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生活大爆炸第十一季第4集：霍華德為生子神傷萊納德為媽媽擔(dān)憂

所屬教程:生活大爆炸第十一季

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2018年08月13日

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0,0:00:02.74,	It feels like it wasn't that long ago
	感覺(jué)就在不久前
0,0:00:04.77,	we were here doing this for Halley.
	我們?yōu)榱薍alley才來(lái)過(guò)這兒
0,0:00:07.04,	Cause it wasn't.
	因?yàn)榫蜎](méi)多久
0,0:00:09.58,	Which reminds me, before we leave,
	這提醒我了我們走之前
0,0:00:11.48,	let's get you a vasectomy.
	給你做個(gè)結(jié)扎
0,0:00:13.61,	Oh, that's sweet, but today is all about you.
	太貼心了但今天的主角是你
0,0:00:20.09,	So, you two ready to find out the sex of this baby?
	你們二位準(zhǔn)備好知道寶寶的性別了嗎?
0,0:00:23.02,	Yeah.-Absolutely.
	對(duì)-肯定的
0,0:00:24.29,	Is Halley hoping
	Halley想要個(gè)
0,0:00:25.76,	for a little brother or a little sister?
	小弟弟還是小妹妹呀?
0,0:00:27.56,	Well, she's nine months old,
	她才九個(gè)月大
0,0:00:28.90,	so unless it jingles or is in my bra, she doesn't care.
	除非是會(huì)響的和能吃奶的她都不在乎
0,0:00:32.97,	And how about you two?
	那你們二位呢?
0,0:00:36.34,	You know, for the first one, we really wanted a girl,
	第一個(gè)的時(shí)候我們特別希望是個(gè)女兒
0,0:00:39.57,	but this time around, we don't have a preference.
	但這次我們沒(méi)有特別要求
0,0:00:42.28,	Yeah. Boy, girl, as long as it's healthy.
	對(duì) 男孩也好女孩也好只要健康就行
0,0:00:45.35,	Well, it's a boy.
	好的是個(gè)男孩
0,0:00:49.25,	Oh.-Oh.
	哦-哦
0,0:00:52.02,	Come on, you can't really be disappointed.
	別這樣你們不會(huì)真的失望吧
0,0:00:55.59,	Hey, I barely know how to be a man myself.
	嘿我自己都不知道怎么做個(gè)男人
0,0:00:57.59,	Now I have to teach someone?
	現(xiàn)在我還要教孩子?
0,0:00:59.59,	As the saying goes, those who can't do, teach.
	俗話說(shuō)得好做不來(lái)的人做老師最好
0,0:01:04.67,	Don't you want a little version of Howard?
	你不想有個(gè)翻版小Howard嗎?
0,0:01:06.70,	I already have a little version of Howard.
	我已經(jīng)有個(gè)小個(gè)子Howard了
0,0:01:10.97,	Now I'm having a son?
	現(xiàn)在要生個(gè)兒子?
0,0:01:12.61,	I'll have to teach him how to play sports,
	我得教他怎么運(yùn)動(dòng)
0,0:01:15.41,	and... and watch sports
	還要... 還要看體育比賽
0,0:01:17.88,	and-and-and-and-and-and...
	還還還還還要...
0,0:01:20.85,	He just ran out of man things. He's in trouble.
	他想不起來(lái)男人要做什么事了他麻煩大了
0,0:01:26.12,	It's okay. We're all here to help.
	沒(méi)事我們會(huì)幫忙的
0,0:01:27.99,	Yes. And this baby will have plenty of manly role models.
	對(duì) 這個(gè)孩子會(huì)有很多有男子氣概的榜樣
0,0:01:31.56,	Now, I'm certain that whatever Bernadette can't teach him,
	任何Bernadette不會(huì)的
0,0:01:33.90,	Penny can.
	Penny可以教
0,0:01:36.50,	Uh, she can pee into a bottle.
	呃她確實(shí)會(huì)在瓶子里撒尿
0,0:01:38.60,	Mm-hmm.
	對(duì)
0,0:01:39.67,	Anything with a neck wider than a nickel.
	只要瓶頸比五分硬幣大
0,0:01:43.84,	Howie, there's a lot of amazing things you can teach a son.
	Howie 你可以教給兒子很多了不起的事
0,0:01:47.28,	Yeah. You do always know how to pick just the right antacid.
	是啊你總是能買到最對(duì)的抗酸劑
0,0:01:50.55,	I don't know if I can teach that.
	我不知道這能不能教
0,0:01:53.55,	It's just something I was born with.
	那是與生俱來(lái)的天賦
0,0:01:56.02,	Come on. You can build things.
	拜托你手工很好
0,0:01:58.05,	You were an astronaut.
	你曾經(jīng)是宇航員
0,0:01:59.59,	That's true.
	這是沒(méi)錯(cuò)
0,0:02:01.06,	You know, as a kid, I used to make model rockets.
	你知道小的時(shí)候我愛(ài)做火箭模型
0,0:02:03.39,	That'd be pretty cool to do with a son.
	要是能跟兒子一起做就太好了
0,0:02:05.23,	Model rockets. Finally, something interesting.
	火箭模型終于談到有意思的了
0,0:02:07.86,	What is your preferred mode of recovery?
	你最喜歡的回收流程是什么?
0,0:02:11.13,	Sheldon, we're helping our friends.
	Sheldon 我們?cè)趲椭笥涯?/td>
0,0:02:13.37,	And we got to model rockets, yeah?
	然后我們談到了火箭模型不是嗎?
