然而,我卻是個(gè)善于在很多領(lǐng)域假裝成專家的專家。所以就像這篇演講稍后隨便提到的其他事情一樣,我是或者我曾是在舞臺(tái)或銀幕上接吻的專家。我是怎么準(zhǔn)備接吻的?很多準(zhǔn)備工作是在新澤西州郊區(qū)的高中或者在學(xué)校后面的某個(gè)角落完成的。我工作的過(guò)程中有大量的親吻戲,飛吻,回吻等,當(dāng)然這些都是真實(shí)的吻。因?yàn)檠輪T的工作有時(shí)和妓女差不多,不得不和不喜歡甚至不認(rèn)識(shí)的人接吻。我們有時(shí)不得不親吻自己的朋友,不管你信不信,這樣很尷尬,對(duì)我們這代人來(lái)說(shuō),這確實(shí)是件很尷尬的事情。
My other areas of faux expertise, river rafting, miming the effects of radiation poisoning,knowing which shoes go with which bag, coffee plantationing, Turkish, Polish, German, French,Italian, that Iowa-Italian from The Bridges of Madison County, bit of the Bronx, Aramaic,Yiddish, Irish clog dancing, cooking, singing, riding hourses, knitting, playing the violin, andsimulating steamy sexual encounters. These are some of the areas in which I have pretendedquite proficiently to be successful, or the other way around. As have many women here, I'msure.
我還擅長(zhǎng)在其他領(lǐng)域假裝,如溪流泛舟、解決核輻射外泄、時(shí)裝搭配、咖啡種植、模仿土耳其口音、波蘭口音、德國(guó)口音、法國(guó)口音、意大利口音、《麥迪遜之橋》里面的愛(ài)荷華式意大利口音、一些布朗克斯語(yǔ)、阿拉姆語(yǔ)、意第緒語(yǔ)、愛(ài)爾蘭木屐舞、烹飪、唱歌、騎馬、編織、拉小提琴、模仿曖昧的性接觸等等。這是一些我假裝熟練并且取得成功的領(lǐng)域。我確信,在場(chǎng)的很多女性也和我一樣在某些領(lǐng)域很擅長(zhǎng)假裝。