Quora精選：是什么讓你自卑？

What causes low self-esteem？是什么讓你自卑？

 

獲得69.6k好評的回答@Rahul Balhara：

I wake up early in the morning.我早起。I meditate and go for a run.冥想之后去跑步。I come back and study whole day.回來后學(xué)習(xí)一整天。I feel confident and contended.我感覺很自信、很滿足。 I wake up late in the morning.我早上起得晚。I feel tired and sleep again.感覺很累，再睡個回籠覺。I woke up again and use Facebook.再次醒來看看Facebook。I get bored and watch a movie.無聊了再看個電影。I feel bad about myself.自我感覺很差。 Everybody has some targets in life. If you are not acting in a way which will help you achieve those targets, your self-esteem is bound to hurt.每個人都有一些生活目標(biāo)，如果你沒有找到能幫助你實現(xiàn)那些目標(biāo)的方法，你的自尊就會受挫。

 

獲得110.4k好評的回答@Yannick Duchscher：

Lack of actions.缺乏行動。Real actions.是真正的行動。? Watching TV isn’t an action?看電視不算行動? Eating isn’t an action?吃飯不算行動? Going to school isn’t an action?上學(xué)不算行動A real action is something that you want. It can be a side hustle, a hobby…Something that you want!真正的行動是你想做的事?？梢允歉睒I(yè)，也可以是愛好…是你真正想做的事！I enjoy writing, thus I write.我喜歡寫作，所以我寫作。 High self-esteem come with pride.高度的自尊和自豪并存。If you aren’t proud of yourself, how can’t you have a low self-esteem? The quickest hack to overcome your situation is to win more often. When you win, your body release dopamine and testosterone. Both are strong hormones that push you to do more.如果你不自豪，自尊心怎么可能不差？戰(zhàn)勝你的處境的最快方法就是獲得多次勝利。獲勝時你體內(nèi)會釋放多巴胺和睪丸素，都是推動你采取更多行動的強效激素。Once you start to win, you will always crave more winning. You’ll get obsessed about winning. This is how you get started. Win. Win a contest, win a challenge.你獲勝一次，就會渴求更多次勝利，你會沉迷于此無法自拔。這就是你的出發(fā)點：獲勝。贏得一場競賽，戰(zhàn)勝一次挑戰(zhàn)。Winning is key.贏是關(guān)鍵。

 

獲得75.9k好評的回答@Aaron N. Josserand-Austin：

No sense of personal sovereignty.沒有個人主權(quán)意識。We are expected from birth to listen to and obey the wishes of others. A stimuli that most of us grow up with and the effects of which culminate over time. Ultimately, we lose any sense of personal sovereignty and inner guidance; and thus, we believe that someone else always has the - more correct way - or knows better than we do.我們從一出生就被期待能聽話并遵從他人意愿。我們大多數(shù)人成長過程所伴隨的刺激及其產(chǎn)生的影響隨著時間的流逝達(dá)到頂峰，最終我們喪失了個人主權(quán)意識和內(nèi)心的指引，所以我們相信別人總會有更正確的方法，或者比我們更懂。We discount our own intuition and mistrust ourselves as a result of this learned response. Subsequently, this becomes a filter for how we view the world, and for how we view ourselves in the world.由于這種習(xí)得的反應(yīng)我們忽視自己的直覺，不相信自己。后來這就成為了我們看待世界和這個世界中的自己的濾鏡。We come to rely on the opinions of others for validation, because we expect that everyone else knows better than we do. And the more we get validation from others, the more we seek it. It becomes an addiction. When we are validated by someone else, it triggers our psycho-biological reward system releasing dopamine into the brain. We feel good. We feel accepted. We want more of that feeling.我們開始用別人的看法去證實，因為我們認(rèn)為別人都比自己更懂。我們從別人那兒求證越多，就越愿意去求證，最后成為習(xí)慣。我們從別人那里獲得認(rèn)可后就會誘發(fā)我們的心理——生理獎勵機制向大腦釋放多巴胺，使我們自我感覺良好，有認(rèn)同感，我們還想獲得更多的這種感覺。The rub is because we do not validate ourselves, we rarely get the validation we want from others. Or worse, we restructure our lives and the way we live in order to garner as much attention as possible. Our identity becomes lost in the quest for external validation.受挫是因為我們不向自己尋求認(rèn)可，而且很少能從他人那里獲得我們所需的認(rèn)可，更有甚者，我們會重建自己的生活和生活方式來盡可能獲得關(guān)注，我們在尋求外界認(rèn)可中迷失了自我。If we would just validate, trust and know ourselves this cycle could be broken.如果我們能認(rèn)可自己，信賴并了解自己，就能打破這個怪圈。

 

（翻譯：菲菲）

(來源:滬江)