0,0:02:16.60,	It was a tedious road, but well worth the effort.
	雖然過(guò)程很漫長(zhǎng)無(wú)聊但也值得了
0,0:02:19.81,	- So, have you thought of any names? - Amy.
	那你們想好名字了嗎?-Amy
0,0:02:22.48,	We finally got to model rockets.
	我們好不容易聊到火箭模型
0,0:02:23.64,	Why are you turning back?
	你咋又聊回去了?
0,0:02:26.41,	* Our whole universe was in a hot, dense state *
	* 宇宙一度又燙又稠密 *
0,0:02:29.82,	* Then nearly 14 billion years ago expansion started... Wait! *
	* 140億年前終于爆了炸... 等著瞧! *
0,0:02:33.42,	* The Earth began to cool *
	* 地球開(kāi)始降溫 *
0,0:02:34.96,	* The autotrophs began to drool, Neanderthals developed tools *
	* 自養(yǎng)生物來(lái)起哄穴居人發(fā)明工具 *
0,0:02:37.89,	* We built the Wall We built the pyramids *
	* 我們建長(zhǎng)城我們建金字塔 *
0,0:02:40.19,	* Math, Science, History, unraveling the mystery *
	* 數(shù)學(xué) 自然科學(xué) 歷史揭開(kāi)神秘 *
0,0:02:42.80,	* That all started with a big bang *
	* 一切由大爆炸開(kāi)始 *
0,0:02:44.73,	* Bang! *
	* 砰! *
0,0:02:45.77,	生活大爆炸第十一季第4集
	嘿你去哪啊?
0,0:02:55.66,	Hey, where are you going?
	干洗店你看看這兒
0,0:02:57.00,	Back to the dry cleaner. Look at this.
	他們沒(méi)有把我星艦制服上的污點(diǎn)除掉
0,0:02:58.77,	They didn't get the stain out of my Starfleet uniform.
	你要是不讓我把身體涂成綠色再上床
0,0:03:01.24,	Well, if you didn't make me wear the green body paint in bed,
	你就不用這么費(fèi)勁干洗了
0,0:03:04.27,	you wouldn't have to get it dry-cleaned so much.
	不行完全值得
0,0:03:07.28,	Nah, it's worth it.
	嘿等下是你媽媽
0,0:03:11.78,	Hey, wait, it's your mom.
	真不巧我剛好不在!
0,0:03:13.15,	Oh, too bad. She just missed me!
	嘿 Beverly
0,0:03:19.52,	Hey, Beverly.
	哦你好 Penny
0,0:03:20.86,	Oh, hello, Penny.
	Leonard剛走
0,0:03:22.36,	Uh, Leonard just left.
	他肯定特別失望沒(méi)能跟你通話
0,0:03:23.56,	He's gonna be so upset he missed your call.
	為什么?
0,0:03:25.86,	Why?
	因?yàn)樗?..
0,0:03:27.60,	Because he...
	我不知道
0,0:03:29.47,	Yeah, I don't know.
	你好嗎?
0,0:03:30.80,	How are you?
	你是說(shuō)生活中還是工作上?
0,0:03:32.84,	Did you mean personally or professionally?
	嗯生活中?
0,0:03:35.27,	Um, personally?
	比如你昨晚干嘛了?
0,0:03:36.77,	Like, what'd you do last night?
	我在一個(gè)男人家里吃了古巴餐
0,0:03:38.84,	I had Cuban food at the home of a man
	而且和他進(jìn)行了不愉快的性交
0,0:03:41.11,	with whom I shared unsatisfying intercourse.
	哇哦好吧
0,0:03:46.95,	Wow. Okay.
	我提前回答你接下來(lái)的問(wèn)題
0,0:03:51.25,	And to anticipate your next questions,
	烤豬肉和側(cè)傳教士體位
0,0:03:53.66,	roasted pork and sideways missionary.
	當(dāng)然當(dāng)然因?yàn)槟愠缘糜悬c(diǎn)飽
0,0:03:59.46,	Sure. Sure. 'Cause you were full.
	我都好多年沒(méi)看這些東西了
0,0:04:05.03,	I haven't looked at all this stuff in years.
	這個(gè)有過(guò)
0,0:04:07.80,	Had it.
	這個(gè)有過(guò)
0,0:04:09.14,	Had it.
	這個(gè)跟車庫(kù)一起燒了
0,0:04:10.67,	Burnt down my garage with it.
	我小時(shí)候有三個(gè)火箭模型
0,0:04:13.58,	I had three model rockets as a kid,
	是印度最大的空間計(jì)劃
0,0:04:15.64,	and that was the largest space program in India.
	你有土星五號(hào)復(fù)制品?
0,0:04:18.65,	You have a replica Saturn V?
	對(duì) 我爸在他
0,0:04:22.25,	Yeah. My dad bought it before he, you know,
	拋棄我們之前買的
0,0:04:25.25,	abandoned our family.
	你個(gè)走運(yùn)的
0,0:04:27.19,	Lucky duck.
	沒(méi)有他我都不忍心打開(kāi)它
0,0:04:29.29,	Could never bring myself to open it without him.
	太傻了
0,0:04:34.10,	It's silly.
	不這不傻
0,0:04:35.70,	No, it's not silly.
	我總是希望我爸跟我一起搭火箭
0,0:04:36.83,	I always wanted my dad to build rockets with me,
	但他不感興趣
0,0:04:38.90,	but he wasn't interested.
	是的讓人失望的父親們
0,0:04:41.24,	Ah, yes, disappointing fathers.
