老友記第一季The One Where the Monkey Gets Away

The One Where the M Gets Away

[Scene: Central Perk, Rachel is talking to a customer.]

Rachel: Okay, okay, I checked. We have: Earl Grey, English Breakfast, Cinnamon Stick, Camomile, Mint Medley, Blackberry, and.. oh, wait, there's one more, um.. Lemon Soother. You're not the guy that asked for the tea, are you? (Guy shakes his head) Okay.

Opening Credits

[Scene: Central Perk, Monica enters with some mail.]

Monica: Mail call, Rachel Green, bunk seven.

Rachel: Thank you. (Examines it) Oh, cool! Free sample of coffee!

Monica: Oh good! 'Cause where else would we get any?

Rachel: Oh. Right. ...Oh great.

Monica: What is it?

Rachel: Country club newsletter. My mother sends me the engagement notices for 'inspiration.' Oh my God! Oh my God, it's Barry and Mindy!

Monica: Barry who you almost...?

Rachel: Barry who I almost.

Monica: And Mindy, your maid of...?

Rachel: Mindy, my maid of. Oh!

Monica: (Takes it) That's Mindy? Wow, she is pretty. (Sees Rachel's look) Lucky. To have had a friend like you.

[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Rachel and Ross are eating Chinese.]

Ross: Marcel. Bring me the rice, c'mon. Bring me the rice, c'mon. Good boy. Good boy. C'mere, gimme the rice. (Marcel brings the rice) Thank you, good boy. Well, I see he's finally mastered the difference between 'bring me the' and 'pee in the'. (Rachel ignores him) 'Bring me the' and- Rach?

Rachel: What?

Ross: Hi.

Rachel: Oh, I'm sorry. Oh, this is so stupid! I mean, I gave Barry up, right? I should be happy for them! I am, I'm happy for them.

Ross: Really.

Rachel: No. Oh, oh, I guess it would be different if I were- with somebody.

Ross: Whoah, uh, what happened to, uh, 'Forget relationships! I'm done with men!' The whole, uh, penis embargo?

Rachel: Oh, I don't know. I guess it's not about no guys, it's about the right guy, y'know? I mean, with Barry, it was safe and it was easy, but there was no heat. With Paolo, that's all there was, was heat! And it was just this raw, animal, sexual...

Ross: Wait-wait. I, I got it. I was there.

Rachel: Well, I mean, do you think you can ever have both? Y'know? Someone who's like, who's like your best friend, but then also can make your toes curl?

Ross: Yes. Yes. Yes! Yes, I really do! In fact, it's funny, very often, someone who you wouldn't think could-could curl your toes, might just be the one who...

(Enter the other four)

Monica: Hi.

Ross: ...Gets interrupted. Hi!

Rachel: Hi, how was the movie?

Monica: Wonderful!

Phoebe: So good!

Joey: Suck-fest.

Chandler: Toootal chick-flick.

Phoebe: I-I'm sorry it wasn't one of those movies with, like, y'know, guns and bombs and, like, buses going really fast...

Joey: Hey, I don't need violence to enjoy a movie. Just so long as there's a little nudity.

Monica: There was nudity!

Joey: I meant female nudity. Alright? I don't need to see Lou Grant frolicking.

Monica and Phoebe: Hugh! Hugh Grant!

Ross: Alright, I've gotta go. C'mon, Marcel! C'mon! We're gonna go take a bath. Yes we are, aren't we? Yes, we are.

Chandler: They're still just friends, right?

Rachel: (To Marcel) And I will see you tomorrow!

Ross: That's right, you're gonna spend tomorrow at Aunt Rachel's, aren't you.

Monica: Oh, hang on, hang on. Does Aunt Monica get a say in this?

Ross: 'Pwease, Aunt Monica, pwease?' Oh, unclench. You're not even gonna be there.

[Scene: Joe-G's Pizza, the guys are there.]

Chandler: I can't believe we are even having this discussion.

Joey: I agree. I'm, like, in disbelief.

Chandler: I mean, don't you think if things were gonna happen with Rachel, they would've happened already?

Ross: I'm telling you, she said she's looking for a relationship with someone exactly like me.

Joey: She really said that?

Ross: Well, I added the 'exactly like me' part... But she said she's looking for someone, and someone is gonna be there tonight.

Joey: 'Tonight' tonight?

Ross: Well, I think it's perfect. Y'know, it's just gonna be the two of us, she spent all day taking care of my m...

