卡耐基演講·五、謙虛謹(jǐn)慎，保持低調(diào)

在一切講演者和聽眾之間的關(guān)系中，真誠是不可或缺的基本要素。諾曼·文生·皮爾曾經(jīng)給另一位牧師一些關(guān)于真誠的忠告。那個(gè)牧師簡直沒有辦法抓住他的聽眾的注意力進(jìn)行講道，所以諾曼·文生·皮爾要他問問自己，對(duì)每個(gè)星期天早晨都要面對(duì)的人們懷有什么樣的感情——喜不喜歡他們？愿不愿意幫助他們？是不是認(rèn)為自己比他們智力高出一等？皮爾博士說：“我登上講道壇時(shí)，沒有一次不是對(duì)即將面對(duì)的男男女女懷著強(qiáng)烈的感情?！比绻v演者自認(rèn)為在智力或社會(huì)地位上高人一等，聽眾一聽就清楚。所以，如果講演者想得到聽眾的愛戴，最好采取低姿態(tài)。Of course, nothing will take the place of sincerity in this speaker-audience relationship. Norman Vincent Peale once gave some very useful advice to a fellow minister who was having great difficulty keeping the audience intent upon his sermons. He asked this minister to question his feelings about the congregation he addressed each Sunday morning-did he like them, did he want to help them, did he consider them his intellectual inferiors? Dr. Peale said that he never ascended the pulpit without feeling a strong sense of affection for the men and women he was about to face. An audience is quick in taking the measure of a speaker who assumes that he is superior in mental accomplishment or in social standing. Indeed, one of the best ways for a speaker to endear himself to an audience is to play himself down.

艾德蒙·S.穆斯基在緬因州出任參議員時(shí)，曾在波士頓的美國辯論協(xié)會(huì)的講話中展示了這種技巧。Edmund S. Muskie, then U. S. Senator from Maine, demonstrated this when he spoke to the American Forensic Association in Boston.

“今天我被派來履行自己的職責(zé)，心里是有一些擔(dān)心的，”他說，“首先，我深知你們都是專家，我現(xiàn)在在這里講話不免有班門弄斧之感，在你們犀利的目光下只會(huì)暴露自己的愚蠢，不知這樣是不是明智之舉。第二，這是個(gè)早餐會(huì)，早晨是一個(gè)人警覺性最差的時(shí)候，如果失敗，對(duì)于一位政客來說，后果是不堪設(shè)想的。第三，我的題目是：辯論對(duì)我公仆生涯的影響。由于我在政壇上的活躍，對(duì)我的選民的影響是好是壞，很可能形成尖銳的意見分歧。I approach my assignment this morning with many doubts, he said. "in the first place, I am conscious of the professional qualifications of this audience, and question the wisdom of exposing my poor talents to your critical view. In the second place, this is a breakfast meeting-an almost impossible time of day for a man to be on guard effectively; and failure in this respect can be fatal to a politician. And thirdly, there is my subject-the influence which debating has had on my career as a public servant. As long as I am active politically, there is likely to be a sharp division of opinion among my constituents as to whether that influence has been good or bad.

“面對(duì)這些擔(dān)心，我感覺自己很像一只蚊子，無意間闖入了荒蕪之地，簡直不知從哪兒開始好。”Facing these doubts, I feel very much like the mosquito who found himself unexpectedly in a nudist colony. I don't know where to begin.

穆斯基議員就這樣開始，完成了一場精彩的演講。Senator Muskie went on, from there, to make a fine address.

亞德萊·E.史帝文生在密歇根州立大學(xué)畢業(yè)典禮的講演，也采取了低姿態(tài)。他說：Adlai E. Stevenson played himself down at the beginning of a commencement exercise address at Michigan State University. He said:

“在這樣的場合，我總是感到力不從心。我想起一次大家問撒姆爾·巴特勒該如何很好地利用生命時(shí)，他說：‘我連如何很好地利用下面的十五分鐘都不知道呢。’我現(xiàn)在對(duì)這20分鐘也有相同的感覺?！盡y feeling of inadequacy on these occasions brings to mind Samuel Butler's remark when he was once asked to talk about how to make the most out of life. I think his reply was: ' I don't even know how to make the most out of the next fifteen minutes.' And I feel that way about the next twenty minutes.

