老爸老媽的浪漫史第四季04

[00:01.42]Barney is crazy if he thinks this is gonna work.
[00:01.42]Barney要是認(rèn)為這樣能行 他準(zhǔn)是瘋了
[00:04.14]I think it's gonna work.
[00:04.14]我認(rèn)為這能行
[00:05.24]I hope it doesn't work.
[00:05.24]我希望不行
[00:06.33]Here he comes.
[00:06.33]他來了
[00:11.82]- You there, what's your name? - Excuse me?
[00:11.82]- 這位 你叫什么名字? - 什么?
[00:14.10]Your name, woman, what's your name?
[00:14.10]你的名字 女士 你叫什么名字?
[00:16.53]Cindy.
[00:16.53]Cindy
[00:17.64]I knew it.
[00:17.64]我就知道
[00:18.92]You're the Cindy, the one who can change everything, or spell our inevitable doom.
[00:18.92]你是那位Cindy 能改變一切 或是給我們帶來不可避免的災(zāi)難的人
[00:25.22]Now listen to me, Cindy.
[00:25.22]聽我說 Cindy
[00:27.24]I am Barney Stinson, and I am on an urgent mission from the future.
[00:27.24]我是Barney Stinson 我來自未來 有緊急任務(wù)在身
[00:31.97]The future?
[00:31.97]未來?
[00:32.91]The future, and I can prove it to you.
[00:32.91]未來 我能證明
[00:35.10]In exactly four seconds, the woman at that booth is going to slap that man.
[00:35.10]4秒后 那桌的女士會(huì)給那男的一巴掌
[00:42.20]What the hell?
[00:42.20]你干啥?
[00:45.00]In a few minutes, the young me from your time is going to come through that door.
[00:45.00]在幾分鐘后 年輕的我 將會(huì)從那扇門進(jìn)來到你們的時(shí)空
[00:51.27]Now, Cindy, I know this sounds insane, but in order to save the planet,
[00:51.27]Cindy 我知道這聽起來很瘋狂 但為了拯救地球
[00:57.23]you need to sleep with him tonight.
[00:57.23]你今晚要和他上床
[01:00.50]What? I...
[01:00.50]什么? 我...
[01:01.11]Sleep with Barney Stinson tonight, in whatever way he wants it,
[01:01.11]今晚和Barney Stinson上床 以他希望的任何方式
[01:06.36]or he won't be able to find the solution to global warming that saves the human race.
[01:06.36]不然他就無法解決全球變暖問題 也就拯救不了人類
[01:11.92]What are you talking about?
[01:11.92]你說啥呢?
[01:12.96]I have no time to explain.
[01:12.96]我沒時(shí)間解釋了
[01:14.99]I have to get back to the reality accelerator before the vortex closes.
[01:14.99]我得在時(shí)空漩渦關(guān)閉之前回到時(shí)間機(jī)器里
[01:19.87]Only you can save us, Cindy.
[01:19.87]只有你能拯救我們 Cindy
[01:23.01]I must away!
[01:23.01]我走了!
[01:25.50]Okay, guys, the movers are coming in 14 hours.
[01:25.50]好吧 伙計(jì)們 還有14小時(shí)搬家工就來了
[01:28.67]We gotta get back upstairs and finish packing.
[01:28.67]我們得回樓上打包好
[01:30.70]You guys still aren't finished packing?
[01:30.70]你們還沒打包完呢?
[01:32.39]How is this taking so long?
[01:32.39]怎么能用這么長(zhǎng)時(shí)間?
[01:34.14]Hey, all the great memories of our 20s took place in that apartment.
[01:34.14]嘿 所有我們20多歲的美好回憶 都發(fā)生在那公寓里
[01:37.64]It's not like throwing stuff in a box.
[01:37.64]可不是把東西扔進(jìn)箱子那樣
[01:39.39]You start to reminisce.
[01:39.39]你會(huì)緬懷的
[01:40.72]Not me. The key?
[01:40.72]我不是 關(guān)鍵就是?
[01:42.02]Throw stuff out and never look back.
[01:42.02]扔出東西 永不回頭
[01:43.57]I'm moving to Japan. It took me a half hour to pack.
[01:43.57]我要去日本了 我才花半小時(shí)去收拾
[01:45.88]A half hour?
[01:45.88]半小時(shí)?
[01:46.82]Well, it would have taken me 20 minutes, but a friend called me in tears.
[01:46.82]要不是一個(gè)朋友哭哭啼啼的打電話給我 20分鐘就搞定了
[01:50.14]Moving is really emotional, okay?
[01:50.14]搬家真?zhèn)?br /> [01:52.63]It is. I mean, everything is changing.
[01:52.63]當(dāng)然 我是說 一切在變
[01:55.34]I'm gonna be living in New Jersey with Stella, you guys will be in your new place.
[01:55.34]我將要和Stella住在新澤西 你們會(huì)住在你們的新家
[01:58.38]You're starting a new job in Tokyo.
[01:58.38]你要在東京開始新的工作
[02:00.97]It's the end of an era.
[02:00.97]一個(gè)時(shí)代的結(jié)束
[02:03.08]I think we should have a toast, but not our usual crap.
[02:03.08]我想我們要干一杯 但不是平常那樣
[02:05.76]Hey, uh, Wendy, your most expensive bottle of scotch.
[02:05.76]嘿 Wendy 來瓶這里最貴的威士忌
[02:09.18]That's 50-year-old Glen McKenna, and it's $2,500.
[02:09.18]50年陳釀的Glen McKenna 2500美元
[02:13.19]Excellent.
[02:13.19]很好
[02:13.89]A bottle of that with beer chasers, and what do you think, cancel the scotch?
[02:13.89]一瓶那個(gè) 再來點(diǎn)啤酒小吃 你們說呢 不要威士忌了?
[02:17.30]Yeah.
