朗恩把這支花蕾舉到鼻邊，吸了口氣。然后打開電腦。“略帶檸檬甜香，”他輸入，之后把這支大麻塞進一個小小玻璃煙斗。

“I usually will take one, maybe two hits,” he said as he fired up the bowl. “I’m looking for how it burns, the taste, if it’s flushed well — meaning you don’t want to taste the fertilizers or chemicals.” He exhaled, waited and then turned to his computer again. “Head high. No initial body effect,” he wrote.

“我一般吸一輪，或者兩輪，”他點燃煙斗說。“我在觀察它怎樣燃燒，品味它的味道，它采摘得好不好——也就是說，你可不想嘗到化肥或者化學(xué)制品的味道。”他吸了一口氣，等了等，然后又轉(zhuǎn)向電腦。“很上頭。沒有最初的身體效果，”他寫道。

This is Mr. Browne’s job (or, at least, one of his jobs). The longtime resident of Colorado — where marijuana has been legal since January — is a comedian, a producer and a founder (with his fiancée) of a mail-order subscription box for hemp products.

這就是布朗的工作(或者說至少是他的部分工作)。他常住科羅拉多州——自一月開始，大麻在這個州實現(xiàn)了合法化——還是喜劇演員兼制作人，同未婚妻一起合開了一家郵購大麻制品公司。

He is also the first pot critic for The Denver Post, Colorado’s oldest and largest daily newspaper. Which means that, every week, Mr. Browne takes a city bus from his home in Denver’s Highland neighborhood, crosses a street called Green Court and lands at one of the city’s downtown marijuana dispensaries to choose his product. Yes, he is paid to smoke it — and then write about the high.

他也是《丹佛郵報》(The Denver Post)——科羅拉多州歷史最悠久、發(fā)行量最大的日報——聘請的首位大麻評論家。也就是說，布朗每星期都要坐著大巴從自己位于丹佛高地的家中出發(fā)，穿過一條名叫綠色庭院的街道，來到市中心若干大麻藥房中的某一個，挑選自己要鑒定的產(chǎn)品。是的，別人付錢給他吸大麻，然后他寫文章，描述藥物高潮的感覺。

“The thing people say to me most often is, ‘Dude, you must have the best job ever,’ ” said Mr. Browne, sitting in his living room. “It’s either that, or, if they’re from out of state, ‘Can you send me pot?’ ”

“人們最常對我說的是，‘伙計，這可是天下最好的工作了，’”布朗尼坐在自己的起居室里說。“根本不明白這回事的人就會說，‘你能給我點大麻嗎?’”

The Post has had two pot critics on its roster since it created a spinoff site, The Cannabist, in December. (The newspaper is searching for a third, as well as a sex columnist to write about pot and intimacy.) While adding the jobs — particularly for a mainstream newspaper — created something of a stir, Ricardo Baca, the newspaper’s newly appointed cannabis editor (and a longtime staff member) said it simply made journalistic sense. “We have a restaurant critic and wine reviewers,” he said. “We have an award-winning craft beer blog. From that logic you do need a pot critic — and maybe a few of them.”

《郵報》自從12月創(chuàng)辦子網(wǎng)站“大麻使用者”(The Cannabist)后聘請了兩名大麻評論家(該報正在尋找第三個，此外還在找專寫大麻與親密關(guān)系的性專欄作家)。引進這一職位引起了風(fēng)波，特別是身為一家主流報紙。 里卡多·貝薩(Ricardo Baca) 是報紙新上任的大麻編輯(他是一位老員工)，他說，這只是出于新聞意識。“我們報紙有餐館評論家和品酒家，”他說，“我們還有一個獲獎自釀啤酒博客。從這個邏輯上說，你確實需要一個大麻評論家，也許還需要好幾個。”

Mr. Browne’s path into the role was unlikely. He grew up in Iowa, where, after high school, he tried his hand as a male model (Ashton Kutcher, another former model, was from his hometown). When that didn’t work out, he moved to Colorado (“I had just read ‘On the Road,’ ” he said) and enrolled in a technical college, but dropped out. For the next few years he waited tables and worked as a bartender.

布朗尼走上這條路的過程很不可思議。他在愛荷華州長大，中學(xué)畢業(yè)后嘗試做模特(做模特起家的阿什頓·庫徹[Ashton Kutcher]就來自他的家鄉(xiāng))。但他沒有成功，于是就搬來科羅拉多(“我當時剛讀完《在路上》[On the Road]，”他說)，上了一所技術(shù)學(xué)院，但又退學(xué)了。接下來的幾年他一直做侍者和酒保的工作。

Pot wasn’t legal for recreational use when he first got into the business, helping a friend who had opened a medical dispensary keep the books. (“They had been organizing files by first name,” Mr. Browne said, laughing.) He wasn’t a big pot smoker, but liked the business side of it. He became the company’s marketing director and general manager, started a blog and opened up a pot consulting business on the side.

