絕望的主婦第二季第一集

[00:03.42]previously on... [00:05.38] [00:05.54]you're awfully brave buying place site unseen. [00:07.54] [00:07.59]We could tell from the advertisement it was just what [00:08.84] [00:08.88]we were looking for. Sometimes...</i> [00:11.21] [00:11.21]who ever said you were the father? [00:13.22] [00:13.26]Didn't you think it was strange that you have the only lawn on wisteria lane [00:16.01] [00:16.05]that needed to be mowed three times a week? [00:17.89] [00:17.93]I am going to kill you! [00:20.06] [00:20.10]The truth about our loved ones... [00:21.68] [00:21.73]you asked peterson's wife to make sure he wouldn't promote me [00:23.73] [00:23.77]so I quit. I'm gonna be a stay-at-home dad. [00:25.85] [00:25.90]We should... talk about this. [00:27.86] [00:27.90]You're goin' back to work. [00:28.90] [00:28.90]Can lead you into harm's way. [00:31.48] [00:31.53]I think I'm having a heart attack. [00:32.82] [00:32.86]You are gonna come through this operation just fine. [00:35.99] [00:35.99]Hello? [00:36.99] [00:37.03]Rex passed away about ten minutes ago. [00:39.87] [00:39.91]I'm so sorry. [00:41.83] [00:41.87]Mr. Delfino took my dad away to kill him. [00:43.79] [00:43.83]Now I'm gonna kill mr. Delfino. [00:46.46] [00:49.84]It was an accepted fact among the residents of Wisteria Lane</i> [00:53.55] [00:53.59]that Ida Greenberg liked her liquor.</i> [00:57.51] [00:57.59]People had seen her drunk at sewing bees...</i> [01:01.31] [01:01.97]the department of motor vehicles...</i> [01:05.06] [01:06.02]and the first methodist church.</i> [01:09.11] [01:10.77]Ida had tried to quit drinking many times,</i> [01:13.78] [01:13.82]but she couldn't.</i> [01:15.40] [01:15.45]Then one night in a moment of despair,</i> [01:18.24] [01:18.24]she challenged god</i> [01:20.24] [01:20.28]to quench her never-ending thirst.</i> [01:23.95] [01:25.46]Luckily for Ida, God was listening.</i> [01:29.75] [01:56.40]Zach, listen to me. [01:59.16] [02:00.11]No! [02:01.70] [02:10.79]Not so tough now,are you? [02:13.50] [02:15.34]Uh! Ow! Oh! Bongo,no! [02:16.59] [02:16.63]Bongo!Bongo! [02:19.59] [02:29.10]It was at that moment it occurred to Ida</i> [02:32.73] [02:32.77]God may work in mysterious ways,</i> [02:35.94] [02:35.98]but he isn't particularly subtle.</i> [02:39.45] [03:26.08]It had been a year since my death,</i> [03:28.37] [03:28.37]and a lot had changed on Wisteria Lane.</i> [03:32.08] [03:33.96]children had learned new games.</i> [03:36.96] [03:39.59]New neighbors had moved in.</i> [03:42.80] [03:44.76]Old houses had been rebuilt...</i> [03:46.72] [03:46.76]I told you guys twice. [03:47.97] [03:48.01]Okay, Craig,what's goin' on? [03:49.39] [03:49.43]And fresh tragedies had occurred.</i> [03:52.44] [03:52.44]In one house,</i> [03:54.73] [03:54.81]a widow was getting ready to tell her friends of her husband's passing.</i> [03:59.32] [03:59.36]But until the time was right,</i> [04:01.61] [04:01.65]she would wait.</i> [04:03.74] [04:03.78]And life,as it tends to do,</i> [04:06.66] [04:06.70]would go on.