[02:17.30]嗯...
[02:21.19]Vodka rocks.
[02:21.19]加冰的伏特加
[02:22.73]It's not gonna work.
[02:22.73]肯定沒戲
[02:23.78]Oh, my God, you're... Oh, my God!
[02:23.78]哦 天啊 你是...哦 天啊!
[02:28.04]Can I buy you a drink?
[02:28.04]能請(qǐng)你喝杯酒嗎?
[02:32.23]I suppose I have time for one drink and 45 minutes to an hour of some other activity,
[02:32.23]我想1小時(shí)里我能先喝點(diǎn)酒 剩下的45分鐘還能干點(diǎn)別的
[02:37.80]but after that, I have to get back to a top-secret research project I'm working on.
[02:37.80]但那之后 我要接著去進(jìn)行絕密的研究
[02:42.69]Global warming?
[02:42.69]全球變暖?
[02:44.41]My God, how did you know that?
[02:44.41]媽呀 你咋知道的?
[03:00.34]How I Met Your Mother Season04 Episode04
[03:00.34]老爸老媽浪漫史 第四季 第4集
[03:02.34]Hey, look at this.
[03:02.34]嘿 看這個(gè)
[03:03.62]A photo from the first day we moved into this place.
[03:03.62]我們第一天搬進(jìn)來時(shí)的照片
[03:08.18]So many great memories.
[03:08.18]這么多美好的回憶
[03:09.70]See? That is exactly the type of crap you should be trashing.
[03:09.70]看到?jīng)]? 那才是你要扔掉的垃圾
[03:13.86]So you don't keep any photos?
[03:13.86]你都不保留照片的嗎?
[03:15.98]No, they're like love letters or yearbooks or someone's ashes.
[03:15.98]不 那就像情書 年鑒或是骨灰
[03:19.43]They just take up space.
[03:19.43]留著占地方
[03:21.26]Besides, Stella's not gonna let you keep half of this junk.
[03:21.26]再說了 Stella絕不會(huì)讓你 留半點(diǎn)這些垃圾的
[03:23.81]Why wouldn't she?
[03:23.81]他為什么不讓?
[03:26.42]Oh, Ted, oh, sweetie.
[03:26.42]哦 Ted 哦 小可愛
[03:28.42]Okay, here's the thing that guys only learn after they move in with a woman.
[03:28.42]男人要知道 當(dāng)你和女人一起住的時(shí)候
[03:32.65]All of your stuff is stupid.
[03:32.65]你所有的東西都很白癡
[03:34.95]Like what?
[03:34.95]像是什么?
[03:35.75]Um, like anything you bought at a Renaissance Faire.
[03:35.75]像是你在文藝復(fù)興節(jié)集會(huì)上買的東西
[03:39.42]Hey, hey, there's not enough mead in the world to make me get rid of my flail.
[03:39.42]喝完世界上所有的蜂蜜酒 我都不會(huì)把我的流星錘扔掉
[03:44.36]Oh, hey, uh, Ted, since we're clearly not getting our security deposit back,
[03:44.36]既然我們拿不回押金了
[03:47.72]I thought maybe you could reimburse me for my half.
[03:47.72]我想你得把我的那一半錢賠我
[03:49.98]Wait a second-- why should I have to pay more than you?
[03:49.98]等會(huì) 為啥我要比你賠償?shù)亩?
[03:52.60]Because you treated this apartment the way John Bonham treated his central nervous system.
[03:52.60]你對(duì)待這公寓就像John Bonham （著名搖滾鼓手 酗酒致死） 對(duì)待他的中樞神經(jīng)系統(tǒng)一樣
[03:56.91]That's not true.
[03:56.91]扯淡
[03:58.40]Exhibit A.
[03:58.40]實(shí)例 A
[04:04.16]What's that?
[04:04.16]這是什么?
[04:04.88]A 1986 World Book encyclopaedia.
[04:04.88]1986年的世界百科全書
[04:08.18]It's exactly the one I grew up with.
[04:08.18]就是它伴著我長(zhǎng)大
[04:10.02]Encyclopaedia?
[04:10.02]Encyclopaedia?(百科全書)
[04:11.74]Oh, you think it should be pronounced encyclo-pee-dia.
[04:11.74]你認(rèn)為該讀作encyclo-pee-dia
[04:15.32]It's a common mistake.
[04:15.32]這是個(gè)常見的錯(cuò)誤
[04:16.66]But if you look at that squished together "ae" symbol in this here encyclopaedia,
[04:16.66]但你要是在百科全書里找ae連音
[04:20.77]you'll learn that it's a ligature derived from the Anglo-Saxon rune ash...
[04:20.77]你會(huì)知道這個(gè)連音是起源于 英國撒克遜人...
[04:31.49]You know, you're gonna have to paedia for that.
[04:31.49]知道么 你得"配"錢了
[04:35.33]But you never did.
[04:35.33]你從沒賠過錢
[04:36.86]And then there's Exhibit B.
[04:36.86]接著是實(shí)例 B
[04:43.23]Good morrow, fair gentles.
[04:43.23]早上好 大家
[04:45.08]Look what I won at the Renaissance Faire.
[04:45.08]看我在文藝復(fù)興節(jié)集會(huì)買到什么了
[04:52.17]And you're also responsible for any damage Robin did when she was your girlfriend.
[04:52.17]你同樣也要負(fù)責(zé)在Robin是你女朋友時(shí) 因她而起的損壞
[04:55.67]What damage did I cause?
[04:55.67]什么損壞是因我而起的?
[04:58.37]Do you remember that night when you drank the 12'er of Molson and you got all super Canadian?
[04:58.37]還記不記得那天晚上你喝了 不知道多少M(fèi)olson啤酒 一副加拿大英雄模樣?
[05:05.46]Stanley Cup, game six, eh?
