聽(tīng)力每日練習(xí) listen 894 That's?funny

1--Hello everyone, and welcome to open mic night! You’re in for a real treat as we’ve got a lot of great comics here with us tonight. First up, we have a very funny man coming straight from the state of Montana, Robert Hicks!
 
2--Thank you, everyone! Well, what a lovely crowd. You know, there’s nothing I love better than stand-up comedy! You know, I’ve been working on my routine for months now, and I’ve got some real zingers for you tonight. Let’s start out with some short jokes, how bout that? Where do you find a one legged dog?…… Where you left it.
 
2--Get it? Mmm Anyways... What do you call a sheep with no legs? …… A cloud !
 
2--Tough crowd... Alright, now you’re going to love this joke. It’s hilarious! What do cows do for entertainment? ……They rent moooovies ! moooovies
 
2--Okay, Okay, we’ve got a few hecklers in the audience, but this one is good! What does a fish say when it runs into a wall? ……DAM!
 
2--Okay, Last one! Why do gorillas have big nostrils? ……Because they got big fingers!!!!!!!!!
 
3--You suck! Get off the stage!
 
2--Thanks， everyone ！That was my time.
 
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注解：
 
1.comics漫畫(huà)
2.comedy喜劇
3.entertainment娛樂(lè)
 
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譯文：
 
1--大家好，歡迎來(lái)到現(xiàn)場(chǎng)自由演出。今晚你會(huì)大飽眼福，因?yàn)檫@里有很多很棒的喜劇演員。首先，有請(qǐng)來(lái)自蒙大拿州的Robert Hicks。
2--謝謝大家。多可愛(ài)的觀眾。我最喜歡站著為大家表演笑話。我一直表演自己的系列節(jié)目已經(jīng)有幾個(gè)月的時(shí)間了。今晚我為大家?guī)?lái)一些精致幽默的評(píng)說(shuō)。先來(lái)些小笑話，這個(gè)如何？在什么地方你能找到一只腿的狗？……在你放狗的地方。
2--明白了。沒(méi)有腿的羊叫什么？……云彩！
2--野蠻的觀眾。你們會(huì)喜歡這個(gè)笑話。它很逗樂(lè)。牛怎么娛樂(lè)？……他們出租電影。（牛的叫聲和movie的發(fā)音很像）
2--好吧的，好的，觀眾中有些難纏的人，但是這個(gè)笑話很搞笑。當(dāng)魚(yú)撞上了墻，它會(huì)說(shuō)什么？……它會(huì)說(shuō)“該死的”。
2--好吧，最后一個(gè)。大猩猩為什么有大鼻孔？……因?yàn)樗麄兊闹割^大。
3--太遜了，下去吧。
2--謝謝，大家。我表演完了。