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名師課堂:說(shuō)說(shuō)英語(yǔ)寫(xiě)作中的“套話”

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想寫(xiě)這篇文章,是因?yàn)樵谠u(píng)改作文的時(shí)候,筆者總是看到一些考生在文章的開(kāi)頭使用“It goes without saying that …”或“There’s no denying the fact that …”等套話。還有一些考生使用更長(zhǎng)、更復(fù)雜的套話,比如,仿照《獨(dú)立宣言》的首句,寫(xiě)成:“We hold these truth to be self-evident that …”或者仿照簡(jiǎn)·奧斯丁在小說(shuō)《傲慢與偏見(jiàn)》中的寫(xiě)法,寫(xiě)成:“It is a truth universally acknowledged that …”筆者經(jīng)常想,這種只占字?jǐn)?shù)、不表達(dá)思想的句子在作文中出現(xiàn),考官會(huì)怎么看?他們會(huì)覺(jué)得考生的寫(xiě)作水平高嗎?考生當(dāng)然也很無(wú)奈:要完成一篇250~300個(gè)詞的英文文章,如果不寫(xiě)這些套話,要寫(xiě)夠字?jǐn)?shù),還不能寫(xiě)得太簡(jiǎn)單,那都寫(xiě)什么呀?
  
  看來(lái),問(wèn)題不在于該不該寫(xiě)這些套話,而在于如果不寫(xiě)套話,那么考生該用什么來(lái)取代它們,以使作文簡(jiǎn)練、流暢而不裝腔作勢(shì)。下面筆者列出幾種套話寫(xiě)作的處理方法,和大家共享。
  
  方法一:寧寫(xiě)一詞、不寫(xiě)一句
  
  這種方法主要用于替換引言套句。具體的辦法是將主題句前面的“It goes without saying that …”“There’s no denying the fact that…”等引言套句換成一個(gè)副詞,直接引出主題句。比如,考生寫(xiě)一篇關(guān)于“互聯(lián)網(wǎng)”的文章,一般都會(huì)習(xí)慣性地用引言套句引出主題句,寫(xiě)成:“It goes without saying that the Internet has offered people a way to communicate.”(句子1)還有些擔(dān)心字?jǐn)?shù)不夠的考生甚至把上述句子擴(kuò)充為:“I’m quite certain that a growing of number of people, youngsters in particular, would agree that the Internet has offered people a way to communicate.”坦率地講,在最初用英文寫(xiě)作時(shí),筆者也經(jīng)常用這樣的句子,而且每次用心中都會(huì)感到一種巨大的“成就感”。但你對(duì)英文寫(xiě)作熟悉了之后,就會(huì)慢慢發(fā)現(xiàn),上述句子中的“I’m quite certain that a growing number of people, youngsters in particular, would agree that”(句子2)除了占用了你策劃主題句的時(shí)間,實(shí)在沒(méi)有什么實(shí)用價(jià)值。
  
  相反,如果寫(xiě)作時(shí)不寫(xiě)這樣的套句,而直接用副詞引出主題句,則不光觀點(diǎn)鮮明、結(jié)構(gòu)簡(jiǎn)練,還能讓考官一眼看到主題。以上句為例,我們不如干脆寫(xiě)成:“Undeniably, the Internet has offered people a way to communicate.”(句子3)這豈不更為簡(jiǎn)練?所以,考生與其花時(shí)間去背誦和主題無(wú)關(guān)的引言,還不如把精力放在主題句本身的錘煉上,完善結(jié)構(gòu),增加修辭,把主題句寫(xiě)精致。比如上面的句子,我們可以進(jìn)一步改寫(xiě)成:“Undeniably, the Internet has revolutionized the ways people communicate.”(句子4)大家可以對(duì)比一下句子2和句子4,顯然句子4的結(jié)構(gòu)和修辭更有英語(yǔ)的韻味。
  
  類(lèi)似的替換寫(xiě)法很多,以下是一些常用的替換寫(xiě)法,大家可以參考:
  
  1. “It is an indisputable fact that …”換成“Undeniably, …”
  
  2. “We hold it truth to be self-evident that …”換成“Evidently, …”
  
  3. “There’s no denying the fact that …”換成“Undeniably, …”
  
  4. “It is a well-known fact that …”換成“Not surprisingly, …”
  
  5. “Even more worrying is the fact that …”換成“Even more disturbingly, …”
  
  6. “It is obviously that …”換成“Obviously, …”
  
  7. “It is vitally important tha”t換成“More importantly, …”
  
  方法二:巧用結(jié)構(gòu),替換空話
  
  諸如“with the development of our society”這樣的句子可能是中國(guó)考生最?lèi)?ài)寫(xiě)的一類(lèi)套話了??忌ǔ?huì)把這類(lèi)套話安排在主題句的前面,美其名曰“先交代時(shí)代背景,再引出主題句”。這類(lèi)套話還會(huì)衍生出無(wú)數(shù)“變種”,比較夸張的寫(xiě)法是:“Along with the dramatic economic growth and groundbreaking social and psychological displacement, there’s an urgent demand that our country have more newspapers and magazines.”看過(guò)上千篇“范文”的考官一眼就能看出“Along with the dramatic economic growth and groundbreaking social and psychological displacement, there’s an urgent demand that”是“湊字”的空話。
 