Chandler: I can't remember the last time I got a girl to take care of my m.

Ross: Anyway, I figured after work I'd go pick up a bottle of wine, go over there and, uh, try to woo her.

Chandler: Hey, y'know what you should do? You should take her back to the 1890's, when that phrase was last used.

[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Rachel is taking care of Marcel and they are watching a soap opera.]

Rachel: Now, now the one in the feather boa, that's Dr. Francis. Now, she used to be a man. Okay, now look, see, there's Raven. We hate her. We're glad she's dying. Okay- (Marcel pushes down a cushion to reveal a shoe) Wh- wh- Marcel, are you playing with Monica's shoes? You know you're not supposed to pl- whoah. Marcel, did you poo in the shoe? (Takes the shoe into the kitchen) Marcel, bad m! Oh! Oh! (She notices the newsletter and taps the contents of the shoes onto it, then folds it shut) Sorry, Barry. Little engagement gift. I'm sure you didn't register for that. (She leaves the apartment holding the newsletter at arm's length. However, she leaves the door open. Marcel runs out in the opposite direction. There is a shot from the TV and Rachel runs back in) Who died? Who died? Roll him over! Oh, c'mon, roll him over! Oh...! Well, we know it wasn't Dexter, right Marcel? Because- (Looks down and notices he is missing) Marcel? Marc- (Notices the open door)

[Time lapse. Now everyone but Ross and Phoebe is back at Monica and Rachel's.]

Joey: How could you lose him?

Rachel: I don't know. We were watching TV, and then he pooped in Monica's shoe-

Monica: Wait. He pooped in my shoe? Which one?

Rachel: I don't know. The left one.

Monica: Which ones?

Rachel: Oh. Oh, those little clunky Amish things you think go with everything.

Phoebe: (Entering) Hey.

All: Hi.

Phoebe: Whoah, ooh, why is the air in here so negative?

Chandler: Rachel lost Marcel.

Phoebe: Oh no, how?

Monica: He- he pooped in my shoe.

Phoebe: Which one?

Monica: Those cute little black ones I wear all the time.

Phoebe: No, which one? The right or left? 'Cause the left one is lucky...

Rachel: C'mon, you guys, what're we gonna do, what're we gonna do?

Joey: Alright alright. You're a m. You're loose in the city. Where do you go?

Chandler: Okay, it's his first time out, so he's probably gonna wanna do some of the touristy things. I'll go to Cats, you go to the Russian Tea Room.

Rachel: Oh, my, God, c'mon, you guys! He's gonna be home any minute! He's gonna kill me!

Monica: Okay, we'll start with the building. You guys take the first and second floor, Phoebe and I'll take third and fourth.

Rachel: Well, what'm I gonna do? What'm I gonna do?

Monica: Okay, you stay here, and just wait by the phone. Spray Lysol in my shoe, and wait for Ross to kill you.

(They all leave)

Rachel: Anybody wanna trade? Oh...

[Cut to a hallway in the building, Monica and Phoebe are knocking on a door. Mr. Heckles emerges.]

Mr. Heckles: Whaddyou want?

Monica: Mr. Heckles, our friend lost a m. Have you seen it?

Mr. Heckles: I left a Belgian waffle out here, did you take it?

Monica: No!

Phoebe: Why would you leave your Belgian waffle in the hall?

Mr. Heckles: I wasn't ready for it.

Monica: A m. Have you seen a m?

Mr. Heckles: Saw Regis Philbin once...

Phoebe: Okay, thank you, Mr. Heckles. (They move off)

Mr. Heckles: You owe me a waffle.

[Cut to Monica and Rachel's.]

Rachel: (On the phone) Okay, he's a, he's a black capuchian m with a white face... (Enter Ross) ...with, with Russian dressing and, and pickles on the side. Okay. Thanks.

Ross: Hey. How did, uh, how'd it go today?

Rachel: Great! It went great. Really great. Hey, is that wine?

Ross: Yeah. You, uh, you want some?

Rachel: Oh, I would love some. But y'know what? Y'know what? Let's not drink it here. I'm feeling kinda crazy. You wanna go to Newark?

Ross: Uh, okay, yeah, we could do that, but before we head off to the murder capital of the North-East, I was, uh, kinda wanting to run something by you. Y'know how we were, uh, y'know, talking before about, uh, relationships and stuff? (Uncorks the wine) Well-

Rachel: Oh God, Ross, I cannot do this.