	我可是深有體會(huì)
0,0:04:42.71,	Tell me about it.
	我記得十六歲生日的時(shí)候我爸給我買了輛奔馳
0,0:04:44.11,	I remember for my 16th birthday, my dad bought me a Mercedes.
	就是低配版的
0,0:04:47.18,	Like, a little one, like a starter Mercedes.
	他剛把鑰匙遞給我
0,0:04:51.81,	He had barely handed me the keys
	就急著回去工作了
0,0:04:52.98,	before he had to rush back to work.
	我那天晚上很晚了才又見(jiàn)到他
0,0:04:54.72,	I didn't see him again till, like, pretty late that night.
	總之...
0,0:05:00.79,	Anyway...
	盡管我很氣他離開(kāi)了
0,0:05:04.06,	as angry as I was with him leaving,
	但搭建這些東西或許是
0,0:05:07.76,	building this stuff is probably what led me
	我成為工程師的原因
0,0:05:09.93,	to become an engineer.
	我想用他自己的方式
0,0:05:11.47,	I suppose, in his own way,
	我爸也在鼓勵(lì)我追求科學(xué)
0,0:05:13.70,	my dad also encouraged me to pursue science.
	我是說(shuō) 是他教給我
0,0:05:15.70,	I mean, he is the one that taught me
	腸胃氣脹是可燃的
0,0:05:17.54,	that flatulence is combustible.
	還有滌綸運(yùn)動(dòng)短褲不可燃
0,0:05:20.88,	And also, polyester gym shorts don't burn.
	但會(huì)熔化
0,0:05:24.81,	They melt.
	對(duì) 我想我成為物理天文學(xué)家是因?yàn)?/td>
0,0:05:28.02,	Yeah, I guess I'm an astrophysicist because,
	小時(shí)候我說(shuō)我喜歡看星星
0,0:05:30.05,	as a kid, I said I like to look at the stars,
	然后我爸送我去夏威夷參觀了凱克望遠(yuǎn)鏡
0,0:05:32.52,	so my dad sent me to Hawaii to visit the Keck telescope.
	去你們的我真的很痛苦
0,0:05:38.53,	Screw you. My pain is real.
	管他的忘記過(guò)去
0,0:05:44.40,	You know what? Forget the past.
	你和我一起搭建這枚火箭怎么樣?
0,0:05:47.00,	What do you say you and me build this rocket?
	聽(tīng)起來(lái)這會(huì)是
0,0:05:50.27,	That sounds like it could be
	我們倆聯(lián)系感情的好機(jī)會(huì)
0,0:05:52.01,	a real bonding experience for us.
	很好吧?
0,0:05:53.84,	Right?
	哦我知道了
0,0:05:54.88,	Oh, I see.
	你覺(jué)得這是好事啊
0,0:05:55.84,	Oh, you think that's a positive.
	你不想跟Sheldon和Howard一起玩?
0,0:06:02.18,	So, you don't want to hang out with Sheldon and Howard?
	不他們?cè)诳勘瘧K的童年套近乎
0,0:06:04.95,	No, they were bonding over their sad childhoods,
	而我的父母一直在我身邊
0,0:06:07.49,	and my stupid parents were always there for me.
	這是什么?
0,0:06:12.59,	What's all this?
	我在把Halley穿不下的衣服打包起來(lái)
0,0:06:13.93,	I'm just boxing up all the clothes Halley's outgrown.
	看來(lái)我們?cè)僖灿貌簧狭?/td>
0,0:06:16.13,	Guess we won't need them anymore.
	哦慢著
0,0:06:18.10,	Oh, well, slow down.
	我肯定有些東西是可以給男孩用的
0,0:06:19.44,	I'm sure there's some you could reuse for a boy.
	爸爸的小閨女?
0,0:06:21.44,	Daddy's little girl?
	好吧要是我們把它改成
0,0:06:24.61,	Okay, well, what if we, uh, change it to say,
	爸爸的小萬(wàn)人迷呢?
0,0:06:27.28,	Daddy's little girl magnet?
	變! 男孩上衣了
0,0:06:29.75,	Boom! Boy shirt.
	那這件呢?
0,0:06:33.42,	What about this?
	好吧
0,0:06:34.58,	Uh, okay.
	把裙擺去掉在胸前縫個(gè)閃電
0,0:06:35.95,	Uh, pull off the skirt, slap a lightning bolt on the front,
	你就有小閃電俠了
0,0:06:38.45,	and you got baby Flash.
	哦哦
0,0:06:40.19,	Ooh.
	里面再加上長(zhǎng)袖
0,0:06:41.39,	Stick a long sleeve under it.
	變! 小Sheldon
0,0:06:42.59,	Boom! Baby Sheldon.
	哇你真的很擅長(zhǎng)這個(gè)
0,0:06:46.50,	Wow, you're really good at this.
	拜托
0,0:06:48.16,	Oh, please.
	這又不是我第一次
0,0:06:49.30,	This isn't my first time
	把女裝改成男裝了
0,0:06:50.53,	turning girl clothes into boy clothes.
	怎么? 你穿過(guò)姐姐們的剩衣服?
0,0:06:54.18,	Why? You got your sister's hand-me-downs?
	哦是啊
0,0:06:57.11,	Yeah, that.
	哦我應(yīng)該帶上花生的
0,0:07:03.75,	Oh. I should've brought peanuts.
	你不能吃花生你過(guò)敏
0,0:07:06.72,	You can't eat peanuts. You're allergic.
	你要是死了誰(shuí)開(kāi)車帶我回家?
