有些同事一直在散播我與上司有染的傳言。證據(jù)是我偶爾會跟他開玩笑,顯得一點(diǎn)都不怕他。這些蠢話讓我既好笑又憤怒,這純粹是蔑視女性。我是這家公司級別較高的女性之一,如果同事們相信我是一路睡上來的,會讓我非常沮喪。我是該一笑而過,還是試著澄清謠言?如果我想澄清謠言,該怎樣做呢?女性,40歲
Yes, it is depressing. No one considers the success of a man to be in need of furtherexplanation in terms of who he has slept with. This is a woman’s problem and it is a tricky one.
是的,這的確令人沮喪。假若是一個(gè)男人獲得了成功,沒人覺得他需要解釋自己跟誰睡過。這種問題只有女性會遇到,而且很難應(yīng)付。
Should you laugh it off, you ask. That might make sense if this were funny, only it is not.
你問自己是不是該一笑而過。如果這事很好笑,一笑而過才合理,然而它不是。
Should you try to quash it? Most Financial Times readers say no, arguing that you will onlymake matters worse: “The lady doth protest too much, methinks,” and all that. Yet every time Ihear the quote I regret that Shakespeare ever wrote these words: they are routinely used todiscourage anyone from trying to object to anything that does them damage.
你應(yīng)該澄清謠言嗎?《金融時(shí)報(bào)》的讀者大多說別這么做,說這種事只會越描越黑,“我想這女的會解釋得太多了”(The lady doth protest too much, methinks,出自《哈姆雷特》——譯者注),諸如此類。不過每次我聽到這句引語,我都會遺憾莎士比亞(Shakespeare)沒寫過下面這些文字:所有會傷害到他們的事物,每當(dāng)有人試圖反對時(shí),他們通常習(xí)慣于勸說不要反對。
And this rumour about you and your boss is damaging. It is a slight on your skill at your job,on your professional judgment, and (depending on what your boss is like) on your taste inmen.
而這個(gè)關(guān)于你和你上司的謠言就在造成傷害。它侮辱了你的工作能力,你的職業(yè)判斷力,以及你對男人的品味(取決于你上司是個(gè)什么樣的人)。
I suggest you first try to find out what you are up against. Ask your friends and allies in thecompany whether they have heard about it, who told them, and how long it has been doing therounds.
我建議你先搞清楚自己要面對些什么。問問關(guān)系比較近的同事,看他們是否聽過這些謠言,誰告訴他們的,以及這些謠言傳多久了。
Once you are armed with some names, I suggest you take matters into your own hands. Marchup to them and say: “I’ve got some hot gossip for you, did you know that I’m having an affairwith my boss?”
等到你掌握了一些名字后,我建議你親自去處理。你迎著他們走上前說:“我有些新鮮熱辣的八卦要告訴你。你知道我跟老板有一腿嗎?”
Watch them squirm. Then tell them that the gossip is that they were spreading rumours tothat effect. Let them wriggle and protest while you raise a sceptical eyebrow. Even if therumour refuses to die, you will have caused some grievous embarrassment. That, surely, willbe a comfort.
你看著他們局促不安的樣子,然后告訴他們,真正的八卦是他們在散播這種謠言。任由他們扭捏作態(tài)地申辯反駁,你只要懷疑地挑起一邊眉毛。即便謠言不會消失,你至少讓他們難堪。這絕對能安慰到你。
You could talk to your boss, but if I were you I would not. I am not frightened of my managereither, but I would not relish the idea of telling him that people thought I was sleeping with him.Quite apart from the trickiness of the conversation, there is the further snag that hisreputation is also on the line. If he finds out what people are saying, he might be less likely topromote you for fear of being seen to favour his rumoured mistress.
你也可以告訴你老板,不過假若我是你就不會這么做。我也不怕我經(jīng)理,但我不會告訴他人們以為我跟他上床了這種話。先不說這種事不好開口,更大的問題是,此事危及到他的名聲。如果他知道人們傳這些閑話,就可能不太會提拔你,因?yàn)樗麚?dān)心會被人們看成他在偏袒他傳聞中的情婦。
Otherwise I would not change a thing. For you to tease is absolutely fine. Above all, do notconsider working harder to prove that you deserve your place on your own merits. You havealready proved that to yourself, and if others do not see it that way, put it down to sexism andenvy.
另外,我覺得你什么也不用改變。你跟老板開玩笑是絕對沒問題的。最重要的是,你不要想通過更加努力工作來證明你是靠實(shí)力坐上這一位置的。你已經(jīng)向自己證明了這一點(diǎn),如果其他人不這么想,你就把他們歸結(jié)為性別歧視和嫉妒。