Ross: Okay, quick and painful. (Starts to cork the wine)

Rachel: Oh God... Okay. Alright. Alright. Okay. Ross, please don't hate me.

Ross: Oh, what? What-what?

Rachel: Y'know Marcel?

Ross: ...Yeah?

Rachel: Well, I kind of... I kind of lost him.

[Cut to outside the window, with Ross reacting with disbelief. The shot pans back until we see Marcel sitting on the window ledge.]

Commercial Break

[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, continued from earlier.]

Ross: (Angry) I- I- I ca- I can't believe this. I mean, all I asked you to do was keep him in the apartment.

Rachel: I know, I know, I'm sorry-

Ross: No, y'know what, I guess it's partially my fault. Y'know, I shouldn't've, uh, asked you to start off with a m. I should've started you off with like a pen or a pencil.

Rachel: (Tearfully) Ross, I'm doing everything that I can, I've got everybody looking for him, and I- (Door buzzer goes and she runs to get it) Oh! Who is it?

Intercom: Animal Control.

Rachel: See? I've even called Animal Control!

Ross: You called Animal Control?

Rachel: Uh-huh... why... do you not like them?

Ross: Marcel is an illegal exotic animal. I'm not allowed to have him in the city. If they find him, they'll take him away from me.

Rachel: O-okay, now see, you never ever ever told us that...

Ross: That's right, I.. 'cause I didn't expect you were gonna invite them to the apartment!

(A knock on the door. Rachel swiftly opens it)

Rachel: Hi, thanks for coming.

Luisa: (Animal Control) Somebody called about a m?

Rachel: Oh, y'know what? That was a complete misunderstanding! (Ross puts his arms around her and they act all sweetness and light)

Ross: Yeah, we thought we had a m, but we-we didn't.

Rachel: Turned out it was a hat.

Ross: Cat!

Rachel: Cat! What'm I saying? Cat!

(Luisa nods, but then Monica and Phoebe run in)

Monica: Hi. We checked the third and fourth floor, no-one's seen Marcel.

Luisa: Marcel?

Ross: My uncle Marcel.

Phoebe: Oh, is that who the m's named after?

Luisa: Oookay. Are you aware that possession of an illegal exotic is, uh, punishable by up to two years in prison and confiscation of the animal?

Phoebe: Oh my God. You'd put that poor little creature in jail?

Monica: Pheebs, you remember how we talked about saying things quietly to yourself first?

Phoebe: Yes, but there isn't always time!

Monica: Look. I'm sure there's some friendly way to reconcile this! Um, have a seat. First of all, we haven't been introduced, I'm Monica Geller.

Luisa: Oh my God, you are! And you're Rachel Green!

Rachel: Yeah!

Luisa: Luisa Gianetti! Lincoln High? I sat behind you guys in home room!

Rachel: Luisa? Oh my God! Monica! It's Luisa!

Monica: The Luisa from home room!

Rachel: Yes!!

Luisa: You have no idea who I am, do you.

Monica: No, none at all.

Rachel: None.

Luisa: Well, maybe that's because you spent four years ignoring me. I mean, would it have been so hard to say 'Morning, Luisa'? Or 'Nice overalls'?

Monica: Oh, I'm- I'm so sorry!

Luisa: Ah, it's not so much you, you were fat, you had your own problems. (To Rachel) But you? What a bitch!

Rachel: What?!

Monica: Be that as it may, d'you think you could just help us out here on that m thing? Y'know, just for old times' sake? Go Bobcats?

Luisa: I could... but I won't. If I find that m, he's mine. (Leaves)

Phoebe: Dun-dun-duuuur! Sorry.

[Cut to another part of the building. We see Marcel jump in through a window and run down some stairs, then Chandler and Joey come down from the upper floor without noticing.]

Chandler: Marcel?

Joey: Marcel?

Chandler: Marcel?

Joey: Marcel?

(They come to a door and silently agree to try it. A very sweaty woman emerges)

Woman No. 1: Hi, can I help you?

(Chandler and Joey are dumbstruck for a moment)

Chandler: Um, we're kind of having an emergency and we-we were looking for something...

Joey: A m.

Chandler: Yes have you seen any?

Woman No. 1: No. No, haven't seen a m. Do you know anything about fixing radiators?

Joey: Um, sure! Did you, uh, did you try turning the knob back the other way?

Woman No. 1: Of course.

