暮光之城?暮色第101期:第七章夢魘(10)

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[00:01.07]If Edward was a vampire, I could hardly make myself think the words 如果愛德華真的是一個吸血鬼，我很難讓自己去想這個詞 [00:05.05]then what should I do? Involving someone else was definitely out. 我該怎么辦?讓別人牽連進來顯然是不行的。 [00:10.40]I couldn't even believe myself; anyone I told would have me committed. 我甚至不敢相信自己。不管我告訴誰，我都得承擔(dān)相應(yīng)的責(zé)任。 [00:15.34]Only two options seemed practical. The first was to take his advice: 只有兩個選項似乎比較有可行性。第一個是聽取他的建議： [00:20.28]to be smart, to avoid him as much as possible. To cancel our plans, 聰明點，離他遠遠的。取消我們的計劃， [00:24.93]to go back to ignoring him as far as I was able. 回到盡可能無視他的狀態(tài)。 [00:28.24]To pretend there was an impenetrably thick glass wall between us in the one class where we were forced together. 當我們被迫坐在一起上課的時候，假裝我們之間有一堵無法穿透的，厚厚的玻璃墻。 [00:34.26]To tell him to leave me alone — and mean it this time. 告訴他離自己遠點——而且這一次要表現(xiàn)出來。 [00:38.67]I was gripped in a sudden agony of despair as I considered that alternative. 當我思考著這個選擇的時候，我忽然陷入了一種絕望的痛苦之中。 [00:43.99]My mind rejected the pain, quickly skipping on to the next option. 我的心抗拒著這種痛苦，迅速跳到下一個選項。 [00:48.54]I could do nothing different. After all, if he was something… 我什么也不用做。畢竟，就算他是某種 [00:54.07]sinister, he'd done nothing to hurt me so far. 危險的存在，至今他也沒做什么傷害我的事。 [00:57.46]In fact, I would be a dent in Tyler's fender if he hadn't acted so quickly. 事實上，如果他的動作不是那么快的話，我本來會成為泰勒的擋泥板下的一道凹痕的。 [01:03.12]So quickly, I argued with myself, that it might have been sheer reflexes. 這么快，我和自己爭論著，這絕對反映了一些問題。 [01:08.34]But if it was a reflex to save lives, how bad could he be? 但如果這種反映是用來拯救生命的，他能有多壞? [01:13.15]I retorted. My head spun around in answerless circles. 我反駁著。我的腦子徒勞無功地轉(zhuǎn)著。 [01:17.09]There was one thing I was sure of, if I was sure of anything. 如果我能肯定什么事的話，有一件事情我很肯定。 [01:21.21]The dark Edward in my dream last night was a reflection only of my fear of the word Jacob had spoken, 昨晚我夢里的那個黑暗的愛德華只是我對雅克布所說的話而產(chǎn)生的恐懼的表現(xiàn)， [01:27.85]and not Edward himself. Even so, when I'd screamed out in terror at the werewolf's lunge, 并非愛德華本人。雖然如此，當我因為狼人的進攻而驚恐地尖叫出聲的時候， [01:35.25]it wasn't fear for the wolf that brought the cry of "no" to my lips. 我也不是因為害怕狼而從嘴里喊出了“不”。 [01:39.32]It was fear that he would be harmed，even as he called to me with sharp-edged fangs, I feared for him. 我只是害怕著他可能會受傷，即使他露出鋒利的尖牙呼喚著我，我也在為他擔(dān)心著。

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If Edward was a vampire — I could hardly make myself think the words — then what should I do? Involving someone else was definitely out. I couldn't even believe myself; anyone I told would have mecommitted.

如果愛德華真的是一個吸血鬼——我很難讓自己去想這個詞——我該怎么辦?讓別人牽連進來顯然是不行的。我甚至不敢相信自己。不管我告訴誰，我都得承擔(dān)相應(yīng)的責(zé)任。

Only two options seemed practical. The first was to take his advice: to be smart, to avoid him as much as possible. To cancel our plans, to go back to ignoring him as far as I was able. To pretend there was an impenetrably thick glass wall between us in the one class where we were forced together. To tell him to leave me alone — andmean it this time.

只有兩個選項似乎比較有可行性。第一個是聽取他的建議：聰明點，離他遠遠的。取消我們的計劃，回到盡可能無視他的狀態(tài)。當我們被迫坐在一起上課的時候，假裝我們之間有一堵無法穿透的，厚厚的玻璃墻。告訴他離自己遠點——而且這一次要表現(xiàn)出來。

I was gripped in a sudden agony of despair as I considered that alternative. My mind rejected the pain, quickly skipping on to the next option.

當我思考著這個選擇的時候，我忽然陷入了一種絕望的痛苦之中。我的心抗拒著這種痛苦，迅速跳到下一個選項。

I could do nothing different. After all, if he was something… sinister, he'd done nothing to hurt me so far. In fact, I would be a dent in Tyler's fender if he hadn't acted so quickly. So quickly, I argued with myself, that it might have been sheer reflexes. But if it was a reflex to save lives, how bad could he be? I retorted. My head spun around in answerless circles.

我什么也不用做。畢竟，就算他是某種……危險的存在，至今他也沒做什么傷害我的事。事實上，如果他的動作不是那么快的話，我本來會成為泰勒的擋泥板下的一道凹痕的。這么快，我和自己爭論著，這絕對反映了一些問題。但如果這種反映是用來拯救生命的，他能有多壞?我反駁著。我的腦子徒勞無功地轉(zhuǎn)著。

There was one thing I was sure of, if I was sure of anything. The dark Edward in my dream last night was a reflection only of my fear of the word Jacob had spoken, and not Edward himself. Even so, when I'd screamed out in terror at the werewolf's lunge, it wasn't fear for the wolf that brought the cry of "no" to my lips. It was fear that he would be harmed — even as he called to me with sharp-edged fangs, I feared for him.

如果我能肯定什么事的話，有一件事情我很肯定。昨晚我夢里的那個黑暗的愛德華只是我對雅克布所說的話而產(chǎn)生的恐懼的表現(xiàn)，并非愛德華本人。雖然如此，當我因為狼人的進攻而驚恐地尖叫出聲的時候，我也不是因為害怕狼而從嘴里喊出了“不”。我只是害怕著他可能會受傷——即使他露出鋒利的尖牙呼喚著我，我也在為他擔(dān)心著。

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