</i> [04:08.70] [04:08.79]I look like hell. I need a hairbrush. [04:11.83] [04:11.83]Yeah, um, that's not gonna help. [04:15.04] [04:16.54]Susan, [04:18.00] [04:18.04]officer Romslove is here for your statement. [04:21.05] [04:21.09]Zach young do that? [04:22.63] [04:22.67]No. She fell. Bit her lip. It was an accident. [04:26.01] [04:26.05]Okay. [04:27.26] [04:27.30]So,uh,walk me through what happened. [04:29.60] [04:29.64]well, I went over to mike's to feed the dog. [04:32.06] [04:32.10]- I'm sorry? - Feed the dog. [04:34.89] [04:35.85]and I turned around, [04:37.31] [04:37.36]and there was Zach young-- [04:38.69] [04:38.73]and that's Zach with an "h"-- [04:40.78] [04:40.78]- pointing a gun at me. - The doctor said keep that in. [04:43.53] [04:43.53]You gotta understand, Zach's had a tough time. [04:45.78] [04:45.82]- He's got emotional issues-- - 'cause he's crazy. [04:48.66] [04:48.70]Still, I don't think he meant to hurt anybody. [04:50.74] [04:50.79]Uh,hello! Uh,he was waiting there for you to come home [04:54.62] [04:54.66]so he could kill you. [04:56.04] [04:56.08]Is that what happened when you got home? [04:57.58] [04:57.63]The kid took a shot at you? [04:58.79] [04:58.83]Actually, Susan fired the gun. [05:00.29] [05:00.34]That's because I was wrestling it away from Zach [05:03.51] [05:03.55]so that he wouldn't shoot you. [05:06.13] [05:06.88]Oh,there's blood. [05:09.22] [05:09.26]Could we do this later? She's kind of a mess right now. [05:12.22] [05:12.22]Yeah, I think I can fill in the rest for you. [05:14.10] [05:14.14]I'd appreciate it. [05:15.48] [05:15.52]- You feel better, mrs. Mayer. - Thanks. [05:18.19] [05:20.56]Ow! That hurts. [05:22.86] [05:22.94]- I'm gonna get you more ice. - Okay. [05:25.49] [05:26.45]No,I'm tellin' you. [05:27.32] [05:27.36]Susan really flew off the handle when she jumped the kid. [05:30.03] [05:30.07]So you're saying this was more of a domestic squabble? [05:32.29] [05:32.33]Definitely, yeah. [05:33.70] [05:33.79]Are we required to press charges? [05:35.87] [05:35.91]Well,you're not really required, [05:37.42] [05:37.46]but it's something you should really consider when a handgun is involved. [05:42.30] [06:05.28]John! [06:06.36] [06:06.40]- How did you get in here? - I know where you keep the key. [06:09.95] [06:11.20]- Mimosa? - No, I'm pregnant, you jackass. [06:13.41] [06:13.45]I made yours with seltzer. [06:14.87] [06:14.91]Do you have any idea what you've done? [06:16.79] [06:16.83]That little stunt you pulled yesterday in the courtroom [06:18.25] [06:18.25]could get carlos sent away for eight years. [06:21.67] [06:21.71]Yeah,I thought you might be a little mad about that. [06:24.30] [06:24.34]But once you calm down, [06:26.38] [06:26.42]you'll see that it's just the two of us. [06:28.72] [06:28.76]It's gonna be awesome. [06:30.89] [06:32.64]you brought luggage? [06:34.85] [06:34.89]He's gone. We don't have to sneak around anymore. [06:37.48] [06:37.52]We can have a real relationship. [06:39.85] [06:40.14]It's what's best for the three of us. [06:41.69] [06:41.73]The three of us? How exactly does that benefit Carlos? [06:45.48] [06:45.52]- I'm talking about my baby. - You don't know it's your baby. [06:48.07] [06:48.11]I don't even know it's your baby. [06:49.61] [06:49.65]And I don't wanna know 'cause it doesn't matter. [06:52.07] [06:55.08]so what,you don't love me? [06:57.33] [06:57.37]Well, up until the point that you told my husband we were having an affair, [07:00.25] [07:00.29]I was quite fond of