Joey: Oh. Then, no.

(Another sweaty woman comes to the door and speaks to her friend)

Woman No. 2: Did I put too much rum in here?

(Joey and Chandler shoot each other glances)

Woman No. 1: Just a sec. (To Chandler and Joey) Hope you find your m. (She starts to shut the door)

Chandler: Oh, nononowaitwaitwaitnono! Uh... we may not know anything about radiators per se, but we do have a certain amount of expertise in the heating and cooling... mileu.

Joey: Uh, aren't we kind of in the middle of something here?

Chandler: Yes, but these women are very hot, and they need our help! And they're very hot.

Joey: We can't, alright? (To the women) We're sorry. You have no idea how sorry, but... We promised we'd find this m. If you see him, he's about yea high and answers to the name Marcel, so if we could get some pictures of you, you'd really be helping us out.

(The women quickly shut the door)

Chandler: Okay, from now on, you don't get to talk to other people.

Joey: Marcel?

Chandler: Marcel?!

[Cut to Monica and Phoebe searching the basement.]

Phoebe: Marcel?

Monica: Marcel?

Phoebe: Marcel?

Both: Marcel?

Phoebe: Oh-my-God!

Monica: Whaaat!

Phoebe: Something just brushed up against my right leg!

Monica: What is it?

Phoebe: Oh, it's okay, it was just my left leg.

(Marcel makes a mish noise. He is sitting in the corner)

Monica: Look, Phoebe!

Phoebe: Yeah! Oh, c'mere, Marcel! Oh, Marcel, c'mere!

(Luisa appears on the stairs)

Luisa: Step aside, ladies! (She loads a gun)

Monica: What're you gonna do?

Luisa: Just a small tranquiliser.

(In slow motion we see Phoebe look at Marcel, then at Luisa. She jumps toward Marcel just as Luisa fires the gun.)

Monica: Run, Marcel, run! Run, Marcel! (Marcel runs off and Luisa runs after him. Monica goes to check up on Phoebe) Are you okay?

Phoebe: Yeah, think so. Oh! (She notices the tranquiliser dart has hit her in the butt and removes it) Huh. (Sways back) Whoah.

Monica: Oh gosh.

[Cut to Marcel walking along a hallway. He notices a banana on the floor and picks it up. The hand of an unseen person grabs him and carries him away. Then cut to Ross and Rachel on the street outside.]

Ross: Marcel?

Rachel: Marcel?

Ross: Marc- oh, this is ridiculous! We've been all over the neighbourhood. He's gone, he's-he's just gone.

Rachel: Ross, you don't know that.

Ross: Oh come on. It's cold, it's dark, he doesn't know the Village. (Kicks a sign in frustration) And now I have a broken foot. I have no m, and a broken foot! Thank you very much.

Rachel: Ross, I said I'm sorry like a million times. What do you want me to do? You want me to break my foot too? Okay, I'm gonna break my foot, right here. (Kicks the sign) Ow!! Oh! Oh my God, oh my God! There, are you happy now?!

Ross: Yeah, yeah. Y'know, now that you kicked the sign, hey! I don't miss Marcel any more!

Rachel: Y'know, it is not like I did this on purpose.

Ross: Oh, no no no. Nono, this is just vintage Rachel. I mean, things just sort of happen around you. I mean, you're off in Rachel-land, doing your Rachel-thing, totally oblivious to people's ms, or to people's feelings...

Rachel: Ross.

Ross: I don't even wanna hear it, you're just...

Rachel: Ross.

Ross: Oh, forget it, okay?

Rachel: Ross!

Ross: What? What?

(A man carrying a box of bananas walks past them. They stare for a minute and then hobble after him)

Both: Hey! Hey, Bananaman!

(Scene 4: Everyone in the hall outside Mr. Heckles' door. Ross is carrying the box of bananas. He bangs on the door)

Phoebe: Oh, this is so intense. One side of my butt is totally asleep, and the other side has no idea.

(Mr. Heckles opens the door)

Ross: Hi, did you order some bananas?

Mr. Heckles: What about it?

Ross: Gimme back my m.

Mr. Heckles: I don't have a m.

Rachel: Then what's with all the bananas?

Mr. Heckles: Potassium.

(There is a m-like noise from within and Ross pushes past Mr. Heckles and enters his apartment)

Ross: Marcel? Marcel? Okay, where is he? Where is he? Marcel? Marcel?

