托福寫(xiě)作開(kāi)頭段落注意事項(xiàng)

　　在托福寫(xiě)作教學(xué)過(guò)程中，經(jīng)常碰到學(xué)員在寫(xiě)作大作文的開(kāi)頭的時(shí)候廢話連篇，長(zhǎng)度爆長(zhǎng)，句子惡心，基本都屬于見(jiàn)光死開(kāi)頭，也就是說(shuō)文章開(kāi)頭如果這么寫(xiě)的話，基本就被劃到5分或以下的檔次了。比如：

　　托福寫(xiě)作開(kāi)頭之見(jiàn)光死：

　　With the development of society and economy， more and more children spend more and more time on computer playing more and more. Some people who are strongly against it think that it has negative effects on them both physically and mentally. In my opinion， I think that children should not play computer， they need choose other games.

　　名師講解托福寫(xiě)作開(kāi)頭：

　　這就是傳說(shuō)中的見(jiàn)光死開(kāi)頭!首段又臭又長(zhǎng)，不是說(shuō)不能寫(xiě)長(zhǎng)，而是空有長(zhǎng)度，沒(méi)有內(nèi)容，考官看完會(huì)直接傻掉。很多同學(xué)喜歡寫(xiě)with the development of society and economy 這樣的開(kāi)頭，其實(shí)寫(xiě)過(guò)作文的人就知道，這是典型的中式思維模式在作怪。英國(guó)人的思維方式和我們不同，他們重視細(xì)節(jié)，講究單刀直入，所以開(kāi)頭的廢話連篇會(huì)直接讓考官感到反感，惡心，進(jìn)而影響整篇文章的分?jǐn)?shù)。還有那個(gè)經(jīng)典的more and more，重復(fù)太多明顯缺乏詞匯量。

　　開(kāi)頭不能這么寫(xiě)。而是如下：

　　托福寫(xiě)作開(kāi)頭范例：

　　I tend to agree that young children can be negatively affected by too much time spent on the computer every day. This is partly because sitting in front of a screen for too long can be damaging to both the eyes and the physical posture of a young child， regardless of what they are using the computer for.

　　名師講解托福寫(xiě)作開(kāi)頭：

　　這個(gè)開(kāi)頭就非常符合英國(guó)人的口味，不但開(kāi)頭沒(méi)有任何廢話和空洞的內(nèi)容，相反，句子充滿務(wù)實(shí)，具體的風(fēng)格，而且，開(kāi)頭的最后一句話是對(duì)中間段落的一點(diǎn)提示，有過(guò)渡的作用