you. [07:01.62] [07:01.67]Since then... [07:03.50] [07:03.58]not a fan! [07:05.17] [07:11.84]Hey. [07:12.47] [07:12.51]hey. [07:13.59] [07:13.68]Oh,why on earth would you let them finger paint before breakfast? [07:18.27] [07:18.39]It's my job to clean that up now, so it's my call, right? [07:23.23] [07:24.94]You're right. I'm sorry. [07:26.19] [07:26.23]Hey, I thought the meeting wasn't until 1. [07:27.69] [07:27.73]Oh, I have a thousand things to do before that-- [07:30.49] [07:30.53]borrow a decent scarf from bree, [07:32.61] [07:32.66]buy a lipstick I don't hate-- [07:34.37] [07:34.41]- mommy, mommy, look! - Aah! No! No! [07:36.08] [07:36.12]No, nobody touches mommy, okay? [07:37.70] [07:37.74]I love you, I love your finger painting, [07:39.70] [07:39.70]but if you touch me with those messy hands, [07:41.33] [07:41.37]I will cut them off. [07:42.54] [07:42.58]Go on. Off. Good. [07:44.71] [07:44.75]It's okay. [07:46.17] [07:47.29]- A little nervous? - Who, me? [07:48.84] [07:48.84]I've been out of work for seven years, [07:50.55] [07:50.59]I'm a woman of a certain age in a business that values youth above all else. [07:54.43] [07:54.47]- Why should I be nervous? - You are experienced. [07:58.01] [07:58.06]You are brilliant. [07:59.31] [07:59.35]You are going to nail this job interview, okay? [08:03.19] [08:03.23]Thank you. Uh, no. I can't... [08:04.90] [08:04.94]you're very... so... [08:07.27] [08:07.31]Thank you. Here. [08:09.19] [08:11.40]Oh, my cell phone. [08:13.28] [08:33.01]Lynette, hi, it's Bree. [08:34.84] [08:34.88]I do hope I'm not calling too early. [08:37.22] [08:37.60]Hmm? [08:38.76] [08:39.10]Oh, of course you can borrow that scarf. [08:40.64] [08:40.68]I'll press it for you. [08:42.43] [08:42.68]Um, I have, uh, some news. [08:44.77] [08:44.81]Rex died. [08:46.90] [08:48.90]I thought they were gonna operate. What happened? [08:51.32] [08:51.36]Apparently rex's heart just gave out. [08:55.03] [08:55.07]Oh, my god. [08:57.07] [08:57.16]So when can we see Bree? [08:58.57] [08:58.62]She said she was gonna call. [08:59.95] [09:00.03]She's gotta lot of things to do, [09:02.20] [09:02.24]planning for the funeral, that sort of thing. [09:05.37] [09:05.41]She doesn't look that busy to me. [09:08.00] [09:13.09]Hi, hi. What are you doing out here? [09:16.30] [09:16.47]Oh, I'm just waiting for, uh, Rex's mother. [09:18.51] [09:18.55]She's gonna be here any second. [09:20.18] [09:20.22]Honey, we are so sorry. [09:22.64] [09:23.18]Oh, do one of you drink soy milk? [09:25.60] [09:25.64]I was cleaning out the fridge this morning, [09:27.02] [09:27.06]and Rex is the only one who drinks it. [09:29.81] [09:29.86]I just bought it on friday. I'd hate to throw it away. [09:33.57] [09:35.40]What a waste. [09:37.70] [09:39.03]Oh, sweetie. [09:40.49] [09:40.53]Honey, you can let it out. [09:42.28] [09:42.33]No. No, I can't afford to fall apart right now. [09:44.62] [09:44.66]Why? [09:46.37] [09:46.41]You're about to find out. [09:48.54] [09:50.04]Bree! [09:51.88] [09:51.92]Oh, stop here. This is the house. [09:54.25] [09:54.30]Is that... [09:55.63] [09:55.67]yes, that is Rex's mother. [09:58.72] [10:06.56]I can't believe it. [10:08.10] [10:08.14]It's like some hideous nightmare. [10:10.69] [10:10.73]My life is over! [10:12.77] [10:12.82]My