(Marcel jumps into view wearing a pink dress. Everybody gasps)

Ross: Marcel! What've you done to him?

Mr. Heckles: That's my m. That's Patti, Patti the m.

Ross: Are you insane? C'mere, Marcel, c'mon. (Marcel starts to go to him)

Mr. Heckles: C'mere, Patti. (Marcel turns round)

Ross: C'mere, Marcel. (Turns to Ross)

Mr. Heckles: C'mere, Patti. (Turns to Mr. Heckles)

Luisa: (Out of shot) Here, m. Here, m! Here, m! (Marcel runs to the door and into Luisa's cage, which she slams shut) Gotcha.

Ross: Okay, gimme my m back.

Mr. Heckles: That's my m.

Luisa: You're both gonna have to take this up with the judge.

Mr. Heckles: That's not my m. Just the dress is mine, you can send that back whenever.

Ross: Alright, I want my m.

Luisa: No!

Rachel: Oh, c'mon, Luisa!

Luisa: Sorry, prom queen.

Ross: (To Rachel) You had to be a bitch in high school, you couldn't've been fat.

Rachel: Alright. In high school I was the prom queen and I was the homecoming queen and the class president and you... were also there! But if you take this m, I will lose one of the most important people in my life. You can hate me if you want, but please do not punish him. C'mon, Luisa, you have a chance to be the bigger person here! Take it!

Luisa: Nope.

Rachel: Alright. Well then how about I call your supervisor, and I tell her that you shot my friend in the ass with a dart?

[Scene: Monica and Rachel's. Rachel and Ross are there. Ross is trying to get the dress off Marcel.]

Ross: It'll be nice to get this off finally, won't it? Yes it will. (Marcel resists) Or we can leave it on for now, that's fine.

Rachel: Y'know, with the right pair of pumps, that would be a great little outfit.

Ross: Listen, I'm- I'm sorry I was so hard on you before, it's just I...

Rachel: Oh, Ross, c'mon. It's my fault, I almost lost your...

Ross: Yeah, but you were the one who got him back, y'know? You, you were great. ...Hey, we uh, we still have that, uh, that bottle of wine. You in the mood for, uh, something grape?

Rachel: That'd be good.

Ross: Alright. (He goes to get the glasses. Then he hesitates and turns off the main light. Rachel looks round and he acts surprised) The, uh, the neighbours must be vacuuming. (He sits down and starts to pour the wine) Well, so long as we're here and, uh, not on the subject, I was thinking about, uh, how mad we got at each other before, and, um, I was thinking maybe it was partially because of how we, um...

(Barry bursts in)

Barry: Rachel.

Rachel: Barry?!

Barry: I can't. I can't do it, I can't marry Mindy. I think I'm still in love with you.

Ross and Rachel: Oh!

Ross: We have got to start locking that door!

Closing Credits

[Scene: Central Perk, Monica, Joey, Phoebe, and Chandler are looking through Monica's high school yearbook]

Monica: This is me in The Sound of Music. See the von Trapp kids?

Phoebe: Nope.

Monica: That's because I'm in front of them.

Chandler: Eh. I thought that was an alp.

Monica: Well, high school was not my favourite time.

Joey: I dunno, I loved high school. Y'know? It was just four years of parties and dating and sex.

Chandler: Yeah, well I went to boarding school with four hundred boys. Any sex I had would've involved a major lifestyle choice.

Monica: Gosh, doesn't it seem like a million years ago?

Phoebe: Oh. Oooh! Ooh! Ooh! (She stands up and starts to dance around) Ooh! My butt cheek is waking up! Oooh! Ooh!

End

我剛看過(guò)了

我們有伯爵茶，英式早餐茶

肉桂茶，菊花茶薄荷茶，黑莓茶

還有，讓我想一下，哦…檸檬派

你不是那個(gè)要喝茶的人對(duì)吧?

瑞秋，你有信

謝謝

酷，免費(fèi)試喝的咖啡

太好了

因?yàn)樵谀膬哼€有免費(fèi)的咖啡?

太好了

那是什么?

鄉(xiāng)村俱樂(lè)部的每日公報(bào)

我媽寄來(lái)通知有人要訂婚了

噢,我的天!

是巴瑞和明蒂

巴瑞，你幾乎...

巴瑞，我?guī)缀?..

