誰將代表美國申辦2024奧運會?

2. Los Angeles

洛杉磯

Have you been to Boston? It’s boring.

去過波士頓嗎?那兒沒勁透了。

Sorry, Washington: No nation wants to send athletes to the home of the National Security Agency.

對不起了華盛頓：沒有一個國家愿意把運動員送進國家安全局的老窩。

That leaves Los Angeles with one actual competitor, San Francisco. It’s up to you, International Olympic Committee, but the population of that peninsula city — already terribly full of its Apple-Google-Uber self — would very likely burst into a fireball of smugness if it was also given the 2024 Olympics. Think it over.

所以洛杉磯只剩下一個真正的對手，那就是舊金山。國際奧委會，決定在你。但是那座半島城市現(xiàn)在已經(jīng)到處都是蘋果、谷歌、優(yōu)步公司那些自負的家伙們了，如果它再獲得2024年奧運會的主辦權(quán)，那里的人肯定得意到要爆炸了。好好想想這個吧。

Los Angeles, on the other hand, is the perfect choice.

換句話說，洛杉磯才是完美的選擇。

The Chinese will be running Hollywood by then (except for North Korea’s Democratic Republic of Sony Pictures), so their athletes will feel right at home. To save on housing costs, David Geffen can offer to host the men’s gymnastics team at his mansion. And also the men’s water polo team.

到時候中國已經(jīng)接管了好萊塢(除了歸北朝鮮民主主義人民共和國領(lǐng)導的索尼影業(yè))，所以他們的運動員肯定會覺得賓至如歸。為了節(jié)省住宿開銷，男子體操隊可以住進大衛(wèi)·格芬(David Geffen)的大宅子，男子水球隊也能住進去。

Beach volleyball? Hello.

沙灘排球?不成問題。

True, there will be no water for the aquatic center. Perhaps the pools could be filled with San Pellegrino. Or perhaps the divers could simply be trained to land in one of those itty-bitty washtubs, the way they used to at the circus. We’ll work it out.

沒錯，到時候水上運動中心里不會有水。沒準可以用圣培露礦泉水灌滿泳池。又或者跳水運動員可以練習著跳進一個小洗澡盆里，以前的馬戲團就是這么干的。我們總會有辦法的。

Imagine the opening ceremony Los Angeles could put together: Meryl Streep riding sidesaddle on a dolphin. Magic Johnson and Mama Kardashian carrying the torch. Fireworks sponsored by “Star Wars: Episode Ad Nauseam: Does It Really Matter What We Subtitle These Anymore, Part 1.”

試想在洛杉磯舉辦的開幕式可以湊出什么東西來：梅麗爾·斯特里普(Meryl Streep)騎海豚。魔術(shù)師約翰遜(Magic Johnson)和卡戴珊大媽(Mama Kardashian)舉火炬。焰火由《星球大戰(zhàn)：沒完沒了的第N集：起什么副標題還重要嗎，第一部》贊助。

Look, there are pros and cons for every potential host city. Pro: Los Angeles would become more health-conscious than it already is. Con: Los Angeles would become more health-conscious than it already is.

你看，關(guān)于每個主辦城市都有贊同和反對意見。正方：洛杉磯本來就夠有健康意識的了，到時候會更有健康意識。反方：洛杉磯本來就夠有健康意識的了，到時候會更有健康意識。

But the City of Angels, really and truly, is a terrific choice. Get under the hood, beyond its silly celebrity facade, and you will see how serious a contender it is:

但是這座天使之城的確是一個非常好的選擇。透過愚蠢的名人文化假象，深入它的內(nèi)部，你會發(fā)現(xiàn)它的確是一個有力的競爭者。

Los Angeles is bigger than Boston, Washington and San Francisco combined. More than 30 countries have their second largest population in Los Angeles, a region of roughly 19 million people, giving a home-field advantage to more than Americans.

洛杉磯比波士頓、華盛頓和舊金山加起來都大。這里的人口大約是1900萬，有30多個國家都在洛杉磯擁有為數(shù)最多的海外僑民，除了美國人，其他不少國家在這里也擁有主場優(yōu)勢。

Naysayers will bray that Los Angeles has hosted the Summer Games, twice. True, and that experience could be critical. Besides, London has been an Olympic city three times, so get over it.

反對者會大吵大鬧說洛杉磯已經(jīng)兩次主辦過夏季奧運會了。確實如此，但這種經(jīng)驗也是很重要的。另外，倫敦還主辦過三次奧運會呢，所以就別糾結(jié)這個了。

Among subway construction, road improvements and a desperately needed modernization of the Los Angeles International Airport, $40 billion worth of infrastructure enhancements are underway.

除了地鐵建設，地面道路也在改善、亟需現(xiàn)代化的洛杉磯國際機場正在進行翻修，還有價值400億美元的基礎(chǔ)設施改善工作也在進行中。

In other words, stuff is being built in Los Angeles — unlike in San Francisco, where something as seemingly simple as improving four grass soccer fields last year was met with litigation, protests and a ballot measure. (For real.)

換句話說，在洛杉磯，建設工作已經(jīng)在進行，而舊金山呢?在那兒，去年連改善四塊帶草皮的足球場這么簡單的一件事都吃了官司、遭到抗議，還得做投票決議(這是真的)。

Speaking of roads, everyone worries about Southern California’s famous freeway gridlock, which can indeed be formidable. But in 2011 and 2012, when a particularly busy stretch of Interstate 405 was closed for days at a time to accommodate construction, the opposite of Carmageddon happened: the streets emptied, with residents foregoing unnecessary trips.

至于道路問題，大家都擔心南加州著名的高速路交通堵塞，確實很可怕。但在2011年到2012年，繁忙的405州際公路關(guān)閉數(shù)日進行建設期間，不但沒有發(fā)生末日大混戰(zhàn)，相反街道都空了，居民們把非必要的行程提前，以便錯過這段時間。

Finally: Have you been to Boston? BROOKS BARNES

最后，你去過波士頓嗎? BROOKS BARNES