[05:05.46]史丹利杯 第六場(chǎng)
[05:08.10]The Rangers are about to be sorry they ever played shinny with the Canucks.
[05:08.10]紐約游騎兵隊(duì)會(huì)后悔和法裔加拿大人打冰球的
[05:12.28]- Hey, hey, Robin. - Yeah?
[05:12.28]- 嘿 嘿 Robin - 恩?
[05:14.07]I'll give you 20 bucks if you can shoot it through this front door.
[05:14.07]你要是能把球打過這個(gè)門我給你20塊錢
[05:16.21]Oh, you're nuttier than a Tim Horton's maple log.
[05:16.21]你比Tim Horton的粉絲還狂熱
[05:20.68]Timmy Ho!
[05:20.68]Timmy Ho!
[05:23.62]That's it, Robin. Give me the stick.
[05:23.62]夠了 Robin 把球棍給我
[05:26.97]I'll give you summer teeth.
[05:26.97]小心我打的你滿地找牙
[05:28.59]Some are here, some are there.
[05:28.59]這一堆 那一堆
[05:31.51]Robin, give me the stick,
[05:31.51]Robin 給我球棍
[05:33.51]Take off, hoser.
[05:33.51]滾開 傻瓜
[05:36.16]That's it!
[05:36.16]夠了!
[05:37.69]- Get her, boys, get her! - Scrap? I'll scrap!
[05:37.69]- 拉住她 快拉住她! - 讓我扔掉? 我打死你還差不多!
[05:39.82]- Guys, come on! - For America.
[05:39.82]- 伙計(jì)們 得了吧! - 為了美國而戰(zhàn)
[05:43.47]All right, break it, break it up!
[05:43.47]好了 都靠邊 靠邊站!
[05:45.43]Ted, no!
[05:45.43]Ted 不!
[05:47.68]You never break up a girl fight! Never!
[05:47.68]你絕不該阻止姑娘打架! 絕不該!
[05:54.66]Entirely Barney's fault.
[05:54.66]那絕對(duì)是Barney的錯(cuò)
[05:56.43]As, by the way, is the big scorch mark over the fireplace.
[05:56.43]順便說一下 壁爐上面有一大塊燒焦痕跡
[06:02.06]Kids, to understand the story of the scorch mark,
[06:02.06]孩子們 為了能理解燒焦的故事
[06:04.89]I first need to tell you the story of the intervention for our friend Stewart.
[06:04.89]我要先給你們講Stewart的批斗會(huì)的故事
[06:08.46]What's going on?
[06:08.46]怎么了?
[06:09.67]Stewart, this is an intervention.
[06:09.67]Stewart 這是一次批斗會(huì)
[06:14.28]The alcohol changes you, Stewart.
[06:14.28]酒精改變了你 Stewart
[06:16.87]It makes you a different person.
[06:16.87]它讓你變成了另一個(gè)人
[06:19.16]And I'm in love with the man that I married.
[06:19.16]而我愛的是我當(dāng)初嫁給的那位
[06:23.05]Thank you.
[06:23.05]謝謝你
[06:25.01]This is just the push I need.
[06:25.01]這真的是我所需要的壓力
[06:28.49]I love you guys.
[06:28.49]我愛你們
[06:33.11]There's the birthday boy.
[06:33.11]壽星老在這兒呢
[06:34.96]Time to let the party monster out of its cage, Stewie!
[06:34.96]到奔放的時(shí)候了 Stewie!
[06:38.74]No!
[06:38.74]不!
[06:40.21]Come on, buddy.
[06:40.21]來吧 哥們
[06:41.71]People don't want to see Bruce Banner, dude.
[06:41.71]大家可不想見Bruce Banner 伙計(jì)
[06:44.11]They want to see the Hulk.
[06:44.11]他們想看到Hulk (綠巨人變身前是Bruce Banner 變身后是Hulk)
[06:45.70]Hulk, Hulk, Hulk... What?
[06:45.70]Hulk Hulk Hulk...怎么回事?
[06:55.65]That's what I get for skimming the E-vite.
[06:55.65]這是我提純維生素E用的東西
[06:59.61]TED: Later that day, we celebrated our first successful intervention.
[06:59.61]那天晚上 我們慶祝第一次成功的批斗會(huì)
[07:03.29]I am really proud of us for helping Stewart.
[07:03.29]我真為我們能幫助Stewart感到高興
[07:05.76]Yeah, what an amazing honest, human moment.
[07:05.76]對(duì)啊 多么誠實(shí) 展現(xiàn)人性的時(shí)刻
[07:09.17]I agree. Yay us.
[07:09.17]我贊同 耶!
[07:11.47]Marshall, are you really gonna keep wearing that hat?
[07:11.47]Marshall 你真的還要戴那頂帽子?
[07:14.56]Yeah, it's been two weeks, Marshall.
[07:14.56]對(duì)啊 都兩周了 Marshall
[07:16.55]Two awesome weeks...
[07:16.55]很棒的兩周...
[07:18.83]and heck, yeah, I'm gonna keep wearing it.
[07:18.83]絕對(duì)的 我要一直帶著
[07:30.55]Marshall, this is an intervention.
[07:30.55]Marshall 這是一次批斗會(huì)
[07:34.53]It's about the hat.
[07:34.53]關(guān)于那帽子的
[07:36.51]Huh? No...
[07:36.51]啊? 不...
[07:39.11]I have it under control, okay?
[07:39.11]一切盡在我掌握中 不是嗎?
[07:41.47]I can take it off whenever I want to.
[07:41.47]我收放自如的
[07:44.91]Dear Marshall, I do not like that stupid hat.
[07:44.91]親愛的Marshall 我不喜歡那頂白癡帽子
[07:49.76]I want to beat it with a bat.
[07:49.76]我想用球棍揍它
[07:52.60]Or maybe stab it with a fork.
[07:52.60]或是用叉子刺它
[07:55.08]It makes you look like such a dork.
