新視野大學(xué)英語(yǔ)讀寫(xiě)教程第三冊(cè)u(píng)nit4-c Life in Low-Grade Terror

Section (C)

Life in Low-Grade Terror

The phone rang, and I grabbed it as fast as I could. "Thank you for calling the Psychic Network (通靈熱線)," I said as I started my presentation. "I read tarot cards(塔羅特紙牌). I'm mixing the cards now; tell me when it feels right to stop." As usual, I made noises with the cards without bothering to mix them, much less read them.

The first time I saw a psychic television commercial (通靈大師電視商業(yè)廣告), I wasn't as interested in the famous people advertising the service as I was in ordinary people talking about the life-transforming psychic help they had received. As I recall, an office manager said her psychic (通靈大師) told her that the first man she talked to at a Christmas (圣誕) party would become her husband — now they're married and expecting a child.

A housewife who lost her cat found it in the exact place predicted. But the satisfied customers — mostly women — didn't look like they could afford $3.99 a minute to talk to a psychic on the phone. At the time, I was a struggling writer. I decided to get a job as a psychic and then write about it.

To start my career, I took a nine-hour class with a fast-talking woman who made a living reading tarot cards at psychic fairs and for private customers. At the end of the course, I still felt like a beginner, so I studied the scientific reasons why tarot cards work. Israeli researchers suggest that there is a similarity between tarot readings and the plots of popular folk tales. By laying out a few cards, you create a story as appealing as a fairy tale, with your client as the hero. People are amazed at your "insight" because most are so vain (愛(ài)虛榮的) they can't imagine how much they have in common with the rest of the population.

To further prepare myself, I offered readings to friends, including a scientist who makes a career of proving popular beliefs to be false. My friend laughed as I laid out his cards and gave my introduction. But soon his laughter faded, and later he told me he was astonished that my reading was so " accurate" .

I figured I was ready. I called the Psychic Readers Network, which immediately mailed me an application. Soon someone from their personnel department called, and I gave a reading. "Great," she said. "You can start immediately." First I had to learn a long list of instructions: Always pick up the phone by the second ring. Never answer specific questions before doing a "general reading". This would take up a lot of time and keep the client on the line past the first two minutes that Psychic Readers offered free.

The call could last as long as 55 minutes, which (after taking away the two free minutes) translated into a telephone bill of $211.47. I kept the conversation going by asking for a full name and address "so we can send you tickets for reduced price readings." At the end I was required to say, "For adults and entertainment only." All this was strengthened by the message I listened to each time I phoned in to work. "Come on, guys," it said. "Make sure you write down the full mailing address. We have six people testing every psychic every month. We will see if you're doing everything properly."

With this pace, I lived in low-grade terror — and I was only a part-time worker. Imagine people trying to make a living at this job. Most were women working 20 to 40 hours a week on the phone. For the $3.99 they earned each minute for the company, they kept only 25 cents in base pay — with no other benefits. Each week a computer totals the average length of your calls; if it is under 14 minutes, you're in trouble.

You learn to cultivate the callers who increase your average as they take you through long stories of crisis and loneliness. One woman lived eight miles from town, had a drinking problem and thought she was pregnant. She couldn't figure out what to do. I asked if she'd been to the doctor to see if she really was pregnant. No. She'd rather have the cards tell her. "Well," I said, "the cards show you'll be going to a store and buying a pregnancy (懷孕) test."

Then I got my first call from Teneecia — suicidal(有自殺傾向的) with a recently dead boyfriend. Hers was the most extreme crisis I'd ever confronted, and at first I was terribly afraid. Then, without thinking rationally, I leapt into action. "Teneecia," I said. "Your boyfriend knows how much you love him. But he wants you to stay where you are, alive, and be a mother to his baby. And I want you to call me any time. Here's my home phone. Forget the psychic network — it's way too expensive." "Really?" Teneecia responded. "Oh, thank you. You're my psychic friend." I hung up and wept.

Before long, I dialed Psychic Readers Network to discuss their business and people like Teneecia. But nobody got back to me. I sent a note informing them I was leaving. Since then, I've heard that the psychic-talk business is doing poorly and that phone psychics have been considering another form of telephone work: phone sex. Same money, slightly different dialog.

And the work, it's said, is much easier.