他剛進入這個行業(yè)的時候是幫一個開大麻藥店的朋友記賬，當時娛樂用大麻還沒有合法化(“他們得按人名來管理檔案，”布朗笑著說)。他并不沉迷大麻，但是喜歡其中買賣的部分。他成了這家公司的市場總監(jiān)和總經(jīng)理，開了博客，還在藥店旁邊做大麻咨詢的生意。

He saw the ad for a pot critic on Facebook (“where else?” he joked) and replied with a visual résumé he’d designed himself — complete with a giant photo of a piece of bacon (just for fun, he said). But it wasn’t the swine that sold his editor (nor was it simply his writing). “He was an authority on weed already,” Mr. Baca said. “He had valuable experience working inside the industry.”

后來他看到Facebook上征集大麻評論師的廣告(“不然還會是哪兒?”他開玩笑)就遞了一份自己設(shè)計的平面圖像簡歷——包括一張印著一片培根的大照片(只是為了好玩，他說)。但打動了編輯的不是豬肉(也不僅僅是他的文筆)。“他已經(jīng)是大麻的權(quán)威了，”貝薩說，“他擁有寶貴的業(yè)內(nèi)經(jīng)驗。”

Mr. Browne also has a biological gift of sorts: He is a supertaster. That is, somebody who possesses more taste buds than the average person (at least according to an online survey he took).

布朗尼還擁有一種生物學(xué)上的天賦：他的味覺特別豐富。也就是說，他比普通人更能品嘗出大麻花蕾的滋味(至少他參加的一項網(wǎng)絡(luò)調(diào)查是這么說的)。

In total so far, Mr. Browne has written 27 reviews. He critiqued a strain called Jack Flash (“it practically jumped through my monitor and into my pipe”); 303 Kush (“almost overwhelming”); and wrote about a Willie Nelson-themed varietal called Red Headed Stranger No. 14 (“a little less mentally racy” but with a “strong overall high”). And while his taste buds play a role in the critiques, certainly, there is more to it.

迄今布朗尼已經(jīng)寫了27篇評論。他評價過名叫“杰克閃電”的大麻(“它在我的監(jiān)測儀上跳躍，一直跳進我的煙斗”);“303 庫什”(“簡直勢不可擋”);還有一款以威利·尼爾森(Willie Nelson)為主題的品種，名叫“紅發(fā)陌生人14號”(“精神上的力度不夠”，但是有“綜合性的強烈高潮”)。不僅如此，品嘗大麻花蕾在他的評論中自然也有一席之地。

“I think people underestimate cannabis,” Mr. Browne said. “You wouldn’t walk into a restaurant and say, ‘I’ll have the wine.’ So why would you assume people would do that for cannabis? In the same way that pinot grigio and pinot noir may sound similar but are completely different, names like Lemon OG and Lemon Skunk are very different strains with very different flavor components and completely different highs.”

“我覺得人們低估了大麻，”布朗尼說。“你不會走進飯館說，‘我要喝葡萄酒’。所以為什么大麻就可以這樣隨便呢?就像灰皮諾葡萄酒和黑皮諾葡萄酒聽上去差不多，嘗起來卻大不一樣，‘檸檬OG’和‘檸檬斯坎克’也是非常不同的品種，有非常不同的氣味成分，帶給人非常不同的高潮體驗。”

A typical day for Mr. Browne likely starts by testing a few products. On this particular day, he spent the morning at three dispensaries: LoDo Wellness, on a street called Wazee; Euflora, also known as “the Apple store for weed” (though, as Mr. Browne pointed out, it actually looked more like a RadioShack); and finally, a shop called Good Chemistry.

布朗尼典型的一天以檢測集中大麻產(chǎn)品開始。比如今天，他整個上午都在逛三個大麻店：LoDo Wellness(街頭俗稱“Wazze”);Euflora，別名“大麻的蘋果店”(但布朗尼指出，它其實更像RadioShack店);還有一家名叫“好化學(xué)”的店。

The key to pot criticism, Mr. Browne said, is knowing your audience. While he tries to keep his language basic enough that a nonsmoker could understand it (“I think pot needs smart people to be ambassadors to the masses,” he said), he doesn’t want to be condescending to those who do. “I never want to be that pretentious pot critic,” he said.

