生活英語聽力文章：對不起,道歉的藝術(shù)

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I’m Sorry! 對不起，道歉的藝術(shù)

Apologizing is not as simple as saying “I’m sorry.” Truly thoughtful apologies repair and rebuild relationships but thoughtless or insincere apologies may do more harm than good.

道歉不僅僅是簡單的說句“對不起”。實際上考慮周到的道歉能有利于修復(fù)和重建關(guān)系然而輕率或是不真誠的道歉可能會利大于弊。

Think of the last time you apologized for something you said or did. What words did you speak? Were they heartfelt and honest? Did your voice tone and body language send the same or a different message than your words? Were excuses and justifications mixed in with your apology?

回想一下你最后一次為某事而道歉的時候你說了或做了些什么。你說了些什么話?那些話是真心實意的嗎?你的語調(diào)和動作與你所說的話是傳達了相同還是相反的信息呢?在你的道歉中總是否參雜著各種理由和借口呢?

The way in which we apologize says a lot about our character. Do we accept full responsibly for the things we say and do or do we feel the need to explain the reason for our actions by pointing fingers? Do the words coming out of our mouths have real meaning or are we just apologizing because it’s expected of us?

道歉的方式與我們的性格有著很大的關(guān)系。我們是會為自己的所說所做承擔(dān)全部的責(zé)任呢還是會覺得有必要把理由點出來為自己的行為解釋?我們道歉是因為說出來的話里有著真實的意義呢還是覺得去道歉僅僅是因為對方的需要?

We all make mistakes. No one’s perfect. But how we rebound from those mistakes and apologize for our behavior will play a critical role in the impressions we make and the respect we have from our friends, family and co-workers. If done correctly your apology will make a lasting impression and distinguish you as someone who accepts responsibility for your actions.

人人都犯過錯，沒有人是完美的。但是我們回應(yīng)錯誤和為自己行為道歉的方式將會在我們能否在親友、同事中獲得尊重和取得良好印象中起著至關(guān)重要的作用。如果處理的恰當(dāng)，你的道歉將會為你贏得一個持久的好印象并且會使你作為一個能為自己行為負責(zé)的人脫穎而出。

My wife and I have four children. So you can imagine there have been numerous times when we’ve had to remind them about how to give a proper apology. Today’s tips are based upon the lessons we have taught our children over the years and I give my wife full credit for helping all of us learn how to make things right.

我和我的愛人有四個孩子，因此你能想得到有很多時候我們必須去提醒他們怎樣去給出一個正當(dāng)?shù)牡狼浮，F(xiàn)如今的秘訣都是基于這些年我們教導(dǎo)孩子時所得到的教訓(xùn)上的，并且在對幫助大家學(xué)習(xí)怎樣去使事情變得更順利的方面，我覺得應(yīng)當(dāng)全部歸功于我的妻子。

Don’t Justify Your Actions Or Make Excuses

別為你的行為辯護或找借口

Don’t make the common mistake of giving an explanation or a justification when you apologize. It will cheapen and discount your apology.

千萬別犯這種常見的錯誤，當(dāng)你在道歉的時候還想著去找借口、找理由。這只會使你的道歉變得廉價。

The best way to apologize is to accept responsibility for your actions and start with the obvious words, “I’m sorry.” This won’t be easy, especially if your regrettable actions were in response to someone else’s actions. It takes a strong person to accept responsibility for their actions and not justify them. You are in control of your actions and blaming others is just a lame excuse.

道歉的最好方式就是去為你之前的行為承擔(dān)責(zé)任并且以“對不起”這種明顯的措辭開始。然而這并不容易，尤其是如果你的這個抱歉舉動是用來回應(yīng)別人的一些行為的話。強大的人是會為自己的行動負責(zé)而不是為它們找理由。你才是自己行為的主導(dǎo)者，出錯時責(zé)備別人只會是一個毫無說服力的借口而已。

Mean What You Say

實話實說

Be genuine and honest. If you try to fake your way through an apology, people will see right through it and it will only make the situation worse. If you have done something you shouldn’t have done or said something you shouldn’t have said, you have just made a negative impression.

保持真誠和誠實。如果你嘗試假道歉,人們將看到穿過它,它只會使情況變得更糟。如果你做了你不該做或說一些你不該說,你剛剛作出了一個給人消極的印象。

An insincere apology is like pounding that negative impression in their head with a hammer. It’s a sure way to lose someone’s respect.

不真誠的道歉,就像洶涌的負面印象的錘頭，肯定要失去別人的尊重。

Focus on making sure your tone and body language send the same messages as the words you speak. It’s also helpful to include some specifics in your apology beyond the words “I’m sorry”. Acknowledging what you did wrong conveys that you really understand the impact of your words or actions.

專注于確保你的語氣和肢體語言跟你說的話發(fā)送相同的信息。也有助于包括一些在你的道歉中的細節(jié)而不僅僅是聲“對不起”。承認自己做錯了什么讓你真正了解你的言語和行為的影響。

You may need a little time to pass to collect your thoughts before delivering a genuine apology but don’t let the clock run out. When you know you need to apologize for something, the sooner you can do it effectively, the better.

你可能需要一點時間通過收集你的想法之前提供一個真正的道歉但是不要讓時鐘耗盡。當(dāng)你知道你需要道歉的事情,你能做到有效,越早越好。

Ask For Forgiveness

求得原諒

After you have apologized, then seek forgiveness. Offer to make amends if appropriate. And then hopefully the other person will agree to forgive you and you both can move on. It takes a strong person to apologize as I have described but doing so will be bring closure to your mistake and potentially restore a damaged relationship.

You can imagine what comes next. Who needs an apology from you? Do you have any damaged relationships? TODAY’s challenge is to make a call or set up an appointment with someone who you have wronged, offended or misguided. Think about the words you will use and the way you will deliver those words. Will you accept the challenge?

你可以想象接下來會發(fā)生什么。誰需要道歉嗎?你有任何損壞的關(guān)系嗎?今天的挑戰(zhàn)是打電話或與你有委屈,冒犯或誤導(dǎo)的人約會。思考你將使用的話語和你將這些話的方式。你愿意接受挑戰(zhàn)嗎?