0,0:07:08.76,	If you die, who's going to drive me home?
	我不是要吃
0,0:07:11.96,	I'm not gonna eat them.
	這是噴氣推進(jìn)實(shí)驗(yàn)室的慣例
0,0:07:13.53,	It's a thing they do at JPL.
	漫游者項(xiàng)目最終發(fā)射成功的時(shí)候
0,0:07:15.06,	When the Ranger mission finally had a successful launch,
	房間里有花生
0,0:07:17.13,	there were peanuts in the room.
	從那以后他們每次發(fā)射都有花生
0,0:07:18.43,	Ever since then, they have them at every launch.
	聽(tīng)起來(lái)像是很蠢的迷信活動(dòng)
0,0:07:21.20,	That sounds like a silly superstition.
	更像是傳統(tǒng)啦
0,0:07:23.81,	It's more of a tradition.
	哦! 我確實(shí)喜歡傳統(tǒng)
0,0:07:26.27,	Oh! I do love a tradition.
	你能在下一個(gè)花生店停一下嗎?
0,0:07:28.71,	Could you pull over at the next peanut store?
	根本沒(méi)有花生店這一說(shuō)
0,0:07:32.38,	I don't think that's a real thing.
	哦別這么迂腐
0,0:07:35.35,	Oh, don't be pedantic.
	任何賣堅(jiān)果的店都行
0,0:07:36.72,	Any nut store will do.
	我... 我覺(jué)得這附近買不到花生
0,0:07:38.35,	I... I don't think we can get peanuts out here.
	好吧那這一整天都被毀了
0,0:07:42.79,	Ah, well, then this whole day's ruined.
	我現(xiàn)在想想或許真的更像是一種迷信呢
0,0:07:46.13,	Now that I think about it, maybe it is more of a superstition.
	咻! 差點(diǎn)上當(dāng)
0,0:07:50.13,	Whew! That was close.
	哦嘿 Beverly 你打的是我的手機(jī) 不是Leonard的
0,0:08:00.44,	Oh, uh, hey, Beverly, you called my phone, not Leonard's.
	其實(shí) 我就是想找你的
0,0:08:03.41,	Actually, I was hoping to speak with you.
	現(xiàn)在合適嗎?
0,0:08:06.48,	Is this a good time?
	呃這看情況
0,0:08:08.12,	Uh, that depends.
	你那里幾點(diǎn)啊?
0,0:08:09.95,	What time is it where you are?
	剛剛過(guò)五點(diǎn)
0,0:08:11.65,	Uh, just after 5:00.
	這消息很重要
0,0:08:12.82,	Yeah, that counts.
	怎么了?
0,0:08:15.12,	What's up?
	我很喜歡那天跟你聊天
0,0:08:17.66,	Well, I enjoyed our conversation the other day,
	我希望可以繼續(xù)聊下去
0,0:08:21.00,	and I was hoping to continue it.
	真的嗎?
0,0:08:23.06,	Really?
	當(dāng)然你或許會(huì)感到奇怪
0,0:08:24.27,	Uh, yes. You may find this surprising,
	但我沒(méi)有多少你所謂的女朋友們
0,0:08:26.57,	but I don't have a lot of what you would call girlfriends.
	說(shuō)啥呢?
0,0:08:29.84,	What?
	當(dāng)然了我有女性同事
0,0:08:33.71,	Of course, there are my female colleagues,
	但她們都是弗洛伊德學(xué)派的人
0,0:08:37.11,	but, uh, they're all Freudians,
	so the only boy that I can dish about is my father.
0,0:08:39.05,	所以我唯一能吐槽的男性就是我父親了
	n8}弗洛伊德主張戀父情結(jié)
0,0:08:39.05,	{
	好吧你有我呢
0,0:08:48.76,	Uh, well, you know, I'm here for you.
	你想聊什么?
0,0:08:50.02,	What do you want to talk about?
	上一次我們主要談了我的生活
0,0:08:51.42,	Well, last time, we focused on my life.
	如果我們要做真閨蜜的話
0,0:08:54.62,	If we're going to be real girlfriends,
	我們應(yīng)該也聊聊你的生活
0,0:08:56.49,	we should talk about you as well.
	你知道嗎如果我們要做
0,0:08:58.19,	Well, you know, if we're gonna be
	真閨蜜我們應(yīng)該聊另一個(gè)女生
0,0:08:59.63,	real girlfriends, we should get a third girl
	在背后說(shuō)她壞話
0,0:09:01.67,	we can trash behind her back.
	哦這太陰險(xiǎn)了
0,0:09:04.47,	Oh, so we'd be catty.
	我喜歡
0,0:09:07.30,	Oh, I like it.
	Sheldon的未婚妻怎么樣?
0,0:09:10.04,	What about Sheldon's fiance?
	她看起來(lái)有點(diǎn)無(wú)趣
0,0:09:12.11,	She seems a bit dour.
	哦無(wú)趣? 我的乖乖
0,0:09:15.08,	Ooh, dour? Meow.
	好了
0,0:09:23.62,	All right.
	開(kāi)始了
0,0:09:24.92,	Here we go.
	L倒計(jì)時(shí) 十九...
0,0:09:26.29,	L-minus ten, nine...
	等下你干嘛呢? 應(yīng)該是T倒計(jì)時(shí)
0,0:09:28.56,	Wait, what are you doing? It's T-minus.
	我是宇航員我們用L倒計(jì)時(shí)
0,0:09:30.79,	I was an astronaut. We used L-minus.