布朗尼說，大麻評論的關(guān)鍵就在于了解你的讀者。他試著讓自己的語言盡量基本，以便不吸大麻的人也能看懂(“我覺得需要讓聰明人充當使者，把大麻推廣給大眾，”他說)，他也不想對那些吸大麻的人擺出居高臨下的姿態(tài)。“我絕不會做那種裝腔作勢的大麻評論家，”他說。

The reviews themselves have a certain formula. Mr. Browne begins with a physical description of the product (is it moist, with the THC visible, or a drier, less tightly packed bud?) as well as the smell and taste (“rubber and pepper dominate the jar like a bunch of green army men relegated to miniature mess hall duty,” he wrote recently, of an “unfortunately titled” strain called Alien Napalm).

他的評論有一定套路。先是以對產(chǎn)品的外觀描述開始(是否潮濕、四氫大麻酚是否可見、是否經(jīng)過干燥、花蕾不夠緊密?)，此外還有氣味和味道(“罐子里滿是橡膠和胡椒的味道，就像一群軍人被罰去清掃食堂，”最近他的一篇文中寫道，他所評價的這種大麻有個“不幸的名字”——“異星凝固汽油彈”)。

He will find out where the product was harvested (in Napalm’s case, a “veganic grow”) and tell the reader where he bought it (because each manufacturer has its own wacky strain names). Sometimes he’ll describe the sound of the bud firing up (“snap, crackle, pop”) or what, and how much, he ate after (“apple juice and ants on a log,” he said, referring to the children’s snack of raisins and peanut butter on top of celery).

他會查出產(chǎn)品的產(chǎn)地(比如“汽油彈”就是“素食者種的”)，告訴讀者他是在什么地方買的(因為所有制造商都有自己專屬的奇怪名字)。有時候他會描述大麻燃燒的聲音(“啪、喀喇、砰”)等信息，還有吸過大麻后他吃了多少東西(“蘋果汁和一窩螞蟻”他指的其實是一種兒童點心，是葡萄干和花生醬蘸芹菜)。

The most important element of being a pot critic, though, is one that traditional food criticism may lack (at least in this much detail): how the product makes you feel. Seated in his living room testing out the Lemon Kush, Mr. Browne kept detailed notes from the moment he ingested, and observed how it moved through his body. (When writing about Jack Flash, another strain, he once noted that it “always gets me straight between the temples.”) With the Kush, he observed whether the pot relieved his headache (a little) and tracked, in painstaking detail, how the feeling of the high evolved.

不過，大麻評論中最重要的東西是傳統(tǒng)食物評論里所沒有的(至少在大麻評論里有更多細節(jié))：這種東西帶給你什么樣的感受。布朗尼坐在自己的起居室里測試“檸檬庫什”，一邊使用一邊寫下詳細的筆記，觀察它是如何在自己身體里游走。在寫“杰克閃電”的時候，他曾經(jīng)寫道，“它讓我太陽穴之間繃得緊緊的”。至于“檸檬庫什”，他觀察到這種大麻緩解了他的頭疼(只有一點)，并且非常努力地追溯著細節(jié)，記下高潮不斷進化的體驗是怎樣的。

In his accounting, Lemon Kush was relatively mellow, but a few months back, he had a different experience with a different strain. “After the second hit, I was floored. No thoughts, just pure experience. An instant flow state,” he wrote of the Red Headed Stranger No. 14. Ten minutes later, he observed a sudden shift: “I’m a human coffee, spewing words like dark-roasted drip.”

根據(jù)他的描述，“檸檬庫什”較為柔和，但在幾個月前，另一個品種帶給他完全不同的體驗。“吸第二口的時候，我倒在地板上。沒有想法，只是純粹的體驗，一種即時的流狀態(tài)，”他寫的是“紅發(fā)陌生人14號”。十分鐘后，他觀察到一個突然的變化：“我是人體咖啡，像深焙滴濾壺一樣滴落著語言。”

In the spirit of service journalism — and, he said, what is pot criticism if not a service? — each of Mr. Browne’s reviews ends with a summary. Alien Napalm, for instance, he concluded is great for sleep, pain or increasing appetite (but “never use it for an appetizer”). The Red Headed Stranger is good for “loosening of limbs and muscles.” But if that’s the effect you’re going for, make sure to stay away from Green Crack. (“I’m no physician, but this is as close as I’ve come to marijuana-induced A.D.D.,” he wrote.)

根據(jù)服務(wù)新聞主義精神——他說，如果大麻評論不是一種服務(wù)，那它還能是什么呢——布朗尼的每篇評論最后都有總結(jié)。比如說，他給“異星凝固汽油彈”寫的總結(jié)是：它有助睡眠、緩解疼痛和增進食欲(但是，“絕對不要作為開胃藥使用”);“紅發(fā)陌生人”對“放松四肢和肌肉”有好處。但如果你想追求身體方面的益處，就千萬別碰“綠裂縫”，(“我不是醫(yī)生，但使用它讓我差點得了大麻誘發(fā)的注意力缺陷障礙，”他寫道。)