With the development of city civilization, family violence seems already went out of our sight. While we are celebrating that kids are not getting hurt in family violence, there is damage way appears. This kind of way will not hurt child physically, but spiritual. We call that soft violence, which means hurting people with words.
隨著城市文明的發(fā)展，我們似乎已經(jīng)看不到家庭暴力的跡象了。然而就在我們慶祝孩子不會(huì)被家庭暴力傷害的時(shí)候，另一種傷害方式出現(xiàn)了。這種方式不會(huì)給孩子造成身體上的傷害，而是心靈上的。我們叫這種作軟暴力，就是用語(yǔ)言傷害人們。
I can see that most parents still not understand what does soft violence means, they usually think that beating kids is violence, but soft violence, they have no idea. For instance, most parents would say the word to kids like “You have to study hard, or you will not find a good job. And if you don’t have a good job, how could you suppose to wait on and support us when we are getting old?” does it sound familiar to you? The words like that will cause serious psychological burden to young little kids, and they would study every hard and ignore their health, while they are in the high stress to worry about they will not find a good job, and have no ability to support their old parents, that would become a black sheep.
我能看到大部分父母都不知道軟暴力是什么意思，他們通常認(rèn)為打孩子才是暴利，但是軟暴力，還真不知道是什么。例如，許多父母會(huì)對(duì)孩子說(shuō)這樣的話 “你要努力學(xué)習(xí)，不然你就會(huì)找不到好工作。如果你找不到好工作，那在我們老的時(shí)候就養(yǎng)不了我們了。”這對(duì)你來(lái)說(shuō)耳熟么?這種話會(huì)對(duì)小孩子造成嚴(yán)重的心理負(fù)擔(dān)，他們會(huì)無(wú)視健康而搏命學(xué)習(xí)，同時(shí)還要處在擔(dān)憂以后找不到好工作，沒(méi)辦法贍養(yǎng)父母的高壓下，這會(huì)讓他們變成不孝子女。
In addition, “you classmate is better than you in math or English, why would you do an excellent job just like them?” this kind of word will hurt kid’s esteem deeply. They might think that they are never good enough for their parents, and it will probably lead to depressive disorder.
還有，“你的同學(xué)在數(shù)學(xué)和英語(yǔ)都好過(guò)你，你怎么就不能像他們那樣出色呢?”這種話會(huì)深深地傷害孩子的自尊。他們會(huì)認(rèn)為他們對(duì)父母來(lái)說(shuō)永遠(yuǎn)都不夠好，這很可能會(huì)引發(fā)抑郁癥。
Therefore, when parents teach children, they should not only use physical violence but also not soft violence, because the damage of both violence is equal.
因此，當(dāng)父母在教育孩子的時(shí)候，他們不僅不能用物理暴力，也不能用軟暴力，因?yàn)檫@兩種方式造成的傷害是相等的。