[07:55.08]你帶著它像是怪叔叔
[07:58.47]TED: After that, interventions became a pretty regular thing around our apartment.
[07:58.47]在那之后 批斗會(huì)成了我們公寓定期活動(dòng)
[08:06.29]Cor blimey.
[08:06.29]真該死
[08:08.16]This is a nice bloody surprise. What's this about then?
[08:08.16]真他媽是個(gè)驚喜 這是關(guān)于什么的?
[08:11.40]Lily... it's about the weird fake English accent.
[08:11.40]Lily... 這是關(guān)于你那怪異的假英腔
[08:16.53]Oh, bollocks.
[08:16.53]放屁
[08:24.21]Spray tan?
[08:24.21]要說我噴的日曬色?
[08:28.76]They reel you in with a coupon, and then you just get hooked.
[08:28.76]他們用優(yōu)惠券勾引你 然后你就上鉤了
[08:31.32]Oh, we know, sweetie, we know.
[08:31.32]哦 我們知道 親愛的 我們知道
[08:33.81]No, no, no, no-- this is a new sweater.
[08:33.81]不 不 不 不 這可是新毛衣
[08:38.98]What?
[08:38.98]怎么了?
[08:40.66]The magic tricks.
[08:40.66]魔術(shù)把戲
[08:41.85]Specifically, those involving fire.
[08:41.85]特別是 有火的
[08:44.38]Magic tricks?
[08:44.38]魔術(shù)把戲?
[08:46.05]Guys, interventions are supposed to help people,
[08:46.05]伙計(jì)們 批斗會(huì)該是幫助他人
[08:49.10]not attack every little thing you don't like about them.
[08:49.10]不是去攻擊你們不喜歡的一些小事
[08:52.88]I'm sorry, but that really steams me.
[08:52.88]抱歉 真的讓我生氣
[08:55.69]That really burns me up!
[08:55.69]讓我火大!
[08:58.10]I mean, I am filled with a white-hot rage!
[08:58.10]我滿腔炙熱的怒火!
[09:08.65]Thank you.
[09:08.65]謝謝
[09:12.27]- Oh, shoot. - I smell hair! I smell hair!
[09:12.27]- 靠 - 燒頭發(fā)的味! 燒頭發(fā)的味!
[09:14.20]And that's the story of the scorch mark.
[09:14.20]到此燒焦痕跡的故事就講完了
[09:17.04]Wait, that's weird.
[09:17.04]等等 很奇怪
[09:18.30]When I was going through the closet, I thought I saw the intervention banner.
[09:18.30]我去壁櫥的時(shí)候 我看到了批斗會(huì)的橫幅
[09:22.57]S-So?
[09:22.57]那?
[09:23.85]So, the banner burned up. Why is there a new one?
[09:23.85]橫幅都燒毀了 為什么還有一個(gè)新的?
[09:27.30]And there are sealed letters here from all of you that say "Ted."
[09:27.30]里面有你們的信封 都寫著"TED"
[09:31.68]Were you guys planning an intervention for me?
[09:31.68]你們給我也準(zhǔn)備了一場(chǎng)批斗會(huì)?
[09:33.96]Oh, that-- that was stupid.
[09:33.96]哦 那個(gè) 那個(gè)很白癡
[09:36.09]Yeah, just, just forget about that.
[09:36.09]對(duì) 忘了吧
[09:37.64]Wh-What was it for? The Crocs?
[09:37.64]因?yàn)槭裁? 鱷魚?
[09:40.68]- The hair product? - Not Stella.
[09:40.68]- 洗發(fā)水? - 不是關(guān)于Stella 反正...
[09:44.26]Oh, my God, this was about Stella.
[09:44.26]哦 天啊 是關(guān)于Stella的
[09:46.59]I just said "Not Stella."
[09:46.59]我剛說玩 "不是關(guān)于Stella"
[09:49.48]So maybe it was about your poor listening skills, Ted.
[09:49.48]好像是關(guān)于你耳背的問題 Ted
[09:52.41]- What? - It's out of control. See?
[09:52.41]- 什么? - 已經(jīng)晚期了 看到?jīng)]?
[09:55.81]You guys don't think I should marry Stella.
[09:55.81]你們認(rèn)為我不該娶Stella
[10:02.75]You guys don't think I should marry Stella.
[10:02.75]你們認(rèn)為我不該娶Stella
[10:04.70]Ted, we do. We're all really happy for you.
[10:04.70]Ted 我們贊成你 我們真的為你高興
[10:07.51]Yeah. Like I said, it was stupid.
[10:07.51]對(duì) 就像我說的 很白癡
[10:09.51]Well, obviously, it wasn't,
[10:09.51]很顯然 不是那樣
[10:11.16]because we agreed not to have any more stupid interventions at our intervention intervention.
[10:11.16]因?yàn)槲议T已經(jīng)在批斗"批斗會(huì)"上達(dá)成共識(shí) 不再來愚蠢的批斗會(huì)了
[10:16.74]We're having too many interventions.
[10:16.74]批斗會(huì)開得太多了
[10:19.98]So, what was your big, serious oblem with me and Stella?
[10:19.98]那么 你們對(duì)我和Stella有什么意見?
[10:24.21]Yes! Yes! In everyone's face!
[10:24.21]耶! 耶! 都看見了吧!
[10:27.71]You all said the "future Barney" thing wouldn't work.
[10:27.71]你們都說"未來的Barney"那套不管用
[10:29.89]You told me I was crazy.
[10:29.89]你們說我瘋了
[10:31.71]My shrink told me I was crazy.
[10:31.71]我的心理醫(yī)生說我瘋了
[10:34.44]Well, who's the narcissist with severe attachment disorder now, Dr. Grossbard?
[10:34.44]那現(xiàn)在誰又是有嚴(yán)重依附紊亂癥的 自戀狂呢 Grossbard醫(yī)生?