明蒂，你的伴娘

明蒂，我的伴娘

我看看

那是明蒂?真漂亮

她真幸運(yùn)…

有你這樣的朋友

馬修，拿飯給我，快…

真乖，謝謝

他終于能分辨”拿來(lái)”

和”尿在”的差別了

瑞秋,怎么啦?

抱歉，我真是太笨了

是我不要巴瑞的

我應(yīng)該為他們高興

我真為他們高興

真的?

不

如果我和別人在一起就不同了

你不是說(shuō)要忘了那段感情

不再和男人在一起

厭惡男人嗎?

我不知道

我想這不是沒(méi)有男人的問(wèn)題

而是合適男人的問(wèn)題

和巴瑞在一起安全自在

沒(méi)有激情

和保羅在一起就充滿激情

如野獸般原始的性愛(ài)

好了，我懂，

我看過(guò)你們兩個(gè)在一起的樣子

你認(rèn)為我能兩者同時(shí)擁有嗎?

找到一個(gè)能當(dāng)知己

又能讓我感受到激情的人?

是呀,我也這么認(rèn)為.

其實(shí)說(shuō)來(lái)好笑

時(shí)常你認(rèn)為無(wú)法讓你感受到激情的人

卻是…

被打斷了

電影如何?

很不錯(cuò)

很不錯(cuò)

遜斃了

根本是小妞們看的嘛

真遺撼這不是槍林彈雨

公車(chē)速度奇快的那種電影

暴力并不能吸引我

只要有裸體鏡頭我就滿足了

那電影也有裸體鏡頭

我是指女生的裸體鏡頭

我不愛(ài)看盧葛蘭的春宮

休葛蘭

我得走了

走吧，馬修，快

我們?nèi)ハ丛?/p>

對(duì)不對(duì)?

對(duì)

他們只是朋友嗎?

明天見(jiàn)

對(duì)，你明天要到瑞秋阿姨家

等等，摩阿姨能說(shuō)句話嗎?

摩阿姨請(qǐng)說(shuō)

別緊張了，你不會(huì)在這兒的

我無(wú)法相信我們竟在討論此事

我同意，我也無(wú)法相信

你不認(rèn)為

如果你和瑞秋會(huì)愛(ài)情產(chǎn)生的話

還會(huì)一直拖到現(xiàn)在嗎?

告訴你，她說(shuō)她在尋找像我這樣的人

她真的這樣說(shuō)?

”像我這樣”是我自己加的

她說(shuō)她在尋找某人

而此人今晚就會(huì)出現(xiàn)

今天晚上?

這樣最好不過(guò)了

因?yàn)橹挥形覀儍蓚€(gè)

她整天都在照顧我的猴子

我早已忘記哪個(gè)女人照顧過(guò)我的猴子

總之下班后我要去買(mǎi)瓶酒

去向她”示愛(ài)”

知道你該怎么做嗎?

帶她回到用”示愛(ài)”的十九世紀(jì)去

如果你繼續(xù)這樣

我發(fā)誓這星期內(nèi)

你就可以和這個(gè)渾蛋結(jié)束

圍羽毛圍巾的是法博土

她曾是個(gè)男人

出現(xiàn)了蕾文

我們討厭她

真高興她就快死了

什么?

馬修，想玩摩妮卡的鞋嗎?

你不能玩…

馬修，你在鞋里大便?

天啊，壞猴子

抱歉，巴瑞，訂婚禮物

我相信你沒(méi)登記

誰(shuí)死了?

翻過(guò)去

不是崔斯勒 馬修?

因?yàn)?hellip;馬修…

你怎會(huì)把它弄丟了呢?天曉得

我正在看電視

它在摩妮卡的鞋內(nèi)大便

它在我的鞋里大便?

我不知道，左腳

哪一雙?

搭配什么都好看的阿米許鞋

為何一片愁云慘霧?

瑞秋把馬修弄丟了

不會(huì)吧，怎么丟的?

它在我鞋里大便

哪個(gè)?

我常穿的那只黑鞋

是哪一只?左腳還右腳?

因?yàn)樽竽_是幸運(yùn)鞋

大家快想辦法

我們?cè)撛趺崔k?

有了，如果你是只猴子

迷失在大城市時(shí)

你會(huì)去哪兒?

這是它第一次出門(mén)

所以大概和一般游客一樣

我去百老匯找.

你去俄羅斯茶坊.

別再鬧了

他馬上就會(huì)回家

他不會(huì)饒過(guò)我的

我們從這棟公寓開(kāi)始找起

你們找一樓和二樓

菲此和我找三樓和四樓

我該怎么辦?