life is over! [10:15.82] [10:31.21]it appears there's a 7-year gap since your last position. [10:35.63] [10:35.67]What, did you take some time off? [10:37.63] [10:37.67]I was a stay-at-home mom. [10:39.72] [10:39.72]I wish it had been time off. [10:41.97] [10:42.09]- Boy or girl? - A girl... [10:44.89] [10:45.01]- and three boys. - Four kids? [10:47.81] [10:47.85]Yeah, of course, they won't get in the way of the job [10:49.73] [10:49.77]because my husband's staying home with them from now on. [10:53.90] [10:55.65]I knew I could never do both jobs justice. [10:58.19] [10:58.24]That's why I choose not to have a family. [11:01.49] [11:01.61]I didn't want to be one of those kind of women-- [11:03.66] [11:03.66]you know, sloughing things off onto coworkers [11:07.08] [11:07.12]because of a pediatrician appointment or a dance recital. [11:10.71] [11:10.75]I get really neurotic about putting people out. [11:15.09] [11:15.84]With all due respect, Nina, won't be an issue. [11:18.80] [11:18.84]I can leave home at home. [11:20.34] [11:20.38]And it's not gonna break your heart to leave those sad little faces behind? [11:23.84] [11:23.93]are you kidding? [11:25.89] [11:25.93]This office is paradise-- [11:27.72] [11:27.76]grown-ups talking about grown-up things. [11:30.43] [11:30.48]No screaming, no vomiting, no boogers under the table. [11:33.77] [11:33.81]You're gonna have to drag me outta here kicking and screaming-- [11:36.73] [11:36.77]weekends, holidays, whenever. [11:39.99] [11:41.49]All right, Ed wants to make the final decision. [11:44.32] [11:44.36]So I will bring you back tomorrow at 3 for a follow-up. [11:48.70] [11:48.74]Well,that--that sounds great. Thank you-- [11:50.87] [11:50.87]Lynette, be early. Show me something. [11:54.33] [11:55.00]Okay. [11:56.92] [11:57.92]No way. Dad did not have a teddy bear. [12:00.05] [12:00.05]He most certainly did. [12:01.76] [12:01.84]Oh, that was Doolittle. [12:03.97] [12:04.01]Your father never went anywhere without him. [12:06.76] [12:10.39]Here's your tea, Phyllis. [12:12.56] [12:15.48]Look, Bree. [12:16.48] [12:16.52]This was the tie that Rex wore when he graduated from prep school. [12:20.86] [12:21.53]I think he should wear it. [12:24.11] [12:24.11]You know, for the funeral? [12:26.95] [12:26.99]Phyllis, that's an orange tie. [12:29.49] [12:29.49]Well, those were his school colors--green and orange. [12:31.87] [12:31.87]Well, um, he's being buried in a blue suit. [12:36.04] [12:36.92]maybe he could be buried in a different suit. [12:40.71] [12:40.75]I don't think so, but thank you, though. [12:43.80] [12:44.84]You, uh, you kept dad's old comic books? [12:47.64] [12:47.68]Oh, yes, I kept everything. [12:49.89] [12:49.97]Look here. [12:51.52] [12:52.60]I even kept the dirty magazine that he hid under his mattress. [12:58.31] [12:58.65]He didn't think I knew about it, but I did. [13:02.61] [13:04.28]well, looks like dad was into big breasts. [13:06.32] [13:06.36]Oh, yes. [13:07.49] [13:07.53]That's why I was surprised when he married your mother. [13:11.16] [13:20.04]So you're just not gonna talk to me, is that it? [13:22.84] [13:25.17]Fine. [13:26.72] [13:27.18]I don't need to talk. [13:29.97] [13:34.39]Okay. Yes, I had a little affair. [13:36.73] [13:36.73]It wasn't the