[10:41.30]Intervention banner? What's that for?
[10:41.30]批斗會(huì)橫幅? 拿它干什么?
[10:43.03]Stella.
[10:43.03]Stella
[10:47.46]Ted, I cannot stand idly by...
[10:47.46]Ted 我不能這樣無動(dòng)于衷了...
[10:49.35]You've just been carrying that around?
[10:49.35]你一直把信帶在身上?
[10:51.22]Please, Ted?
[10:51.22]聽我說完好嗎 Ted?
[10:53.21]"I cannot stand idly by while you make the biggest mistake any man can make-- getting married."
[10:53.21]"我不能眼睜睜看著你 犯任何一個(gè)男人都會(huì)犯的錯(cuò)誤——結(jié)婚"
[10:59.45]"Mark my words,this whole thing is gonna go up in flames!"
[10:59.45]"記住我的話 這一切馬上就灰飛煙滅了!"
[11:06.35]Oh, damn! I put the flame cue too early.
[11:06.35]哦 該死! 火著的太早了
[11:09.57]I had so many more important things to say, and...
[11:09.57]我還有很多更重要的事要說...
[11:11.62]The point is, Ted, marriage is stupid.
[11:11.62]Ted 重點(diǎn)是 結(jié)婚是個(gè)很愚蠢的舉動(dòng)
[11:17.67]Every year, there are a million new hot 22-year-olds walking into bars,
[11:17.67]每年都有成千上萬的 20多歲的辣妹來酒吧
[11:23.56]and call me "glass half full," but I think they're getting dumber.
[11:23.56]并親熱地說 請(qǐng)我喝杯酒吧 可我總覺得他們?cè)絹碓經(jīng)]勁了
[11:27.74]Oh, come on, Barney, even you aren't still gonna be hitting on 22-year-olds when you're 80.
[11:27.74]得了吧 Barney 即使是你 到80歲 也未必能釣上20多歲的美女了
[11:33.30]I accept that challenge.
[11:33.30]我接受挑戰(zhàn)
[11:35.12]What challenge?
[11:35.12]啥挑戰(zhàn)?
[11:36.29]To prove to you that I will be exactly this awesome when I'm 80,
[11:36.29]證明我到80歲了還會(huì)像現(xiàn)在這樣性感
[11:41.44]I will hook up with a 22-year-old while in my old-man makeup.
[11:41.44]我要裝扮成老人 勾引到一個(gè)22歲的辣妹
[11:46.90]I didn't remotely challenge you to that.
[11:46.90]我一點(diǎn)也沒那個(gè)意思
[11:49.68]I mean, I definitely want to see it.
[11:49.68]其實(shí)我很想知道會(huì)發(fā)生啥
[11:51.18]But I didn't remotely challenge you to that.
[11:51.18]但我還是一點(diǎn)也沒那個(gè)意思
[11:54.34]I want to hear the other letters.
[11:54.34]我想看看你們的信
[11:56.05]Ted, this is ridiculous.
[11:56.05]Ted 太荒謬了
[11:57.54]W-We changed our minds.
[11:57.54]我...我們改變想法了
[11:59.03]And suppose you change them back?
[11:59.03]如果你又改回來了呢?
[12:01.14]Lily, come on, let's hear yours.
[12:01.14]Lily 你先讀吧
[12:07.47]Gilbert's reading skills have improved drastically since...
[12:07.47]自從...Gilbert的閱讀水平與日俱增
[12:11.10]Wait, this is a letter I meant to send home with one of my kindergarteners.
[12:11.10]等等 這封信本應(yīng)該寄到 幼兒園一個(gè)小朋友家的
[12:16.95]Gilbert, are things moving too fast between you and a girl named Stella?
[12:16.95]Gilbert 你和一個(gè)叫Stella的女孩 進(jìn)展是不是太快了?
[12:22.06]I wish.
[12:22.06]但愿吧
[12:27.03]Robin, could I hear yours?
[12:27.03]Robin 你的呢?
[12:34.74]"Dear Ted, it's 'encyclo-pee-dia,'not 'encyclo-pay-dia.'
[12:34.74]"親愛的Ted 不要把<百科全書> 說成<百科錢書>
[12:38.73]Why do you always say things" "in the most pretentious way possible?
[12:38.73]你為啥總是以一種 自命不凡的口氣的說話"
[12:41.93]It makes you sound douchey--" and that's 'douchey,' not 'douch-ay.'"
[12:41.93]聽上去很無知 是"無知" 不是"無機(jī)"
[12:46.67]Yeah, you already read that one at my pronunciation intervention.
[12:46.67]這是你在我的語音批斗會(huì)上讀的信
[12:50.20]Where's the letter about Stella?
[12:50.20]關(guān)于Stella的信呢?
[12:51.71]I didn't write one-- I-I'm your ex-girlfriend;
[12:51.71]我可沒寫 我 我是你的前女友呢
[12:53.89]I figured anything I said on the subject would sound catty.
[12:53.89]如果我在這問題上發(fā)表意見 都很沒有說服力
[12:57.09]Plus, I'm hotter than her, so who cares?
[12:57.09]還有 我比她辣多了 誰在乎啊?
[13:01.88]Marshall?
[13:01.88]Marshall?
[13:03.16]- Dude, it's water under the bridge... - Please.
[13:03.16]- 伙計(jì) 都已經(jīng)過去的事情了 就不能... - 快讀吧
[13:13.11]"Dear Ted, Stella seems like a wonderful person.
[13:13.11]"親愛的Ted Stella的確是個(gè)很好的人
[13:19.19]But you don't know her well enough to get married.
[13:19.19]但結(jié)婚是不是太快了點(diǎn)"
[13:22.56]"You certainlydon't know her well enough to commit to raising a seven-year-old with her."
