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散文:只有一只眼睛的母親

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2018年04月13日

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The Mother With One Eye

只有一只眼睛的母親

母親
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My mother had only one eye. When I was growing up, I hated her for it. I hated the uninvited attention it got me at school. I hated how the other children stared at her and looked away in disgust. My mother worked two jobs to provide for the family, but I was just embarrassed by her and didn't want to be seen with her.

我媽媽只有一只眼睛。在我成長(zhǎng)的過程中,我非常討厭這樣的她。我討厭在學(xué)校受到的不請(qǐng)自來的關(guān)注的眼神。我討厭別的孩子盯著她然后厭惡地轉(zhuǎn)過頭去。為了支撐這個(gè)家,我媽媽要做兩份工作,但我卻只覺得她令我很尷尬,不想被看到和她在一起。

Every time my mother came to visit me at school, I wanted her to disappear. I felt a surge of hatredtowards the woman who made me the laughing stock of the school. In a moment of extreme anger, I even once told my mother I wanted her to die. I was completely unconcerned about her feelings.

每次媽媽來學(xué)??次?,我都希望她消失。我非常憎恨這個(gè)讓我在學(xué)校里成為笑柄的女人。在極度憤怒之下,我甚至曾經(jīng)對(duì)媽媽說希望她死了算了。我完全不關(guān)心她的感受。

As I grew up, I did whatever was in my power to distance myself from my mother. I studied hard and got a job overseas so I wouldn't have to meet her. I got married and started raising a family of my own. I got busy with my job and family and with providing a comfortable life for my beloved children. I didn't even think about my mother anymore.

隨著我慢慢長(zhǎng)大,我一直盡一切所能去遠(yuǎn)離我的母親。為了出國(guó)工作我努力學(xué)習(xí),這樣就可以再也不見到她。我結(jié)婚了建立了自己的家庭。我忙于工作,家庭,為我愛的孩子提供舒適的生活。我甚至不再去想我的媽媽了。

Out of the blue, my mother came to visit one day. Her one-eyed face scared my young children and they started crying. I was angry at my mother for showing up unannounced and I forbid her to ever return to my home and new family life. I yelled and screamed, but my mother quietly apologized and left without saying another word.

突然有一天,媽媽來看我。她的一只眼睛嚇哭了我年幼的孩子。對(duì)于我母親的突然造訪我非常生氣,我禁止她永遠(yuǎn)不要來我家,接觸我現(xiàn)在的家庭生活。我尖聲叫喊著,但是母親安靜地道了歉,沒有再多說一句話。

An invitation to a high school reunion took me back to my hometown after decades. I could not resist driving past my childhood home and stopping by the old shack. My neighbors told me my mother had passed away and left a letter for me.

幾十年后受高中聚會(huì)的邀請(qǐng)我回到了我的故鄉(xiāng)。我忍不住開車路過兒時(shí)的家,在一幢老屋門口停了下來。鄰居們告訴我,母親已經(jīng)去世了,留下了一封信給我。

"My dear child:

“我親愛的孩子:

I must begin by apologizing for visiting your home unannounced and frightening your beautiful children. I am also deeply sorry that I was such an embarrassment and source of humiliation to you when you were growing up.

在開頭我必須為突然出現(xiàn)在你家并嚇壞了你的可愛的孩子們而道歉。在你成長(zhǎng)過程中我是如此令你尷尬,讓你受辱,對(duì)此我也深深地自責(zé)。

I have learned that you may be coming back to town for your reunion. I may no longer be there when you come, and I think it is time to tell you an incident that happened when you were a young child. You see, my dear child, you were involved in an accident and lost one eye. I was devastated at the thought of my beloved child growing up with only one eye. I wanted you to see the beautiful world in all its glory, so I gave you my eye.

我得知你會(huì)在聚會(huì)的時(shí)候回來,但那時(shí)候我可能已經(jīng)不在了,我想是時(shí)候該告訴你,在你小小時(shí)候發(fā)生過一場(chǎng)意外。你知道的,我親愛的孩子,你在那場(chǎng)事故中失去了一只眼睛。我無法接受和想象自己親愛的孩子只能擁有一只眼睛。我想讓你驕傲地看看這個(gè)美麗的世界,所以我把我的眼睛給了你。

My dear child, I always have and always will love you from the bottom of my heart. I have never regretted my decision to give you my eye, and I am at peace that I was able to give you the ability to enjoy a complete life.

我親愛的孩子,我真心愛你,無論從前還是未來。我從沒后悔把眼睛給了你,讓你能夠享受完整的生命,我死而無憾。

Your loving mother."
愛你的媽媽。”
 

一個(gè)母親一生撒的八個(gè)謊言(圖)


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