best thing to do, and I'm not proud of it. [13:39.23] [13:39.23]But it's not the worst thing that could have happened. [13:40.69] [13:40.73]Nobody died. [13:42.94] [13:43.90]Oh, don't be such a martyr, Carlos. [13:46.32] [13:46.36]Okay, it takes two people. [13:48.74] [13:48.78]How many times did you go off on your little business trips [13:50.87] [13:50.91]and leave me alone? [13:52.74] [13:52.78]See, so technically, you cheated, too. [13:55.08] [13:55.12]It's just your mistress was your work. [13:58.12] [13:58.16]No, okay. That was a stretch. I'm sorry. [14:00.50] [14:00.54]Carlos, wait! Come back. Look, I wanna start over. [14:04.59] [14:04.59]We're gonna have a baby. [14:06.46] [14:06.51]Isn't that what you always wanted? [14:09.30] [14:09.80]Carlos, wait! [14:10.89] [14:10.89]I said I was sorry and I love you! [14:13.05] [14:13.10]What more do you want?! [14:15.77] [14:16.31]I want a paternity test. [14:19.60] [14:26.65]Mrs. Applewhite, hi. [14:28.03] [14:28.07]I am Bree Van de Kamp, [14:29.91] [14:29.95]and this is my daughter Danielle. [14:32.32] [14:32.37]- Hello. - Hi. [14:33.70] [14:33.74]- Hey, I'm Matthew. - This is my son. [14:35.83] [14:35.83]Hi. I would have been oversooner to introduce myself, [14:39.21] [14:39.25]but I'm afraid there's been a death in my family. [14:42.71] [14:42.75]My dad. [14:43.71] [14:43.75]- I'm so sorry. - I lost my dad, too. [14:45.96] [14:46.00]I know what you must be going through right now. [14:48.26] [14:48.30]Thank you. [14:49.13] [14:49.13]Anyway, I'm afraid that my visit has an ulterior motive. [14:52.64] [14:52.68]The organist at our churchis on vacation, [14:55.06] [14:55.10]and Edie Britt mentioned that you used to be a concert pianist, and-- [14:58.81] [14:58.85]I would be honored to play for you. [15:00.81] [15:00.85]Why don't I bring some sheet music over later [15:02.77] [15:02.81]and we can plan some selections? [15:04.44] [15:04.48]Thank you. That's just a huge weight off my shoulders. [15:08.36] [15:08.40]- Oh,these are for you. - How sweet. [15:12.41] [15:12.99]Bree, we widows have to stick together. [15:17.24] [15:18.41]Bye. [15:20.21] [15:28.46]Pretending your father's dead? [15:30.51] [15:30.55]Don't you find that a little morbid? [15:32.13] [15:32.18]Well, I just thought it could help our cover story, okay? [15:33.93] [15:33.93]Just, you know, win 'em over. [15:36.30] [15:38.56]Oh, sweetie. I know you meant well. [15:42.69] [15:42.89]But in the future, you leave the cleverness to me. [15:47.23] [15:55.28]Since when are we protected by dorset security? [15:57.45] [15:57.49]Oh, we're not. It's a deterrent in case Zach comes back. [16:00.54] [16:00.58]I told mike I didn't sleep last night, so he got me this sign. [16:03.67] [16:03.71]That guy is so supportive. [16:05.08] [16:05.13]You know he's out right now in a ride-along with the police searching for Zach? [16:08.67] [16:08.67]- Really? - Yeah. [16:10.09] [16:10.13]He's determined to see that kid behind bars. [16:13.05] [16:13.09]So tomorrow at school I want you to let everybody know [16:15.01] [16:15.05]that we got this new, expensive security system. [16:17.22] [16:17.22]- Mom, just-- - work it into the conversation. [16:19.14] [16:19.18]- You know, put the word out there - I've gotta tell you