如果你想讓聽眾敵視你，一個(gè)不錯(cuò)的方法就是你跟他們說你高高在上。當(dāng)你講演時(shí)，就如同把自己放在櫥窗里展示自己，你人性中的每一面都一覽無余，只要你稍稍有一點(diǎn)自夸，你就注定會(huì)失敗了。但如果你表現(xiàn)得患得患失、很沒有信心，那也是很糟糕的事情。你可以謙虛，但不能顯得患得患失、很沒有信心的模樣。只要你是表示你決心要盡力講好，當(dāng)然略提一下自己才識(shí)有限，聽眾都是會(huì)喜歡你從而尊敬你的。The surest way to antagonize an audience is to indicate that you consider yourself to be above them. When you speak, you are in a showcase and every facet of your personality is on display. The slightest hint of braggadocio is fatal. On the other hand, modesty inspires confidence and good will. You can be modest without being apologetic. Your audience will like and respect you for suggesting your limitations as long as you show you are determined to do your best.

在美國電視業(yè)，競爭非常殘酷，每一季里獲得收視率最高的演員們，都要陷入更讓人焦頭爛額的競爭。在這里，年年能夠不至于丟掉性命的演員中，都有艾德·蘇利文。他是個(gè)新聞從業(yè)人員，在競爭激烈的電視圈里是個(gè)業(yè)余者。但他能夠在競爭中留下來，是因?yàn)樗⒉话炎约嚎吹煤芨?，他就認(rèn)定自己是業(yè)余的。他在鏡頭前有些不自然的舉動(dòng)，別人可能都會(huì)使之成為一種失誤，但他總讓這些舉動(dòng)看上去是那么自然感人。他手撐下巴，弓著兩肩，拉扯領(lǐng)帶，說話結(jié)巴，這些缺陷都無損于他，人們批評(píng)他，他也不去計(jì)較。每一季，他至少要請(qǐng)一位模仿高手在電視里惟妙惟肖地模仿自己，并且把缺點(diǎn)夸大。他和別人一樣，面對(duì)這些可笑的動(dòng)作時(shí)哈哈大笑。他歡迎批評(píng)，觀眾就喜歡他這一點(diǎn)。觀眾喜歡謙遜的言行，厭惡自大的賣弄者。The world of American television is a demanding one, and every season top-rated performers fall under the withering fire of competition. One of the survivors who comes back year after year is Ed Sullivan, who is not a television professional, but a newspaper man. He is an amateur in this fiercely competitive field and he survives because he doesn't presume to be anything but an amateur. Some of his mannerisms on camera would have been handicaps for anyone with less natural appeal. He cups his chin in his hand, hunches his shoulders, tugs at his necktie, stumbles over words. But these failings are not fatal for Ed Sullivan. He doesn't resent people for criticizing these faults. At least once a season he hires the services of a talented mimic who caricaturizes him to perfection, exaggerating all his faults. Ed Sullivan laughs as unaffectedly as everyone else when this performer holds the mirror up to nature. He welcomes criticism, and audiences love him for it. Audiences like humility. They resent the show-off, the egotist.

亨利和丹納·李·陶瑪斯，在他們的《現(xiàn)代宗教領(lǐng)袖傳》一書里評(píng)述孔子：“他從不去炫耀自己的知識(shí)。他只是用自己的同情心，去設(shè)法啟迪他們?！蔽覀?nèi)绻苡羞@樣包容的心胸，我們便已掌握了打開聽眾心扉的鑰匙。Henry and Dana Lee Thomas, in their book Living Biographies of Religious Leaders, said of Confucius: "He never tried to dazzle people with his exclusive knowledge. He merely tried to enlighten them with his inclusive sympathy." If we have this inclusive sympathy, we have the key that unlocks the door to the audiences' heart.