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雙語(yǔ)·返老還童:菲茨杰拉德短篇小說(shuō)選 返老還童 八

所屬教程:譯林版·返老還童:菲茨杰拉德短篇小說(shuō)選

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2022年06月09日

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THE CURIOUS CASE OF BENJAMIN BUTTON VIII

Hildegarde, waving a large silk flag, greeted him on the porch, and even as he kissed her he felt with a sinking of the heart that these three years had taken their toll. She was a woman of forty now, with a faint skirmish line of gray hairs in her head. The sight depressed him.

Up in his room he saw his reflection in the familiar mirror—he went closer and examined his own face with anxiety, comparing it after a moment with a photograph of himself in uniform taken just before the war.

“Good Lord!” he said aloud. The process was continuing. There was no doubt of it—he looked now like a man of thirty. Instead of being delighted, he was uneasy—he was growing younger. He had hitherto hoped that once he reached a bodily age equivalent to his age in years, the grotesque phenomenon which had marked his birth would cease to function. He shuddered. His destiny seemed to him awful, incredible.

When he came down-stairs Hildegarde was waiting for him. She appeared annoyed, and he wondered if she had at last discovered that there was something amiss. It was with an effort to relieve the tension between them that he broached the matter at dinner in what he considered a delicate way.

“Well,” he remarked lightly, “everybody says I look younger than ever.”

Hildegarde regarded him with scorn. She sniffed. “Do you think it's anything to boast about?”

“I'm not boasting,” he asserted uncomfortably. She sniffed again. “The idea,” she said, and after a moment: “I should think you'd have enough pride to stop it.”

“How can I?” he demanded.

“I'm not going to argue with you,” she retorted. “But there's a right way of doing things and a wrong way. If you've made up your mind to be different from everybody else, I don't suppose I can stop you, but I really don't think it's very considerate.”

“But, Hildegarde, I can't help it.”

“You can too. You're simply stubborn. You think you don't want to be like any one else. You always have been that way, and you always will be. But just think how it would be if every one else looked at things as you do—what would the world be like?”

As this was an inane and unanswerable argument Benjamin made no reply, and from that time on a chasm began to widen between them. He wondered what possible fascination she had ever exercised over him.

To add to the breach, he found, as the new century gathered headway, that his thirst for gaiety grew stronger. Never a party of any kind in the city of Baltimore but he was there, dancing with the prettiest of the young married women, chatting with the most popular of the débutantes, and finding their company charming, while his wife, a dowager of evil omen, sat among the chaperons, now in haughty disapproval, and now following him with solemn, puzzled, and reproachful eyes.

“Look!” people would remark. “What a pity! A young fellow that age tied to a woman of forty-five. He must be twenty years younger than his wife.” They had forgotten—as people inevitably forget—that back in 1880 their mammas and papas had also remarked about this same ill-matched pair.

Benjamin's growing unhappiness at home was compensated for by his many new interests. He took up golf and made a great success of it. He went in for dancing: in 1906 he was an expert at“The Boston,” and in 1908 he was considered proficient at the“Maxixe,” while in 1909 his“Castle Walk”was the envy of every young man in town.

His social activities, of course, interfered to some extent with his business, but then he had worked hard at wholesale hardware for twenty-five years and felt that he could soon hand it on to his son, Roscoe, who had recently graduated from Harvard.

He and his son were, in fact, often mistaken for each other. This pleased Benjamin—he soon forgot the insidious fear which had come over him on his return from the Spanish-American War, and grew to take a na?ve pleasure in his appearance. There was only one fly in the delicious ointment—he hated to appear in public with his wife. Hildegarde was almost fifty, and the sight of her made him feel absurd.…

返老還童 八

希爾德加德?lián)]著一面大錦旗,在門口迎接他,甚至在吻她的時(shí)候,他的心都是沉甸甸的,他覺(jué)得這三年時(shí)間讓他們付出了代價(jià)。她現(xiàn)在已經(jīng)四十歲,頭上已經(jīng)斑斑駁駁地有了些許白發(fā),這個(gè)情景讓他覺(jué)得很沮喪。

他上樓走進(jìn)房間,看到熟悉的鏡子里自己的模樣——他又走近些,憂心忡忡地端詳著自己的面容,和戰(zhàn)爭(zhēng)爆發(fā)前的一張軍裝照比較了一會(huì)兒。