[13:22.56]"你還沒有了解她到和她 一起撫養(yǎng)一個(gè)7歲孩子的地步"
[13:28.36]You're not ""doing her, her child" "or yourself any favors by rushing into this.
[13:28.36]這樣魯莽對(duì)你 對(duì)她 對(duì)她的孩子都沒有任何好處
[13:35.00]Just give it some more time."
[13:35.00]再等等吧
[13:38.58]Dude, that was months ago, all right?
[13:38.58]伙計(jì) 這都是幾個(gè)月前寫的好吧?
[13:40.97]That was before we got to know Stella and see how awesome she is and what a great couple you guys are.
[13:40.97]我們現(xiàn)在已經(jīng)了解她了 她很棒 而且你們很般配
[13:46.49]That's why we decided not to even have that intervention.
[13:46.49]所以我們決定不批斗你了
[13:49.52]Thank you.
[13:49.52]謝謝
[13:50.47]Because I-I really need you guys to be on board with this.
[13:50.47]我太需要你們支持我了
[13:52.66]And we are.
[13:52.66]我們支持你
[13:53.55]And we hope you're not mad at us.
[13:53.55]希望你別生氣
[13:55.31]Course not.
[13:55.31]當(dāng)然不會(huì)
[13:57.00]I mean, it's not like what you said was crazy.
[13:57.00]你們又沒說胡話
[13:59.94]Y-You had a lot of valid concerns.
[13:59.94]你...你們的顧慮都是有據(jù)可依
[14:01.81]Yeah, but concerns we have completely moved on from.
[14:01.81]是啊 但這些顧慮都消除了
[14:05.37]But you had a point.
[14:05.37]但你們說的對(duì)
[14:06.68]I mean, this whole thing has moved pretty fast.
[14:06.68]確實(shí)太快了點(diǎn)
[14:09.60]Well, you know what? Maybe that's because, uh, when it's right, yojust know.
[14:09.60]也許是因?yàn)?時(shí)機(jī)已經(jīng)成熟了
[14:13.52]Yeah, I guess, but-but we are still, you know, getting to know each other.
[14:13.52]是啊 但...但我們?nèi)匀?需要彼此了解對(duì)方
[14:18.22]And, Lily, maybe you're right.
[14:18.22]Lily 也許你說對(duì)了
[14:19.67]Maybe Stella won't like any of my stuff.
[14:19.67]也許Stella會(huì)討厭我的東西
[14:23.18]Like the robot cookie jar.
[14:23.18]比如這個(gè)機(jī)器人餅干罐
[14:26.24]This was, like, the first thing we bought for this place, remember?
[14:26.24]好像是我們?yōu)檫@里 買的第一個(gè)東西 還記得嗎?
[14:28.57]Of course I do.
[14:28.57]當(dāng)然記得
[14:30.55]Marshall, my sensors indicate that your pecan sandy levels are dangerously low.
[14:30.55]Marshall 我探測(cè)到 胡桃餅干已經(jīng)少的可憐了
[14:38.55]My collection of James Bond movies. Remember?
[14:38.55]007系列珍藏版 記得不?
[14:41.42]We watched them all in order, and then Lily spoke in that weird English accent for, like, the next month?
[14:41.42]我們一起按順序看了 然后接下來的一個(gè)月 Lily一嘴的英式怪腔調(diào)
[14:46.62]- It was sophisticated. - No.
[14:46.62]- 那很時(shí)髦 - 才怪
[14:50.24]My signed Bernie Kosar cleats.
[14:50.24]簽了名的Bernie Kosar防滑鞋
[14:53.22]My elephant lamp.
[14:53.22]大象燈
[14:55.07]The English phone booth.
[14:55.07]英式電話亭
[14:57.04]My sombrero!
[14:57.04]墨西哥闊邊帽!
[15:01.15]Ted, what are you doing?
[15:01.15]Ted 你在干啥?
[15:02.18]Unpacking.
[15:02.18]拆包
[15:03.76]I am never leaving this apartment!
[15:03.76]我決不離開這里!
[15:13.07]No, no, Ted, stop unpacking. You're just freaking out.
[15:13.07]別 別 Ted 別開箱 你只是嚇壞了
[15:16.53]I'm not ready for all the responsibility.
[15:16.53]我還沒準(zhǔn)備好 承擔(dān)那些責(zé)任
[15:18.11]And-And I'm certainly not ready to be a step-dad to a seven-year-old.
[15:18.11]而 而且我的確沒準(zhǔn)備好 做一個(gè)7歲孩子的繼父
[15:22.44]I mean, if I get married and move to the suburbs, in the blink of an eye,
[15:22.44]如果我結(jié)婚 然后搬去郊區(qū)
[15:25.79]I've become an old man!
[15:25.79]轉(zhuǎn)眼間 我就老了!
[15:29.78]Why, hello, young lady.
[15:29.78]好啊 漂亮小姐
[15:32.49]You want a butterscotch candy?
[15:32.49]想吃奶糖嗎?
[15:35.64]What do you mean, "nothing in common"?
[15:35.64]你說"沒共同語言"是啥意思?
[15:38.00]We're both seniors.
[15:38.00]我們都年紀(jì)不小了啊
[15:43.36]You're cute. How old are you?
[15:43.36]- 你太可愛了 多大了? - 83了
[15:49.47]Thirty-one.
[15:49.47]- 你呢? - 31
[15:53.81]Okay, Ted has officially snapped.
[15:53.81]他徹底崩潰了
[15:56.23]There are moving men coming in ten hours.
[15:56.23]10小時(shí)后搬家工就要來了
[15:58.56]His fianc\e is waiting for him in New Jersey.
[15:58.56]他未婚妻還在New Jersey等他
[16:00.93]We have to do something.
[16:00.93]我們必須行動(dòng)起來
[16:02.65]I got this.
[16:02.65]我來吧
[16:07.64]Hey, bud?
