3分鐘幽默英語小故事帶翻譯

　　學(xué)累了?那就讓我們換個(gè)不一樣的方式放松一下吧!下面是聽力課堂小編給大家準(zhǔn)備的幽默英語小故事，一起來開懷大笑吧!

　　Golfing with cows

　　A man staggers into an emergency room with two black eyes and a five iron wrapped tightly around his throat.

　　一個(gè)男人搖搖晃晃地走進(jìn)了急診室，兩個(gè)眼睛是青的，脖子上有明顯的五指印。 　　Naturally the doctor asks him what happened. "Well, it was like this," said the man. "I was having a quiet round of golf with my wife when she sliced her ball into a pasture of cows.

　　醫(yī)生問他發(fā)生了什么。“額，是這樣的，”這個(gè)人說。“我和我老婆來了幾局高爾夫，她把球打到一個(gè)牛群里。”

　　"We went to look for it and while I was rooting around, I noticed one of the cows had something white at its rear end.

　　“我們?nèi)フ疫@個(gè)球，我四下搜索，發(fā)現(xiàn)一頭牛的屁股后面有個(gè)白色的東西。”

　　"I walked over and lifted up the tail and sure enough, there was my wife's golf ball -- stuck right in the middle of the cow's butt. That's when I made my mistake."

　　“我走過去，舉起了它的尾巴想看清楚，我老婆的球就卡在牛的屁股中間。然后我犯了一個(gè)錯(cuò)誤。”

　　"What did you do?" asks the doctor.

　　“你干嘛了?”醫(yī)生問。

　　"Well, I lifted the tail and yelled to my wife, 'Hey, this looks like yours!'"

　　“額，我舉起了牛的尾巴，對(duì)我老婆喊道，'這個(gè)好像是你的!'”

　　Hen House

　　The priest in a small Irish village was very fond of the chickens he kept in the hen house out the back of the parish rectory. He had a cock rooster and about ten hens.

　　在一個(gè)小小的愛爾蘭村莊中，牧師非常地喜愛雞舍中的小雞。雞舍位于教區(qū)后面，里面有一只公雞，十只母雞。

　　One Saturday night the cock rooster was missing and the priest suspected that it was because cock fights were being held in the village. So he decided to do something about it at church the next morning.

　　然而，公雞在一個(gè)星期六的晚上不見了，牧師懷疑可能是因?yàn)榇謇锱e辦了斗雞比賽。他謀劃在第二天早晨去教堂做些事情。

　　At Mass, he asked the congregation, "Has anybody got a cock?" All the men stood up.

　　當(dāng)著大家的面，他問道：“誰有一只公雞嗎?”所有的男人都站了起來。

　　"No, No," he said, "that wasn't what I meant. Has anybody seen a cock?" All the women stood up. 　　“不是的，”他說，“我不是那個(gè)意思，有誰見到過一只公雞嗎?”所有的女人都站了起來。 　　"No, No," he said, "that wasn't what I meant. Has anybody seen a cock that doesn't belong to them?" Half the women stood up.

　　“不是的!”他說，“我不是那個(gè)意思。有誰見過一只不屬于自己的公雞嗎?”半數(shù)的女人站了起來。

　　"No, No," he said, "that wasn't what I meant. Has anybody seen my cock?" All the altar boys stood up.

　　“不是的。”他說，“我也不是那個(gè)意思。有誰見過我的公雞嗎?”所有的侍者男孩都站了起來。

　　Stolen Turkey

　　Ducking into confession with a turkey in his arms, Brian said, "Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned. I stole this turkey to feed my family. Would you take it and settle my guilt?"

　　布萊恩抱著一只火雞，非常苦惱，他說：“原諒我，神父，我有罪。我偷來這只火雞給我家人吃。你能告慰我的罪嗎”

　　"Certainly not," said the Priest. "As penance, you must return it to the one from whom you stole it."

　　“當(dāng)然不行，”神父說。“你必須把它還回去，這樣才能贖罪。”

　　"I tried," Brian sobbed, "but he refused. Oh, Father, what should I do?"

　　“我試過了。”布萊恩抽泣著，“但是他拒絕了。神父，我到底該怎么辦呢?”

　　"If what you say is true, then it is all right for you to keep it for your family."

　　“如果你說的是真的，那你就留著它吧。”

　　Thanking the Priest, Brian hurried off.

　　謝過了神父，布萊恩跑開了。

　　When confession was over, the Priest returned to his residence. When he walked into the kitchen, he found that someone had stolen his turkey.

　　告誡會(huì)結(jié)束后 ，神父回到住處。當(dāng)他走到廚房的時(shí)候，他發(fā)現(xiàn)火雞不見了。

　　學(xué)習(xí)英語也可以邊學(xué)邊娛樂哦!讓你輕輕松松記憶~