(雙語)月亮和六便士 第29章(4)

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I wanted to kill him, and I only made a fool of myself.

“我要殺死他，結(jié)果卻徒然使自己出丑。”

He was silent for a long time, and then he said what I knew was in his mind.

他沉默了半晌，最后他說出的我知道是郁積在他心里的話。

If I'd only waited, perhaps it would have gone all right. I shouldn't have been so impatient. Oh, poor child, what have I driven her to?

“要是我多等些日子，也許就不會發(fā)生什么事了。我真不應(yīng)該這么耐不住性子。啊，可憐的孩子，是我把她逼到這一地步啊！”

I shrugged my shoulders, but did not speak. I had no sympathy for Blanche Stroeve, but knew that it would only pain poor Dirk if I told him exactly what I thought of her.

我聳了聳肩膀，但是沒有說什么。我對勃朗什·施特略夫一點也不同情，但是我知道，如果我把實話告訴可憐的戴爾克，只會增加他的痛苦。

He had reached that stage of exhaustion when he could not stop talking. He went over again every word of the scene. Now something occurred to him that he had not told me before; now he discussed what he ought to have said instead of what he did say; then he lamented his blindness. He regretted that he had done this, and blamed himself that he had omitted the other. It grew later and later, and at last I was as tired as he.

這時候他已經(jīng)疲憊不堪，無力控制自己，所以只顧滔滔不絕地說下去。他把那場風(fēng)波中每人講的話又重復(fù)了一遍。他一會兒想起一件忘記了告訴我的事，一會兒又同我討論起他當(dāng)時該說這句話，而不該說那句話。他為自己看不清問題感到萬分痛心，懊悔自己做了某件事，責(zé)怪自己沒有做哪一件。夜?jié)u漸深了，最后我也同他一樣疲勞不堪了。

What are you going to do now? I said finally.

“你現(xiàn)在準(zhǔn)備做什么？”我最后問他說。

What can I do? I shall wait till she sends for me.

“我能夠做什么？我只能等著她招呼我回去?！?/p>

Why don't you go away for a bit?

“為什么你不到外地去走走呢？”

No, no; I must be at hand when she wants me.

“不，不成。如果她需要，我一定要叫她能夠找到我。”

For the present he seemed quite lost. He had made no plans. When I suggested that he should go to bed he said he could not sleep; he wanted to go out and walk about the streets till day. He was evidently in no state to be left alone. I persuaded him to stay the night with me, and I put him into my own bed. I had a divan in my sitting-room, and could very well sleep on that. He was by now so worn out that he could not resist my firmness. I gave him a sufficient dose of veronal to insure his unconsciousness for several hours. I thought that was the best service I could render him.

他對于眼前該怎么辦似乎一點主意也沒有。他沒有什么計劃。最后我建議他該去睡會兒覺，他說他睡不著，他要到外面去走個通宵。當(dāng)然，在這種情況下我決不能丟下他不管。我勸他在我這里過夜，我把他安置在我的床上。在起居間里我還有一只長沙發(fā)，我可以睡在那上面。他這時已經(jīng)精疲力竭，所以還是依著我的主意上了床。我給他服了一些佛羅那，叫他可以人事不省地好好睡幾個鐘頭覺。我想這是我能夠給他的最大的幫助了。