你留在家里等電話

在我鞋內(nèi)嘖芳香劑

順便等羅斯回來(lái)殺你

有人要交換嗎?

干嘛?

哈先生

我們朋友遺失了一只猴子

你有看見(jiàn)嗎?

我放了威化餅在這兒

是不是你拿了?

不!

你怎會(huì)放威化餅在走廊?

我還不想吃

你有看見(jiàn)猴子嗎?

我見(jiàn)到過(guò)一次”理吉斯菲邦”（著名電視節(jié)目主持人）

謝謝你，哈先生

你們欠我威化餅

他是一只白臉的黑卷尾猴

加俄國(guó)醬外加腌黃瓜

好，謝謝

今天過(guò)得如何?很好啊

很好啊

真的很不錯(cuò).那是酒嗎?

是的,想喝嗎?

可是我們別在這兒喝

我感覺(jué)有點(diǎn)瘋狂

我們?nèi)ゼ~華克好嗎?

什么?

當(dāng)然可以去

前往這東北犯罪首府

我有些話想說(shuō)

我們?cè)勥^(guò)感情的問(wèn)題

羅斯，我受不了了

你回絕得倒是很快嘛

好吧，羅斯，別恨我

到底是什么?

馬修它…

我把它…弄丟了

我真不敢相信

我只是麻煩你別讓它跑出去

我知道，對(duì)不起

不，我該負(fù)一半的責(zé)任

我不該叫你照顧猴子

應(yīng)該叫你照顧筆才對(duì)

羅斯，我已盡最大的努力

我已叫大家分頭去找

是誰(shuí)?

動(dòng)物控制中心.

瞧，我甚至打給動(dòng)物控制中心

你打給動(dòng)物控制中心?

怎么了?你不喜歡他們?

馬修是非法的外來(lái)動(dòng)物

我是非法飼養(yǎng)

萬(wàn)一被他們找到他們就會(huì)帶走它

你從來(lái)就沒(méi)有告訴大家

沒(méi)錯(cuò)，因?yàn)槲覜](méi)想到你會(huì)請(qǐng)他們來(lái)

謝謝你來(lái)

有人遺失猴子?

對(duì)，這是個(gè)誤會(huì)

我以為我們有養(yǎng)猴子

但是我們沒(méi)有

結(jié)果是帽子

貓

貓

貓，我剛說(shuō)什么?

我們問(wèn)過(guò)三樓和四樓

沒(méi)人看見(jiàn)馬修

我叔叔馬修

那猴子是以你叔叔命名?

你知道持有非法外來(lái)動(dòng)物

可判刑兩年并沒(méi)收動(dòng)物?

天啊，你要把猴子關(guān)進(jìn)監(jiān)牢?

菲比，你記得如何先對(duì)自己小聲說(shuō)嗎?

記得，但總不是時(shí)候.

我相信我們能以友善的處理方式

請(qǐng)坐

首先，我們還沒(méi)自己介紹

我叫摩妮卡

天啊，你是莫尼卡

還有，你是瑞秋對(duì)嗎?

露莎，林肯高中

我坐在你們后面

露莎

摩妮卡，是露莎

是在后面那個(gè)?

沒(méi)錯(cuò).

你們根本不知道我是誰(shuí)對(duì)不?

不,一點(diǎn)也不.

或許你們那四年

都在當(dāng)我不存在

難道說(shuō)”早安，露莎”

或”好漂亮的連身褲”有那么困難嗎?

對(duì)不起

我不怪你，你當(dāng)時(shí)很胖

你有自己的煩惱

可是你實(shí)在是個(gè)賤貨

什么?

別計(jì)較了

你真認(rèn)為你能幫我們找猴子?

看在過(guò)去的份上?

幫我們找

我可以，我不

找到猴子后

它就是我的了

抱歉

馬修?

馬修?

需要幫忙嗎?

我們有急事

我們?cè)谡覗|西

猴子

對(duì)，你有看見(jiàn)嗎?

我沒(méi)看見(jiàn)猴子

你知道如何修理散熱器嗎?

當(dāng)然你試過(guò)將轉(zhuǎn)鈕轉(zhuǎn)回去嗎?

當(dāng)然

那我就不知道了

試試這個(gè)是不是加太多蘭姆酒了?

