I fear that my ambassador and I shall not continue much longer together. He is really growing past endurance. He transacts his business in so ridiculous a manner, that I am often compelled to contradict him, and do things my own way; and then, of course, he thinks them very ill done. He complained of me lately on this account at court; and the minister gave me a reprimand,—a gentle one it is true, but still a reprimand. In consequence of this, I was about to tender my resignation, when I received a letter, to which I submitted with great respect, on account of the high, noble, and generous spirit which dictated it. He endeavoured to soothe my excessive sensibility, paid a tribute to my extreme ideas of duty, of good example, and of perseverance in business, as the fruit of my youthful ardour, an impulse which he did not seek to destroy, but only to moderate, that it might have proper play and be productive of good. So now I am at rest for another week, and no longer at variance with myself. Content and peace of mind are valuable things: I could wish, my dear friend, that these precious jewels were less transitory.
我擔(dān)心,我的公使與我共事不長(zhǎng)了。這個(gè)簡(jiǎn)直叫你受不了。他辦公和處理問(wèn)題的方式十分可笑,我常常禁不住要講出自己的看法來(lái),或者干脆按照自己的想法和方式行事,結(jié)果自然從來(lái)不能令他滿意。最近他到宮里去告了我,部長(zhǎng)也就給了我一個(gè)申斥,雖說(shuō)相當(dāng)和緩,但申斥畢竟是申斥。我已準(zhǔn)備提出辭呈,這當(dāng)口卻收到了他的一封親筆信;這是一封怎樣的信呵!在它所包含的崇高、高尚和英明的思想面前,我不能不五體投地。他責(zé)備我有失偏激。他說(shuō),我對(duì)辦事效率、對(duì)影響他人、對(duì)干預(yù)政務(wù)等等問(wèn)題的想法,固然表現(xiàn)了年輕人的朝氣,值得尊重,但是卻操之過(guò)急;因此,他并不準(zhǔn)備叫我打消這些想法,而只希望使它們和緩一點(diǎn),只希望引導(dǎo)它們,讓它們發(fā)揮好影響,產(chǎn)生積極切實(shí)的作用。真的,有八天之久,我感到深受鼓舞,心情格外舒暢。內(nèi)心的平靜確是一件珍寶,簡(jiǎn)直就是歡樂(lè)本身。親愛(ài)的朋友,要是這珍寶既貴重美麗,又不易破碎就好嘍!
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