        那么該如何替換這一類(lèi)空話呢?其中一個(gè)辦法是使用“……很重要,我們要重視”這樣的句子形成主題句,然后對(duì)“……很重要,我們要重視”這個(gè)意思進(jìn)行結(jié)構(gòu)變換或修辭處理,使用詞和結(jié)構(gòu)更加多樣化。下面用語(yǔ)法結(jié)構(gòu)解析的方法來(lái)逐一分析“……很重要,我們要重視”的表達(dá)方式。
  
  1. 用“主?系?表”結(jié)構(gòu)表達(dá)。“主?系?表”結(jié)構(gòu)是英語(yǔ)寫(xiě)作中最為基礎(chǔ)的結(jié)構(gòu),它的基本結(jié)構(gòu)是“名詞+be (變形)+形容詞”。在用該結(jié)構(gòu)替換上文所述空洞無(wú)物的套話時(shí),可以使用“not only +形容詞, but also +形容詞”結(jié)構(gòu),比如寫(xiě)成:“… is not only necessary, but also indispensable”,然后后面再補(bǔ)充一句:“and that’s why we are supposed to emphasize its central position in our society.”這樣就能成功將“隨著社會(huì)的發(fā)展”這一空話替換下來(lái)。
  
  2. 用“主?謂?賓”結(jié)構(gòu)表達(dá)。上文中的句子還可以這樣表達(dá):“… plays a significant part in our society, so it is essential that its position be emphasized.”細(xì)心的考生可以發(fā)現(xiàn),雖然是表達(dá)同一個(gè)意思,但“主?系?表”結(jié)構(gòu)和“主?謂?賓”結(jié)構(gòu)采用了不同的句子形式,這兩種表達(dá)方式都直接、有效。
  
  3. 用否定句和被動(dòng)語(yǔ)態(tài)表達(dá)。否定句和被動(dòng)語(yǔ)態(tài)結(jié)合起來(lái)使用能使表達(dá)更加多樣,也更具客觀性,如:“The central position of … cannot be ignored. So we are expected to underscore its importance in our society.”
  
  4. 用until正話反說(shuō)或反話正說(shuō)??梢杂?ldquo;… has been overlooked until recently. But …”這一句型來(lái)為“……很重要,我們要重視”這個(gè)意思做鋪墊,從而使句意表達(dá)更加生動(dòng),比如:“The importance of … has been in large measure overlooked until recently. But nowadays, it is not only necessary, but also indispensable in our society. ”
  
  5. 將“重視”和“重要”的順序顛倒,先寫(xiě)“重視”,再寫(xiě)“重要”。比如:“We are supposed to emphasize its central position in our society, because it is not only necessary, but also indispensable.”
  
  方法三:用好“數(shù)據(jù)論證”,學(xué)會(huì)沒(méi)話找話
  
  “數(shù)據(jù)論證”這個(gè)方法像把雙刃劍,一方面它很管用,寫(xiě)得好的話,能形成流暢的論證過(guò)程;而另一方面,它有點(diǎn)像“謊話”,如果寫(xiě)不好,數(shù)據(jù)組織和延伸句之間不通順,一看就像編“故事”,反而影響成績(jī)。所以,建議經(jīng)驗(yàn)較豐富的寫(xiě)作“高手”使用該方法。考生在使用這一方法時(shí),可以巧妙地把數(shù)據(jù)論證和延伸句結(jié)合成一個(gè)整體。比如,《新概念英語(yǔ)》第三冊(cè)第九課中,L.G. Alexander就曾用數(shù)據(jù)論證的辦法證明“貓有九條命,是摔不死的”:
  
  … they have nine lives. Apparently, there’s a great deal of truth in this idea. A cat’s ability to survive falls is based on fact. Recently, the New York Animal Center made a study of 132 cats over a period of five months. All these experience have one thing in common: they have fallen off high buildings, yet only eight of them died from shock or injuries.
  
  劃線部分的句子將研究機(jī)構(gòu)名稱(chēng)、實(shí)驗(yàn)數(shù)字、實(shí)驗(yàn)期限三個(gè)要素串接在一起,插接在主題句“they have nine lives”和延伸句“they have fallen off high buildings, yet only eight of them died from shock or injuries”之間,形成了一個(gè)有效的鋪墊。這種寫(xiě)法雖然有點(diǎn)“耗字?jǐn)?shù)”,但是對(duì)于寫(xiě)作時(shí)無(wú)話可說(shuō)的考生來(lái)說(shuō),也不失為一個(gè)好的選擇。
  
  考生可以仿照上述文章的數(shù)據(jù)寫(xiě)作方法,采取“機(jī)構(gòu)名稱(chēng)+調(diào)查數(shù)字+調(diào)查期限”的寫(xiě)法寫(xiě)成句子,插接在主題句和延伸句之間。例如,考生可以將中間的鋪墊句寫(xiě)成以下形式:
  
  1. As can be seen in a recent survey by the China Daily, at least three out of every five interviewees believed that +延伸句
  
  2. Recently the Beijing Youth made a study of 1,132 citizens for a period of two months. Despite their genders, occupations, religious background, social status and income levels, there is one thing in common: +延伸句
  
  3. CCTV interviewed five people from five cities—they are from Harbin, Beijing, Tianjin, Shanghai and Shenzhen respectively. The survey showed that +延伸句, in spite of their birthplace, educational background and socio-economical status.


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