something. [16:20.93] [16:20.97]- Emphasize the motion detectors. - Mom, stop, stop. Listen. [16:23.98] [16:24.02]What? What is it? [16:25.81] [16:25.85]Yesterday I overheard mike telling that cop [16:28.40] [16:28.44]that he didn't wanna press charges against Zach. [16:31.40] [16:31.57]He made the whole thing sound like it was your fault. [16:33.74] [16:33.78]My fault? [16:35.66] [16:44.66]Hi. Uh, I need a paternity test. [16:47.29] [16:47.33]Well, we'll just schedule you for an exam. [16:49.42] [16:49.46]Oh, no, no. I-I don't need to take a test. [16:52.76] [16:53.51]I am just trying to reassure my husband of what I know is true in my heart. [16:59.60] [16:59.64]So if you could just slip me someone else's test results, [17:02.81] [17:02.85]I could make my own. [17:04.14] [17:04.18]I got photoshop for christmas. [17:06.94] [17:08.77]Oh, come on. [17:10.73] [17:10.82]You look like a fun-loving girl. [17:13.53] [17:13.57]I am sure you've been in a couple hairy situations of your own. [17:17.74] [17:19.16]Just because I choose to express myself [17:21.49] [17:21.53]doesn't mean that I condone adultery. [17:24.12] [17:24.16]Sorry. [17:25.71] [17:42.85]Paternity test results? [17:45.56] [17:45.73]I know. I'm in the same situation. [17:49.23] [17:49.23]- Really? - Mm-hmm. [17:50.90] [17:50.94]I just found out the clinic screwed up [17:52.69] [17:52.73]and gave me an egg that belonged to some lesbian. [17:56.15] [17:56.32]It was supposed to be implanted in her lover, [17:58.78] [17:58.82]and now my husband's freaking out [18:00.82] [18:00.87]because he thinks that our baby's gonna be gay! [18:04.62] [18:06.66]Okay. We're in slightly different situations. [18:10.79] [18:10.79]But do you wanna get a cup of coffee and talk about it? [18:13.50] [18:13.50]Yeah. That'd be nice. Thanks. [18:16.96] [18:17.09]Yeah. Us girls have to stick together. [18:19.22] [18:19.26]We shouldn't let that stupid piece of paper ruin our life. [18:23.18] [18:23.22]Yeah! [18:25.01] [18:31.52]Obviously, I've known Rex for years, [18:33.86] [18:33.90]but when it comes to writing a eulogy, [18:35.57] [18:35.61]I like as much input from the family as possible. [18:38.61] [18:38.65]Oh. Well, um, what kind of input? [18:41.41] [18:41.45]Oh, well, he means anecdotes, [18:43.37] [18:43.41]little stories. [18:45.12] [18:45.16]Isn't that what you mean, reverend? [18:46.87] [18:46.91]Well, yes, but, uh, also-- [18:48.79] [18:48.83]I thought that you might need some help, [18:50.71] [18:50.75]so last night I stayed up all night [18:53.71] [18:53.75]and tried to remember funny things [18:57.30] [18:57.34]and moments that said so much about Rex as a person. [19:01.76] [19:01.80]My. How--how many pages do you have there? [19:05.10] [19:05.14]15. [19:07.10] [19:13.56]well, you're hardly going to have to write anything at all, reverend. [19:17.02] [19:17.07]Some of those anecdotes are just priceless. [19:20.07] [19:20.11]Phyllis, these are all things that happened to Rex before he went to college. [19:24.20] [19:24.28]So? [19:25.07] [19:25.07]Well, don't you think it'd be nice if reverend devoted [19:27.24] [19:27.24]part of the eulogy to his life after he was married? [19:29.75] [19:29.79]Oh, well, yes, of course. [19:31.79]

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