	但這是土星五號(hào)
0,0:09:33.36,	But this is a Saturn V,
	他們發(fā)射的時(shí)候用的是T倒計(jì)時(shí)
0,0:09:35.37,	and when they launched those, they said T-minus.
	這是我的火箭! 就要照我的方式來(lái)
0,0:09:36.90,	It's my rocket! We're doing it my way.
	好吧
0,0:09:40.17,	Fine.
	不是說(shuō)我知道你爸為什么拋棄你了
0,0:09:44.11,	I'm not saying I know why your dad left,
	但我有些想法了
0,0:09:46.01,	but I think I'm getting an idea.
	L倒計(jì)時(shí)
0,0:09:50.18,	L-minus
	十九八
0,0:09:51.28,	ten, nine, eight,
	七六...
0,0:09:53.22,	seven, six...
	因?yàn)槟阌悬c(diǎn)霸道
0,0:09:54.48,	Cause you're kind of bossy.
	五四三二
0,0:09:58.19,	Five, four, three, two,
	一...
0,0:10:01.22,	one...
	我記得應(yīng)該飛的比這個(gè)高一點(diǎn)
0,0:10:06.70,	I remember them going up higher.
	真是完美
0,0:10:18.17,	Well, that's perfect.
	我能給我兒子做的
0,0:10:19.24,	I mean, the one thing I thought I could
	唯一一件事我都做不好
0,0:10:21.21,	do with my son, I can't even do that right.
	你想再看一遍吧我錄了視頻
0,0:10:23.95,	Well, if you want to see it again, I got it on video.
	慢動(dòng)作下看起來(lái)帥呆了
0,0:10:27.42,	Looks pretty cool in slow motion.
	多謝你的支持
0,0:10:30.25,	Thank you for your support.
	不用謝-我在說(shuō)反話
0,0:10:31.95,	- You're welcome. - I was being sarcastic.
	說(shuō)什么呢!
0,0:10:34.22,	How dare you!
	Sheldon 我該怎么辦?
0,0:10:37.93,	Sheldon, what am I gonna do?
	我是說(shuō) 我不知道該怎么養(yǎng)大一個(gè)男孩?
0,0:10:40.19,	I mean, what do I know about raising a boy?
	你知道該怎么養(yǎng)大一個(gè)小女孩?
0,0:10:44.27,	What do you know about raising a girl?
	天吶你說(shuō)的對(duì)
0,0:10:49.54,	Oh, my God, you're right.
	我不知道你說(shuō)的是不是反話
0,0:10:52.31,	Well, I don't know if that was sarcasm or not.
	所以不用謝或者說(shuō)什么呢!
0,0:10:55.51,	So, either you're welcome, or hey!
	Leonard 真的需要從沙發(fā)上給我發(fā)短信
0,0:11:07.49,	Leonard, did you really just text me from the couch
	讓我給你的三明治多放點(diǎn)芥末嗎?
0,0:11:09.29,	to put extra mustard on your sandwich?
	我怕你不查郵件
0,0:11:11.89,	I was worried you might not check your e-mail.
	別逼我把這個(gè)扔出去
0,0:11:18.53,	I swear to God, I will throw this out.
	那個(gè)不是我
0,0:11:20.67,	That one was not me.
	等等是你媽媽
0,0:11:22.40,	Oh, wait, it was just your mom.
	我媽給你發(fā)短息?
0,0:11:24.24,	My mother's texting you?
	是啊最近我們聊得很多
0,0:11:25.87,	Yeah. We've been talking a lot lately.
	為什么?
0,0:11:27.98,	Why?
	她是對(duì)著墻上的魔鏡說(shuō)膩了嗎?
0,0:11:30.04,	She sick of talking to the magic mirror on the wall?
	不是我覺(jué)得她有點(diǎn)孤單
0,0:11:33.95,	No, I think she's lonely.
	她想要跟人交流
0,0:11:36.32,	She's been reaching out.
	好吧小心一點(diǎn)
0,0:11:37.95,	Okay, just be careful.
	你自以為你跟她關(guān)系近了
0,0:11:41.39,	You think you're getting close to her,
	但馬上你會(huì)發(fā)現(xiàn) 你被她寫進(jìn)書(shū)里
0,0:11:42.99,	and the next thing you know, you're featured in a book
	名叫 "他是故意的:撫養(yǎng)尿床的青少年"
0,0:11:45.43,	called He's Doing It On Purpose: Raising a Teenage Bed-Wetter.
	不是那樣
0,0:11:50.06,	No, it's not like that.
	她一直敞開(kāi)心扉談?wù)撍纳?/td>
0,0:11:52.00,	You know, she's been opening up about her life,
	對(duì)我的生活也很支持
0,0:11:54.20,	and she's actually been really supportive about mine.
	真的嗎?-對(duì)啊
0,0:11:56.80,	Really?-Yeah.
	我一直在跟她說(shuō)我工作的事
0,0:11:58.21,	I've been telling her about my job,
	然后她說(shuō)她為我感到驕傲
0,0:11:59.44,	and she said she was proud of me.
	那太棒了
0,0:12:01.51,	Well, that's great.
	她從沒(méi)說(shuō)過(guò)為我而驕傲
0,0:12:05.95,	Never told me she was proud of me.
	即使我有一個(gè)月也沒(méi)尿床
0,0:12:10.48,	Even when I stayed dry for a whole month.
	你不想我跟你媽做朋友嗎?
0,0:12:14.12,	Do you not want me to be friends with your mom?
	這么說(shuō)吧
0,0:12:17.26,	Well, let's be clear.
