Those 4 words never sounded so good
我從未覺(jué)得這幾個(gè)字如此動(dòng)聽(tīng)
til the June morning
直到一個(gè)六月的早晨
in my mom's hospital room.
在母親的病房里
It began when my mother was admitted to the hospital
事情的開(kāi)始是這樣的,我母親要住院
for a really bad infection in her bladder.
因?yàn)榘螂子袊?yán)重的感染
It was November 21
那是11月21日
when they called us to her hospital room
醫(yī)院把我們一家人叫到母親的病房里
to tell us my mom had a mass tumor
告訴我們,母親長(zhǎng)了一個(gè)腫塊腫瘤
it was big in her stomach
在她的胃里,面積很大
and it was malignant.
是個(gè)惡性腫瘤
They went over a couple of options
他們列出了幾種治療方案
but all I heard was MDAnderson & biopsy.
我卻只聽(tīng)到了癌癥中心和活體檢查
That same night at about 2 a.m.
當(dāng)天夜里,凌晨?jī)牲c(diǎn)鐘的時(shí)候
my mom got dressed
我母親穿戴整齊
called my stepdad
叫上我的繼父
and walked out of that hospital,
兩人走出了醫(yī)院
she wanted to go home.
她想要回家
The next morning
第二天早上
we went to talk to the surgeon
我們?nèi)フ裔t(yī)生談話
to find out what does this mean,
去詢問(wèn)母親昨晚的舉動(dòng)有何用意
how long does she have by refusing treatment
她這樣拒絕治療,還剩下多少日子
& he said 15 days
他說(shuō),大概半個(gè)月
maybe less.
也可能更少
I was so scared
我害怕極了
I couldn't accept losing my mom
我不能承受失去母親的痛苦
my only parent
雙親里我只剩下她了
since dad died when I was 5 yrs old.
因?yàn)槲?歲的時(shí)候父親就過(guò)世了
My stepdad was an ok kinda person
我的繼父是一個(gè)不冷不熱的人
just not involved with our lives growing.
在我們成長(zhǎng)過(guò)程中,都沒(méi)有管過(guò)我們
So 15 days,
所以,還有半個(gè)月
I had
這就是我所有的全部
to pray, to beg, to cry,
我只有這些時(shí)間去祈禱,去乞求,去痛哭流涕
to spend time with my mom.
去與母親共度
I didn't judge her decision
我沒(méi)有職責(zé)她放棄治療的決定
she's my mom
她是我的母親
she has earned the right to decide what she wants.
她有權(quán)決定自己想要的是什么
My siblings didn't see it that way
我的兄弟姐妹們并不這樣想
but really what can you do.
可是你能怎么做呢
I asked everyone I came in contact with
我對(duì)自己能聯(lián)系上的每一個(gè)人都發(fā)出了請(qǐng)求
if they could say wish good luck for my mom,
我問(wèn)他們能否祝我母親好運(yùn)
I mean everyone.
我說(shuō)的是所有人
The day came and went
日子一天天過(guò)去
and she did sleep a lot
她確實(shí)睡得很多
but my stepdad says she seems ok,
但是繼父說(shuō),她看起來(lái)情況還不錯(cuò)
when I'd go visit her
當(dāng)我去看望她的時(shí)候
I would just sit and stare at her
我坐在那里,緊緊的盯著她
I imagine she probably felt like a specimen under a microscope
我想,她大概覺(jué)得自己就像是顯微鏡下面的一個(gè)標(biāo)本
because she'd just cough
因?yàn)?,她只不過(guò)喝水嗆了一下
and all heads turned to her glasses of water
所有人都看向她手中的水杯
in every direction
從各個(gè)方向看著她
my poor mom.
我可憐的媽媽
Then 7 months later
7個(gè)月過(guò)后
she ends up back in hospital
她又住進(jìn)了醫(yī)院
because her bladder is hurting real bad.
因?yàn)樗陌螂滋鄣暮軈柡?/p>
I remember sitting there
我記得自己坐在那里
just me and my granddaughter
只有我和我的小孫女
because she really wanted to visit her G.G.Ma
因?yàn)樗芟肟赐幌滤脑婺?/p>
and I watched her do her crossword puzzle
我看著她玩字謎
trying to sneak in a picture here and there.
設(shè)法在這里那里拼出一個(gè)圖案來(lái)
The oncologist walks in the room
醫(yī)生走進(jìn)病房
asks my mom how she feeling
問(wèn)我母親感覺(jué)如何
she says I feel fine
她說(shuō),我感覺(jué)挺好的
can I go home now?
今天我能回家了嗎
The Dr then says
醫(yī)生說(shuō)
i'm sorry
實(shí)在抱歉
but I cannot be your doctor
可是,我沒(méi)法給你看病
so I cannot make that decision.
所以,我也不能決定你何時(shí)出院
She looks confused
母親一臉的疑惑
I'm stunned
我也感到十分驚訝
so I asked what did my mom do now?
于是問(wèn)道,我媽媽又做了什么
He smiled
醫(yī)生笑了笑
and looked my mom straight in her eyes
直直的看著母親的眼睛
he says I'm a cancer doctor
他說(shuō),我是一個(gè)腫瘤醫(yī)生
since all your tests came back clear
你的結(jié)果都非常好
I cannot be in charge of your care.
我不能再掌管你的健康問(wèn)題了
I'm looking at him
我定定的看著醫(yī)生
wide eyed big goofy smile
雙目圓瞪,一臉傻笑
and as I turned to see my mom's reaction
我轉(zhuǎn)過(guò)頭去看母親的反應(yīng)
she picks up her crossword puzzle
母親拿起我女兒的字謎游戲
says as casual as can be
用最隨意的語(yǔ)氣說(shuō)
"See I told you I wasn't sick!"
“看吧,都跟你說(shuō)了,我沒(méi)??!”
I could only manage to say
我一時(shí)百感交集,只能說(shuō)出話一句
"yup you sure did mom."
“嗯吶,你確實(shí)說(shuō)過(guò),媽媽”
That was 2 and a half years ago
這是兩年半之前的事情
and she's still mouthier as ever
她還和往常一樣巧言善辯
but I went and thanked everyone
我向所有的人都道謝了
because I truly witnessed a miracle first hand.
因?yàn)槲艺娴挠H眼見(jiàn)證了一個(gè)奇跡