    生活在提心吊膽中
    電話響了，我趕緊抓起話筒。" 感謝撥打通靈熱線，" 我一邊說(shuō)，一邊開(kāi)始了我的表演。 "我是解讀塔羅特牌的，現(xiàn)在正在洗牌，您覺(jué)得可以了就叫我停下。" 與往常一樣，我做出洗牌的聲音，卻根本沒(méi)有費(fèi)心去洗，更別談讀牌了。
    第一次看到通靈大師電視商業(yè)廣告時(shí)，我對(duì)名人做廣告沒(méi)有多少興趣，倒是對(duì)普通人談?wù)撏`大師如何幫助他們改變生活興趣很大。 我至今記得，有一個(gè)辦公室主任說(shuō)，她的通靈大師告訴她，圣誕晚會(huì)上與她交談的第一位男士將會(huì)成為她的丈夫?，F(xiàn)在他們已經(jīng)結(jié)婚了，孩子也即將出世。 還有一個(gè)丟了貓的家庭主婦，恰恰就在預(yù)測(cè)的地點(diǎn)找到了它。 但是這些心滿意足的客戶--大部分是女性--看上去似乎不愿意支付每分鐘3.99美元的電話費(fèi)來(lái)和一個(gè)通靈大師在電話里聊天。 當(dāng)時(shí)，我還是個(gè)為生計(jì)苦苦掙扎的作家，所以決定去做一份通靈大師的工作，然后再寫(xiě)寫(xiě)這方面的故事。
    為了開(kāi)始我的工作，我到一個(gè)快嘴婦人那兒上了9小時(shí)的課程。她謀生的手段是在通靈大師集市上或私下里為顧客解讀塔羅特牌。 課程結(jié)束時(shí)，我仍覺(jué)得自己像個(gè)新手，于是我研究了一下塔羅特牌"靈驗(yàn)"的科學(xué)原因。 以色列的研究者認(rèn)為，塔羅特牌的讀法和通俗民間故事的情節(jié)之間存在相似之處。 擺出幾張牌，你就可以創(chuàng)造一個(gè)像神話傳說(shuō)一樣動(dòng)人的故事，而故事的主角就是你的顧客。 他們會(huì)驚訝于你的"洞察力"，因?yàn)槎鄶?shù)人太愛(ài)虛榮，以至想像不到自己實(shí)際和其他人一樣平庸。
    為了準(zhǔn)備充分些，我還主動(dòng)為朋友們解讀牌運(yùn)，包括為一位科學(xué)家，他的職業(yè)就是證實(shí)一些流行觀點(diǎn)的謬誤。 當(dāng)我攤開(kāi)牌，一一道來(lái)時(shí)，我這位朋友笑了。 但很快他的笑聲就漸漸止住了。后來(lái)，他告訴我說(shuō)，他非常驚訝我的解讀如此"精確"。
    我想我已經(jīng)準(zhǔn)備就緒了。
    我給通靈大師熱線打電話，他們馬上寄了一份申請(qǐng)表給我。 不久，他們的人事處有人打來(lái)電話，而我解讀了牌運(yùn)。" 很好，" 她說(shuō)，"你可以馬上開(kāi)始工作了。"
    首先我得記住一長(zhǎng)串指示：永遠(yuǎn)在第二聲鈴響時(shí)拿起話筒； 永遠(yuǎn)不要在"總體解讀"之前回答具體問(wèn)題。 這樣做可以多耗時(shí)間，使通話時(shí)間超過(guò)"通靈大師熱線"免費(fèi)提供的頭兩分鐘。
    一個(gè)電話可能長(zhǎng)達(dá)55分鐘，扣除免費(fèi)的前兩分鐘，換算后的話費(fèi)賬單可達(dá)211.47美元。 為了使談話不停地進(jìn)行，我詢問(wèn)對(duì)方的全名和詳細(xì)地址，"以便給您寄送優(yōu)惠解讀券。" 末了，我還得說(shuō)："只對(duì)成人，僅供娛樂(lè)。"
    這一切都在我每次和公司進(jìn)行通話時(shí)得到強(qiáng)化。 它說(shuō)，"好好干吧，各位。 一定要寫(xiě)下詳細(xì)通信地址。 我們每月有6個(gè)人檢測(cè)每位通靈大師的工作。 我們要看看你們是否樣樣都符合規(guī)范。"
    生活在這種節(jié)奏下，我提心吊膽，好在我只是兼職。 想想那些試圖以此為生的人吧。 其中多數(shù)為女性，每周要在電話線上工作20至40個(gè)小時(shí)。 她們每分鐘為公司賺3.99美元，而得到的基本工資只有25美分，沒(méi)有任何其他的福利。 每周，電腦會(huì)累計(jì)你所接聽(tīng)電話的平均長(zhǎng)度；如果不到14分鐘，你就有麻煩了。
    你得學(xué)會(huì)培養(yǎng)電話來(lái)訪人，因?yàn)檎撬麄兿蚰銉A訴他們的危機(jī)和孤獨(dú)時(shí)，那冗長(zhǎng)的故事才能增加你的平均通話長(zhǎng)度。 有一名婦女住在離城8英里的地方，她酗酒，而且認(rèn)為自己懷孕了。 她想不出該怎么辦。 我問(wèn)她有沒(méi)有看過(guò)醫(yī)生，確定一下是否真的懷了孕。 她說(shuō)沒(méi)有。 她寧愿讓紙牌來(lái)告訴她。" 那好吧，" 我說(shuō)，"牌上說(shuō)你要去藥店買(mǎi)一種驗(yàn)孕試劑。"
    不久，我接到了特尼莎打來(lái)的第一個(gè)電話--她男朋友最近死了，她想自殺。 她的問(wèn)題是我所遇到的最難的一個(gè)，而且一開(kāi)始我還非常害怕。 接著，未及冷靜思量，我就急急地行動(dòng)了。" 特尼莎，" 我說(shuō)，"你的男朋友知道你多么愛(ài)他，但他希望你好好地活在世上，做他孩子的母親。 我希望你隨時(shí)給我打電話。 這是我家里的電話。 把通靈大師熱線忘了吧，那太貴了。"
    "真的嗎？" 特尼莎說(shuō)，"哦，謝謝你。 你真是我的心靈之友。" 我掛上電話，忍不住哭了。
    不久，我給通靈大師熱線公司打電話，想跟他們談?wù)勊麄兊纳夂拖裉啬嵘@樣的人。 可是沒(méi)人答復(fù)我。 我遞上了一張字條，通知他們我要走人了。
    從那以后，我聽(tīng)說(shuō)通靈談話節(jié)目每況愈下，而電話通靈大師們一直在考慮另一種熱線服務(wù)：色情電話。 價(jià)格一樣，對(duì)話稍有不同，據(jù)說(shuō)做起來(lái)要容易得多。