	我娶你是為了傷害她
0,0:12:18.89,	I-I married you to hurt her.
	你把這都?xì)Я?/td>
0,0:12:24.60,	You're kind of ruining it.
	開(kāi)心的第十三個(gè)原因
0,0:12:29.27,	Reason number 13 to feel good:
	這是一次失敗的發(fā)射
0,0:12:32.67,	as a launch, it was bad,
	但作為一次爆炸它是十分壯麗的
0,0:12:34.91,	but as an explosion, it was glorious.
	你手指頭都還在
0,0:12:40.88,	you still have all your fingers,
	男孩子喜歡有指頭的老爸
0,0:12:43.62,	and boys prefer a dad with fingers.
	謝謝你
0,0:12:46.72,	Thanks for trying,
	但你不會(huì)讓我振作起來(lái)的
0,0:12:48.12,	but you're not gonna be able to cheer me up.
	那要不這樣?
0,0:12:50.42,	Well, how about this, then?
	年輕人在我讓你哭之前
0,0:12:52.49,	You quit your whining before I give you
	你最好別抱怨了
0,0:12:54.23,	something to cry about, young man.
	什么?
0,0:12:56.30,	What?
	我爸安慰別人時(shí)經(jīng)常這么說(shuō)
0,0:12:58.43,	Those are comforting words my father would often say.
	有效果嗎?
0,0:13:02.40,	Did it help?
	我不是好好長(zhǎng)大了嗎
0,0:13:04.24,	I turned out great.
	你看有效果沒(méi)
0,0:13:06.17,	You tell me.
	走吧還是
0,0:13:07.68,	Let's get going.
	這一路回去你都要這么喪嗎?
0,0:13:10.28,	Are you gonna be this mopey all the way home?
	我不知道也許吧
0,0:13:13.15,	I don't know, maybe.
	我給你講一個(gè)精彩的三角學(xué)謎語(yǔ)
0,0:13:14.68,	There any chance you'd be cheered up
	你會(huì)不會(huì)高興點(diǎn)?
0,0:13:16.35,	by an amazing trigonometry riddle?
	你要是這都答不上來(lái)
0,0:13:20.25,	Well, if you can't answer that,
	那謎語(yǔ)更沒(méi)戲啦
0,0:13:21.92,	there's no way you're gonna get this riddle.
	嘿你覺(jué)得怎么樣?
0,0:13:30.93,	Oh, hey, hey, what do you think?
	不能因?yàn)槭悄泻⒆?/td>
0,0:13:33.77,	Just because it's a boy, I don't think you need to
	你就要往他的短袖上放生殖器吧
0,0:13:36.14,	put a picture of genitals on his shirt.
	那是棒球帽和兩個(gè)小棒球
0,0:13:38.61,	But that's a baseball bat with two little baseballs.
	好吧我看出來(lái)了
0,0:13:42.38,	Okay, and now I see it.
	你知道我理解
0,0:13:46.88,	So, you know, I understand why
	Howard有了兒子有點(diǎn)焦慮
0,0:13:49.28,	Howard is nervous about having a son,
	但你也很苦惱嗎?
0,0:13:51.25,	but are you really upset about it?
	沒(méi)有我挺好
0,0:13:53.22,	No, I'm fine.
	我有一群兄弟陪我長(zhǎng)大
0,0:13:54.86,	It's just, I grew up with a bunch of brothers,
	所以我覺(jué)得Halley有個(gè)妹妹挺好
0,0:13:56.82,	so I thought it'd be nice for Halley to have a sister.
	這有問(wèn)題嗎?
0,0:13:59.49,	Is that wrong?
	當(dāng)然有問(wèn)題
0,0:14:00.63,	Of course it's wrong.
	你不知道這個(gè)小男孩會(huì)是什么樣
0,0:14:02.56,	You don't know what this little boy's gonna be like.
	也許會(huì)很粗野喧鬧
0,0:14:04.10,	Maybe he'll be rough and tumble,
	也許會(huì)很溫柔敏感
0,0:14:06.50,	or maybe he'll be sweet and sensitive,
	也有可能這些特點(diǎn)都有就像我
0,0:14:08.80,	or maybe he'll be all those things, like me.
	你很粗野?
0,0:14:14.51,	You're rough and tumble?
	那當(dāng)然小婊砸
0,0:14:18.08,	You bet I am, bitch.
	但基于我的敏感我后悔說(shuō)了剛剛那句
0,0:14:22.28,	But I'm also sensitive and regret saying that.
	嘿-嘿
0,0:14:31.13,	Hey.-Hello.
	你有空嗎?
0,0:14:33.26,	You got a sec?
	恩怎么了?
0,0:14:35.73,	Sure. What's up?
	Penny最近跟我媽聊得火熱
0,0:14:36.70,	Penny's been talking to my mother
	像是最好的朋友一樣我有點(diǎn)嚇壞了
0,0:14:39.03,	like they're best friends, and it's kind of freaking me out.
	嗯哼...
0,0:14:42.17,	Okay...
	我很確定她倆不是最好的朋友
0,0:14:44.77,	I'm pretty sure they're not best friends.
	因?yàn)槟阒荒苡幸晃蛔詈玫呐笥?/td>
0,0:14:51.31,	Cause you can only have one best friend.
	Penny有那就是我
0,0:14:56.02,	And Penny has that, and it's me.
	是嗎? 她現(xiàn)在是跟你在視頻通話嗎?
0,0:15:01.06,	Oh, really? Is she FaceTiming with you right now?