[16:07.64]嘿 兄弟?
[16:09.94]- Why don't you come here for a minute. - What?
[16:09.94]- 過來下 - 啥事?
[16:13.08]Look, I want you to know this is all totally normal.
[16:13.08]聽著 這一切都很正常
[16:16.67]Big transitions can be scary, and cold feet--
[16:16.67]重大轉(zhuǎn)變是挺嚇人的 害怕 退縮
[16:20.08]well, they're just part of the deal. So...
[16:20.08]很快就會(huì)過去了 所以...
[16:24.05]how about you give me the knife?
[16:24.05]把小刀給我吧?
[16:26.05]Give me the knife. Come on.
[16:26.05]快給我啊
[16:32.12]So I can start unpacking, too.
[16:32.12]這樣我也可以開箱卸行李了
[16:33.61]I'm staying here right by your side forever, buddy!
[16:33.61]我永遠(yuǎn)支持你 兄弟!
[16:35.52]- Yeah! - Marshall!
[16:35.52]- 耶! - Marshall!
[16:37.85]Lily, our lives have been good here.
[16:37.85]Lily 我們?cè)谶@過得很好
[16:40.81]That's why we've been putting off packing.
[16:40.81]所以我們才一直拖延時(shí)間沒打包
[16:42.62]Because subconsciously, we both know that it would be stupid to leave.
[16:42.62]因?yàn)闈撘庾R(shí)里 我們都知道離開這里很愚蠢
[16:46.23]It's safe and warm here.
[16:46.23]這里很溫暖 又有安全感
[16:47.82]There's a bar downstairs, and a cookie robot in the kitchen.
[16:47.82]樓下有個(gè)酒吧 廚房里還有個(gè)餅干機(jī)器人呢
[16:51.21]This is my home, and I'm never leaving!
[16:51.21]這是我的家 我也不走了!
[16:53.16]Listen to you!
[16:53.16]聽你都說了些啥!
[16:54.34]You sound like that fat, dweeby kid at camp.
[16:54.34]你就像露營(yíng)時(shí)軟弱的胖孩子
[16:57.00]"Mom, Dad, I want to come home. The cool kids are playing keep-away with my inhaler."
[16:57.00]"爸 媽 我想回家了 壞孩子搶我的呼吸機(jī)玩"
[17:01.57]I can't believe my dad read that letter at our wedding.
[17:01.57]真難以置信我老爸 竟然我婚禮上讀了那封信
[17:04.65]Marshall, you can't do this to Lily.
[17:04.65]Marshall 你不能對(duì)Lily這樣
[17:06.07]Yes, I know your new place has had some problems,
[17:06.07]我知道你的新家有些問題
[17:08.28]with the slanted floors and the nearby sewage treatment plant,
[17:08.28]地板是斜的 附近還有個(gè)污水處理廠
[17:11.20]but you're gonna turn it into a great home.
[17:11.20]但是你們會(huì)把那變成自己的家的
[17:14.26]Tell him, Lily.
[17:14.26]跟他說啊 Lily
[17:15.39]It's a black hole where dreams go to die.
[17:15.39]那是個(gè)使所有夢(mèng)想破滅的黑洞
[17:18.07]I'm not moving, either.
[17:18.07]我也不搬了
[17:19.38]- Oh, come on! - Yes!
[17:19.38]- 哦 得了吧! - 太棒了!
[17:20.87]Okay, you guys finish unpacking.
[17:20.87]你們快開箱
[17:22.90]I'm gonna go bake some cookies to fill R2-Sweet Tooth.
[17:22.90]我去做些餅干 填飽我們的小機(jī)器人
[17:26.74]Oh, my God, look at you cowards!
[17:26.74]天啊 看看你們這群膽小鬼!
[17:29.28]So afraid of any kind of change.
[17:29.28]這么怕改變
[17:31.56]So terrified of anything new.
[17:31.56]這么恐懼新事物
[17:33.51]So-so desperate to cling to anything comfortable and familiar.
[17:33.51]如...如此絕望地 要留在舒適熟悉的地方
[17:37.29]I can't move to Japan.
[17:37.29]我不去日本了
[17:39.42]Yes!
[17:39.42]太好了!
[17:40.74]What was I thinking? It's so far away.
[17:40.74]我都是咋想? 那也太遠(yuǎn)了吧
[17:43.43]And I don't speak the language.
[17:43.43]我也不會(huì)說日語
[17:45.22]I didn't even have any good pictures of you guys.
[17:45.22]我連一張你們好看的照片都沒有
[17:47.60]Oh, sweetie.
[17:47.60]哦 寶貝
[17:49.72]Everybody says change is so great, right?
[17:49.72]人人都說改變是好事 對(duì)吧?
[17:52.26]But what's so great about change?
[17:52.26]可到底好些啥啊?
[17:53.83]Hey, who wants to walk down to our same old bar,
[17:53.83]嘿 誰想去樓下那個(gè)老地方?
[17:56.59]sit in our regular booth and order the usual?
[17:56.59]坐在我們的老座位上 點(diǎn)些老菜?
[17:59.02]- Yeah! The usual! - My favorite!
[17:59.02]- 好啊! 老規(guī)矩! - 我的最愛!
[18:04.99]Oh, my God.
[18:04.99]哦 我的天啊!
[18:11.99]Well, well, well.
[18:11.99]呦 呦 呦
[18:14.37]I believe someone owes me $200.
[18:14.37]看來有人欠我200美元啊
[18:18.08]Barney, this was never a bet-- nobody...
[18:18.08]Barney 沒說打賭啊 沒人...
[18:20.51]This proves that I will be this awesome when I'm 80.
[18:20.51]證明我80歲時(shí) 還像現(xiàn)在一樣性感
[18:24.28]Arthritis five.