等等，希望你們能找到猴子

不，等等

我們對(duì)散熱器或許不太懂

我們可是冷暖環(huán)境的專家

我們不是正在忙嗎?

對(duì)，她們很熱而且需要幫助

而且很火辣

我們不行

抱歉你們不知道

我們有多抱歉

我們答應(yīng)人家要找猴子

如果你們看見(jiàn)它

它約這么高，名叫馬修

如果能擁有你們的照片

就算是幫了大忙

從現(xiàn)在起不準(zhǔn)你和其他人講話

馬修?

馬修?

馬修?

馬修?

噢,我的天

有東西碰到我的右腳

是什么?

沒(méi)什么，是我的左腳

看，菲此

馬修，過(guò)來(lái)…

站過(guò)去，兩位小姐

你要干什么?

打鎮(zhèn)定劑

快跑,馬修,快跑!

你還好吧?

還行.哦

馬修…這簡(jiǎn)直是太荒謬了

我們到處都找遍了

它不見(jiàn)了，就這么消失了

羅斯，還不一定

拜托，天氣好冷天又黑

它根本不認(rèn)識(shí)路

現(xiàn)在我的腳又受傷了

猴子換來(lái)受傷的腳

真的感謝你

羅斯，我已向你道歉過(guò)無(wú)數(shù)次

你到底要我怎么樣?

你到底想怎樣?你也要我的腳受傷?

瞧，高興了吧

對(duì)，你踢完路標(biāo)后

我突然不再想念馬修了

我真的不是故意的

當(dāng)然，這是典型的瑞秋

這種事常發(fā)生在你身上

你活在自己的世界中

完全無(wú)視于別人的猴子

或是別人的感覺(jué)…

羅斯

我不想聽(tīng)

羅斯

羅斯

搬香蕉的

這下可好

一邊的屁股在睡覺(jué)

另一邊卻毫無(wú)所知

你有訂香蕉嗎?

那是干嗎的?

還我的猴子.

我沒(méi)猴子

干嘛買(mǎi)一箱香蕉?補(bǔ)充鉀

馬修?它在哪兒?

馬修?它在哪兒?

馬修

你對(duì)它怎么了?

這是我的猴子，它叫佩蒂

你瘋了不成

過(guò)來(lái)，馬修…

過(guò)來(lái)，佩蒂

猴子過(guò)來(lái)…

總算逮到你了

把我的猴子還給我

那是我的猴子

你們到法官面前去爭(zhēng)吧

那不是我的猴子

只有衣服是我的

隨時(shí)可以送回來(lái)

我要我的猴子

露莎，拜托抱歉了，舞會(huì)皇后

你高中時(shí)干嘛那么賤

為何不當(dāng)個(gè)胖妹?

在學(xué)校我是舞會(huì)皇后

返?；屎蠛桶啻?/p>

你也在場(chǎng)

如果你把猴子帶走

我將失去我生命中重要的人

你可以恨我

請(qǐng)別折磨他

此時(shí)你有機(jī)會(huì)成為大人物

把握機(jī)會(huì)吧

不

那么我只好告訴你的長(zhǎng)官

你在我朋友的屁股上開(kāi)了一槍

終于能脫去這件衣服

或是這樣也不錯(cuò)

配上鞋就是完整的一套

抱歉，我對(duì)你這么兇

不，這都是我的錯(cuò)

我差點(diǎn)…

不，它也是你找回來(lái)的

你做得很好

那瓶酒還在

有心情喝杯葡萄酒嗎?

好呀.

很好

隔壁一定在用吸塵器

只要我們?cè)谶@兒不談那個(gè)話題

我在想我們剛剛實(shí)在是惡言相向

大概是因?yàn)槲覀?hellip;

瑞秋

我辦不到

我無(wú)法和明蒂結(jié)婚

我想我愛(ài)的人依然是你

我們得開(kāi)始鎖門(mén)了

這是演”真善美”的我

看見(jiàn)范崔普的孩子嗎?沒(méi)有

因?yàn)槲覔踉谒麄兦懊?/p>

我以為那是阿爾卑斯山

我的高中時(shí)代并不如意

我愛(ài)高中,知道嗎?

那只是.

四年的舞會(huì)，約會(huì)和做愛(ài)

是嗎?

我上住宿的學(xué)校和四百個(gè)男孩子

每次做愛(ài)都是一次生活方式的重大抉擇

天啊，那不是回到史前時(shí)代?

我的屁股醒了