	因?yàn)樗诟覌屢曨l哦
0,0:15:03.49,	Because she's FaceTiming with my mom, and believe me,
	并且相信我你是不想多看那張臉的
0,0:15:05.43,	that is not a face you want to spend time with.
	最近我比較忙
0,0:15:08.90,	Hmm. Well, I have been pretty busy lately.
	可能忽略了我們的友誼
0,0:15:12.57,	Maybe I've been neglecting our friendship.
	Penny知道我跟我媽之間的關(guān)系很復(fù)雜
0,0:15:14.64,	Penny knows I have a complicated relationship
	但是她好像一點(diǎn)都不在乎
0,0:15:16.10,	with my mother; it's like she doesn't even care.
	一邊是實(shí)驗(yàn)室
0,0:15:17.87,	And with everything going on at the lab
	一邊還要籌劃婚禮
0,0:15:19.44,	and planning the wedding,
	我都沒(méi)什么時(shí)間了
0,0:15:20.71,	I just, I have so little free time.
	Penny都不知道我媽多么會(huì)擺布人
0,0:15:23.54,	Penny doesn't know how manipulative my mother can be.
	你知道有個(gè)東西叫
0,0:15:26.35,	Did you know there's such a thing as
	反轉(zhuǎn) 反轉(zhuǎn) 再反轉(zhuǎn)心理學(xué)嗎?
0,0:15:27.65,	reverse, reverse, reverse psychology?
	那真的存在
0,0:15:29.52,	Because... there is.
	我是說(shuō) 她肯定覺(jué)得自己被拋棄了
0,0:15:32.85,	I mean, she must feel so abandoned.
	她習(xí)慣了我在身邊
0,0:15:34.36,	She's used to me being there all the time,
	但是我現(xiàn)在有了自己生活
0,0:15:36.22,	but now I have my own life,
	她不得不接受
0,0:15:37.63,	and she's just gonna have to accept it.
	為什么我媽為Penny感到自豪而不是我?
0,0:15:39.69,	And why is my mom proud of Penny and not me?
	問(wèn)題是Penny為什么會(huì)害怕
0,0:15:42.50,	I mean, the real question is: why is Penny so afraid of me
	我的成長(zhǎng)?
0,0:15:44.57,	growing as a person?
	我也很有才啊!
0,0:15:45.67,	I'm good at stuff, too!
	我有權(quán)過(guò)自己的生活!
0,0:15:46.87,	I deserve my own life!
	喔謝謝
0,0:15:51.51,	Okay, well, thanks.
	聊的不錯(cuò)
0,0:15:53.07,	Good talk.
	你知道研究表明
0,0:16:00.61,	You know, studies have shown
	被情緒分心的司機(jī)
0,0:16:02.45,	that people distracted by emotional issues
	開(kāi)不好車
0,0:16:05.59,	are poor drivers.
	那被乘客惹惱而分心的人呢?
0,0:16:07.55,	What about people distracted by irritating passengers?
	那測(cè)試起來(lái)有點(diǎn)難
0,0:16:13.29,	That would be hard to test,
	因?yàn)槿菒朗莻€(gè)主觀的概念
0,0:16:14.80,	because irritating is a subjective quality.
	完全不贊成
0,0:16:17.97,	Strongly disagree.
	可以讓我開(kāi)嗎?
0,0:16:25.71,	Can I drive?
	不行
0,0:16:27.01,	No.
	你不能
0,0:16:28.61,	You can't drive.
	你連駕照都沒(méi)有
0,0:16:29.74,	You don't even have a license.
	其實(shí) 我有駕照
0,0:16:31.81,	Actually, I do.
	真的嗎? 什么時(shí)候的事?
0,0:16:33.01,	Really? Since when?
	三年前
0,0:16:36.28,	Three years ago.
	我那時(shí)候喜歡考證
0,0:16:37.72,	I went on a bit of a license kick.
	我還是商業(yè)漁民
0,0:16:40.32,	I'm also a commercial fisherman.
	那為什么你從來(lái)不自己開(kāi)?
0,0:16:44.19,	Then why don't you ever drive yourself?
	實(shí)話說(shuō) 我是勉強(qiáng)考過(guò)的
0,0:16:46.86,	Honestly, I barely passed my test.
	有次我自個(gè)開(kāi)車
0,0:16:48.73,	And the one time I drove on my own,
	掉了個(gè)頭之后暈得吐了然后走回的家
0,0:16:50.63,	I made a U-turn, got dizzy, threw up and walked home.
	你真的想開(kāi)嗎?
0,0:16:56.44,	You really want to drive?
	看起來(lái)是最好的時(shí)機(jī)
0,0:16:58.34,	It seems like the perfect time.
	路很直也沒(méi)什么人
0,0:17:00.47,	The roads are straight, there's no one around,
	你也不在乎死活
0,0:17:03.21,	and you don't seem to care if you live or die.
	活 Sheldon 我想活
0,0:17:06.48,	Live, Sheldon. I want to live.
	這就有點(diǎn)難辦了
0,0:17:10.02,	That makes things a little trickier,
	但我會(huì)盡力的
0,0:17:11.69,	but I'll do my best.
	嗨 Pen...
0,0:17:17.36,	Hi, Pen...
	哦你好 Leonard
0,0:17:18.39,	Oh, hello, Leonard.
	媽你最近怎么樣?
0,0:17:22.83,	Hello, Mother. How are you?
	- 挺好的你呢? - 很好
0,0:17:24.16,	- Fine. And you? - I'm great.
	很愉快的交流
0,0:17:26.30,	Well, it's been lovely catching up.