“上帝!”他大聲叫道。這個(gè)過(guò)程仍在繼續(xù)。毫無(wú)疑問(wèn)——他現(xiàn)在看起來(lái)像個(gè)三十歲的男人。他沒(méi)有感到高興,相反,他很發(fā)愁——他越來(lái)越年輕了。他一直希望,如果他的生理年齡和實(shí)際年齡相吻合的話,他出生時(shí)的古怪現(xiàn)象就不會(huì)再發(fā)揮影響了。他打了個(gè)冷戰(zhàn)。他的命運(yùn)似乎很可怕,很不可思議。

他下了樓,希爾德加德在等他。她似乎很生氣,他懷疑她是否終于察覺(jué)出什么異常了。他竭力緩和他們之間的緊張氣氛,晚飯的時(shí)候,他用自以為很委婉的方式想探探她對(duì)這件事的態(tài)度。

“哦,”他故作輕松地說(shuō),“大家都說(shuō)我看起來(lái)比以前任何時(shí)候都年輕。”

希爾德加德輕蔑地看著他,冷冷地哼了一聲?!澳阋詾檫@是值得炫耀的事情嗎?”

“我不是在炫耀。”他忐忑不安地表明態(tài)度。

她又冷冷地哼了一聲?!斑@個(gè)念頭,”她停了一會(huì)兒接著說(shuō),“我想但凡你有自尊心,就該斷了這個(gè)念頭?!?/p>

“我能怎么辦?”他問(wèn)道。

“我不想和你吵架,”她反駁道,“但是做一件事總是有對(duì)有錯(cuò)。如果你下定決心要與眾不同,我認(rèn)為我是管不了你,但是我真的認(rèn)為這很自私?!?/p>

“可是,希爾德加德,我無(wú)能為力呀?!?/p>

“你完全可以。你就是冥頑不化。你想特立獨(dú)行,你一直這樣,而且你還想一直這樣下去。但是請(qǐng)你想想,如果別人都像你一樣,將會(huì)是什么情形——這個(gè)世界會(huì)是什么樣子?”

因?yàn)檫@個(gè)問(wèn)題是與生俱來(lái)的,根本沒(méi)有答案,本杰明無(wú)言以對(duì)。從這以后,他們之間的分歧越來(lái)越大。他很奇怪,她以前怎么可能對(duì)他具有那么大的魅力。

隨著新世紀(jì)的到來(lái),他發(fā)現(xiàn),他對(duì)尋歡作樂(lè)的渴望愈發(fā)強(qiáng)烈,這進(jìn)一步加大了他們之間的嫌隙。巴爾的摩的任何一個(gè)類型的任何那個(gè)一個(gè)舞會(huì),都少不了他的影子。他和最漂亮的少婦跳舞,和最受青睞的社交界名媛聊天,他發(fā)現(xiàn)和她們?cè)谝黄鹆钊颂兆怼6钠拮?,一臉倒霉相的貴族老婆子,坐在陪伴未婚少女的女監(jiān)護(hù)人中間,一會(huì)兒帶著目空一切的不滿,一會(huì)兒又用嚴(yán)厲、困惑、怨憤的眼神盯著他的背影看。

“看!”人們會(huì)說(shuō),“真是可惜!這么年輕的一個(gè)小伙子拴到一個(gè)四十五歲的老女人身上。他一定比他妻子年輕二十歲。”他們已經(jīng)忘了——人們總是善于遺忘——早在一八八〇年,他們的父母對(duì)這一對(duì)不般配的夫妻做出過(guò)同樣的評(píng)價(jià)。

本杰明在家時(shí)越來(lái)越不開(kāi)心,他用許多新的愛(ài)好來(lái)消解煩惱。他打高爾夫球,并且取得了巨大的成功。他熱愛(ài)跳舞:一九〇六年,他成為“波士頓華爾茲”的專家;一九〇八年,他被公認(rèn)為“馬克西舞”的能手;而一九〇九年,他的“城堡舞”令全城的年輕人都驚嘆不已。

他的社交活動(dòng)當(dāng)然在某種程度上影響了他家的生意,不過(guò)那個(gè)時(shí)候他已經(jīng)為五金批發(fā)生意努力工作了二十五年,他覺(jué)得他很快就可以把生意交給兒子羅斯科打理,不久前羅斯科已經(jīng)從哈佛大學(xué)畢業(yè)了。

事實(shí)上,他和兒子經(jīng)常被人認(rèn)錯(cuò)。這讓本杰明很高興——不久他就忘記了他從美西戰(zhàn)場(chǎng)上返回家鄉(xiāng)時(shí)曾經(jīng)潛藏在心中的恐懼,開(kāi)始天真地喜歡上了自己的容貌。春風(fēng)得意的背后只有一件煩心事——他討厭和妻子一起出現(xiàn)在公共場(chǎng)合。希爾德加德快五十歲了,看到她,他就覺(jué)得非常荒唐……

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