[18:24.28]看我關(guān)節(jié)炎了還這么酷
[18:29.46]- I'm moving to New Jersey. - What?
[18:29.46]- 我決定去New Jersey了 - 啥?
[18:31.82]And you and Marshall should move to your new place, and Robin should go to Japan.
[18:31.82]你和Marshall也應(yīng)該搬走 Robin還是應(yīng)該去日本
[18:35.39]Why?
[18:35.39]為啥啊?
[18:36.32]Because we're gonna get older whether we like it or not,
[18:36.32]因?yàn)椴还芪覀冊(cè)覆辉敢?我們還是會(huì)變老的
[18:39.09]so the only question is whether we want to get on with our lives
[18:39.09]問題是我們是去面對(duì)我們的生活
[18:42.94]or desperately cling to the past and end up like that.
[18:42.94]還是絕望地依附著過去 像他那樣了卻一生
[18:46.71]You mean awesome?
[18:46.71]你說很爽的過一生嗎?
[18:48.68]I'm 80, dude, and I'm making out with a 22-year-old.
[18:48.68]伙計(jì) 我現(xiàn)在80了 還能和一個(gè)辣妹親熱呢
[18:54.00]Take me to your place, cheri.
[18:54.00]帶我去你家吧 帥哥
[18:56.56]I want to see your World War II medals.
[18:56.56]我想看看你二戰(zhàn)時(shí)的勛章
[18:59.52]In a minute, mon petite.
[18:59.52]馬上就來 小美人
[19:02.12]All right, so that doesn't count.
[19:02.12]好吧 這不算數(shù)
[19:04.12]What? Why?
[19:04.12]啥? 為啥?
[19:05.11]She's French-- that's like playing tennis with the net down.
[19:05.11]她是個(gè)法國人 這就像放倒球網(wǎng)打網(wǎng)球一樣
[19:08.92]You know what?
[19:08.92]知道嗎?
[19:10.45]I'll cover the security deposit.
[19:10.45]我來付房子押金
[19:12.29]I'm glad to, because...
[19:12.29]我很樂意 因?yàn)?..
[19:13.94]every dent in that place represents a memory that I'll cherish forever.
[19:13.94]那個(gè)家里的每一個(gè)凹痕 都是我將永遠(yuǎn)珍藏的回憶
[19:17.73]But on one condition: we all put aside ten bucks every week for the next year,
[19:17.73]就一個(gè)條件 我們現(xiàn)在起每周都為明年存10塊錢
[19:22.63]and we come back here and we buy that 50-year-old scotch,
[19:22.63]然后我們來這 點(diǎn)那瓶50年的蘇格蘭威士忌
[19:25.93]and we toast the incredible life-changing year we've all had.
[19:25.93]為我們這個(gè)不可思議的 人生大逆轉(zhuǎn)之年干杯
[19:29.80]Get out of our booth.
[19:29.80]從我們的座位上滾開
[19:34.75]Me with my new family, Marshall and Lily in their new apartment,
[19:34.75]我和我新組的家庭 住進(jìn)新公寓里的Marshall和Lily
[19:37.96]and Robin as the number one English-speaking journalist in the Pacific Rim,
[19:37.96]還有太平洋沿岸 最棒的美裔記者Robin
[19:42.97]visiting us here in New York to celebrate this day--
[19:42.97]來紐約相聚慶祝這一天
[19:46.52]the day we closed an incredible chapter in our lives, only to open up a new one.
[19:46.52]我們告別過去 迎接明天的一天
[19:52.64]- Um, I think I left my cell... - Get out of here.
[19:52.64]- 呃 我把手機(jī)丟在... - 滾
[19:57.85]And one year later, that's exactly what we did.
[19:57.85]一年后 我們做到了
[20:00.92]And so let's raise a glass of $2,500 scotch to one hell of a year.
[20:00.92]舉起這2500塊的蘇格蘭威士忌 為這精彩的一年干杯吧
[20:09.81]- Amazing. - That's unbelievable.
[20:09.81]- 不可思議 - 難以置信啊
[20:12.04]It's kind of smoky, with a hint of aged cedar and...
[20:12.04]有點(diǎn)煙熏味 還有陳年雪松和...的味道
[20:15.83]Do you guys taste the difference and ten-dollar scotch?
[20:15.83]你們覺得和10塊錢的威士忌有區(qū)別嗎?
[20:18.02]- Not at all. - No difference.
[20:18.02]- 一點(diǎn)也沒 - 沒有
[20:18.90]I want to cut mine with Red Bull.
[20:18.90]我還是喝紅牛吧
[20:20.72]Oh, Wendy, can you take a picture?
[20:20.72]Wendy 能給我們拍張照嗎?
[20:23.95]A lot of things did change that year, but some things stayed the same.
[20:23.95]很多事情在那年都改變了 但有些事永遠(yuǎn)不變
[20:28.87]So, uh, what do you say we move this party upstairs to the apartment?
[20:28.87]我們?nèi)巧侠^續(xù)狂歡怎么樣?
[20:32.78]- Yeah. - Great idea.
[20:32.78]- 好 - 好主意
[20:42.79]What the...
[20:42.79]搞啥...
[20:45.67]Barney, this is an intervention.
[20:45.67]Barney 我們要批斗你了
[20:48.85]I'm sorry, I can't hear you.
[20:48.85]不好意思 聽不見
[20:51.73]Enough with the "old man" bit.
[20:51.73]別再扮"老鬼"了
[20:54.37]What about the old sand pit?
[20:54.37]什么 老沙坑?
[20:56.72]Let it go.
[20:56.72]算了吧
[20:58.25]Let It Snow?
[20:58.25]下雪吧?
[20:59.65]I love that old ditty!
[20:59.65]我愛死那段小曲了!
[21:03.49]I'm getting my flail.
[21:03.49]我拿流星錘去
[21:05.68]You're setting sail?
[21:05.68]你要啟航了?