	等等我們得談一下
0,0:17:28.47,	Wait. Hang on. We need to talk.
	喔老弟
0,0:17:31.11,	Oh, brother.
	我想知道你為什么不為我而驕傲?
0,0:17:33.87,	I want to know, why aren't you proud of me?
	問(wèn)題不應(yīng)該是
0,0:17:37.61,	Well, isn't the real question,
	你為什么不為自己感到驕傲嗎?
0,0:17:39.81,	why aren't you proud of yourself?
	那也是個(gè)問(wèn)題我也常問(wèn)自己
0,0:17:42.06,	No, that is aquestion... and I ask it a lot...
	但我們還是回到我問(wèn)你的這個(gè)
0,0:17:47.55,	but let's stick with the one I asked you.
	但你為什么會(huì)認(rèn)為我不為你感到驕傲呢?
0,0:17:49.86,	But why do you think I'm not proud of you?
	因?yàn)槟銖臎](méi)說(shuō)過(guò)
0,0:17:52.63,	Because you never say it.
	你跟Penny只聊了兩天
0,0:17:55.06,	But two days into chatting with Penny,
	你就不停地說(shuō)她有多棒
0,0:17:56.76,	and you can't stop telling her how great she is.
	她確實(shí)很好
0,0:17:59.13,	She is great.
	實(shí)話時(shí)候我的孩子的所有配偶中
0,0:18:00.37,	Honestly, of all of my children's spouses,
	我最中意她
0,0:18:03.44,	she's the one that I'm most impressed by.
	認(rèn)真的嗎?
0,0:18:05.94,	Seriously?
	是
0,0:18:07.94,	Yes.
	她自信體貼
0,0:18:09.04,	She's confident, she's thoughtful,
	而且從沒(méi)有抱怨過(guò)你
0,0:18:11.45,	and she never complained about you once.
	我知道那樣需要多大的勇氣
0,0:18:13.65,	I know what kind of strength that takes.
	所以 Penny是你的最愛(ài)?
0,0:18:16.98,	So, Penny's your favorite?
	我想是的
0,0:18:20.42,	I suppose she is.
	你娶對(duì)了人 Leonard 為此我為你而自豪
0,0:18:22.89,	You married well, Leonard, and for that I am proud of you.
	我不... 我不... 我不知道該說(shuō)什么
0,0:18:29.96,	I don't... I don't... I don't know what to say.
	我也為你努力不哭出來(lái)而感到自豪
0,0:18:32.53,	I'm also proud of how hard you're trying not to cry.
	謝謝
0,0:18:38.34,	Thank you.
	現(xiàn)在該掛了吧?
0,0:18:39.67,	Would you like to hang up now?
	眼淚要出來(lái)了
0,0:18:41.48,	Yeah, here it comes.
	你的手放在十點(diǎn)鐘和兩點(diǎn)鐘方向
0,0:18:50.45,	Your hands are at 10:00 and 2:00.
	很好腳踩著油門
0,0:18:52.62,	Good. Steady on the gas.
	嗯好
0,0:18:55.56,	Okay.
	你現(xiàn)在要慢慢地?fù)Q一下車道
0,0:18:57.36,	Now you're gonna want to slowly switch lanes.
	為什么?
0,0:19:01.03,	Why?
	因?yàn)橛袃蓷l車道
0,0:19:02.03,	Because there are only two,
	你開(kāi)在中間
0,0:19:03.90,	and you're not in either of them.
	不錯(cuò) 干的不錯(cuò)!
0,0:19:10.54,	Attaboy. Well done!
	多謝夸獎(jiǎng)
0,0:19:12.64,	Thank you.
	上次開(kāi)車時(shí) 我都嚇壞了
0,0:19:13.94,	The last time I drove, I was terrified,
	但這次很有趣
0,0:19:16.44,	but this is fun.
	你開(kāi)的挺好
0,0:19:18.05,	You're doing great.
	你是個(gè)好老師
0,0:19:19.91,	You're a good teacher.
	你兒子很幸運(yùn) 有你這樣的父親
0,0:19:24.62,	Your son is going to be lucky to have you as a father.
	謝謝
0,0:19:28.36,	Thanks.
	你覺(jué)得我能開(kāi)快一點(diǎn)嗎?
0,0:19:33.39,	Do you think I could try going a little faster?
	上吧小冠軍
0,0:19:37.26,	Go for it, champ.
	喔
0,0:19:38.77,	Ow.
	抱歉
0,0:19:40.83,	Sorry.
	油門踩輕一點(diǎn)...
0,0:19:42.27,	Just ease on the gas, and...
	踩過(guò)了! 太多了!
0,0:19:44.44,	Oh, too much! Too much!
	我為啥要怕呢? 太激動(dòng)了!
0,0:19:45.91,	Why was I scared of this? This is exhilarating!
	不不慢一點(diǎn)!
0,0:19:48.58,	No, it's not! Slow down!
	別跟我說(shuō)要怎么做！你又不是我爸!
0,0:19:49.94,	Don't tell me what to do! You're not my father!
	你知道你開(kāi)的有多快嗎?
0,0:20:05.45,	Do you know how fast you were going?
	時(shí)速112
0,0:20:07.49,	112
	讓我看一下你的駕照
0,0:20:11.36,	Let me see your license.
	計(jì)劃是這樣-不
0,0:20:14.86,	- Okay, here's the plan. -No.
	好吧
0,0:20:19.03,	Fine.
	給您
0,0:20:20.03,	There you go.
	那什么您先收著吧
0,0:20:24.44,	You know what, you can just keep it.